25 Of The Most Delulu Flexes People Have Proudly Shown Off
Bizarre boasts that were less than impressive.
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When we accomplish something, we often feel a sense of pride in our success and wish to share our achievements with others. This desire for validation drives us to boast, as we seek reactions that enhance the perceived value of our accomplishments. However, not every brag garners the expected response.
Recently, Redditors gathered to discuss the most bizarre flexes they had heard. Instead of being impressed, many found these revelations rather embarrassing. Below, you can read some of the strangest things shared in response to the question, “What’s the weirdest flex you’ve ever heard someone say with a straight face?"
Image source: krill_krill_krill, MART PRODUCTION
My mom used to brag that she stayed in an a*****e relationship because she didn't want to be a "homie hopper" and women should stay loyal to one man and one man only
Anyways, the guy stabbed her and almost k**led her in 2016.
Image source: krysiis, Maurício Mascaro
“I don’t drink water”.
Image source: Iloilocity1, BR1 FDS
I always thought “we work hard, we play hard” was a weird flex bc literally everyone I’ve known who said this worked ungodly hours to the point they had no outside life, and the ‘play hard’ part just meant that when they did get off work, they would drink themselves into oblivion with their coworkers, who were pretty much the only people they had any contact with.
Image source: honeysaliva, Pixabay
Does this count? I had a boss who would call my handwriting ugly and chicken scratch. She thought she had the "authority" to say it because she won an award for her handwriting, which she bragged about almost once a week. Eventually, I learned that the award she won was from Grade 3.................... Girly was in her 70s!
Image source: Preindustrialcyborg, Engin Akyurt
"I dont like your father but I stay with him for you"
Every professional I've spoken to and the rest of my family all agree that my parents shouldve split up because they treat eachother and me like absolute a*s.
Image source: dullgreybathmat, Polina Tankilevitch
"I don't do anything around the house. My wife does it all." I've met your wife dude. She's miserable and hates her life.
Image source: ladydrybones, Tima Miroshnichenko
"I don't read" the guy actually thought this made him cool. I followed the question with "not even magazine articles?" This was right before smartphones completely took over. I was in shock. Still am. He made it sound like he goes out of his way to avoid reading. Like he likes to be willfully ignorant of all things that feed the brain. Maybe I'm a snob, but I can't get behind that. At the very least, maybe read a shampoo bottle when you poop!
Image source: handandfoot8099, Feliphe Schiarolli
My neighbors across the street. A mom, her daughter, and 2 grandkids. She was pissed because the school was sending the police due to her granddaughters missing too many days.
'I didnt finish high school and neither did my daughter, and we turned out fine!'
No, you didnt. You have 4 people in a 2 bedroom house that's falling apart and no car between the 4 of you. She was ranting about this while I was giving her a ride across town, because we are nice people and would occasionally help them.
Image source: SnTnL95, Kindel Media
My cousin once bragged that he had never used sunscreen in his life. Said it with total pride like he was invincible, while peeling like a lobster on vacation. lmao.
Image source: buckyhermit, Vicky Tran
When I worked and lived in South Korea, I came across a guy from the US who proudly claimed that he had been living there for over five years and "I've never tried Korean food, not even once."
Sir, why did you even choose to come to Korea?
Meanwhile, I ate Korean food regularly and discovered brand new favourites – some of which I still seek out at Korean restaurants here in Canada.
Image source: Kronzor_
“I worked 80 hours last week”
A guy at my salaried job.
Image source: LawyerPrincess93, Arthur Swiffen
I once walked out of the grocery store to see a guy leaning against this beautiful electric blue mustang, hitting on some girls and flexing on his ride and how hard he worked to get it and how he could take them for a spin in it if they'd agree to go on a date with him.
It was my mustang. I set the alarm off and just watched the panic from a distance.
Image source: berniemadgoth94, why kei
"I actually drive better when I'm high/drunk".
Image source: StopthinkingitsMe, Tim Mossholder
My ex boss said he doesn't even know the name of his son or how old he exactly is. He's married, his son and wife live in the same house. He's just a d**k.
Image source: Imaginary_Sky_2987, Ivan Aleksic
I have a coworker in his 60s who brags about fights he won in elementary school. Like, watch out, we got a bada*s over here.
Image source: ohdearitsrichardiii, Nadine Primeau
My BIL is almost 60 and doesn't eat fruits or vegetables and he thinks it's funny that his kids and now grandkids are the same.
Image source: AlcatK, Annie Spratt
I've said this before and it was popular, so I'll say it again. Anyone who bragged about not getting good grades.
Image source: Ravenous_Orca_, Maggie Hung
“You’re allergic to shellfish? Psh, so am I but I don’t let it stop me.” Then the guy proceeds to down four or five shrimp.
Imma throw in here I’ve been severely allergic for a couple years, he’d just found out and at first it was just mild skin irritation and a scratchy throat.
Glad I had a back up epi and knew how to use it, exposing himself the way he had been had made the allergy so much worse. Still took him to the ER and stayed with him till they got him unshrimped lol.
Image source: Penguinofmyspirit, Adam Wilson
“I’ve had all degrees of burns.” In college, my husband was loitering in a hallway waiting for his class to open and was standing near a girl and a guy. Girls hands are both wrapped in gauze and the guy asks why. She says she has second degree burns on her hands and had to wrap them up. Then he very confidently comes out with “yeah, well I’ve had all degrees of burns” as the ultimate story top. It is said frequently around my home to this day and is a part of our family vocabulary.
Image source: ItsAlkron, K F
A couple of weeks ago, a mother of 4 was talking and goes,
"I took their pacifiers away really early, and if they sucked their thumb, I just spanked em! None of them suck their thumb now!"
She was beaming with pride, and at that moment, I realized why when she called any of the girls, they instantly ran over. As a young parent, I'm not here to judge your parenting style, but at the same time, beating behavior out of your kid isnt the flex you think it is.
Image source: Bevrykul, Kinga Howard
“I have kids, I’ve passed on my genetic code” - my brother bragging to me whilst being jobless, owing thousands in child support, and barely seeing his kids.
Image source: deformedfishface, Christin Hume
I'm always weirded out by old folk at work who will proudly tell you that they don't know how to use computers properly. That they've never learned to use Excel or whatever. Well done, you're s**t at your job. I'm no spring chicken but I've tried very hard over the years to keep a bit up to date.
Image source: Slabby_the_Baconman, Michael Förtsch
My ex brother in law, when we first met him, said he had a file of Domestic Violence charges as thick as a phonebook.
That was a miserable 4 years.
Image source: sl0wl0rris, José Lugo
A manager of a different department to me prided herself on being crazy busy all the time. She proudly told me she hasn’t listened to music in 15 years because she doesn’t have time. I asked if she has a radio in her car and she said she turns it off. I said, what about in supermarkets where they play background music, she said she tunes it out and ignores it. This conversation was about 12 years ago and I’m still so confused.
Image source: Brilliant-Living-912, Aleksandr Popov
Guy hitting on me at a bar in Los Angeles asked me what I did. Told him I was a 2nd year at UC Berkeley Law.
He guffawed in my face and said “I was just in a national PEDIGREE commercial.” Pedigree as in dog food.
#1
Image source: krill_krill_krill, MART PRODUCTION
My mom used to brag that she stayed in an a*****e relationship because she didn't want to be a "homie hopper" and women should stay loyal to one man and one man only
Anyways, the guy stabbed her and almost k**led her in 2016.
#2
Image source: krysiis, Maurício Mascaro
“I don’t drink water”.
#3
Image source: Iloilocity1, BR1 FDS
I always thought “we work hard, we play hard” was a weird flex bc literally everyone I’ve known who said this worked ungodly hours to the point they had no outside life, and the ‘play hard’ part just meant that when they did get off work, they would drink themselves into oblivion with their coworkers, who were pretty much the only people they had any contact with.
#4
Image source: honeysaliva, Pixabay
Does this count? I had a boss who would call my handwriting ugly and chicken scratch. She thought she had the "authority" to say it because she won an award for her handwriting, which she bragged about almost once a week. Eventually, I learned that the award she won was from Grade 3.................... Girly was in her 70s!
#5
Image source: Preindustrialcyborg, Engin Akyurt
"I dont like your father but I stay with him for you"
Every professional I've spoken to and the rest of my family all agree that my parents shouldve split up because they treat eachother and me like absolute a*s.
#6
Image source: dullgreybathmat, Polina Tankilevitch
"I don't do anything around the house. My wife does it all." I've met your wife dude. She's miserable and hates her life.
#7
Image source: ladydrybones, Tima Miroshnichenko
"I don't read" the guy actually thought this made him cool. I followed the question with "not even magazine articles?" This was right before smartphones completely took over. I was in shock. Still am. He made it sound like he goes out of his way to avoid reading. Like he likes to be willfully ignorant of all things that feed the brain. Maybe I'm a snob, but I can't get behind that. At the very least, maybe read a shampoo bottle when you poop!
#8
Image source: handandfoot8099, Feliphe Schiarolli
My neighbors across the street. A mom, her daughter, and 2 grandkids. She was pissed because the school was sending the police due to her granddaughters missing too many days.
'I didnt finish high school and neither did my daughter, and we turned out fine!'
No, you didnt. You have 4 people in a 2 bedroom house that's falling apart and no car between the 4 of you. She was ranting about this while I was giving her a ride across town, because we are nice people and would occasionally help them.
#9
Image source: SnTnL95, Kindel Media
My cousin once bragged that he had never used sunscreen in his life. Said it with total pride like he was invincible, while peeling like a lobster on vacation. lmao.
#10
Image source: buckyhermit, Vicky Tran
When I worked and lived in South Korea, I came across a guy from the US who proudly claimed that he had been living there for over five years and "I've never tried Korean food, not even once."
Sir, why did you even choose to come to Korea?
Meanwhile, I ate Korean food regularly and discovered brand new favourites – some of which I still seek out at Korean restaurants here in Canada.
#11
Image source: Kronzor_
“I worked 80 hours last week”
A guy at my salaried job.
#12
Image source: LawyerPrincess93, Arthur Swiffen
I once walked out of the grocery store to see a guy leaning against this beautiful electric blue mustang, hitting on some girls and flexing on his ride and how hard he worked to get it and how he could take them for a spin in it if they'd agree to go on a date with him.
It was my mustang. I set the alarm off and just watched the panic from a distance.
#13
Image source: berniemadgoth94, why kei
"I actually drive better when I'm high/drunk".
#14
Image source: StopthinkingitsMe, Tim Mossholder
My ex boss said he doesn't even know the name of his son or how old he exactly is. He's married, his son and wife live in the same house. He's just a d**k.
#15
Image source: Imaginary_Sky_2987, Ivan Aleksic
I have a coworker in his 60s who brags about fights he won in elementary school. Like, watch out, we got a bada*s over here.
#16
Image source: ohdearitsrichardiii, Nadine Primeau
My BIL is almost 60 and doesn't eat fruits or vegetables and he thinks it's funny that his kids and now grandkids are the same.
#17
Image source: AlcatK, Annie Spratt
I've said this before and it was popular, so I'll say it again. Anyone who bragged about not getting good grades.
#18
Image source: Ravenous_Orca_, Maggie Hung
“You’re allergic to shellfish? Psh, so am I but I don’t let it stop me.” Then the guy proceeds to down four or five shrimp.
Imma throw in here I’ve been severely allergic for a couple years, he’d just found out and at first it was just mild skin irritation and a scratchy throat.
Glad I had a back up epi and knew how to use it, exposing himself the way he had been had made the allergy so much worse. Still took him to the ER and stayed with him till they got him unshrimped lol.
#19
Image source: Penguinofmyspirit, Adam Wilson
“I’ve had all degrees of burns.” In college, my husband was loitering in a hallway waiting for his class to open and was standing near a girl and a guy. Girls hands are both wrapped in gauze and the guy asks why. She says she has second degree burns on her hands and had to wrap them up. Then he very confidently comes out with “yeah, well I’ve had all degrees of burns” as the ultimate story top. It is said frequently around my home to this day and is a part of our family vocabulary.
#20
Image source: ItsAlkron, K F
A couple of weeks ago, a mother of 4 was talking and goes,
"I took their pacifiers away really early, and if they sucked their thumb, I just spanked em! None of them suck their thumb now!"
She was beaming with pride, and at that moment, I realized why when she called any of the girls, they instantly ran over. As a young parent, I'm not here to judge your parenting style, but at the same time, beating behavior out of your kid isnt the flex you think it is.
#21
Image source: Bevrykul, Kinga Howard
“I have kids, I’ve passed on my genetic code” - my brother bragging to me whilst being jobless, owing thousands in child support, and barely seeing his kids.
#22
Image source: deformedfishface, Christin Hume
I'm always weirded out by old folk at work who will proudly tell you that they don't know how to use computers properly. That they've never learned to use Excel or whatever. Well done, you're s**t at your job. I'm no spring chicken but I've tried very hard over the years to keep a bit up to date.
#23
Image source: Slabby_the_Baconman, Michael Förtsch
My ex brother in law, when we first met him, said he had a file of Domestic Violence charges as thick as a phonebook.
That was a miserable 4 years.
#24
Image source: sl0wl0rris, José Lugo
A manager of a different department to me prided herself on being crazy busy all the time. She proudly told me she hasn’t listened to music in 15 years because she doesn’t have time. I asked if she has a radio in her car and she said she turns it off. I said, what about in supermarkets where they play background music, she said she tunes it out and ignores it. This conversation was about 12 years ago and I’m still so confused.
#25
Image source: Brilliant-Living-912, Aleksandr Popov
Guy hitting on me at a bar in Los Angeles asked me what I did. Told him I was a 2nd year at UC Berkeley Law.
He guffawed in my face and said “I was just in a national PEDIGREE commercial.” Pedigree as in dog food.DE
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