25 Women Share Their Most Awkward Encounters With A “Nice Guy”

Self-proclaimed, “Nice guys”, are usually anything but nice. More often than not, these men are hiding an agenda and acting purely out of their own selfish interests. The pretence of acting like a nice guy is generally quick to evaporate when they don’t get their way however, as many women have found out according to one Reddit discussion. Scroll below to read all the harrowing experiences women have faced as per their answers to the question, “What’s the worst ‘Nice Guy’ experience you’ve ever had?” 

#1

Image source: jensationallift, Sascha Hormel

Oh my god there was this guy who I would speak to on my commute. He was very awkward and I made polite small talk but really I just wanted to read my book. Anyway one day he comes up to at the train station and says he saw me out with my husband and kids. He then went mental. Accused me of leading him on, called me a slag, threatened to k**l himself, broke down crying, begged me to leave my husband for hm. Then asked to no one in particular why does this keep happening to him.

#2

Image source: Cameltoenail, cottonbro studio

When I was in my 20’s, I lived with my male coworker/best friend for a year. I’m a lesbian and had a long distance girlfriend at the time, and they formed their own friendship when she would come to visit. One weekend, I was away for a wedding, and behind my back he moved her into our home. I was shocked when I came back to this “surprise” and she told me he was adamant about how I wanted her to move in, but I was too scared to ask her so he wanted to surprise me. For the record – I did NOT want to live with her at that time.

Well, within those first 6 months after she moved in, he was the standard nice guy. We all cohabitated well and formed an amazing friendship with family meals, movie nights and outings. But then one night he said he wanted to have a meeting with us.

In a very serious and emotional moment for him, he told us that he wanted us to start a family together and that he would impregnate my girlfriend and we could all spend the rest of our lives living together. We thought he was joking, but he was almost on the verge of tears with how much this would mean to him and was in love with us both. We both shot the idea down and talked privately about how uncomfortable that was.

Cut to the following months, he started pitting us against each other, not cleaning up and was telling each other us that the other was cheating. When we eventually decided to move out and eventually broke up, he immediately tried to date her and she ended up cutting contact with him because he was so pushy. We tried to maintain an amicable friendship because we worked together, but he kept making weird sexual comments my way and I eventually got a new job.

A year later he asked me to go on a walk so we could try to repair the friendship, and he gave me a letter stating he was in love with us both and he had never imagined dealing with heartbreak from two women. He blamed both of us for failing school, living in a s****y apartment and not being where he wanted to be in life. It was so strange, manipulative and heartbreaking as prior to living together – he was truly one of the “nice guys”.

#3

Image source: blueyedwineaux, Мария Волк

A friend of mine for 10 years. I always knew he wanted more, but was always respectful when I said no (sometimes you know a person too well to date them). A mutual friend passed away. He ended up being the one to tell me our friend had passed. He forced hugs on me, told me that eventually I would get “drunk enough” one night and let me inhibitions down and have s*x with him. That he would wear me down eventually. I told him he was giving off r**e vibes and he lost it. I blocked him on everything and have avoided the town where he lives for the past 4 years. Mutual friends think I went too far. Nope, I am a r**e survivor and will not tolerate any of that s**t. Nice guy my a*s.

#4

Image source: himi_jendrix420

Freshman year, a guy in one of my classes offered to tutor me in stats. I said sure—he *was* good at it and I actually needed the help. Every session, he brought me a little gift (coffee, granola bar, handwritten poems… yeah). I tried to tell him it wasn’t necessary but he brushed it off.

Then one day I thanked him and said I finally passed the quiz. His response? “Well now you owe me a date. Or at least a makeout session.”

I said no. He told everyone I’d been leading him on for *months*. Bro. I was just trying to understand standard deviation.

#5

Image source: Salty_Squirrel535, RDNE Stock project

He helped me move brought me coffee and always acted like a great friend until I started dating someone else and he completely flipped called me ungrateful and said I owed him a chance Classic ‘nice guy’ behavior -kindness with conditions.

#6

Image source: leapfroggy, Michael Discenza

Lost one of my friends on a crazy night out in an unfamiliar city. Not picking up her phone. We looked for her for over an hour in a half-mile radius. Finally we got a call from a Nice Guy from the bar who allegedly saw her wandering alone and had brought her to his apartment, heard her phone blowing up and called me back. She was indeed asleep on his couch. We thanked him, packed her up, and went on our way.

A couple days later, he called me again to ask me on a date. I politely declined — I had a bf at the time, but would have said no regardless. That was apparently unacceptable, and he told me I owed it to him for not r**ing my friend when he had the chance. Literally, he told me he could have done whatever he wanted to her and didn’t need to call me at all and it was the least I could do to thank him. I let him know that you don’t get a trophy for not r**ing someone… he cussed me out and went on about how he’s a veteran and how dare I and blah blah blah… hung up and blocked him. Entitled creep.

#7

Image source: Niniva73, Maksym Tymchyk

Invited me over for dinner. There was no food and he was in bed. Worst bait and switch ever!

#8

Image source: ukraian-valkyrie, Polina Tankilevitch

She turned down a date, politely. He said it was okay, he “respected her choice.”
The next day, her nudes were leaked online — ones she had only ever sent to a guy she trusted.
Turns out, Mr. Nice Guy hacked her cloud “to prove she wasn’t so innocent after all.”

#9

Image source: starlitlily, Chandra Oh

Dude would hit himself in the face when I rejected him. And then pulled the “I guess nice guys always finish last. 😔” like uh nice guys don’t punch themselves in the head in front of a woman when they say no thank you….

#10

Image source: badpenny1983, cottonbro studio

Most baffling was a guy at work who offered me a lift home. When we got to my place he was all “aren’t you going to invite me in?” And I was like…no? Then he told everyone at work I was a c**k tease lol.

#11

Image source: BrutallyBond, mikoto.raw Photographer

Was my friend for 7 years! 7 years!

We supported each other in college, studying, he asked and I set him up with a friend, they dated, broke up, I stayed friends with both. Helped each other move at last 5 times, endless resume editing, relationship advice, introduced him to people as my brother. Maximum contact was an occasional hug.

Found myself single near a big birthday, while crying about the fresh break up on the phone with him, he decided that I should try dating him, or at least hook up, and that I owed it to him because he’s always been there for me. Excuse me?! I had always been there for him too and I didn’t think anything was owed to me!

#12

Image source: RareWolf34, RDNE Stock project

I met him when I was 16, he was 20, while playing league of legends. We kept getting in the same games and eventually just added each other and queued up. We lived in the same city and there was a meetup for other gamers so we had met in person a couple months later after playing every day together.

I didn’t really have a lot of friends, so I did cling to him during these meetups, where we would all go to this internet cafe and get pizza and play LoL. He was nice, he would pick me up and drive me to the city or take the train to mine and escort me down and teach me about public transport. I truly saw him as a best friend.

Eventually, I guess he got inpatient. He would be jealous that I had a crush on a guy in my grade, lamenting about what this boy had that he didn’t. He’d bring up all the things he did for me, how he never asked to be repaid or anything back. He wanted us to lose our virginities to each other, he wanted me. He never did anything to me when I was underage, a silver lining I suppose.

I drifted myself away from him and he let go.

Two years pass, I’m 18. I see him again when there’s a big LoL event in our city and he starts talking to me. I was naive, I forgave him. Because how could I hate someone for wanting me? Ha.

He offers to drive me home, I accept because it’s late and I’ve overstayed in the city talking to him.

He’s changed! Apparently. He’s gone to gym, got fit, started seeing girls and lost his virginity! Good for him, I said. He talks about how he loves it when women are smaller than him, like me, how these Asian girls love how big he is, how he throws them around. I’m uncomfortable, because I am an Asian girl. He asks if I’ve done anything yet, I guess he thinks that my aversion to dating him before was because I was frigid? I’m nearly home. Nearly there! I text my dad, ask him to meet me infront of the house because I’m scared.

He then drops the question, if I’d like to see his p***s. I refuse. He then asks me to change the song, I look down and yea, he has it out. He’s smiling, thinking that I’d be impressed? Or overcome with lust? Quite the opposite.

I open the car door while it’s still moving, he’s swearing and stopping the car and I just get out and tell him to never talk to me again. I’m close to my home and I see my dear dad, standing menacingly in the dark at the end of the driveway.

I run to my dad and he charges down the street to the car. I get back inside and not long after, my father does too. I’m blocked from that guy on every platform I had him on, except Snapchat, where he later sends me a slurry of a**se before blocking me too.

Not much is said but it’s not needed. I love my dad and the day he saved me.

#13

Image source: kaytayotay, Craig Adderley

I met a guy at work who seemed really cool, we would have cigs together every once in a while for months. I gave him my number but told him upfront I wasn’t interested in him in THAT way. He said that was fine, and he understood. We texted here and there, made plans to hang out but we both couldn’t make it the few times we did.

Randomly one day he was drunk and texting me flirty things which I just kinda ignored. Following that day he apologized, and I said it was okay and just reiterated I wasn’t looking for anything like that. He continued to text me, non stop, repeatedly, asking why I wasn’t responding and why I gave him my number if I didn’t “want him”, because he clearly wanted me and that’s why he gave me his number which I must have known.

I told him it wasn’t anything personal and that I wasn’t over my ex. He then asked me to give him graphic details of my ex, like d**k size, what made him so great, etc. I quickly cut the convo off. Later, he started doing the same things to me saying I’m just like every other woman, damaged goods, who blame all men for the actions of their ex. It became scary and I blocked him. Over a year later, he reached out to me from a burner fb account telling me he now has a DUI and it’s my fault, because the night of our conversation he got drunk and went out driving. I responded saying please don’t talk to me. He wrote back saying “remind me again why you don’t like me? Because I’m creepy? An r / nicegguy?” His words verbatim. He’s a disturbing individual.

#14

Image source: headbaang, Owen Vangioni

I was friends with a group of people and closer to one guy in particular. I babysat his kid, he bought me dinner, very give and take type of friendship. One time I’m s******l and really needed to go to the emergency room. Wanted to avoid large ambulance bill so guy I’m close to takes me, afterwards wouldn’t stop hounding me to date him. I said no each time and was met with, “but I took you to the hospital!” It was heavily implied he would have just let me die if he knew ahead of time I would not f**k or date him. How lovely!

#15

Image source: Hippopotasaurus-Rex, Sten Rademaker

I used to daily drive a heavily modified, high HP, turbo car. One day the turbo decided to eat itself. No worries. It was on the top in front of the engine, so easy to access. “Guy” was a friend and ONLY a friend of mine, or so I thought, and offered to help. This is important. He OFFERED. I never asked.

So he comes by, helps take the turbo out. We hang out, shoot the s**t, drink a beer, or a few, finish up the removal, and he goes on his way.

I then send the turbo back for warranty. Turbo comes back maybe a month later.

In the meantime, I had just met “FH”, who happened to be a professional mechanic. When I mentioned I couldn’t hang out with him on a weekend day, he asked why, so I explained. He offered to come help with install. I said thank you, and that was that. He came over, helped with install, we grabbed some food after and then he went home.

So eventually “guy” asks when we are reinstalling the turbo, and I told him it was already done. He got a little weird but apparently I missed the whole thing. Then he started digging. Like I wasn’t capable of doing the job myself (I am), he eventually kept asking who helped me with the install. I told him “FH”.

His reply? “Well I bet he at least got laid for his hard work”.

Uh, I guess eventually he did, since we’ve been together for almost 18 years, but not because he helped me do something I *could* do myself.

TLDR: nice guy thought that helping me work on my car was going to get him laid, even though I absolutely didn’t need his help.

#16

Image source: will_write_for_tacos, Toomas Tartes

A horrible date with a “nice guy” named Josh back in 2002.

We went hiking on our date, he spent the entire time bragging about how smart he was, smarter than everyone he’s ever known, so smart, he knew not to go to a university because community college is just as good for much less. Everyone who goes to a university is an idiot, everyone who doesn’t do things the exact way Josh does them is a low-IQ moron.

All of Josh’s co-workers are idiots; he was the best Geek Squad employee in history, and Best Buy would fall apart without him.

Josh also had a lot of trouble finding a woman because women often have low IQs and can’t keep up with his intellect. Women are dumb, not me, though, I’m OK.

I could not wait to get home and block the guy.

Edit:

I met him on Yahoo Personals. He came off OK there and we arranged a date after a short conversation.

Yes, we had AIM and Yahoo Messenger back then, and that’s where I blocked him.

I don’t know where Josh is today, I don’t care.

I don’t care what his side of the story is, he was a t**t and probably still is.

No, I wasn’t fat.

Josh’s attitude and horrible personality are 100% Josh’s fault, not mine.

#17

Image source: followthedott, Asterfolio

Joined a gaming group, slowly started to speak to someone and make a close friend. 3 months went on, eventually he said he “like liked” me. I said i didn’t feel the same. He took it well and said he was happy to remain friends. We had exchanged Christmas cards before it all went to hell, so he knew where i lived.

Then the little quips of intensity started, until he was calling me 50 times a day, all day every day needed to stay in contact. Slowly chats turned to harrassment every day, making up stories of things I hadn’t done, berating me and blowing up if I didn’t reply within a 30 second window.

I tried to cut him off but then it would make it 10x worse to where he was screaming to everyone that he was going to k**l himself if I didn’t speak to him, I was only 18 at the time. It was easier to just keep the peace than to try and get away. Then the gifts started, sending things to my house, turning up at my house multiple times a week even though he lived 300 miles away. He told everybody a completely different story to what he was actually doing to make himself look better and come out on top. It only stopped when I contacted the police. His entire family still blame me.

#18

Image source: Paula_pau, cottonbro studio

I once went out with a “nice guy” named Matt who said he loved “soft girls with deep thoughts.” Seemed poetic. Big mistake.

On our date, he took me to this weird coffee shop with no menu because “real connoisseurs know what to ask for.” He then ordered for me without asking, because “he could tell what kind of girl I was.”

He kept calling me “kitten” the entire time — I had never given him a nickname to use. He asked if I liked guys who cry and when I said “sure, I think it’s healthy,” he launched into a rant about how women “say they want sensitivity but always go for jerks.”

#19

Image source: funhousefrankenstein, Vlad Fonsark

I wish there were some way to burn every copy of every episode of the TV show *The Big Bang Theory*.

While it was airing, this weird guy thought it was *perfectly normal* to follow me to my office on my first day of grad school. He stood at the door to block my only exit, and proceeded to tell me that he “had to” follow me because otherwise he “might not see me again.” I had to nod along while he thought it made perfect sense to deliver a sales pitch for himself.

Fortunately, the Department head agreed to give me a new office near the receiving desk, so there’d always be other people near. But d**n, what a s****y start to the academic year.

#20

Image source: Remote_Thing_6195

Someone was “my friend” and they were around me at parties and stuff. I got super drunk at one and I was supposed to feel safe there. What he didn’t know is that I heard him saying (as he put me into his friend’s car) “she’s going to be easy tonight” to said friend.

The friend was a gentleman and he laid me in his bed and then went to get his Nintendo switch, sat on the floor and I woke up in time to see him playing and we became best friends.

Thankfully he never tried anything and I cut the other guy out of my life.

#21

Image source: Clear_Ad2384, Maurício Mascaro

Knew this guy in my freshman year of college. Super nice, always willing to go out of his way for people. One night I was at a party with him and my girlfriends and we all got completely crunk wasted except for one friend who was DD. Turns out he tried to get me to come home with him, and when my sober friend told him “no, absolutely not,” he went into this whole spiel about how I owed him the s*x and I needed to come home with him. We all got out of there immediately, and I don’t even remember any of it.

#22

Image source: BingoBandit25, Anthony

When I was about 18-19 I was a very geeky kid (still am!). I got talking to this guy online via a TV show fandom we were both in. He seemed nice, same age, lived only about an hour away by train. I had some episodes of this TV show that he didn’t, and after a few months of friendly email chatting we arranged for him to come to my town and meet up so that he could copy them. This was the days of VHS/DVDs, so not easily transferable online. I had already told him that my parents and brother would be at home and that he was welcome to stay for dinner before he caught the train back.

We met up in town and things seemed to be going OK. We went back to my place and said hi to my parents, after which he seemed really unhappy and told me that he felt ill. While the tapes were recording he spent most of the afternoon locked in the bathroom throwing up. We were all really concerned and thought that he had food poisoning or something.

I was disappointed, as I had thought that we might have a fun afternoon being nerds over this TV show. We’d discussed which episodes to watch, and planned numerous other geeky topics to discuss in person. Instead, he came out of the bathroom, coldly collected his tapes and said that he was leaving early. I walked him back to the train station in silence, gave him a confused hug and waved goodbye. I thought that maybe he was just still feeling ill, or was embarrassed about throwing up.

Several days later, he sent me an email saying that he was still thinking about the hug and asked me to be his girlfriend. I wasn’t attracted to him at all and I really had just thought of him as a friend, so I declined as gently and tactfully as I could.

He didn’t take it well and got angry. He’d apparently convinced himself that I’d invited him to come over to my house and have s*x, despite all our discussions about my family being there and plans for which episodes to watch that afternoon. I read back over our emails and honestly couldn’t see where he’d made that assumption, but he accused me of leading him on and wanted me to repay him his train fare. It felt horrible knowing that he’d only been willing to come and see me because he thought that he could get s*x out of it, and that I wasn’t worth his time or a train trip otherwise.

I now think that he’d either worked himself up into such a state of h***y anticipation that he literally made himself sick from it, or that he was just hiding in the bathroom for hours to avoid having to make actual normal conversation with me while his tapes recorded. Possibly both.

Our contact petered out after that, because he’d shown his true colours. Probably about a year and a half later I got a single terse email from him telling me that he now had a girlfriend so I’d missed my chance, and a picture of the tapes that I’d recorded for him melted and in the bin.

#23

Image source: throw-away-punjaban, Tima Miroshnichenko

He works (still does) in the same lab as me. We’re both from the same part of the world and he insisted he could predict the type of person I was.
That I like music. I enjoy spicy food. I want to get married and have kids. No s**t, so does 99% of the world. Kept insisting we had so much in common.
Then he asked me out for a team planning meal, but it would only be him and I. My gut told me to run and I told that it wouldn’t be appropriate, especially if it was meant to be a team thing. He tried to laugh it off, saying I was “overthinking it,” that it was just “friendly.”

The last straw was when he tried to corner me in the lab, asking personal questions under the guise of “just getting to know a colleague.” I then told him unequivocally that if he needed to talk, make sure it was in email only. It didn’t deter him and it only stopped when HR got involved at my insistence.

He stopped asking questions. But the stares didn’t stop. Neither did the weird little comments slipped into casual conversations, like “I know you better than you think” or “You’ll come around.”

#24

Image source: Kitty_Britches, RDNE Stock project

Ugh. This guy. We hung out for YEARS and I considered him a good friend. We’d play video games, go eat, etc etc. When I left my ex it tore me up. He was such a good person but I just wasn’t happy at all.

I was texting him about it and he sent me a novel about how he’s waited so long for me, and that he felt like it was his turn. I was kinda baffled and didn’t reply. He then sent “Even if you won’t date me, I can give you something physical.” I told him we weren’t going to be discussing that and I tried to put some distance between us. He “apologized” but would still try to get me to come over and drink with him almost every day, which definitely gave me a bad feeling.

When I wasn’t hanging out or really speaking with him it started to ramp up. He started showing up at my work to stare at me from outside the storefront, and then he started sending me Snapchats of him crying with captions like “please I can make you so happy it’s not fair” and “if you ever cared about me you’ll give me just one thing” so then he got blocked on everything.

So several weeks pass and I got involved with my now husband. We made it official on Facebook and all that. I got a text from an unknown number saying “I see why you had no time for me.” And then a few minutes later “F*****g s**t”

Dude was bats**t. I’m convinced he was going to try and get me super drunk and take advantage of me and I’m so glad I never went around him again. It really broke my heart that someone I thought was a good friend was just waiting for his moment to try and swoop in.

#25

Image source: heelstoo

My roommates and I were having a house party one evening, with maybe 40 or so friends. This one gal gets really drunk, so we put her in my bedroom and closed the door – but we checked on her periodically.

When I went to check on her, one guy we knew was in bed with her trying to convince her to wake up to sleep with him. He was actually pretty nice guy, and I liked chatting/hanging with him. But, I told him to GTFO of the room and my house right now in a very serious tone.

He promptly left, and that was the end of it. He eventually married another friend and had kids and seems to have had a happy life together.

Very bizarre and unexpected. Glad the gal was safe, though.