35 Times People Thought Someone Was Joking Until They Awkwardly Realised Otherwise
Unserious reactions to a serious comment.
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Social interactions can be complex to navigate. Our minds may not always interpret the communication correctly, and we may react inappropriately, creating a recipe for embarrassment. Despite the mortifying nature of the situation, looking back, these incidents can be perceived as rather amusing anecdotes.
Recently, someone online asked, “What is your ‘hahaha… oh wait, you’re serious’ moment?” Redditors who’ve faced situations where their reaction was to laugh in the face of an earnest comment narrated every uncomfortable detail so we could fully feel the awkward energy of the interaction, too. Scroll below to peruse a list of memories people revealed on the thread, sharing their second-hand embarrassment in spades.
Image source: Naweezy, warnerbros
I asked a coworker with what his son's name was, and he answered Legolas. After two seconds of laughing I realised he wasn't laughing. His son is actually named Legolas.
Image source: closettransman, cookie_studio/Freepik (not the actual photo)
"Is there a J in the alphabet?"
This was a year 12 student. Her name was Judith.
*Edit*
This was in rural Australia. No other languages other than English. No religion. No accent other than Aussie. No other cultural background.
Image source: squirrelfoot, EyeEm/Freepik (not the actual photo)
I was on a Christian camping week here in the UK. There were some Americans with us. I found a stone on the beach with some great fossils in it and was showing it to some kids. One of the Americans started talking about how God had put fossils in the earth to mislead the vain who trusted their own observations rather than the bible. I, naturally, thought he was joking and burst out laughing, and he was just so offended.
He complained about me to the people running the camp, and they thought he was joking at first and laughed too.
Image source: Gnomes3xfetish, rcphotostock/Freepik (not the actual photo)
Breaking news: "People panic buying toilet paper"
Me at home: "Hahaha"
Me at grocery store: "Oh wait you're serious".
Image source: boxfullofcats, Freepik (not the actual photo)
A coworker was talking about a problem her daughter was having. Coworker was in her late 30's and daughter is about 13-14. Her daughter was conflicted because her best friend since birth (born same day same hospital literally since birth) became friends with a black boy and wants to date this black boy. "But God said its wrong to date outside your race. It isn't natural and it's against God. Black people are fine but they can't date and procreate with white people it's wrong and a sin." So she is having a spiritual battle on leave her friend, or save her friend from this sin.
She had me in the first half then all that racism came out, and..... I couldn't believe it for a moment then I remembered, "Oh yeah, I am in Arkansas."
Image source: somajones, EyeEm/Freepik (not the actual photo)
New relationship with a super nice lady. Romantic weekend getaway. She suggests an afternoon float down a nearby river in a canoe. I know from experience canoeing is a serious test of relationship potential.; my ex-wife and I couldn't even carry a canoe from the beach to the bay without getting into an argument.
Anyhow, new relationship, super nice lady. I'm determined to be a great team player and competent man. I have plenty of experience on the water. This should be a cinch. Canoe livery guy drives us to the drop off. While he is taking the canoe off the trailer and telling us how long the float is and where the pick-up point is I am looking at the river. The wide, slow moving river. The extremely slow-moving river.
Along with the fact that it is a blustery windy day, I can't for the life of me tell which way the river flows. Some leaves are floating left, some leaves are floating right. I toss in a stick and it just floats around in a circle. I'm starting to sweat. I figure I have a 50/50 chance of guessing correctly but if I guess wrong it could be a disaster. Having to ask is a total embarrassment. I'm hoping the livery guy makes some reference to direction but no. I'm desperately hoping to see someone else float by but no. I picture us paddling upstream for two hours and being lost on the river.
Livery guy hands us our paddles and says, "So, if there's nothing else I'll see you in a couple hours. Have fun!"
I bite the bullet and decide that asking is the best way forward.
"Uh, yeah. Which way is downstream?"
Livery guy and Super nice lady both laugh thinking I'm joking.
"No, I'm serious"
Livery guy stops laughing and just points. I'm sure he was thinking that was the most stupid thing he had ever heard.
We paddle downriver a bit and Super nice lady says, "Boy, am I glad you asked. I thought downstream was the other way."
Image source: PoopDoopTrixie, ShiftDrive/Envato (not the actual photo)
An intern at the vet I work at was a very very very sheltered Mormon.
He came to work one day panicked. He had his first kiss the night before, asked the girl to marry him, and was concerned about his wedding date.
He was absolutely convinced that he got her pregnant by kissing her. ABSOLUTELY CONVINCED.
It took me a long time to register what he was panicked about because it sounded so absurd. He'd delivered hundreds of kittens and puppies by then, I just... thought he had also learned about human reproductive anatomy as well as animals by then.
Image source: pm_me_your_cobloaf, Freepik (not the actual photo)
"It's ridiculous that tampon ads aren't banned. The fact they're allowed in public just goes to show that women have too much power"
This wasn't in response to a particularly graphic ad that pushed any boundaries. Just a generic type about comfort and reliability. Took me a while to realize that he wasn't joking.
Image source: Poes_hoes, pvproductions/Freepik (not the actual photo)
I understand people believing in the Bible, but it honestly never dawned on me that people took every story in it for truth instead of like... Stories with morals as to how to lead your life. A coworker of mine mentioned how dinosaurs weren't real because they aren't mentioned in the Bible and I laughed at his joke. He wasn't joking.
Image source: drunken_monkey9, peoplecreations/Feepik (not the actual photo)
Coworker was telling me the world was flat. I'd never met a real flat earther in the wild before that.
Image source: LostInAFishBowl73, pvproductions/Freepik (not the actual photo)
I went to a Southern Baptist church a few times. The preacher mentioned the Earth being 6-8000 years old (or whatever absurd number it was). I had to internalize my giggle. After I left I mentioned it to a friend and was about to make a smart a*s comment when she interrupted me to tell me how glad she was the preacher doesn’t mind speaking the truth. I started laughing thinking she was joking. She is well educated...evidently not a fan of science. She proceeded to tell me that things like carbon dating hasn’t been proven. But the Bible? Solid proof.
Image source: HealingMoonFarm, Freepik (not the actual photo)
Yesterday my mother called to tell me that she thinks I have the coronavirus. I have seasonal allergies and no symptoms related to the virus, btw. She then proceeded to tell me that scientists discovered the virus cannot live over 133 degrees Fahrenheit. At first I got excited that a break through had been made and thought maybe I missed the news announcement. Then she said "Yeah. So they are saying if you plug in a hairdryer and keep breathing in the hot air it will k**l the virus and you will be fine!"
I immediately started cracking up because I thought she had made a joke. Then she got very offended and said it was a "real scientific video" she saw on facebook. Facepalm.
Image source: Cakeisfun, DC Studio/Freepik (not the actual photo)
I came into my job and my boss was running a bit late for an unknown reason. Now, my boss is the type of person to joke about anything, no matter how serious it is and will pull it off with a straight face.
We never really take him seriously unless it is directly related to work. He comes in after being late and after a bit, just casually says our close coworker had passed the previous night.
I literally chuckled and said "Yah, sure" and blew it off. He then said that he died from a heart attack before he was set to go out with his buddies during the evening.
I then said "Oh wait, are you actually serious?" and he almost started crying right there and said yes.
I miss that man to this day, really chill guy with some cool hobbies and volunteer work. I also feel so bad for my boss because they had known each other for years.
Image source: rdg-lee, wirestock/Freepik (not the actual photo)
This was a few years ago. I forgot how the topic was brought up, but I clearly remember my older sister saying, “There aren’t any modern buildings in Egypt, just pyramids”.
Image source: MrSocPsych, aldiozzz/Freepik (not the actual photo)
Back in college, me and a few of my guys would get lunch every Tuesday. Me and two of the guys are there as normal and are waiting for our last guy "Todd". I start texting Todd and asking him about not being at lunch yet. The other guys start narrating what I should text. So I end up saying:
"Matt says get your roly-poly looking a*s over here."
"Steve says that you're the personification of washing your hands and getting your sweater sleeves wet."
It goes on like that for a bit, then Todd calls me directly. He says he can't make it because his grandma died that morning and was headed home to see his family.
The look on the other two guys faces when I told them was priceless.
Image source: Diemak, prostooleh/Freepik (not the actual photo)
I‘m a first aid instructor in Germany and I was at a retirement home, teaching the staff. A women told me, that she read on Facebook, that the only thing you need to do, when someone has a stroke, is to stick a needle into the patients finger, because there will be something like a pressure equalization in the brain.
I started laughing because I thought it was a joke... she was 100% serious and I had to explain her that it’s not true, that it is really important to call an ambulance because a stroke is really dangerous and that Facebook isn’t the best source for medical questions.
Image source: impunto, Freepik (not the actual photo)
A random dude told me I’m girly because I know how to make scrambled eggs.
Image source: thesk8rguitarist, drobotdean/Freepik (not the actual photo)
Was working a job while in early days of college. It was in a popular American restaurant chain where I had been successful as a host, cashier, waiter, and member of their retail store for just about a year. I accidentally forgot that I had swapped shifts with someone and missed the shift entirely. But I came in a few hours after it had started to sincerely apologize and let them know I was going home to change and I’d be right back.
They brought me to the back and told me I was fired. I laughed at first because the boss was occasionally a bit of a jokester. Then I realized he was serious.
To this day it gives me massive anxiety about underperforming in any job I have because I believe I will just be fired for it and they’ll move on regardless of my tenure or knowledge.
Image source: bitterbillsfan, Freepik (not the actual photo)
I play a lot of disc golf and this guy I played with regularly, but is a little off, meets me at a local community college course one day and starts telling me about the last time he played there, and how he threw a shot over the pond and some kids approached it, picked it up and walked off with it. He tells me he yelled at them and told them, “you’ll be sorry next time!”
So as he’s loading up his disc bag, he takes a pistol out of his glove compartment and tucks it in his pants....”just in case they’re there again”...
...on a college campus...
Yeah, I don’t play with him anymore...
Image source: giftedearth, Wavebreak Media/Freepik (not the actual photo)
Waking up from general anesthesia. One of the nurses by my hospital bed gently informs me that my heart had stopped while I was under.
I thought I was dreaming for a while, and didn't take it seriously. Then my dad showed up, and I saw the panic on his face. Then I phoned my mum, and she had obviously been crying her eyes out.
Then I took it seriously.
Image source: Technicolorlovr, Freepik (not the actual photo)
When a coworker told me that climate change isn’t real because “I have a friend in England and it’s snowing there”
One of those moments where your brain blue screens you so all you can do is just walk away.
Image source: toastie2313, Merlin74/Freepik (not the actual photo)
Met this conspiracy theorist at a coffee shop. He tells me that all the technological advances since World War II are from aliens. President Truman signed a treaty with them. The aliens dole out microwaves, computers, etc. and in return they can abduct a few people for tests. When that Malaysian flight disappeared the aliens needed a bunch of people.
Image source: TannedCroissant, user17765284/Freepik (not the actual photo)
There’s a girl at work who used to call the icing sugar ‘talcum powder.’ We didn’t realise for weeks that she actually thought it was called that. She’s actually a pretty switched on girl in general, she just has these weird things.
Image source: Grigiomoda086, marymarkevich/Freepk (not the actual photo)
'My favourite musician is David Hasselhoff'. I laughed straight in her face. Mind you, this is 30 years ago, but even then...
Image source: vee-c-bee, Freepik (not the actual photo)
Through high school I had a friend who was rather secretive about his crushes. There was one crush in particular that he refused to name, so I spent weeks guessing and pestering him. But I wore him down and he agreed to tell me, so I said "Finally! Who is this girl?" And he said "... It's not a girl." I thought he was joking so I laughed and said "No, really who is it?" And he just stared at me. Super embarrassing for me, but he and his boyfriend are very happy now!
Image source: anon, mockupdaddy-com/Freepik (not the actual photo)
This is, essentially, a transcript of a conversation I got to sit in on, between a make-up artist and a teamster on the way to set:
Driver: “Did you see that super-moon last night?
MUA: “Yep! Saw it, and *felt* it!”
Driver: “Felt it?”
MUA: “Oh yeah! I mean, they say that moons - *full moons* - control the tides and the water; and we’re seventy percent water! So it must affect us too!”
This one is followed closely by my “it’s going to rain today, because a few planes just passed over, and chem-trails control the weather” conversation with a camera operator on another show. It was summer. In Malibu. It didn’t rain. Of course it didn’t rain.
Edit: One more springs to mind. I worked with a guy who was in his early 40s and in great shape. He firmly believed that his habit of eating his desserts first at every meal meant that those calories didn’t effect him. I’m no nutritionist, but I’m fairly certain that him doing morning and evening workouts, carrying a medicine ball around all day, and doing push-ups between every camera setup during 12+ hour shooting days was probably more responsible for his health.
Image source: typejr, prostock-studio/Freepik (not the actual photo)
I listed my Ford Explorer for sale. A guy emailed me to trade his 2018 Kia Forte or something. I didn’t really need one since my fleet already had a 2013 Kia Forte but he emailed me a few times saying he wants my explorer but owes money on his Kia. I said how much. He said it’s an 8 year finance deal so need to pay in total $45k. And he wanted my car. I could buy that car right now for $25-30k at the dealership brand new... he was dead serious.
Image source: anon, EyeEm/Freepik (not the actual photo)
A coworker at a restaurant this week told me his hands were hurting from all the extra handwashing and I told him we keep moisturizer in the break room. He asked me why he would need moisturizer if he's been soaking his hands in water so many times in a day.
I explained to a 29 year old man with a house, a car, and a child how soap works.
Image source: GreatLakesCowboy, Freepik (not the actual photo)
When I was in high school I received a message over msn from a buddy saying, "Mitch is dead."
Thinking he got into trouble, I responded with, " Ahaha What'd he do?"
It turns out, he had a brain aneurysm while driving home from school.
Image source: Takeninph, wirestock/Freepik (not the actual photo)
When my 60 year old father told me he broke his hip paragliding into the roof of his hotel.
Edit: I should add it was my parents 60th birthday and this was their "wild spontaneous" event.
Image source: KellyJoyCuntBunny, dotshock/Freepik (not the actual photo)
The gal we rented our apartment from very seriously said, “there is one thing I need to warn you about.” We we’re ready for anything after this somber statement. “The last people who lived here say the apartment is haunted.” We laughed, and said, “haha- you got us! You sounded so serious at first!” She stared at us blankly- she totally meant it.
Image source: TemptCiderFan, Freepik (not the actual photo)
I had an ex-girlfriend try to claim that we were common-law married so she could sue for alimony and my house, despite:
* Not being together for a year
* Not living in the same home for any length of time
* Not sharing our financial situations with one another in the slightest (no shared bills, no joint account, etc)
The basis for this was that I found it funny when friends joked that we were like an old married couple and I didn't immediately clarify the situation to them, so that meant I'd accepted my role as her "husband".
Took a few court dates and she walked away disappointed, while I walked away with my legal fees and a little extra. I could have gone after her harder, but just what my lawyer got probably wiped out most of her savings and maxed out her line of credit, so I'd have been paying my lawyer to try to wring blood out of a stone.
Image source: Basicgorl420, 8photo/Freepik (not the actual photo)
For my 14th bday I asked my mom what she got for me. She told me she bought me a vest. I laughed right at her face and went on a rant about how I hate vests (I thought she knew that beforehand). Fast forward to my bday and I received a brand new vest from her. I felt sooooo bad.
Image source: Naweezy, EyeEm/Freepik (not the actual photo)
Someone once said to my friend " Wait you're Chinese? I always thought you were Asian."
#1
Image source: Naweezy, warnerbros
I asked a coworker with what his son's name was, and he answered Legolas. After two seconds of laughing I realised he wasn't laughing. His son is actually named Legolas.
#2
Image source: closettransman, cookie_studio/Freepik (not the actual photo)
"Is there a J in the alphabet?"
This was a year 12 student. Her name was Judith.
*Edit*
This was in rural Australia. No other languages other than English. No religion. No accent other than Aussie. No other cultural background.
#3
Image source: squirrelfoot, EyeEm/Freepik (not the actual photo)
I was on a Christian camping week here in the UK. There were some Americans with us. I found a stone on the beach with some great fossils in it and was showing it to some kids. One of the Americans started talking about how God had put fossils in the earth to mislead the vain who trusted their own observations rather than the bible. I, naturally, thought he was joking and burst out laughing, and he was just so offended.
He complained about me to the people running the camp, and they thought he was joking at first and laughed too.
#4
Image source: Gnomes3xfetish, rcphotostock/Freepik (not the actual photo)
Breaking news: "People panic buying toilet paper"
Me at home: "Hahaha"
Me at grocery store: "Oh wait you're serious".
#5
Image source: boxfullofcats, Freepik (not the actual photo)
A coworker was talking about a problem her daughter was having. Coworker was in her late 30's and daughter is about 13-14. Her daughter was conflicted because her best friend since birth (born same day same hospital literally since birth) became friends with a black boy and wants to date this black boy. "But God said its wrong to date outside your race. It isn't natural and it's against God. Black people are fine but they can't date and procreate with white people it's wrong and a sin." So she is having a spiritual battle on leave her friend, or save her friend from this sin.
She had me in the first half then all that racism came out, and..... I couldn't believe it for a moment then I remembered, "Oh yeah, I am in Arkansas."
#6
Image source: somajones, EyeEm/Freepik (not the actual photo)
New relationship with a super nice lady. Romantic weekend getaway. She suggests an afternoon float down a nearby river in a canoe. I know from experience canoeing is a serious test of relationship potential.; my ex-wife and I couldn't even carry a canoe from the beach to the bay without getting into an argument.
Anyhow, new relationship, super nice lady. I'm determined to be a great team player and competent man. I have plenty of experience on the water. This should be a cinch. Canoe livery guy drives us to the drop off. While he is taking the canoe off the trailer and telling us how long the float is and where the pick-up point is I am looking at the river. The wide, slow moving river. The extremely slow-moving river.
Along with the fact that it is a blustery windy day, I can't for the life of me tell which way the river flows. Some leaves are floating left, some leaves are floating right. I toss in a stick and it just floats around in a circle. I'm starting to sweat. I figure I have a 50/50 chance of guessing correctly but if I guess wrong it could be a disaster. Having to ask is a total embarrassment. I'm hoping the livery guy makes some reference to direction but no. I'm desperately hoping to see someone else float by but no. I picture us paddling upstream for two hours and being lost on the river.
Livery guy hands us our paddles and says, "So, if there's nothing else I'll see you in a couple hours. Have fun!"
I bite the bullet and decide that asking is the best way forward.
"Uh, yeah. Which way is downstream?"
Livery guy and Super nice lady both laugh thinking I'm joking.
"No, I'm serious"
Livery guy stops laughing and just points. I'm sure he was thinking that was the most stupid thing he had ever heard.
We paddle downriver a bit and Super nice lady says, "Boy, am I glad you asked. I thought downstream was the other way."
#7
Image source: PoopDoopTrixie, ShiftDrive/Envato (not the actual photo)
An intern at the vet I work at was a very very very sheltered Mormon.
He came to work one day panicked. He had his first kiss the night before, asked the girl to marry him, and was concerned about his wedding date.
He was absolutely convinced that he got her pregnant by kissing her. ABSOLUTELY CONVINCED.
It took me a long time to register what he was panicked about because it sounded so absurd. He'd delivered hundreds of kittens and puppies by then, I just... thought he had also learned about human reproductive anatomy as well as animals by then.
#8
Image source: pm_me_your_cobloaf, Freepik (not the actual photo)
"It's ridiculous that tampon ads aren't banned. The fact they're allowed in public just goes to show that women have too much power"
This wasn't in response to a particularly graphic ad that pushed any boundaries. Just a generic type about comfort and reliability. Took me a while to realize that he wasn't joking.
#9
Image source: Poes_hoes, pvproductions/Freepik (not the actual photo)
I understand people believing in the Bible, but it honestly never dawned on me that people took every story in it for truth instead of like... Stories with morals as to how to lead your life. A coworker of mine mentioned how dinosaurs weren't real because they aren't mentioned in the Bible and I laughed at his joke. He wasn't joking.
#10
Image source: drunken_monkey9, peoplecreations/Feepik (not the actual photo)
Coworker was telling me the world was flat. I'd never met a real flat earther in the wild before that.
#11
Image source: LostInAFishBowl73, pvproductions/Freepik (not the actual photo)
I went to a Southern Baptist church a few times. The preacher mentioned the Earth being 6-8000 years old (or whatever absurd number it was). I had to internalize my giggle. After I left I mentioned it to a friend and was about to make a smart a*s comment when she interrupted me to tell me how glad she was the preacher doesn’t mind speaking the truth. I started laughing thinking she was joking. She is well educated...evidently not a fan of science. She proceeded to tell me that things like carbon dating hasn’t been proven. But the Bible? Solid proof.
#12
Image source: HealingMoonFarm, Freepik (not the actual photo)
Yesterday my mother called to tell me that she thinks I have the coronavirus. I have seasonal allergies and no symptoms related to the virus, btw. She then proceeded to tell me that scientists discovered the virus cannot live over 133 degrees Fahrenheit. At first I got excited that a break through had been made and thought maybe I missed the news announcement. Then she said "Yeah. So they are saying if you plug in a hairdryer and keep breathing in the hot air it will k**l the virus and you will be fine!"
I immediately started cracking up because I thought she had made a joke. Then she got very offended and said it was a "real scientific video" she saw on facebook. Facepalm.
#13
Image source: Cakeisfun, DC Studio/Freepik (not the actual photo)
I came into my job and my boss was running a bit late for an unknown reason. Now, my boss is the type of person to joke about anything, no matter how serious it is and will pull it off with a straight face.
We never really take him seriously unless it is directly related to work. He comes in after being late and after a bit, just casually says our close coworker had passed the previous night.
I literally chuckled and said "Yah, sure" and blew it off. He then said that he died from a heart attack before he was set to go out with his buddies during the evening.
I then said "Oh wait, are you actually serious?" and he almost started crying right there and said yes.
I miss that man to this day, really chill guy with some cool hobbies and volunteer work. I also feel so bad for my boss because they had known each other for years.
#14
Image source: rdg-lee, wirestock/Freepik (not the actual photo)
This was a few years ago. I forgot how the topic was brought up, but I clearly remember my older sister saying, “There aren’t any modern buildings in Egypt, just pyramids”.
#15
Image source: MrSocPsych, aldiozzz/Freepik (not the actual photo)
Back in college, me and a few of my guys would get lunch every Tuesday. Me and two of the guys are there as normal and are waiting for our last guy "Todd". I start texting Todd and asking him about not being at lunch yet. The other guys start narrating what I should text. So I end up saying:
"Matt says get your roly-poly looking a*s over here."
"Steve says that you're the personification of washing your hands and getting your sweater sleeves wet."
It goes on like that for a bit, then Todd calls me directly. He says he can't make it because his grandma died that morning and was headed home to see his family.
The look on the other two guys faces when I told them was priceless.
#16
Image source: Diemak, prostooleh/Freepik (not the actual photo)
I‘m a first aid instructor in Germany and I was at a retirement home, teaching the staff. A women told me, that she read on Facebook, that the only thing you need to do, when someone has a stroke, is to stick a needle into the patients finger, because there will be something like a pressure equalization in the brain.
I started laughing because I thought it was a joke... she was 100% serious and I had to explain her that it’s not true, that it is really important to call an ambulance because a stroke is really dangerous and that Facebook isn’t the best source for medical questions.
#17
Image source: impunto, Freepik (not the actual photo)
A random dude told me I’m girly because I know how to make scrambled eggs.
#18
Image source: thesk8rguitarist, drobotdean/Freepik (not the actual photo)
Was working a job while in early days of college. It was in a popular American restaurant chain where I had been successful as a host, cashier, waiter, and member of their retail store for just about a year. I accidentally forgot that I had swapped shifts with someone and missed the shift entirely. But I came in a few hours after it had started to sincerely apologize and let them know I was going home to change and I’d be right back.
They brought me to the back and told me I was fired. I laughed at first because the boss was occasionally a bit of a jokester. Then I realized he was serious.
To this day it gives me massive anxiety about underperforming in any job I have because I believe I will just be fired for it and they’ll move on regardless of my tenure or knowledge.
#19
Image source: bitterbillsfan, Freepik (not the actual photo)
I play a lot of disc golf and this guy I played with regularly, but is a little off, meets me at a local community college course one day and starts telling me about the last time he played there, and how he threw a shot over the pond and some kids approached it, picked it up and walked off with it. He tells me he yelled at them and told them, “you’ll be sorry next time!”
So as he’s loading up his disc bag, he takes a pistol out of his glove compartment and tucks it in his pants....”just in case they’re there again”...
...on a college campus...
Yeah, I don’t play with him anymore...
#20
That there were no gay people as well as women didn’t start getting emotional before the television was invented and it started showing “all that stuff”. Also that woman don’t get MAN-O-pause (that’s literally how he pronounced it). Image source: Wil_Mah#21
Image source: giftedearth, Wavebreak Media/Freepik (not the actual photo)
Waking up from general anesthesia. One of the nurses by my hospital bed gently informs me that my heart had stopped while I was under.
I thought I was dreaming for a while, and didn't take it seriously. Then my dad showed up, and I saw the panic on his face. Then I phoned my mum, and she had obviously been crying her eyes out.
Then I took it seriously.
#22
Image source: Technicolorlovr, Freepik (not the actual photo)
When a coworker told me that climate change isn’t real because “I have a friend in England and it’s snowing there”
One of those moments where your brain blue screens you so all you can do is just walk away.
#23
Image source: toastie2313, Merlin74/Freepik (not the actual photo)
Met this conspiracy theorist at a coffee shop. He tells me that all the technological advances since World War II are from aliens. President Truman signed a treaty with them. The aliens dole out microwaves, computers, etc. and in return they can abduct a few people for tests. When that Malaysian flight disappeared the aliens needed a bunch of people.
#24
Image source: TannedCroissant, user17765284/Freepik (not the actual photo)
There’s a girl at work who used to call the icing sugar ‘talcum powder.’ We didn’t realise for weeks that she actually thought it was called that. She’s actually a pretty switched on girl in general, she just has these weird things.
#25
Image source: Grigiomoda086, marymarkevich/Freepk (not the actual photo)
'My favourite musician is David Hasselhoff'. I laughed straight in her face. Mind you, this is 30 years ago, but even then...
#26
Image source: vee-c-bee, Freepik (not the actual photo)
Through high school I had a friend who was rather secretive about his crushes. There was one crush in particular that he refused to name, so I spent weeks guessing and pestering him. But I wore him down and he agreed to tell me, so I said "Finally! Who is this girl?" And he said "... It's not a girl." I thought he was joking so I laughed and said "No, really who is it?" And he just stared at me. Super embarrassing for me, but he and his boyfriend are very happy now!
#27
Image source: anon, mockupdaddy-com/Freepik (not the actual photo)
This is, essentially, a transcript of a conversation I got to sit in on, between a make-up artist and a teamster on the way to set:
Driver: “Did you see that super-moon last night?
MUA: “Yep! Saw it, and *felt* it!”
Driver: “Felt it?”
MUA: “Oh yeah! I mean, they say that moons - *full moons* - control the tides and the water; and we’re seventy percent water! So it must affect us too!”
This one is followed closely by my “it’s going to rain today, because a few planes just passed over, and chem-trails control the weather” conversation with a camera operator on another show. It was summer. In Malibu. It didn’t rain. Of course it didn’t rain.
Edit: One more springs to mind. I worked with a guy who was in his early 40s and in great shape. He firmly believed that his habit of eating his desserts first at every meal meant that those calories didn’t effect him. I’m no nutritionist, but I’m fairly certain that him doing morning and evening workouts, carrying a medicine ball around all day, and doing push-ups between every camera setup during 12+ hour shooting days was probably more responsible for his health.
#28
Image source: typejr, prostock-studio/Freepik (not the actual photo)
I listed my Ford Explorer for sale. A guy emailed me to trade his 2018 Kia Forte or something. I didn’t really need one since my fleet already had a 2013 Kia Forte but he emailed me a few times saying he wants my explorer but owes money on his Kia. I said how much. He said it’s an 8 year finance deal so need to pay in total $45k. And he wanted my car. I could buy that car right now for $25-30k at the dealership brand new... he was dead serious.
#29
Image source: anon, EyeEm/Freepik (not the actual photo)
A coworker at a restaurant this week told me his hands were hurting from all the extra handwashing and I told him we keep moisturizer in the break room. He asked me why he would need moisturizer if he's been soaking his hands in water so many times in a day.
I explained to a 29 year old man with a house, a car, and a child how soap works.
#30
Image source: GreatLakesCowboy, Freepik (not the actual photo)
When I was in high school I received a message over msn from a buddy saying, "Mitch is dead."
Thinking he got into trouble, I responded with, " Ahaha What'd he do?"
It turns out, he had a brain aneurysm while driving home from school.
#31
Image source: Takeninph, wirestock/Freepik (not the actual photo)
When my 60 year old father told me he broke his hip paragliding into the roof of his hotel.
Edit: I should add it was my parents 60th birthday and this was their "wild spontaneous" event.
#32
Image source: KellyJoyCuntBunny, dotshock/Freepik (not the actual photo)
The gal we rented our apartment from very seriously said, “there is one thing I need to warn you about.” We we’re ready for anything after this somber statement. “The last people who lived here say the apartment is haunted.” We laughed, and said, “haha- you got us! You sounded so serious at first!” She stared at us blankly- she totally meant it.
#33
Image source: TemptCiderFan, Freepik (not the actual photo)
I had an ex-girlfriend try to claim that we were common-law married so she could sue for alimony and my house, despite:
* Not being together for a year
* Not living in the same home for any length of time
* Not sharing our financial situations with one another in the slightest (no shared bills, no joint account, etc)
The basis for this was that I found it funny when friends joked that we were like an old married couple and I didn't immediately clarify the situation to them, so that meant I'd accepted my role as her "husband".
Took a few court dates and she walked away disappointed, while I walked away with my legal fees and a little extra. I could have gone after her harder, but just what my lawyer got probably wiped out most of her savings and maxed out her line of credit, so I'd have been paying my lawyer to try to wring blood out of a stone.
#34
Image source: Basicgorl420, 8photo/Freepik (not the actual photo)
For my 14th bday I asked my mom what she got for me. She told me she bought me a vest. I laughed right at her face and went on a rant about how I hate vests (I thought she knew that beforehand). Fast forward to my bday and I received a brand new vest from her. I felt sooooo bad.
#35
Image source: Naweezy, EyeEm/Freepik (not the actual photo)
Someone once said to my friend " Wait you're Chinese? I always thought you were Asian."DE
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