25 Everyday Skills That Somehow No One Bothered To Teach Us

Adulthood often feels like an endless series of unspoken rules and unwritten lessons—things we were somehow expected to know but were never explicitly taught. One Reddit thread asked, "Adulthood feels like everyone got a 'secret menu' of life skills you missed. What’s one thing you later realized you were supposed to just know, but nobody actually taught you?" The responses were both relatable and surprising.

Here are some of the most common—and unexpectedly tricky—life skills people had to figure out on their own.

#1

Image source: Individual-Fix8513, Sandra Seitamaa / unsplash (not the actual photo) Cleaning as you cook.

#2

Image source: Cotcan, Mushaboom Studio / unsplash (not the actual photo) That you don't need to be constantly doing something productive. You can and should disconnect sometimes, just go watch a movie, read a book, or play a video game. Reddit and other social media will still be there. You aren't missing out on anything.

#3

Image source: CodenameRoxy, Faruk Tokluoğlu / unsplash (not the actual photo) How to really grow up. I'm 40 years old but feel like a kid in a adult world.

#4

As a person with autism, the whole menu is the "secret menu". It feels like the whole world was given the owners manual on "How to be a Human" and all I got was the 5 page IKEA manual. Image source: CarLover014

#5

Image source: nunya-biznez, Becca Tapert / unsplash (not the actual photo) The ability to figure out what to make for dinner every day. That looked so much easier as a kid.

#6

Image source: rejectedbyReddit666, Kelly Sikkema / unsplash (not the actual photo) I realised I didn’t have to get up at 7am on a Sunday, get dressed, & sit in the lounge listening to the radio. I learned it was ok to buy branded foods if you liked them better. I learned I could have a nap anytime, not just when I’m ill. And I learned to drive after being told it was “too technical” for me, I wouldn’t understand it. He ( my dad) successfully put my mum & sister off learning to drive but I learnt on the sly. I passed my test with the local Chief Examiner- a Mrs Elizabeth Brown. He exclaimed “is that allowed?” as if women driving instructors/ examiners didn’t exist. I also learnt to ride a bike despite it being “too dangerous.” Same for swimming—neither my mum or sister dared but I just snuck off. Learned at school & represented the school at swimming.

#7

Image source: chikenjoe17, Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo) How to self-motivate, I'm 32 and have no clue how to force myself to do something. Go to the gym, study, do laundry, make a Dr. appointment, even shower sometimes. This might be my ADHD/depression/anxiety but I see other people teaching themselves how to code, going to the gym regularly, eating healthy etc.

#8

Image source: blameitonmyADDbaby, Alexander Grey / unsplash (not the actual photo) All of adulthood is paying for things. Everything, all the time, everyday. Forever.

#9

Image source: _say_grace_, Faruk Tokluoğlu / unsplash (not the actual photo) I guess it's not a life skill pe say but it's more the horrible stark realisation that as a woman 'they' (corporate entities) want you to remain insecure about your weight/appearance etc so you will spend more money on diets/gym/make up/skin care etc. And as a kid I thought that insecurity would go away with age but my mum whose now 70 and is the thinnest that she's ever been, is STILL going on about her weight/appearance, as is my grandmother at 93, and I just find it utterly tragic that it just never goes away.

#10

Image source: Autumnanox, Meg Aghamyan / unsplash (not the actual photo) That you’re not at the mercy of your feelings. I used to get depressed and just lean into it, because I believed that sadness was the truth. No one ever told me that not only did I not have to feel that way, that there were things I could do to fight it (behavioral activation), but that staying sad not only hurt me, it also hurt the people I care about.

#11

That things get better when you start doing all the hard s**t consistently until eventually it becomes second nature. Also motivation doesn't happen on its own, you have to push yourself each and every day to take the necessary actions to succeed. Image source: LowkeyOG89

#12

Image source: CrochetNerd_, Meg Aghamyan / unsplash (not the actual photo) That the game is rigged. Literally based on where you are born and who you are born to will determine your life trajectory so much more than how hard you work. We're sold the lie that "work hard, do well" will get us where we want to be. The reality is that unless you're born well off or get extremely lucky, life will be unfairly difficult and you'll likely never get what you actually deserve.

#13

Image source: mbkeough, Kateryna Hliznitsova / unsplash (not the actual photo) Emptying the dryer lint. First time I moved out at 22, noticed that over the first few months my dryer would take longer and longer to dry my clothes. Mentioned it to my mother and she asked if I had been clearing the lint. It was a brick of lint, like a geological survey of all the loads that contributed to it. It’s a good thing I never burnt my apartment down.

#14

Image source: Beautiful_Growth1787, Karolina Grabowska / unsplash (not the actual photo) Cleaning and how often you're supposed to clean certain things.

#15

I tell you what, sometime between my parents and my generation, we lost knot-tying. My father in law has a repertoire of like a dozen or more knots he can use for different situations and I’m just looping and pulling nearly randomly. Image source: Mr_Mojo_Risin_83

#16

My parents taught me everything from sewing to home-maintenance and small engine repairs. This is pretty common I where I grew up. Here in Ottawa/Canada people seem to think I’m freaking McGuyver. Image source: Decent_Can_4639

#17

How to eat like a normal person. my eating disorder started when i was like 8 and now i just have no idea how to eat a normal amount of food and talk about food normally. i hear the phrase "eat when you're hungry and stop eating when you're full" but like. how do you know when you're hungry and full? if it's some innate sense i lost it long ago. Image source: some-dork

#18

Image source: aetuf, Josue Michel / unsplash (not the actual photo) All the nuances of home maintenance. Thankfully, I've found some good resources for this but I'm 10 years into home ownership and still finding new things to do better.

#19

Image source: Shahfluffers, Annie Spratt / unsplash (not the actual photo) Networking. How was I supposed to know that I need to keep in contact with everyone I have ever worked with on the off chance that they can get me in the door for job openings? No one told me this.

#20

Image source: Smithy_T, Flow Clark / unsplash (not the actual photo) I was always told to wear plastic bags on your feet when you run in the snow to keep your feet warm and dry. However, no one told me they actually go on your feet. UNDER your shoes. First time I took this advice I layered two plastic bags around my running shoes and tied them around my ankles, and was very confused why the bags kept ripping and I was slipping all over. Some old man passed me up and said “honey I think those go on your feet, not your shoes.”.

#21

Useless knowledge. I know alittle bit about alot of things. I know all manner of facts that in no way actually help me in any sort of daily life situation. Image source: evil_chumlee

#22

Image source: a_bowl_of_cinnamon, Kelly Sikkema / unsplash (not the actual photo) I missed the boat on playing around with makeup while it was socially acceptable to be terrible at it. At 23, I interviewed for a clerical position that wouldn't have any customer-facing tasks. At the end of the 30min interview, the woman rejected me. I asked if there was anything I could work on to make myself a more appealing applicant, and she said, "You have everything we're looking for, but if you can't even give us the benefit of blush, what can we really expect from your performance? A girl your age should know better." That night, I cried to my boyfriend about how belittled I felt and spiraled over how many other opportunities I missed because I never felt the need to learn how to do makeup. I spent the next several days binge watching YouTube tutorials and product reviews, trying to build a skill I never knew I needed. I figured that even if I only ever used it in job interviews, at least I'd have the skill in my back pocket. My boyfriend picked up extra shifts to buy me my first set of products and brushes, but reminded me the whole way through that he loved my face no matter what some dumb old b***h in a blazer said. I got fairly good at doing my own face, and it really did make a difference in how professionals treated me as a young woman in the workforce. 10 years later, it's crazy to think about how a single bad interview has cost me thousands in makeup but brought me hours of fun. I'm addicted to lipstick and rarely go out without it. Hell, I put it on to do my dishes.

#23

Image source: lock11111, Ave Calvar / unsplash (not the actual photo) I noticed alot of people are afraid to speak out when they see something wrong. Like they hope someone else will deal with it.

#24

Image source: Reptar1988, Laura Chouette / unsplash (not the actual photo) How to motivate myself in the mornings. And this was always a problem for me, and was always written off as being lazy or a hard sleeper. When in reality, my ADHD brain would light up at night and I'd find it hard to go to bed early, fall asleep quickly, stay asleep. My deepest sleep hours are from 4-8, I'm zonked. In college, it was often impossible to get me to class for an 8:30 class. My pathetic morning brain knew by having to teach myself the info later from other people's notes id learn it better than if I got to class late, dozed through it, had issues for the rest of the day... But I was told I'm lazy when really my brain was different than my mother and roommates idea of motivation and habit setting.

#25

Image source: Chinese92, Ave Calvar / unsplash (not the actual photo) My personal list of skills I picked up after I left home: social dancing public speaking socializing in a work environment budgeting basic understanding of laws and taxes work with difficult people going out alone do whatever you want.