25 Subtle And Not So Subtle Signs That Scream Someone Is Insecure

It’s easy to fake self-confidence but there are some telling signs which reveal the truth nevertheless. People suffering from insecurities tend to focus their attention on it thereby drawing others attention to it as well. If it’s on a person’s mind, they think others notice it as well and try to cover up by bluffing that they are okay with the situation or reacting in bizarre ways, indicating all is not as it seems.  Recently, a Reddit discussion delved into the topic when someone asked, “What screams, “I’m Insecure”?” Redditors responded with their observations of red flags displayed by someone with low self-esteem. We’ve gathered a few of the most thought-provoking common behavioural traits suggested and shared them in the gallery below. 

#1

Image source: FryFry__ChickyChick, Generated Image / Boredpanda The dude I saw on the interstate driving a big truck with humongous letters on the back window spelling “I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND”. blyyyyat: That might be less insecurity and more crazy possessive girlfriend but it’s hard to tell. Dyrreah: I saw the opposite on a truck race once. Guy had a humongous unicorn plushie behind the windshield and a nameplate saying Little Sanyi(hungarian name) while he was a massive mountain of a man. If that's not confidence, I don't know what is.

#2

Image source: anon, A. C. / Unsplash Fishing for compliments. Nothing annoys me more. NachosmitKaeseDip: Omg this remembers me of the girls in art class who know their painting is good: "OMG my painting is soo baaad" Other girl:"Nooo youre so goooood" - "Reallyyy? thank youuuu awww" u_sagi: I used to have a bad habit of making self deprecating jokes but I never wanted compliments in response because they often make me feel uncomfortable. Strange times.

#3

Image source: anon, A. C. / Unsplash Posting Facebook quiz results that say how smart, mature, beautiful, or amazing you are in whatever way. It's especially telling is someone has a bad habit (like being terrible at housekeeping/messy) and posts a quiz result saying how this trait makes them better than other people (usually, "more creative"). Maximum_Burnination: Before Facebook I had no idea how many friends I have that are rocking 150+ IQ's. Like damn girl you failed Advanced Algebra twice in highschool but here you are making Einstein look pants-on-head stupid. Go you. Usagi-Nezumi: I remember a fake quiz on facebook that would report high IQs, but if you shared it, it showed crayon-eating levels of intelligence to everyone.

#4

Image source: oskiwiiwii, Amie Roussel / Unsplash Inability to admit you're wrong. Being a sore loser. vtjsaunders: I consider one of my strengths to be admitting when I’m wrong. But I’m also a sore loser. I’m not insecure I just love the taste of victory. RelevantSignFeld: I was thinking this exact thing when I first read OPs comment lol. I was like "i'm definitely insecure about many things, but I just hate losing when I know I could've won". I've definitely gotten better at it tho. Not a good trait.

#5

People who feel the need to decide whether others are "true" members of their group/fandom/whatever based on *their* standards alone. "If you haven't read the manga, you're not a true [insert anime here] fan!" "If you can't name more than 5 albums of [insert band here] or recite all the members' blood types, you're not a *real* fan." "If you don't speak perfect Tagalog, know how to cook adobo blindfolded, or memorize the length of Manny Pacquiao's d**k down to the millimeter, you're not a *true* Filipino." They act like that group/fandom is all they have going for them, so they'll fight tooth and nail to avoid getting knocked down a peg. Image source: PutYaGunsOn

#6

Image source: PHIL-yes-PLZ, Curated Lifestyle / Unsplash Telling obvious lies on any social media platforms. tallulahblue: Along with the obvious lies my insecure sister also enjoys talking about overcoming insecurity on Facebook. "I was always too insecure to wear a bikini but I think it's important to show how far I've come" or "I realised I need to allow myself to be vulnerable and show how far I've come with my singing." She is trying to show she has overcome certain insecurities but her need to post that s**t constantly shows she still relies on compliments for her self esteem. Anon: Like the guy who moved to the West Coast and constantly has to post about his life and how awesome it is. It looks really fun I have to admit. But sitting around with some friends and he was brought up in discussion. One guy goes: “F**k him. He grabbed photos I took of my San Francisco vacation and put them up on Facebook talking about his work trip.” The guy whose pictures they were messaged him asking what the hell, and the phony basically said that he did visit there but he forgot to take pictures so he used his pictures cuz he liked them.... uhhhh, who the f**k does that?

#7

Image source: poison_ivy15, Getty Images / Unsplash Daily "I love my husband/wife" FB posts about how great their spouse is. And writing on their FB wall conversations you would probably have at home, in person... shmrcksean: A good friend of mine does this. Literally posts on FB at 10 pm from the couch that he misses his wife so much and can’t wait to be in bed with her while she’s in the bedroom on the second story above him. But then we are at work together he tells me how badly he wants to divorce her but can’t afford it.

#8

Image source: dick-nipples, Ahmet Kurt / Unsplash Acting like you’re soooo much busier than everyone else. I have a coworker who pretends to talk on the phone with people, always emails everybody at 10:00 pm to make it look like he’s “working late”, constantly complains about how much is on his plate, etc. He feels the need to constantly be validating his worth to everyone. Kiausican: We've got a guy like that at work, constantly telling everyone every meeting about pulling 20 hour days, managing director looked him in the eye & told him in front of everyone that perhaps he needs to work on his time management skills if everyone else can get their similar or bigger workloads done in a reasonable time & have a life. I & a few others couldn't help but laugh out loud. Wind_Yer_Neck_In: I have a colleague who does the same very specialised job as me at work. He's constantly talking about pulling all nighters and working 16 hour days for weeks. He mentions it in every conversation, with a sort of 'hail corporate' vibe. We do the same thing (we split the same pot of work), I work hard, get my stuff done then pretty much cruise doing emails until its time to log out (WFH). I don't think he realises that constantly working overtime to finish a standard workload only garners praise from management if they can't see other people not struggling with the same workload.

#9

Image source: Dylinquency, Strvnge Films / Unsplash Constantly talking about how much money they make. username2256: I have an old high school friend who called me up out of the blue after about 5yrs of not speaking after I moved away and he was bragging about how he got this sweet new job and is making $75k/yr. Then he called me about 6months later (yesterday); this time it seemed like he was actually interested in how I was doing. But then he mentioned twice that he's making $75k and loves his job, and that I should apply. I said ok well send the link to apply when we get off the phone. No link sent or any text at all. At least I remembered to point out "you moved to a really expensive part of the country, $75k isn't really that much at all." I think I'm just going to block his number. redspeckled: Enh, I'm on the fence about this one. It's weird talking about salary because we've said it's weird, and we attribute a personal value to it. But really, we should be chatting about salary to determine what the market value is for your position (yes, depending on region, or skill, or whatever). It's healthy to discuss money. It's not healthy to attribute your entire worth as a human to your paycheque or your bank account value.

#10

Image source: srrlh, Getty Images / Unsplash Not being able to see that disagreeing with what they say doesn't mean that you have an issue with them. Tabby_Road: I get this is is true for most people. However I work with a girl who has to disagree with everything I say, even when I'm not directly talking to her she will pipe up and try to contradict or disagree. Ive got a good memory so once I tested it with one of her own previous statements, and yup disagreed with that too! Deffo has an issue with me. Clenched-Jaw: I was in a design build competition recently with a group of students through my university and it was one of the most challenging things I’ve ever put myself through. We only had 10 hours to complete the entire project and then present it to a panel of judges. It was even more challenging due to a girl on our team who disagreed with every single thing I said. It was absolutely infuriating. I honestly do not take disagreements personal (especially with studying to be a designer, you just have to get over it bc not everyone likes what you like) but it was like next level disagreement. I swear the girl’s favorite word was “no”. I would say an idea or a solution and she would disagree with it. Then another team member would say the exact same thing some time later and she would agree. I about lost my mind that day. But damn that competition was amazing. I’m doing it again next year with that same girl. Idc that she’s on it again, I’ll find a way to make it work with her.

#11

Image source: beckybarbaric, Gabriel Ponton / Unsplash When someone tells their partner about all the people who hit on them, or worse, "I didn't cheat, even though I could have." Datsyuk_My_Deke: This may be usually true, but I think the exception is if it's mutually accepted. My wife and I always talk about who flirts with us. It's getting more rare as we age, but we're both secure enough in our relationship to get a kick out of each other's stories. thedarklorddecending: Alternatively, my boyfriend and I like to go through the creepy instagram and twitter direct messages I get.

#12

Image source: dieterschaumer, Thomas Franke / Unsplash Caring about your manliness. Or being obsessed with "manly things". I was always taught that being a "man" was about taking care of the things you were supposed to take care of, being a gentleman (respectful and fair to all people), and beyond that... f**k all. Go ahead and wear a tutu or collect tiny anime figurines if you've got the first two down pat. But the amount of utterly pathetic pride I see in being able to drink liquor or grow a beard even as something as f*****g mundane as driving a stick shift just screams "please validate my fragile ego". Its fine to like whatever you like but if you take pride in something like that you need some real accomplishments. Go volunteer, be a mentor, heck just be a better person. If you define yourself merely by the things you like rather than the things you believe in or are responsible for, you're not an adult, to say anything of being a man. KerberusIV: When I was tasting some of the different whiskeys my buddy had I asked him what the best way to drink them are. Straight, with ice, watered down slightly, basically what is the best way or what is considered the manly way? He looks at me and asks me a question, "Do you know how a 'man' takes his drink?... Any damn way he wants." So I got mine with ice, because that is how I like my scotch.

#13

Websites served only over http, not https. Image source: causal_friday

#14

Image source: hej__alle, jaikishan patel / Unsplash Pointing out someone's flaws as a "joke" or a way to look cool. Somedudethatisbored: I think that's a defense mechanism. If you do it to yourself first, no one else can do it to you. In a sense, I guess you own your own weaknesses, but most likely, you're the only one who really notices them. Anon: Realized that the only time its a good joke when it's your own flaws or said flaws of someone are actually detrimential to the someone, it should picked up as a hint to strive to improve yourself. Force3vo: Joking, especially in a public environment, about flaws that might torment the person already, is never a good joke if you don't know the person well. Sure you might be right that the person would be better of changing that flaw but you don't know if they already tried and can't. Either you have a deep trust base and can joke about stuff like that or you don't and you are probably sticking your finger in a wound in front of people that laugh about it on someone else's account.

#15

Image source: p1um5mu991er, fxquadro / Freepik Intentionally loud vehicles. Caiur: When I'm out walking and one of those cars goes by and the driver revs his engine obnoxiously loud, I always try to look in the opposite direction. I know it's a pretty insignificant gesture and he probably didn't even see, but he obviously wants to get people's attention and I don't want to flatter his ego by turning my head to look. LapisRS: To be fair, a lot of legitimate performance can be gained from a less restrictive exhaust, but it will be louder. Fart cans are stupid tho.

#16

Image source: Pink_Flash, Jayson Hinrichsen / Unsplash "Look at my new socks guys!" *top down shot with 80% cleavage*. BeeAreNumberOne: In my experience, those posts are 95% insecure women, 5% women who really like showing off their breasts, for literally no other reason than that they can.

#17

Image source: pm_me_ur_pudendum, Getty Images / Unsplash Referring to yourself as "alpha". BadMinotaur: There was a guy having an argument on one of my statuses on Facebook, and he bowed out by calling himself an alpha and the rest of us beta males (and unfriending us). Me and my friends talked about it later and couldn't believe he said it seriously-- we didn't know it was a real thing people did. kokainakokaina: This is so popular in my hometown, idiots just acting full on obnoxious - especially if a woman is around. I cant stand people who constantly try to dominate the conversation and prove to everyone that theyre better and constantly one-upping. I guess im just such a beta. Trissan: Ugh my roommate does this. Constantly calls himself the Alpha Male in a house of three guys and one girl. All he does all day is watch tv in his room and post pictures of quotes to facebook. Alpha my a*s.

#18

Image source: SheWhoLovesToDraw, Andrej Lišakov / Unsplash Being a grown-a*s adult yelling at the teenage cashiers/retail associates over the most minor of inconveniences and errors. Bonus points when they scream "When I was your age..." proving that they're insecure about their current age or simply jealous of other people still being youthful. Red517: My mom worked at JC penny a few years back and some lady was screaming at the young cashier my mom worked with. It was something so stupid and the young cashier finally told her to f**k off. The lady then threw her hot coffee in the cashiers face!! My mom called the cops right away and the lady was charged with assault of a minor. The cashier was only 17. danzibara: This totally reminds me of a time when I was working the cash register in the McDonald’s drive thru a long time ago. At some point in the day, I accidentally tossed a nickel (five cent coin) into the quarter (25 cent coin) section of the cash drawer. When I gave a guy change, I grabbed a nickel instead of a quarter, which shorted this guy 20 cents. This started his long diatribe about how useless I was because I can’t even do basic arithmetic. I just had to stand there and listen to him because mouthing off to a customer meant that I could have been fired from my $5.50 per hour shitty job. Part of me wishes that everyone was forced to have a job where dumba*s customers treat them like s**t so they will treat future service workers decently. The great paradox is that if everyone did that, then there would no longer be sh**ty customers, so some employees would not be exposed to that, and they might just become shitty customers.

#19

Overly aggressive/vulgar bumper stickers on the back of your lifted/chromed out truck. Image source: despecific

#20

Image source: pringerx, Getty Images / Unsplash People who post super vague b****y statuses on Facebook instead of dealing with their problems. It usually just makes the people who care about you wonder if you're talking about them and the people who you mean it towards don't care anyways. kerpti: What I had happen a lot when I used to use FB was: "OH MY GOD. WORST DAY EVER!" "You ok?" "What happened?" "Oh no!" "Is there anything you need help with?" "What happened, is everything alright?" etc., etc., with never a response from OP

#21

Image source: RoastyTheToastyGhost, Vladimir Kudinov / Unsplash They're extremely clingy with their SO. Like always by their side holding on to them and never leaving them alone. They also have a personal vendetta against any of their SO's friends they think *might* be competition. antonbetong: I'm not this extreme, but I love being close to her, not because im afraid, but because I actually like her, never would i ever "ban" a friend of hers.

#22

Image source: anon, Getty Images / Unsplash When somebody speaks loudly over everyone else, as if their voices are more important rather than contributing to the conversation in a normal way EDIT: for the 400 people asking, there's a massive difference between "having a loud voice by nature" and "actively trying to butt your opinion into a conversation, noisily". openupmyheartagain: That and constantly cutting you off to do it. Like they didn't listen to s**t you said because they're too busy thinking about what they're going to say and it's so important that they have to cut you off to be the center of attention. Had an ex that used to do this.. Me: "I'm tired because-". Him: "You don't even KNOW tired! I work two jobs blah blah blah." Yup not only was he a talk overer, he was also a cut offer and a one upper. They'll never find the body.

#23

Image source: Mahhrat, Getty Images / Unsplash Oneupmanship. If I have three new things, you just picked up four new things. Like..what, it's a f*****g competition? P**s off.

#24

Haters who think they're cool because they dont like the "mainstream", and spend all their time putting down other who do. "Oh, Susan likes *insert reality show*? She's obviously a brainless follower who's too dumb to appreciate *real* entertainment. Ugh, I hate basic people like that; she should be more like me, just last night I finished reading my favorite book, it's written in the ink of a now-extinct octopus and blah blah blah..." Like, quit sucking your own d**k and let people like what they like. Image source: anon

#25

Image source: kraliz, Ahmed / Unsplash People that can't be single for any amount of time. The type that get out of a serious relationship after 10+ years and are dating someone else within weeks... or days. Those are the types of people that advertise just how insecure they are about themselves. Edit: Just to clarify I'm not saying everyone that does this is insecure. That's just what I see. A good friend of mine has either been in a relationship or activley seeking one since I first met him when we were kids. If he goes more than a week without having the title of boyfriend he becomes severely depressed and thinks that his life is over. He is very insecure about himself and is one of the only people that I know personally who always has to be with someone. So now I associate this behavior with insecurity. Obviously it doesn't apply to everyone! Anon: I've been single for about a year after five and a half years. While I wish I had someone I could talk to about all the crazy shit in my head, the random thoughts and scenarios I run through my head pretty much non-stop again, it's pretty nice not having to check my plans with anyone. I do miss having someone sleeping by me during some (rare) rough nights, but overall it's pretty cool.