25 People Speak On The Challenges Of Marrying Young
Some worked well, some fell apart.
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Love knows no age, but what happens when youth takes a plunge into marriage? Redditors who tied the knot early have been sharing their experiences, a decade or more later, offering a poignant glimpse into the diverse trajectories of relationships that began in the bloom of youth.
From heartwarming tales of enduring love to heartbreaking revelations of the challenges faced, these narratives paint a rich tapestry of matrimony embarked upon in the early chapters of life.
Image source: twentythirtyone, Vera Arsic / Pexels
I had turned 20 less than a week before and he'd just turned 19. We stayed married for 5 miserable years and 2 kids before I asked for a divorce. And it truly was misery the entire time.
We've now been divorced for over 10 years and there's an ocean between us and we have a great sibling-like relationship lol.
Image source: _sp00ky_, J carter / Pexels
Together since we were 15/14…. Married at 23/22 … just turned (turning) 50. Still in love, and happy.
All marriages have their tough times, our is no exception but we always made the effort to work through it, rather than running.
Could be also because both of us come from divorce and didn’t want that for us or our kids.
Image source: eff_the_rest, Leah Newhouse / Pexels
I was 19, he was 20. I was four months pregnant. We were planning on getting married when we found out I was pregnant. People made bets we wouldn’t last 5 years. Then 10 years. We just celebrated 40 years. FORTY YEARS. My oldest brother has died, my two oldest sisters and younger brother are divorced. My next older sister literally hates me and punishes me, throwing my pregnancy and “sex before marriage” in my face…still, 40 years later. I don’t take it personally because I know her bitter-twice divorced a*s just can’t handle we’ve done well and she is still struggling. I’m not saying we haven’t seen a lot of ups and downs in 40 years, because we have seen a LOT of s**t. 40 years is a long time. There’s been a LOT of s**t, a LOT of great stuff, a LOT of s**t, a lot of laughs, a lot of boring times. Two kids and three grandkids later. Lots of jobs, vacations, trips. Fights, arguments, joy, sex, dry spells, love, lots of love, nights on the couch, nights away, nights intertwined. We’ve been through practically everything together. Loves and losses. And here we are….STILL. Are we still “in-love” with each other? I don’t know. Some days yes, some days no. Sometimes we can’t stand each other. But here we are. Forty f**king years. Yeah, f**king, not as much f**king, but still, here we are. Mostly because of our sense of humor. And really, who wants to do jail time.
Image source: froglover215, LOGAN WEAVER | @LGNWVR / Pexels
Married 30 years. Still happy. Life changes and gives you different challenges and it's great to have a real partner to meet them with you.
I just noticed that he's getting a little silver in his hair and I thought, what a privilege that I'm still here with him to see it. Maybe that's stupid but that's how I feel.
Image source: EvolvedPrick, Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels
We've been best friends since high school. We met when I was 14 and he was 16. We dated when I was 18 and got married when I was 22. I am now 32 and he's 34, and four kids later, I forget we aren't teenagers anymore. We crawled out of poverty; broke away from our highly abusive, narcissistic, and racist families (we are a biracial couple) together; and broke generational curses with zero support systems. For better or worse...I always look forward to better with him, especially when it looks like every odd is stacked against us. One day we will get that vacation, baby. We just gotta hold on a little longer, and we will be laughing all the way to the bank, the same way we laughed together in the cardboard box!
Image source: marmot1101, Candice Picard / Unsplash
Married at 23, over 20 years later the kids are grown, we're still together and happy. Kids have actually thanked us at different points for still being together because their friends always had f****d up family situations and we didn't.
It's not always easy. If you start from a place of "we said for as long as we live, and we mean it" solving marital arguments/problems promptly, fairly, and lovingly becomes the most important thing in life.
Image source: pink_camo77, Eric Ward / Unsplash
Married at 23 and divorced by 27. He wanted to move back to his hometown. I fought it kicking and screaming. I was basically told to go or kick rocks. I went. I fell into a deep, dark depression from the lack of support from my husband and his family. I went home and filed for divorce. He had a new girl moved in before I could even file. That was 10 years ago. Took a lot of time for myself, then I finally met the man of my dreams. We got married a year ago and have one child together. My ex-husband is now in the sex offender registry. No idea why.
Image source: chili555, Alena Darmel / Pexels
Married at 22. I was too immature to make such a decision. I woke up one morning and looked at my sleeping wife and said, to myself, who is this person and how and why am I even here?
We divorced and I'm happily remarried.
Image source: dreco214, Becca Tapert / Unsplash
Been with my wife since high school. 16 yrs later, 2 miscarriages, 1 child(7) later and this woman greets me at the door when I come home. We still just sit around laughing about any and everything, we understand we are a couple but we are individuals so we don’t take away from each others hobbies but instead celebrate them and grow them—I buy her crochet things and she gets me gaming stuff. I work and she stays home but she only wants to stay home until our kid is more capable of being alone cause she just misses it. We’ve won big and we’ve lost big together. During Covid we lost our house and all are things, I went into a deep depression and she talked me OUT OF WORKING and encouraged me to stay home and it took me awhile to adjust but I stayed home for a couple of YEARS and all she did was love me more. Our role switch was dope, I kept the house together, her clothes and our daughter’s clothes. I missed the first years of my daughters life so when Covid happened and I started to stay home it seemed like a reward cause I was able to build even further my relationship with my little girl. We are nowhere near where we want to be, it’s hard to go back when you’ve reached the proverbial “top” and lose it all but now we’re in a familiar city and we’re rebuilding—-together. More than anything I’m glad I didn’t let depression win, she’s been worth every bit of this life and thankfully I’ve been able to reciprocate….now for the adult part—man we been at it since we were kids and I’m telling she still get into a whole a*s waterfall and I’m still getting up on demand. In spite of everything we’ve gone thru in our life, we still love each other mentally and physically. It’s going freakin great.
Image source: Bebinn, AllGo - An App For Plus Size People / Unsplash
Married at 19. Still together after 34 years. Not gonna say it's a perfect partnership but we both roll with the changes. Started out with him working and me at home with our son. Now I'm working full time and he's the househusband. Tell you the truth, he's better at it than I was.
Image source: california_peach0305
Married at 20. We celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary next year. Traveled, bought a home, and thoroughly enjoyed each other for 7 years before having a child. I think sometimes people get really caught up in the idea of having a wedding and then they immediately have children. Don’t get me wrong, that’s totally great for some people. But my nugget of advice for all newly engaged/married couples is to really enjoy your marriage first. Give it the time it needs to flourish, because if things end up not working out in the end, you can amicably split with no children involved or affected. Just my two cents.
Image source: USPS_Titanic, August de Richelieu / Pexels
Married at 18. Been together 20+ years. Still happily married.
I love the man, he's my rock, we have 3 kids, two with special needs, and instead of pulling us apart, it has brought us closer. We've had a few issues (mostly because we both grew up in conservative homes with traditional gender roles and we had to negotiate that quagmire to get to a healthier place) but for the most part we are super close, he writes me love notes on the bathroom mirror and we spend all our free time together. He's truly my best friend.
BUT when we got married we just "settled down." We live in the same small town, neither of us finished college. We've worked a series of jobs (not a career, just jobs to pay the bills) We don't have much of a social life outside our small friend group (who we rarely see face-to-face). We are happy in our little home but when we became adults, our world never got bigger. We aren't much different than we were as broke teenagers.
We don't go on grand adventures, we don't have fun stores from past vacations/times in our lives. I feel like we skipped out on the whole "adventure" part of being an adult and went straight to the "old, boring, bill paying" middle aged years.
Maybe it would have been different if we didn't have kids right away. Honestly, we had them early thinking that we'd be empty nesters by our mid-40s, but due to life circumstances (specifically my kids special needs, that we could have never planned for-no family history, etc) this is going to be our forever.
Honestly, I think I got lucky in my choice of partner. I was a depressed teen in a bad situation and and I hopped on the first lifeboat out. It was 100% luck that he ended up being such a great guy, because I honestly did not have the best handle on what a healthy relationship was supposed to look like. We were just very, very lucky.
Image source: BustAMove_13, SHVETS production / Pexels
Got hitched at 21, and it lasted for four years. As soon as the ink was dry on the marriage license, the real abuse began. We separated for six months before filing, and while waiting for our court date, I met someone new. My ex was already seeing someone (whom he cheated with), so I didn't feel bad dating. That 'someone new' is watching TV in the living room right now. We'll celebrate 24 years of marriage in May. He's a peach, and I'm a very lucky woman to have him.
Image source: DrGoManGo, cottonbro studio / Pexels
Married at 25 divorcing at 47. Communication is key. Try to argue a little too, we never did.
Image source: adjblair, Tan Danh / Pexels
I married my high school sweetheart when I was 23 and he was 25 after we'd dated for nine years. We just celebrated our 10-year wedding anniversary and are expecting our first kiddo in a couple of months. We started seeing each other when we were young, and we sort of shaped each other's personality. We are still independent people and definitely have our own likes/dislikes/hobbies/etc., but we do share a lot of interests, and there is an inherent comfort and understanding between us, since we have now been together for over half of our lives.
Image source: trancedf, Jonathan Borba / Pexels
We met and started dating in 8th grade at 14, married at 23, and will be celebrating our 16 year anniversary this year. When you find the right person to make a team with, it’s easy to wake up every day and look forward to life with her!.
Image source: Bmonroet, Vika Glitter / Pexels
We were in the same dorm and met her first day of college. Instant connection. Started dating officially like 3 days later. Married at 22 and 21 respectively. 14 years later we have three kids including newborn twins. Life is as good as can be.
Image source: DadsRGR8, Nathan Dumlao / Unsplash
Both under 25. Marriage lasted a year and a month. Too young, too poor, too idealistic. We both went on to happy and successful long term second marriages. My wife and I were married for 38 years.
Image source: puppylove1212, Steshka Willems / Pexels
Married at 19, still married to the same guy at 63. For all of the ups and downs of our marriage there is still great love there BUT I do wish that I had experienced a more independent, adult life, since I never went to college and I also went directly from my parents’ house to my married house.
Also, in 1980 if was so much more the norm to get married rather than live together, so there was that pressure too, to get married before settling down.
Image source: Mousewaterdrinker, Emma Bauso / Pexels
Not only did I marry young, I married my first boyfriend and he was long distance for 3 years before we even physically met. He's from Kazakhstan and I'm American. We are still happily married and we're going back to Kazakhstan to visit his family soon. He stayed by my side through my cancer treatments and he's been incredibly kind to me.
#1
Image source: twentythirtyone, Vera Arsic / Pexels
I had turned 20 less than a week before and he'd just turned 19. We stayed married for 5 miserable years and 2 kids before I asked for a divorce. And it truly was misery the entire time.
We've now been divorced for over 10 years and there's an ocean between us and we have a great sibling-like relationship lol.
#2
Image source: _sp00ky_, J carter / Pexels
Together since we were 15/14…. Married at 23/22 … just turned (turning) 50. Still in love, and happy.
All marriages have their tough times, our is no exception but we always made the effort to work through it, rather than running.
Could be also because both of us come from divorce and didn’t want that for us or our kids.
#3
Image source: eff_the_rest, Leah Newhouse / Pexels
I was 19, he was 20. I was four months pregnant. We were planning on getting married when we found out I was pregnant. People made bets we wouldn’t last 5 years. Then 10 years. We just celebrated 40 years. FORTY YEARS. My oldest brother has died, my two oldest sisters and younger brother are divorced. My next older sister literally hates me and punishes me, throwing my pregnancy and “sex before marriage” in my face…still, 40 years later. I don’t take it personally because I know her bitter-twice divorced a*s just can’t handle we’ve done well and she is still struggling. I’m not saying we haven’t seen a lot of ups and downs in 40 years, because we have seen a LOT of s**t. 40 years is a long time. There’s been a LOT of s**t, a LOT of great stuff, a LOT of s**t, a lot of laughs, a lot of boring times. Two kids and three grandkids later. Lots of jobs, vacations, trips. Fights, arguments, joy, sex, dry spells, love, lots of love, nights on the couch, nights away, nights intertwined. We’ve been through practically everything together. Loves and losses. And here we are….STILL. Are we still “in-love” with each other? I don’t know. Some days yes, some days no. Sometimes we can’t stand each other. But here we are. Forty f**king years. Yeah, f**king, not as much f**king, but still, here we are. Mostly because of our sense of humor. And really, who wants to do jail time.
#4
Image source: froglover215, LOGAN WEAVER | @LGNWVR / Pexels
Married 30 years. Still happy. Life changes and gives you different challenges and it's great to have a real partner to meet them with you.
I just noticed that he's getting a little silver in his hair and I thought, what a privilege that I'm still here with him to see it. Maybe that's stupid but that's how I feel.
#5
Image source: EvolvedPrick, Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels
We've been best friends since high school. We met when I was 14 and he was 16. We dated when I was 18 and got married when I was 22. I am now 32 and he's 34, and four kids later, I forget we aren't teenagers anymore. We crawled out of poverty; broke away from our highly abusive, narcissistic, and racist families (we are a biracial couple) together; and broke generational curses with zero support systems. For better or worse...I always look forward to better with him, especially when it looks like every odd is stacked against us. One day we will get that vacation, baby. We just gotta hold on a little longer, and we will be laughing all the way to the bank, the same way we laughed together in the cardboard box!
#6
Image source: marmot1101, Candice Picard / Unsplash
Married at 23, over 20 years later the kids are grown, we're still together and happy. Kids have actually thanked us at different points for still being together because their friends always had f****d up family situations and we didn't.
It's not always easy. If you start from a place of "we said for as long as we live, and we mean it" solving marital arguments/problems promptly, fairly, and lovingly becomes the most important thing in life.
#7
Image source: pink_camo77, Eric Ward / Unsplash
Married at 23 and divorced by 27. He wanted to move back to his hometown. I fought it kicking and screaming. I was basically told to go or kick rocks. I went. I fell into a deep, dark depression from the lack of support from my husband and his family. I went home and filed for divorce. He had a new girl moved in before I could even file. That was 10 years ago. Took a lot of time for myself, then I finally met the man of my dreams. We got married a year ago and have one child together. My ex-husband is now in the sex offender registry. No idea why.
#8
Image source: chili555, Alena Darmel / Pexels
Married at 22. I was too immature to make such a decision. I woke up one morning and looked at my sleeping wife and said, to myself, who is this person and how and why am I even here?
We divorced and I'm happily remarried.
#9
Image source: dreco214, Becca Tapert / Unsplash
Been with my wife since high school. 16 yrs later, 2 miscarriages, 1 child(7) later and this woman greets me at the door when I come home. We still just sit around laughing about any and everything, we understand we are a couple but we are individuals so we don’t take away from each others hobbies but instead celebrate them and grow them—I buy her crochet things and she gets me gaming stuff. I work and she stays home but she only wants to stay home until our kid is more capable of being alone cause she just misses it. We’ve won big and we’ve lost big together. During Covid we lost our house and all are things, I went into a deep depression and she talked me OUT OF WORKING and encouraged me to stay home and it took me awhile to adjust but I stayed home for a couple of YEARS and all she did was love me more. Our role switch was dope, I kept the house together, her clothes and our daughter’s clothes. I missed the first years of my daughters life so when Covid happened and I started to stay home it seemed like a reward cause I was able to build even further my relationship with my little girl. We are nowhere near where we want to be, it’s hard to go back when you’ve reached the proverbial “top” and lose it all but now we’re in a familiar city and we’re rebuilding—-together. More than anything I’m glad I didn’t let depression win, she’s been worth every bit of this life and thankfully I’ve been able to reciprocate….now for the adult part—man we been at it since we were kids and I’m telling she still get into a whole a*s waterfall and I’m still getting up on demand. In spite of everything we’ve gone thru in our life, we still love each other mentally and physically. It’s going freakin great.
#10
Image source: Bebinn, AllGo - An App For Plus Size People / Unsplash
Married at 19. Still together after 34 years. Not gonna say it's a perfect partnership but we both roll with the changes. Started out with him working and me at home with our son. Now I'm working full time and he's the househusband. Tell you the truth, he's better at it than I was.
#11
Image source: california_peach0305
Married at 20. We celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary next year. Traveled, bought a home, and thoroughly enjoyed each other for 7 years before having a child. I think sometimes people get really caught up in the idea of having a wedding and then they immediately have children. Don’t get me wrong, that’s totally great for some people. But my nugget of advice for all newly engaged/married couples is to really enjoy your marriage first. Give it the time it needs to flourish, because if things end up not working out in the end, you can amicably split with no children involved or affected. Just my two cents.
#12
Image source: USPS_Titanic, August de Richelieu / Pexels
Married at 18. Been together 20+ years. Still happily married.
I love the man, he's my rock, we have 3 kids, two with special needs, and instead of pulling us apart, it has brought us closer. We've had a few issues (mostly because we both grew up in conservative homes with traditional gender roles and we had to negotiate that quagmire to get to a healthier place) but for the most part we are super close, he writes me love notes on the bathroom mirror and we spend all our free time together. He's truly my best friend.
BUT when we got married we just "settled down." We live in the same small town, neither of us finished college. We've worked a series of jobs (not a career, just jobs to pay the bills) We don't have much of a social life outside our small friend group (who we rarely see face-to-face). We are happy in our little home but when we became adults, our world never got bigger. We aren't much different than we were as broke teenagers.
We don't go on grand adventures, we don't have fun stores from past vacations/times in our lives. I feel like we skipped out on the whole "adventure" part of being an adult and went straight to the "old, boring, bill paying" middle aged years.
Maybe it would have been different if we didn't have kids right away. Honestly, we had them early thinking that we'd be empty nesters by our mid-40s, but due to life circumstances (specifically my kids special needs, that we could have never planned for-no family history, etc) this is going to be our forever.
Honestly, I think I got lucky in my choice of partner. I was a depressed teen in a bad situation and and I hopped on the first lifeboat out. It was 100% luck that he ended up being such a great guy, because I honestly did not have the best handle on what a healthy relationship was supposed to look like. We were just very, very lucky.
#13
Image source: BustAMove_13, SHVETS production / Pexels
Got hitched at 21, and it lasted for four years. As soon as the ink was dry on the marriage license, the real abuse began. We separated for six months before filing, and while waiting for our court date, I met someone new. My ex was already seeing someone (whom he cheated with), so I didn't feel bad dating. That 'someone new' is watching TV in the living room right now. We'll celebrate 24 years of marriage in May. He's a peach, and I'm a very lucky woman to have him.
#14
I had just turned 24, she was 22. I told her right off that I loved her and was going to marry her and we eloped about a month later. We celebrated our 23rd anniversary in December. We have a son, and are still very in love with each other. I’ve done a lot of dumb things in my life, getting married is the smartest thing I’ve done. Unfortunately she is very sick and will only get worse as time goes on, but I wouldn’t change our time together for anything. I love her and being with her is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Image source: Euryheli#15
Image source: DrGoManGo, cottonbro studio / Pexels
Married at 25 divorcing at 47. Communication is key. Try to argue a little too, we never did.
#16
Image source: adjblair, Tan Danh / Pexels
I married my high school sweetheart when I was 23 and he was 25 after we'd dated for nine years. We just celebrated our 10-year wedding anniversary and are expecting our first kiddo in a couple of months. We started seeing each other when we were young, and we sort of shaped each other's personality. We are still independent people and definitely have our own likes/dislikes/hobbies/etc., but we do share a lot of interests, and there is an inherent comfort and understanding between us, since we have now been together for over half of our lives.
#17
Image source: trancedf, Jonathan Borba / Pexels
We met and started dating in 8th grade at 14, married at 23, and will be celebrating our 16 year anniversary this year. When you find the right person to make a team with, it’s easy to wake up every day and look forward to life with her!.
#18
Image source: Bmonroet, Vika Glitter / Pexels
We were in the same dorm and met her first day of college. Instant connection. Started dating officially like 3 days later. Married at 22 and 21 respectively. 14 years later we have three kids including newborn twins. Life is as good as can be.
#19
Image source: DadsRGR8, Nathan Dumlao / Unsplash
Both under 25. Marriage lasted a year and a month. Too young, too poor, too idealistic. We both went on to happy and successful long term second marriages. My wife and I were married for 38 years.
#20
Image source: puppylove1212, Steshka Willems / Pexels
Married at 19, still married to the same guy at 63. For all of the ups and downs of our marriage there is still great love there BUT I do wish that I had experienced a more independent, adult life, since I never went to college and I also went directly from my parents’ house to my married house.
Also, in 1980 if was so much more the norm to get married rather than live together, so there was that pressure too, to get married before settling down.
#21
Image source: Mousewaterdrinker, Emma Bauso / Pexels
Not only did I marry young, I married my first boyfriend and he was long distance for 3 years before we even physically met. He's from Kazakhstan and I'm American. We are still happily married and we're going back to Kazakhstan to visit his family soon. He stayed by my side through my cancer treatments and he's been incredibly kind to me.
#22
We were both 25 when my husband and I got married. Had been together since age 18 & 19, had our daughter at 21, and married at 25. It’s going fairly well by all accounts, but not without any problems or things to work through. It helped for us that we already had our daughter, we had already been living together and already had agreed upon financial stuff long before we even talked about marriage. I think the biggest piece of advice or wisdom I have, is find a partner who is willing to let you grow. Someone who sees you in any season of life and wants to be around you. Someone who you in return will let grow, change and see through different seasons of life. There are huge changes that happen after age 25-26 and even more after you turn 30. And if you are with someone who is expecting the same old you, it’s never going to work, no matter what age you were when you got married. Marriage means constantly and actively choosing that person over and over again. Everyday. In every part of your lives together. Image source: jklolxoxo#23
Got married at 23 and became parents at 24. We're now 15 years in, and we’re doing fine. He’s still my best friend and we rarely fight. We started dating at 17 and 18, so it’s not as if it was a short relationship. Honestly, I’m sure part of the reason we’re never going to get divorced is that neither one of us has any desire at all to date again. It sounds terrible. Image source: Less_Tea2063#24
I got married at 18, decided to leave at 19, found out I was pregnant so I stayed, tried to make it work, had another kid at 23 and asked for a divorce at 25. Finalized in 1992. Have not remarried because that one was enough for 10 lifetimes. Image source: gimpy1511#25
I married at 19 & my husband was 21, we just celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary. It's going good, I'd say. There is nothing better than going through life with your best friend by your side. We've raised 2 kids, own a home, 2 dogs and now that the kids are grown we can mess around with our hobbies to our hearts content. I have multiple health issues and he has been my rock throughout the 28 years since my MS diagnosis. It hasn't always been easy, and we do get on each other's nerves now and again, but we always get passed the rough parts. Jealousy and insecurity are things of the past and learning to trust and communicate was difficult from me coming from a childhood filled with DV, and he was up to the challenge and helped me get past a lot of my childhood issues and fears of abandonment. We've supported each other through health problems, job loss, loss of both of his parents, my Grandparents (they raised me after Mom was m*****ed), and both of my younger sisters. Knowing my other half is always there to reach out to at any time is comforting in a way I never expected. I love him more with each passing year. Image source: daeliteDE
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