“Overprotectiveness”: 40 Toxic Things People Romanticize

Romance has been lauded as one of the ultimate experiences in life for decades. Movies, music and the general media love to wax lyrical about anything even slightly romantic. But one Redditor chose to shatter those illusions by asking folks to suggest things that are actually horrible, though people chose to romanticise them. From homeschooling children to fighting for love, scroll to check out some of the most poignant opinions shared in the gallery below. 

#1 Baby gender reveals. Just pretentious status and attention chasing that is unnecessary to be separate and additional to a baby shower.

Image source: c10bbersaurus, Tima Miroshnichenko / pexels

#2 The Kardashians.

Image source: Strange-Catch6862

#3 War.

Image source: sammyasher, Vony Razom / unsplash haver_of_friends: My dad told me when I was younger that if I ever wanted to join the military, he’d make me watch Saving Private Ryan. Well, I never enlisted, so he never made me watch it, but I ended up watching it on my own for the first time last week at 25. Bro, that seen where the German slowly stabs Pvt Mellish in the heart while Upham cries in the stairwell, had to be the most disturbing and emotionally upsetting depiction of war that I’ve seen so far in my life. And to think that people glamorize that lifestyle baffles me.

#4 Criminals of any kind through pop culture.

Image source: anon, Hédi Benyounes / unsplash rawr_Im_a_duck: There’s a whole community of mostly teenage girls who have full on crushes and obsessions with school shooters. Supposedly a lot of them receive “fan mail”.

#5 S*x on the beach. Sand's gets everywhere!!!

ninazo96: I don't like shower sex either. Friction is not fun for the lady bits. Image source: Jumping-shadow

#6 Cruises. Overcrowded pools, long lines everywhere you go, motion sickness, the restroom in my cabin smelled like p**s for some reason, the cabin was so tiny I got claustrophobic, Thalassaphobia of being out in the middle of the ocean where if you fell no one would see you again, ports were usually packed with people trying to scam you because you're a tourist, and to top it all off my son and I were stricken by norovirus and then covid on our last day.

My husband wants to go on another cruise and I told him I'm not coming. Image source: IDONTKNOWPICKLES

#7 Eating Disorders (specifically restrictive ones where a person is thin). Not fun. -100000/10. It’s a mental illness not “self control goals”.

Image source: fluffycooki3_monster, Markus Spiske / pexels

#8 Moving away to a big city. That 2 hour commute to work is not cute and glamorous.

Image source: saintscoob, Denys Nevozhai / unsplash

#9 Traditional-looking religions like Amish and Old-School Mennonites. "Imagine living such a simple life! So family focused. So grounded in community. None of the distractions of modern life. "

Image source: Logical-Pop-458, Chris F / pexels And yeah. There are some benefits. But in reality most of these communities are incredibly controlling. Their members don't know how to live life in the real world, and this is leveraged against them by threatening to expel people from the community if they don't do what is expected. It is especially oppressive for women, who are expected to obey their husbands and their pastors, have lots of kids, and keep their mouths shut. Source - my background is Holdeman Mennonite.

#10 Fighting for someone's love. Nah. No means no, there is no such thing as "hard to get".

Image source: Raigheb, Budgeron Bach / pexels

#11 Constantly being the bigger person to a person who continually disrespects you. It is like slowly drinking poison, it changes your heart for the worse.

Image source: Purple_Love_797, Vitaly Gariev / unsplash plaincoldtofu: Damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Either your soul dies slowly as you try to act as the adult to someone who is emotionally a toddler, or you spend your time punching back like you’re getting bullied on a school yard. It seems best to just get out of the situation once you realize the dynamic.

#12 When a community bands together to help someone out with their medical bills, or workers donate vacation days so a colleague can take time to recover from illness. Nice that they’re doing it, and appalling that they should have to.

Image source: bshaddo, Liza Summer / pexels spudzilla: Even worse are the stories of kids running lemonade stands or mowing lawns to help raise money. Child labor! Yay, America!

#13 **Gender Reveal**

Image source: Fancy_Ask_2767, Blue Bird / pexels **Public Proposal** **Vloggers or anyone filming certain people (especially servers) without asking permission** **Social Experiment** - especially one that requires helping others.

#14 Possessiveness and overprotectiveness. It's restricting, not cute.

Image source: Gloomy_Delay536, Timur Weber / pexels theemmyk: I always thought jealousy from a man would be so romantic until I actually experienced it. It was so unattractive. I guess it's the insecurity that is a turn-off...?

#15 Alcoholism. Every single manly movie whether it be a western, a spy movie, a period piece, etc. always has the protagonist sipping on something strong. Plot armor gives characters incredible tolerance the likes of which should send them begging for a toilet to expel their liquor sh**s or puke. There’s nothing glorious about being an alcoholic.

Image source: HagsSecret

#16 Freaking ADHD/ADD. It takes me twice as long to get something done compared to my peers. From the moment I wake up, I have a song stuck in a loop in my head - alongside like 50 other tabs.

Image source: Beautiful-Tree-91, Ketut Subiyanto / pexels I’ve had crying fits at work due to rejection sensitive dysphoria, or fire alarms going off unexpectedly. My ability to retain information regarding something I’m not genuinely interested in is nigh. I have to remind myself not to bounce, fidget, or get up from my chair every 5-10 minutes. I have to ask people what they’re saying multiple times due to auditory processing. I struggle to see projects through because my brain branches out to other connections or topics. Etc. It can be so hard to manage, especially if you didn’t learn how to work with it before you’re navigating the world alone, as an adult.

#17 Staying in a relationship "for the kids" totally ignoring the trauma those kids deal with seeing a toxic abusive relationship.

Image source: PhariseeHunter46, RDNE Stock project / pexels

#18 “Hustle” culture. The “I work so hard I’m making so much money” but what I see is you have no life and only feel worthy if you have money and material things.

Image source: theamazingloki, SEO Galaxy / unsplash

#19 Any sensationalized mental illness/learning disability. Depression, anxiety, autism, people are getting cute about schizophrenia now. This isn't 'quirk'. It's lifelong.

Image source: ratskips, Claudia Wolff / unsplash

#20 Stalking, “he likes you, isn’t that sweet?” No it’s not. It’s incredibly creepy and terrifying to have someone watch your every move.

Image source: Hinky-punk, Jacky Chiu / unsplash

#21 The alpha male creedo. The only people who enjoy alpha males are other alpha males.

Image source: despenser412

#22 Working a "brag worthy" amount of hours a week, particularly if one is salary. No one is impressed, and perpetuating that as a standard is evil.

Image source: -Dixieflatline, Mohammad Rahmani / unsplash

#23 When a male student gets groomed or R-worded by a female teacher and you get people saying that he's lucky and they wish it happened to them and stuff. I've always found that incredibly disturbing.

Image source: Mayonaise_Best_Sauce

#24 Chronic illness.

Been seeing so many more people on social media thinking they have certain conditions. Like it's almost become trendy to say "oh I think I have Ehlers Danlos and POTS hehee" I don't know why people think just because you are bendy or double jointed, or have one small weird thing wrong.. that you want to join the club of chronic illness. It's not fun, or cute, or trendy. Those of us who do have it struggle. Hard. Are gaslit by doctors. Are sick of feeling broken. Are hurting. And want people to take us seriously but now every time I mention my actual diagnosis' to a medical professional (diagnosed YEARS ago) they ask me "do you think you have this because you saw it on tiktok?" It's frustrating. Image source: xxladymidnight

#25 Homeschooling your children. Children are supposed to mix with other children.

Image source: Apple2727, August de Richelieu / pexels

#26 Joker and Harley Quinn couple. I seen so many people think they were in love and not realizing that it was an abusive relationship.

Image source: SilverWolfIMHP76, Warner Bros. Pictures Prestigious_Kale8839: So much this. If you want a fictional couple to emulate, try Gomez and Morticia.

#27 Living in other eras throughout history (in particular medieval times), people who fantasise about this seem to think they would have been a wealthy lord or a noble knight rescuing hot maidens every week, when in reality 99% chance they would have been a poor, illiterate peasant working 16 hours a day just to feed themselves and their family before dying from diarrhea aged 40.

Image source: Accomplished-Kale-77

#28 I'd say the mob. It's interesting and people talk about the loyalty and "secret society" cool ness of it. But the reality is most of them were a bunch of greedy sociopaths.

Image source: RipAgile1088, HBO Entertainment not_today_mr: The mob and gang life in general. Don't people know how dangerous it is in the first place to them and their friends and family.

#29 Being a woman in the 1950s. It’s been romanticized by the trad wives, but it was a boring existence for too many. Once a month card club was the big highlight.

Image source: MamaLeet, hello aesthe / pexels

#30 Being stuck in the past in the name of custom, ritual and culture.

Image source: Key-Quit-4709

#31 Smoking cigarettes. I’m not hating on anyone who does, i vape myself, but its entirely hypocritical to see people who dont smoke praising/romanticizing celebs like Lana Del Rey for smoking while she’s singing during her concert & then go and berate someone regular for it because all of a sudden it’s gross when they’re not famous or hot. In general, its not a good habit and shouldn’t be romanticized, even with celebrities.

Image source: mearbearcate, Elvert Barnes / flickr

#32 Disney World.

Image source: WrongKielbasa

#33 The "bad boy" trope. There's this tendency for people to glorify dysfunction and romanticise an unhealthy imbalance of impulsiveness, aggression and emotional unavailability. But it's extremely toxic and unsalvageable.

Image source: reigndrops17, Oleg Yeltsov / unsplash

#34 Open Marriage - Most guys want to open their marriage until their wife is getting unlimited offers and he sits at home alone watching porn. The wife never wanted to be open, but then his offer lets the genie out of the bottle and the trick is on him!

Image source: anon, Toa Heftiba / unsplash

#35 Grand public proposals.

Image source: Huge-Income3313, Dylan Sauerwein / unsplash Sheilahasaname: My ex did this. It was so humiliating, terrifying, and traumatising. He essentially coerced me out of a plane by buying me a skydiving ticket. I'm terrified of heights. Some stuff went wrong and by the time I ended up back at the sight, he had a big sign laid out and hundreds of people watching. I was crying, but not because I was happy. isthatabingo: It isn’t bad if they’ve discussed it ahead of time and the one being proposed to has said they are ok with a public proposal. Anyone who proposes to someone without discussing it before hand is stupid imo, and doing it in public not only embarrasses their significant other, but themselves.

#36 "I would love to just own and operate a little bar/restaurant/cafe/bakery/tavern and make enough to get by in a little town"

Image source: Ripfengor, Anna Tukhfatullina Food Photographer/Stylist / pexels -this is exclusively stated by people who have NEVER worked in a bar/restaurant/cafe/bakery/tavern, and almost certainly not a little one in a little town. The most failing businesses on the planet are hospitality + F&B for a reason.

#37 This is going to be a hot-take so fair warning.

Image source: Cheetodude625, Josh Hild / pexels The whole "living off the grid" life style or the whole "F society, I'm going to live in the woods" mentality. It is very freaking hard to do in order to maintain said life style and to survive in general.

#38 Pregnancy and childbirth. Some parts are great but holy S**T.

Image source: napalmnacey, Alexander Grey / unsplash

#39 The Mafia. They are just low life scumbags. No, they don't have a code of honor, they have been ratting each other out since the beginning. No, they never had rules against selling d***s, they have been selling them since the 20s. No, they don't live glamorous lives, even the high ups, for the most part, live ordinary lives. Nothing that is portrayed in the movies is correct.

Image source: lespaulstrat2, Katherine Bowers / pexels

#40 Working in the film industry.

Image source: Lupinyonder, Benjamin Wedemeyer / unsplash adknight11: One of my good friends worked as a Production Assistant for years down in Atlanta and I couldn’t believe how crazy her schedule was. On top of that, the story she has of some film stars who were absolutely horrid to work with. She’s happily staying at home with her baby boy now.