30 Times People Dumped Their Partner Because They Discovered A Bad Secret

We get used to break-ups during our dating years because not all relationships are meant to last. But after making a commitment to each other such as marriage or a partnership, it takes something dire to make someone want to walk away from the union.  Recently, Redditors shared their experiences of dealing with a relationship that turned sour because they found out a secret about their spouse that turned their world upside down. Scroll below to check out what it took for a seemingly strong relationship to collapse. More info: Reddit

#1 Her secret heart: she wanted to be a trad wife. In my 30’s I was working a good paying union job as a welder in a shipyard, a job I truly loved. I owned a home but had no other debt, our car was paid for. She worked as a sushi waitress a couple times a week and earned all of our fun money plus a little extra for her hobbies. Things were chill.

Image source: rusty_handlebars, Yusuf Çelik/Pexels (not the actual photo) We shared our car which wasn’t a big deal since our shifts never crossed and if she ever needed the car that day she would bring to work in the morning at 5am and head back to do her day. A few years go by and she expresses interest in going back to school. Awesome!! She’d had some public school trauma so we spent a lot of time talking it over and she decided to start with one community college art class. Low stakes, creative, aligned with her interests. She loved it! Wonderful. She loved it so much she wanted to start full time classes. We pulled out our finances and looked things over. I could pick up overtime easily, so I’d start picking up an extra shift a couple times a month, she’d drop down to one shift at sushi. This makes things tight, but she’s really starting to blossom. Then the next quarter rolled around and she decided she needed a car of her own in order to take the classes she wanted- sharing a car had its limits. We take the finances out again and the only way to make that happen was her earning $300 more a month to cover the new car note or for me to work 6 days a week, every week. I said I would not do that. Shipyard welding is hard work. This is when her secret was revealed: she told me with vitriol and rage “I will never work as hard as you. I will never earn as much as you. You have to take care of me that way and you need to get used to that NOW!” It was there that I realized I didn’t have a wife who wanted a 50/50 partnership with me. She wanted me to spend my lifetime providing her with a lifestyle she herself wasn’t willing to work for. 10 years building up the that moment. 7 years of marriage shattered with that secret heart of hers. I filed for divorce three months later and never looked back. .

#2 I bragged to a friend in front of my girlfriend that my girlfriend and I had only fought once in our two years of dating. My girlfriend said the reason we never fought was because she didn't care enough about me to fight about anything. She also was cheating on me, but I didn't learn that one until after the relationship ended.

Image source: ravenssettle, Shukhrat Umarov/Pexels (not the actual photo)

#3 Saw a message preview on her lockscreen of a dude heart reacting to a message from her saying "at least you know whenever I'm with him I'm thinking of you". We had just come back from a holiday for our anniversary and moved in together...

Image source: Gartholamewd, Susanne Nilsson/Flickr (not the actual photo)

#4 I found her and her sister texting about birth control.   More specifically, the sister was gonna start deliberately sabotaging hers.   When I asked about it, I was told it was okay, "she just trying to make sure he stays."  I left fast enough, you could see smoke.  Wish I knew who the sister's boyfriend, so I could have warned him.

Image source: pop_tab, Ivan/Pexels (not the actual photo)

#5 She knew we were tight on money after she moved in with me and she needed to find a job urgently. She claimed to be applying for jobs all the time. She didn't want me looking over her resume or application letters. Months later I discovered she never applied to any jobs out of fear for rejection.

Image source: Th3_Accountant, Lisa Fotios/Pexels (not the actual photo)

#6 She went out with her friends one night. I had a headache and didn’t feel like going anywhere so I stayed in. She had f****d up before so we did the whole location sharing thing.

Image source: sumyungdood, Keira Burton/Pexels (not the actual photo) This idiot still goes to this guys house and didn’t come home till 5a. Truth was, I didn’t have a headache. I had a feeling she was talking to him again so I let it happen. Happened on a Friday night and Saturday night we had a dinner planned with her parents who were in town. I figured I’d suffer through it, work on finding a new place to live immediately, and the next week just disappear. Saturday night at dinner her mom says, “let me know when you want to propose and I’ll give you my ring.” My ex nudges me and says, “yeah, when are you gunna ask huh!?” I laughed so hard during the interaction, knowing she was with someone else less than 24 hours earlier. Sunday morning she starts going in on me about the dishes as I’m doing them. I finally got so fed up I just laughed and said, “so where were you Friday night?” She turned white.

#7 His d**g dealer called to let me know my husband had a 3K per week habit, and he owed money. Just calling to let me know they know which school bus my kid rides.

Image source: caveamy, Alena Shekhovtcova/Pexels (not the actual photo)

#8 I found text messages with his sister where she was giving him advice on how to freeze or microwave my birth control without damaging the packaging. Boy, bye.

Image source: kiawithaT

#9 Her dad never really died.

To be fair it was a garbage relationship and she was pretty abusive and would constantly lie and gaslight me. It’s weird I knew all this but would just brush it aside and make excuses. This one was the final lie that made me realize I needed to run. Early in our relationship she told me her dad was quite sick, I supported her through it but it seemed he was getting worse and worse. She said he had brain cancer. After a couple months he passed away. Having never lost a parent I was horrified for her and did everything to be there for her. After the funeral (which she refused to let me go to) she came back to my place in full funeral gear with a veil and gloves and mascara running down her eyes. I comforted her while she talked about the shock of burying her dad. Over the next few months we grew very close as I helped her work through the grief. A year and a bit later the relationship is horrendously toxic, she’s cheated on me, hit me, gaslit me and isolated me from my family. I was living in a trance where I kind of just accepted this as my reality cause every time we’d have a “break” she would plead her case and I’d take her back. I was sitting in a random uni lecture when I see I got a Facebook message request, I click on it and my heart drops as I see it’s from her dad, He’s messaged me “what are you doing with my daughter”. I stalk the profile, at first thinking it’s fake, but then realize it’s real. I assume it must be someone’s hacked into her dead dads Facebook, after all he’s dead she went to the funeral. As I start piecing it together I begin to realize maybe he never died. I leave the class and call her and say “your dad just messaged me on Fb wtf is going on” and she basically admitted he never died she made the whole thing up for whatever b******t reason. I felt the light finally go on and realized I needed to be a million miles away from this girl, there’s no excuse she could make that would in any way justify what she did. I broke up with her for the final time right after. I’ve recovered now and come to terms with the awfulness of that relationship thankfully. Now whenever im hanging with friends and someone mentions a crazy ex story I can feel all their heads turn to me lol. Image source: Blazed__AND__Amused

#10 The coworker he was worried I was attracted to, I was. The difference is I never talked to him outside of work related things and shut him down immediately when he showed interest in me. A girl coworker gave my ex 1 oz of attention and he cheated and left me for her almost immediately. Later regretted it and said the grass isn’t always greener, now he’s with her because I wouldn’t move back with him and he didn’t want to be lonely.

Glad I stayed on my side of the lawn, I would never want to be the one responsible for how awful another person feels because I couldn’t stay faithful at work. A partner should never have to feel insecure about you going to your job. Image source: DelightfulSerenade

#11 His addiction to cam girl sites. I found out via the insane credit card bill that he could no longer hide, as the CC was through his bank and he’d maxed out his already insane credit limit and the bank had started taking 80% of his deposited paycheques to pay it down.

Image source: owlsandmoths, Anastasia Shuraeva/Pexels (not the actual photo) The CC bill was over $150K when I discovered it and he could no longer pay his share of household bills due to the bank garnishing his cheque to pay down the balance. How Tf do you rack up $150K on cam girl sites- in secret no less?? Like where was he even watching and interacting with those sites? In the bathroom at work or something? We were literally together every waking minute outside of work. We were together 9 1/2 years at that point. Smart man tanked his relationship and credit all in one go.

#12 My friend told me that my boyfriend at the time has an STD. When I asked him he lied at first, then came clean. Dumped his a*s immediately, got tested positive for gonorrhoea. Cured now, anybody wants to go out?

Image source: CutelilVal, Kampus Production/Pexels (not the actual photo)

#13 The guy she was cheating on me with found out about me. He found me at a bar told me about it, bought me a drink, and I immediately got on the phone and broke up with her.

Image source: detectivedueces, Connor Danylenko/Pexels (not the actual photo) I'm not going to go into super deep detail, but it was nice to have an honorable dude give me the warning instead of weeks of suspicion. I was about to get an apartment with her, and I dodged a bullet.

#14 The first girlfriend I had, she wanted us to run each other's credit to make sure we were financially compatible. I said "sure." So she signed up for her credit report, I signed up for mine. She gave me a copy of her experian report - a pdf copy, and it looked good, so it ticked off the box of "fiscally responsible."

Image source: Upper-Tomorrow-5963, Pixabay/Pexels (not the actual photo) A few weeks later, I overheard her talking to two different collection agencies and I wondered why she would be, if her credit score was over 780. I confronted her about it, and she told me she doctored the credit report, because she liked me, and she had horrible credit. I told her I would have stayed with her if she was making an effort to clean up her financial past, but I couldn't overlook the lying.

#15 He said that he just “settled” for me because he had no other options and i seemed to “match his standards” lol.

Image source: Available_Tune_5796, John Diez/Pexels (not the actual photo)

#16 Her and I had been high school best friends and dated for a little bit before she broke up with me after we graduated. We remained friends, had conversations to reconcile, and continued to be in contact with each other for over 18 years.

We had a silly pact where we would marry each other if we were over 35 and single. Well we were both single, done with dating, obviously had chemistry and decided to say screw it and go for it slowly. We were all in, I didn’t think anything otherwise and didn’t suspect a thing. She lived about 2 hours away by plane on a direct flight so seeing each other was easy. Well after a few months she had a manic episode and went missing so I called her parents and they hadn’t heard from her in a week, they were out of town. So they were sending her sister to check on her and calling friends. I called her work at the deli she worked at. The moment I said that this was her boyfriend her boss said “well I’m her boyfriend.” Suffice to say she’d been living a double life. He’d been giving her money for her flights to visit sick family members (me) and see my dying dad (that she said was her uncle to him). I had also helped her a couple times for flights too so she was pocketing the money. Her family and I were in contact during the whole thing so I told them what was happening and she didn’t like that because she got exposed of the fraud she is to her family. Image source: LordvonHelmut

#17 We would have weekly lunch dates on Wednesdays at the same restaurant. It was his favorite place he said. He was only available Wednesday at noon he said.

Well, I had my phone stolen from work one Wednesday and decided to go wait at our spot for him anyways. I was chatting with a waitress who I hadn't seen there before and eventually asked to barrow her phone to call my bf and let him know my phone got stolen but I was waiting there for him. Typed in his number and his contact came up with a photo of him and his dog in his bed, no clothes. And we both said "how do you know my boyfriend?" She usually has Wednesdays off and was just covering a shift that day. They have weekly Wednesday dinner dates. Image source: rantsandreveals

#18 He was cheating on me with the same people he went to the psych ward with. I was "being overdramatic" about it though.

Image source: Strong_Management_16, RDNE Stock project/Pexels (not the actual photo)

#19 That he was fantasizing about places/ways my body would never be found. He said it out loud once - and that was it. We have kids together so I have to still see him but thankfully my now husband makes sure we're never alone together.

Image source: No_Solid_7847, Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels (not the actual photo)

#20 I found videos he made at the beach of him zooming in on a prepubescent girl, like hours of video.

Image source: oh_sheaintright, Kindel Media/Pexels (not the actual photo)

#21 He was married with a son. I found a box of his wedding photos and he tried to tell me he, the groom, holding the bride, was just the best man ? took the train home immediately. He was also not 21, he was 30. Guy was a b*****d.

Image source: ConsistentAd3146, George Milton/Pexels (not the actual photo)

#22 He could not promise 100% that we would not see [an escort] in the future in the course of a long relationship. He said: I try to be loyal, but there is no 100% guarantee. I might go to the brothel in the course of a long relationship, even though I don’t want to. I am just human and can make mistakes

Image source: gata_triste, mali maeder/Pexels (not the actual photo)

#23 My ex had been through a lot of s**t in per past. Her family was abusive, her previous partners also very awful people.

She started struggling with her mental health, but we were working through it. One evening we went out to an event and there was an inconvenience. Nothing big, just a confluence of events that caused us a setback. Life happens. Over the course of a half hour she spun it, entirely fictiously, into a huge targetted conspiracy meant to ruin her night. Literally she was talking about how the patriarchy was trying to silence her voice so she couldn't shine light on their activities, etc. etc. etc. I was there. It had nothing to do with us or her. It was just a random event that sucked. We were only tangentially affected. But she made herself the center of events, and a victim. And it made me start thinking about all the stories she told me, where everyone around her was evil and she was being attacked. Did her dad really tear her door down and yell at her? Did her ex really steal all her money and kick her out? Maybe. Maybe not. I'd watched her spin reality into a much worse, fake story, that she totally believed. I couldn't trust her anymore. Image source: shaidyn

#24 He had an affair with my cousin.

Image source: yukimozz, Ron Lach/Pexels (not the actual photo)

#25 Turns out she was essentially collecting boyfriends like they were limited edition trading cards. I was apparently the 'Summer Edition.' Came to light when I bumped into 'Mr. Spring' at a coffee shop who was just as clueless as I was. We grabbed a drink to discuss our shared season of dismay, ended up becoming friends instead. Sort of a bittersweet bonus prize.

Image source: maria_sideris30, Shvets Anna/Pexels (not the actual photo)

#26 My ex-husband was having his 4th affair (that I know of) and told my then-13-year-old-daughter. He told her if she told me or anyone else he'd never speak to her again. After suffering in silence for 2 weeks, she finally told me after a trip to the ER to cure her migraine that was brought on by stress.

Image source: burnmeup82

#27 3 months after moving our 3 kids & us to another state, she was cheating & got pregnant. She had the child with that guy, then proceeded to cheat on him to get pregnant again, except with twins. So 6 kids in 7 years with 3 people (that I know of).

Image source: _where_is_my_mind, Jonathan Borba/Pexels (not the actual photo)

#28 I wanted to surprise her by picking her up from work and taking her out. Imagine how surprised I was when she ran out of work and jumped in the car of my best friend.

Image source: BacchusLiber

#29 Not sure when it started but: “On weekends I’m watching and caring for my old and delicate grandpa who has dementia” NOPE, was back with her cheating ex to “try again” LOL. Trash goes outside!

Image source: BEARDEDBAKER85, MART PRODUCTION/Pexels (not the actual photo)

#30 A woman I used to be friends with made threats of cutting me open to take my baby. She also said she was dating my boyfriend. She said my boyfriend/baby daddy (now my ex of course) was going to hold me down while she cut the baby out of me, and that they would raise my baby together. I confronted boyfriend, he adamantly denied it, said she was just crazy and obsessed with him. She did have very severe psychiatric issues and outrageous threats and claims like that weren’t entirely out of the ordinary for her. But it turned out he was actually in on it the entire time. I ended up finding the messages between the both of them about it. I also found out he had been poisoning me each time he got me pregnant. Our daughter is the only living child I have out of six pregnancies I had with him. I found all that out, then even some more bad info, so I cut him out of our lives completely and never ever looked back.

Image source: punkrockzombie15