30 Couples Reveal The Most Unexpected Things They Learned After Marriage
“What did your spouse hide from you until after you were already married?”
Marriage is often filled with delightful surprises and unexpected revelations. Even if you date your partner for a long period, there will be things that might surprise you about them because humans are complex beings.
When a Reddit user posed the question, “What did your spouse hide from you until after you were already married?” the responses were a mix of humorous, touching, and downright surprising stories. Here are some of the most intriguing answers shared by Reddit users.
Image source: SpaceForceLieutenant, Ahmed akacha/Pexels (not the actual photo)
That his family was crazy abusive and neglectful and he thought it was all normal until I told him no, it’s not normal to get beaten every day and it’s not normal for your mom to pass out drunk and you have to feed and take care of your baby brother at only 7 years old.
Image source: mandywydnam, dreamworks
He knew every word to the 2001 Cinematic masterpiece Shrek. I didn't know it until after we were married for FIVE YEARS.
Image source: NoSquirrel7184, Christopher Campbell/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Married her thinking we had both been prior divorced once. Turns out she had been married an extra time. I thought Ok, its a Vegas thing or something when you were young, nope, she was married fo 7 years to her child hood sweetheart. Turns out she lied about just about everything to do with her personal life. Divorced three years later.
Image source: Marriednotdeadd, Diego González/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
He had never paid taxes during his military career. Never. 5 years. Still blows my mind how that’s even possible. Bottom line, 6 months into the marriage, I’m attempting to buy a sandwich and my card declines. That’s weird. Checked the joint bank account, IRS took everything.
Image source: Louisianimal0418, whyamiKeenan/Flickr (not the actual photo)
A second refrigerator in the garage. It was hidden. I saw our daughter eating a popsicle and I asked her where she got it. She said “dad’s fridge” and I asked what that meant. She walked outside and showed me what “dad’s fridge” was and I’ll be damned. I don’t know how I didn’t see it.
Image source: Successful-Ad7296, Jakob Owens/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
That he was a paranoid schizophrenic.
Image source: hypnosssis, Anthony Wade/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The insane way he was brought up. His siblings went to kindergarten but not him. He was locked in a room while the parents worked (he is the eldest). It still doesn’t bother him!
Image source: stillnesswithin-, Towfiqu barbhuiya/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
We never got married but my partner hid that he was about to go bankrupt until I was 6 months pregnant. That was fun times!!
Image source: emptyteacupfan, Patricia Prudente/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Years and years ago my relative hid a wife and kids across the globe from his new wife until she called his parents and the old wife answered ? old wife thought he died in war.
Image source: She-Individual-24, Ksenia Chernaya/Pexels (not the actual photo)
I asked my mother about this once. She said she didn’t learn until after marriage that my dad very frequently attends funerals! She noticed in their first year there seemed to always be a friend of a family friend, extended relative, an old piano teacher, etc whose funeral mass my dad would attend. He’s from a huge family with tons of siblings/uncles/aunts with lots of extended friends and relatives. Latinos lol. She asked him why he attends every single one even if he hardly knew the person and he said he just feels strongly it’s the right thing to do, because his mom raised him that way. My dad is very wholesome. My parents have been married 42 years and he is still this way. It’s not infrequent I’ll catch up with my dad on the weekend and ask him what he’s up to and he says “well I’m attending the mass for so & so’s mom, remember her?” (I never do).
Image source: AfterHours22, Andriyko Podilnyk/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
That she was a trans woman (MtF).
Image source: laser_marquise, FOX/Pexels (not the actual photo)
He hates mushrooms. I used to make this mushroom lasagna with 4 kinds of mushrooms and a mushroom bechamel and he would eat seconds! The deep streak of British politeness meaning he would eat whatever I made didn't break until a few years into marriage.
Image source: Federal-Aardvark-722, Pixabay/Pexels (not the actual photo)
We never married and are no longer together, but she is the mother of my son.
She hid from me just how good of a mum she would be, was of the opinion for a long time she never wanted any kids, but we spoke about it and decided to have one, what a woman she is, she's got pretty bad depression, early menopause, and endometriosis, every day for her is different, but god that woman steps up every day for our son, things didn't work between us nothing bad, just circumstances, but I love that woman so much for what she does.
Image source: buzzingbuzzer, Miguelangel Miquelena/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
That he is a really hard worker. He completely changed the day we got married. I don’t mean change in a bad way. He f*****g stepped his game up. He puts in the work every single day to keep our marriage in such a good spot.
Image source: mldl, Ash Berlin/Flickr (not the actual photo)
His favourite dinosaur is the triceratops. I had to hear it from our two year old.
Image source: _pie_pie_pie_, Magda Ehlers/Pexels (not the actual photo)
That he loves jigsaw puzzles! I guess I didn't tell him I did either. We found out on our honeymoon. It started a lovely tradition where we now buy a challenging puzzle from the places we visit together.
Image source: adoglovingartteacher, Kenny Eliason/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
How freaking smart he was. Some things had never come up before. But he could figure out how to do stuff, fix stuff, problem solve…he never failed to surprise me.
Image source: throwaway_bandittt, Pixabay/Pexels (not the actual photo)
That my husband can make this sound with his mouth and it sounds EXACTLY like a guinea pig. I still don't get how he does it, now our 10 year old son can also make this sound and I just dont get it. It's some form of sorcery.
Image source: Airbear61181, David Shankbone/Flickr (not the actual photo)
I’ve got a crazy one. I found out my ex husband had an adult baby/diaper fetish after we married. He had even gone as far as putting up ads online looking for women to change him. Found one of his ads where he made up a story about being incontinent from a car accident…which was completely false and made up.
He told me about this fetish after we got married, but it never came up again until the end of our marriage, which is when I found the ads he put online. He wanted to act on it more and wanted me to be involved. I didn’t understand it and, to be honest, it grossed me TF out.
We started seeing a marriage counselor, and she suggested me giving him boundaries…like certain days where he was allowed to wear the briefs and do adult baby stuff. All it took was one time seeing him, a grown man sitting on a blanket on the floor with a pacifier, bottle, and adult diaper on, I just couldn’t take it…I ended the marriage shortly after that.
Image source: Roleplayer_MidRNova, Andrew Davie/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Oof that he was predominantly asexual. I support Aces, but that's really something you need to let your partner know about before a commitment like that.
Image source: thefifthtrilogy, Alex Simpson/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Bowel issues. They’re genetic and cause him to last an hour in the restroom daily. It really sucks when I have to pee.
Also how destructively envious his mom was of my family. Explained why she’s always so critical of me, she’s looking for ways to tear me down to her level.
Image source: SapphireWork, Kampus Production/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Our wedding night, I woke up from a deep sleep because he had terrible gas. His farts were so loud, and often, I actually felt badly for him! In the morning I asked if he was feeling okay, if the food had upset his stomach, if he needed to postpone our honeymoon trip…
He had been holding it in for the five years we were dating.
Image source: edengetscreative, Emil Kalibradov/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
$20,000 worth of credit card debt.
Image source: Unique-Connection-78, Lukas Rychvalsky/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Kids, his age, his felonies/attempt of m*rder charge, he didn’t own the house he was living like he said he did, a prior marriage. God that’s probably more but this was over 10 years ago.
Image source: DorkasaurusRex6, Yi Liu/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
That he can juggle lol like how did this not come up until after 8 years?
Image source: Lolabelle1223, Diego Lozano/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
That he cheated on me and had a kid.
Image source: beesus06, SEYED ALI Taghavi/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
A lot of stuff about his childhood- I knew he was abused, I didn’t know the extent of it and it makes me sick how his mother and father treated him. We cut his mom off years ago but his dad took off on his family when he turned 9 :( My husband has admitted he doesn’t really know what it’s like to have a family and that I am his family.
Image source: RealBrookeSchwartz, Rachel Claire/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Exactly how patient he'd be with my ADHD. The dude is superhuman. *I* get more frustrated about my ADHD than he does.
Image source: rednecksnextdoor, Ana Klipper/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Not my spouse, but my friends' spouse hid kids he didn't take care of. The way she found out? Getting a letter from the IRS that their refund was snatched for back child support.
Image source: WhatTheActualFluff, Nixon Johnson/Pexels (not the actual photo)
That he can catch flies in mid air like a f*****g ninja.
#1
Image source: SpaceForceLieutenant, Ahmed akacha/Pexels (not the actual photo)
That his family was crazy abusive and neglectful and he thought it was all normal until I told him no, it’s not normal to get beaten every day and it’s not normal for your mom to pass out drunk and you have to feed and take care of your baby brother at only 7 years old.
#2
Image source: mandywydnam, dreamworks
He knew every word to the 2001 Cinematic masterpiece Shrek. I didn't know it until after we were married for FIVE YEARS.
#3
Image source: NoSquirrel7184, Christopher Campbell/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Married her thinking we had both been prior divorced once. Turns out she had been married an extra time. I thought Ok, its a Vegas thing or something when you were young, nope, she was married fo 7 years to her child hood sweetheart. Turns out she lied about just about everything to do with her personal life. Divorced three years later.
#4
Image source: Marriednotdeadd, Diego González/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
He had never paid taxes during his military career. Never. 5 years. Still blows my mind how that’s even possible. Bottom line, 6 months into the marriage, I’m attempting to buy a sandwich and my card declines. That’s weird. Checked the joint bank account, IRS took everything.
#5
Image source: Louisianimal0418, whyamiKeenan/Flickr (not the actual photo)
A second refrigerator in the garage. It was hidden. I saw our daughter eating a popsicle and I asked her where she got it. She said “dad’s fridge” and I asked what that meant. She walked outside and showed me what “dad’s fridge” was and I’ll be damned. I don’t know how I didn’t see it.
#6
Image source: Successful-Ad7296, Jakob Owens/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
That he was a paranoid schizophrenic.
#7
Image source: hypnosssis, Anthony Wade/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The insane way he was brought up. His siblings went to kindergarten but not him. He was locked in a room while the parents worked (he is the eldest). It still doesn’t bother him!
#8
Image source: stillnesswithin-, Towfiqu barbhuiya/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
We never got married but my partner hid that he was about to go bankrupt until I was 6 months pregnant. That was fun times!!
#9
Image source: emptyteacupfan, Patricia Prudente/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Years and years ago my relative hid a wife and kids across the globe from his new wife until she called his parents and the old wife answered ? old wife thought he died in war.
#10
Image source: She-Individual-24, Ksenia Chernaya/Pexels (not the actual photo)
I asked my mother about this once. She said she didn’t learn until after marriage that my dad very frequently attends funerals! She noticed in their first year there seemed to always be a friend of a family friend, extended relative, an old piano teacher, etc whose funeral mass my dad would attend. He’s from a huge family with tons of siblings/uncles/aunts with lots of extended friends and relatives. Latinos lol. She asked him why he attends every single one even if he hardly knew the person and he said he just feels strongly it’s the right thing to do, because his mom raised him that way. My dad is very wholesome. My parents have been married 42 years and he is still this way. It’s not infrequent I’ll catch up with my dad on the weekend and ask him what he’s up to and he says “well I’m attending the mass for so & so’s mom, remember her?” (I never do).
#11
Image source: AfterHours22, Andriyko Podilnyk/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
That she was a trans woman (MtF).
#12
Image source: laser_marquise, FOX/Pexels (not the actual photo)
He hates mushrooms. I used to make this mushroom lasagna with 4 kinds of mushrooms and a mushroom bechamel and he would eat seconds! The deep streak of British politeness meaning he would eat whatever I made didn't break until a few years into marriage.
#13
Image source: Federal-Aardvark-722, Pixabay/Pexels (not the actual photo)
We never married and are no longer together, but she is the mother of my son.
She hid from me just how good of a mum she would be, was of the opinion for a long time she never wanted any kids, but we spoke about it and decided to have one, what a woman she is, she's got pretty bad depression, early menopause, and endometriosis, every day for her is different, but god that woman steps up every day for our son, things didn't work between us nothing bad, just circumstances, but I love that woman so much for what she does.
#14
Image source: buzzingbuzzer, Miguelangel Miquelena/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
That he is a really hard worker. He completely changed the day we got married. I don’t mean change in a bad way. He f*****g stepped his game up. He puts in the work every single day to keep our marriage in such a good spot.
#15
Image source: mldl, Ash Berlin/Flickr (not the actual photo)
His favourite dinosaur is the triceratops. I had to hear it from our two year old.
#16
Image source: _pie_pie_pie_, Magda Ehlers/Pexels (not the actual photo)
That he loves jigsaw puzzles! I guess I didn't tell him I did either. We found out on our honeymoon. It started a lovely tradition where we now buy a challenging puzzle from the places we visit together.
#17
Image source: adoglovingartteacher, Kenny Eliason/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
How freaking smart he was. Some things had never come up before. But he could figure out how to do stuff, fix stuff, problem solve…he never failed to surprise me.
#18
Image source: throwaway_bandittt, Pixabay/Pexels (not the actual photo)
That my husband can make this sound with his mouth and it sounds EXACTLY like a guinea pig. I still don't get how he does it, now our 10 year old son can also make this sound and I just dont get it. It's some form of sorcery.
#19
Image source: Airbear61181, David Shankbone/Flickr (not the actual photo)
I’ve got a crazy one. I found out my ex husband had an adult baby/diaper fetish after we married. He had even gone as far as putting up ads online looking for women to change him. Found one of his ads where he made up a story about being incontinent from a car accident…which was completely false and made up.
He told me about this fetish after we got married, but it never came up again until the end of our marriage, which is when I found the ads he put online. He wanted to act on it more and wanted me to be involved. I didn’t understand it and, to be honest, it grossed me TF out.
We started seeing a marriage counselor, and she suggested me giving him boundaries…like certain days where he was allowed to wear the briefs and do adult baby stuff. All it took was one time seeing him, a grown man sitting on a blanket on the floor with a pacifier, bottle, and adult diaper on, I just couldn’t take it…I ended the marriage shortly after that.
#20
Image source: Roleplayer_MidRNova, Andrew Davie/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Oof that he was predominantly asexual. I support Aces, but that's really something you need to let your partner know about before a commitment like that.
#21
Image source: thefifthtrilogy, Alex Simpson/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Bowel issues. They’re genetic and cause him to last an hour in the restroom daily. It really sucks when I have to pee.
Also how destructively envious his mom was of my family. Explained why she’s always so critical of me, she’s looking for ways to tear me down to her level.
#22
Image source: SapphireWork, Kampus Production/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Our wedding night, I woke up from a deep sleep because he had terrible gas. His farts were so loud, and often, I actually felt badly for him! In the morning I asked if he was feeling okay, if the food had upset his stomach, if he needed to postpone our honeymoon trip…
He had been holding it in for the five years we were dating.
#23
Image source: edengetscreative, Emil Kalibradov/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
$20,000 worth of credit card debt.
#24
Image source: Unique-Connection-78, Lukas Rychvalsky/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Kids, his age, his felonies/attempt of m*rder charge, he didn’t own the house he was living like he said he did, a prior marriage. God that’s probably more but this was over 10 years ago.
#25
Image source: DorkasaurusRex6, Yi Liu/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
That he can juggle lol like how did this not come up until after 8 years?
#26
Image source: Lolabelle1223, Diego Lozano/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
That he cheated on me and had a kid.
#27
Image source: beesus06, SEYED ALI Taghavi/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
A lot of stuff about his childhood- I knew he was abused, I didn’t know the extent of it and it makes me sick how his mother and father treated him. We cut his mom off years ago but his dad took off on his family when he turned 9 :( My husband has admitted he doesn’t really know what it’s like to have a family and that I am his family.
#28
Image source: RealBrookeSchwartz, Rachel Claire/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Exactly how patient he'd be with my ADHD. The dude is superhuman. *I* get more frustrated about my ADHD than he does.
#29
Image source: rednecksnextdoor, Ana Klipper/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Not my spouse, but my friends' spouse hid kids he didn't take care of. The way she found out? Getting a letter from the IRS that their refund was snatched for back child support.
#30
Image source: WhatTheActualFluff, Nixon Johnson/Pexels (not the actual photo)
That he can catch flies in mid air like a f*****g ninja.DE
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