25 Key Moments When A Relationship Could No Longer Hold People Together
Recognizing these key moments and addressing them constructively through communication, therapy, or, in some cases, separation, is essential for maintaining one's well-being and emotional health.
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Relationships are complex, beautiful, and sometimes fragile bonds between individuals. While many relationships stand the test of time, there are moments when they reach a breaking point, and the once-strong connection can no longer hold people together.
This Reddit thread shares moments when relationships tend to falter, highlighting the importance of communication, understanding, and self-awareness in maintaining healthy, lasting partnerships. Check out some snippets of the discussion below.
Image source: ToastyToastersToast, Liza Summer
I found out I was pregnant close to our 5 year wedding anniversary. When I asked what he wanted for our anniversary he said an abortion. When I miscarried 3 weeks later he threw a party for it. The irony of it all is that we got a divorce cause he knocked up another chick that refused to abort cause she was catholic and needed to be married to him so the child would not be a bastard. He is miserable in another marriage and I have been happily divorced for 6 years now.
Image source: Straight-Fig-4008, Jonathan Borba
When he gave me an STD after 16 yrs of marriage, then blamed me!
Image source: Iperovic, Pixabay
When she told me to stop trying to control her for asking her to stop drinking and driving
She had a car accident a few hours later and almost died
I don't care if you're irresponsible with your own life but when you drink and drive you put others at risk and the fact a 24 year old had to be told not to do that was shocking
Image source: imdungrowinup, Andrea Piacquadio
His mom kept saying stuff while no one was around but he wouldn’t believe me. Then she would change her whole story when even one witness was around and I looked like a fool. This has been happening and then his grandmother died. His mom told my parents that they should not come for the funeral and she also told me that I should not come to the funeral either. We have a custom as per which a new bride of the family first goes to a happy family event. Since no such event had happened in his family even 2 years into our marriage. His mom was of the view that we shouldn’t attend the funeral. She kept insisting on this point so we did not go. Then she started telling everyone we knew in common about what a s**t daughter in law she had and how s**t my parents were too for not even coming to something like grandmother’s funeral. My ex husband knew what had happened but not once did he call his mother out. Instead he said if I keep saying such things then it would be very difficult for us to live together which in my dictionary means he basically threatened me with a divorce. No one says such things without meaning it. So I knew in my head I was going to get divorced. Just gave myself more than a year to be mentally prepared for it. Once I was mentally ready I straight up told him I wanted a divorce after a heated argument. He was in shock because most Indian women don’t ever ask for divorce and keep dealing with the in laws bs all their lives. Its expected of us like breathing is expected of humans. That family can go all f**k themselves.
Image source: Magoo1963, Andrea Piacquadio
When I woke up three days post surgery — there had been a cancer scare and complications — I whispered to my husband. “Could you get me some ice chips?” Mind you, I had not been out of bed or eating/drinking, much less awake. He said, stone-faced, “get them yourself.” Not at that moment, but when I processed it later, I knew I could not grow old and be vulnerable with him. Years later, his excuse was that he had just been on the phone with his mother.
Image source: PasstheKu5h, cottonbro studio
Me and my boyfriend were long distance towards the end, so I’d say when I started dreading our nightly facetimes and realized I enjoyed my personal time way more than talking/hanging out with him. Harsh, but true.
Image source: JohanB3, Mary Taylor
When she wasn’t the first person I wanted to share the good and bad news from my day with anymore.
Image source: SomewhereinOregon, Polina Zimmerman
When we were in a counseling session, and the counselor asked me why I was so unhappy. I said it felt like I was the one to have to make the adjustments, compromises and sacrifices, our entire marriage. While my exH refused to give up anything.
She said that was a powerful statement but probably not accurate, then turned to my ex and asked how he felt about what I said. He just shrugged and said, she’s right. I didn’t feel the need to sacrifice anything. And she always gave in.
No apologies. No offer to make changes. Just said it would be more of the same.
I was done.
Image source: Sufficient-Soup3538, Polina Zimmerman
I started getting busier and busier, and as time passed I realized it started feeling like a chore to text or talk to him. I realized I wasn’t as invested in what he had to say anymore.
Image source: hello_enya, Nataliya Vaitkevich
When i realized i was the only one planning our future and he was just there riding along with whatever i came up with. It felt very lonely and exhausting. I wanted a life partner that could help lead the way and carry the load with me.
Image source: kafm73, Jonathan Borba
I got pregnant right when our marriage started going to s**t. We had been together for six years and then married for seven. I waited to even think about having children, and I should have gotten back on birth control a couple of months prior but Felt like I had things under control in that department. Well, surprise!! Anyway, when he left me in the hospital after having just given birth and told me he be back in a little while because he had gotten his vehicle stuck and needed to go have it towed (something along these lines). I knew that I was not going to see him again, he left me in the hospital with a brand new baby. Thank God his sister came down and she drove me and the baby home. I didn’t see him again until the baby was like nine days old. For the record, the “baby” is an 18 year old college freshman and I could not imagine my life without him. So, for all that heartache, I got the best gift of my life!
Image source: TheBilateralMan, cottonbro studio
The words still resonate in my head. "Either you move out or I'm moving out, I haven't loved you for the past year" My first thought was wait that was all fake! as I thought about all we had done together over the past year. I moved out and she filed and finalized a divorce. 3 months after the divorce was final she was at my door crying and saying she wanted to get back together because apparently the guy she had been having an affair with wasn't that great after all. Nope, but thanks for ripping all the scabs off my slowing healing wounds from this. Those we dark days as we had been together 9 years total and married for 7.
Image source: saltyeleven, Gazelle Rahmani
When I realized that I am happier when he isn’t around.
Image source: [deleted], Ali Pazani
When our power was shut off but he had just purchased a new “fun” car for himself-three weeks after totaling his other “fun” car. I had no idea we were so behind on the bills because he insisted on always being in charge of finances since I “just stayed home and didn’t work”. I opened up my own bank account the next day and put 20 dollars he had given me for groceries in it. Started cleaning houses during the day while my mom watched my kids. Left six months later.
Image source: myonkin, Antoni Shkraba
We went to counselling. First session was productive...we were given "homework."
The second session the counselor asked how we did. When it was discovered she didn't do her "homework" the counselor called her out on it.
We left her office and she said "I don't want to do counselling anymore."
That was when I knew.
Image source: goblinbox, Engin Akyurt
When he demanded that I get one of my friends to f**k him if I wasn't going to do it myself.
He'd been back home, from an out-of-town job, for barely half an hour. We'd been apart maybe two weeks. I was on my period and flooding *heavily*, which I had already told him. But he demanded to get laid anyway.
It turned out I had a uterine tumor, but I didn't know that at the time. I only knew my periods were hell. And so did he. He was there when I bled through two overnight pads onto our friends' white wool sofa in front of an entire Super Bowl party. He was there when my pain was so bad I cried and sobbed and panted and threw up for an hour, and all he did was go back to bed.
He knew something was genuinely wrong, but he didn't care beyond how it interfered with him getting his d**k wet. My pain and suffering were irrelevant to him, and "get one of your friends to f**k me, then!" was the moment I was finally so shocked I let myself acknowledge it.
It was the moment I saw with complete clarity that his selfishness was both total and insurmountable. It was the moment I realized he didn't, and indeed probably couldn't, love me.
So I said, "That's it. I'm done. This is over." And I picked up my bag and walked out the door with only the clothes on my back, and never went back.
Image source: yggdrasil_shade, Yan Krukau
When I realized I did not like the person I had become in the relationship.
Image source: Great7852, Alimurat Üral
When I couldn't pass my licence exam and was really upset and he said "haha loser!"
Image source: insertcaffeine, Tima Miroshnichenko
I'd just come home from another 12 hour shift at work. The baby's diaper was dirty, the house was a mess, the sink was stacked with dishes, and my ex was goofing around on the computer like always. I remember thinking, as I grabbed the baby and changed his diaper, "I can't wait until [ex] leaves for his business trip, he's no f**king help, it's easier to do this alone and not have him AND the baby messing things up." Lightbulb moment: IT'S EASIER TO DO THIS ALONE. Anyway, I was changing the baby, and Ex snuck up behind me and grabbed my ass. He always did that, even after I told him not to. While he was on his trip, I researched marriage counselors. We went to an intake session, voiced our frustrations with the housework (me) and lack of sex (him), and went home. On the drive home, he said, "If we divorce, we can still sleep together casually, right?" And we're done here! Separated within a month, and he never got any from me again. (Happy ending: stayed single for a few years, it was fun, reconnected with an old friend, fell in love and married him, he is kind and respectful and we take good care of each other)
Image source: Teapigs1984, Anastasia Shuraeva
My ex would taunt me with the idea that he would have proposed had I not (insert latest error on my part here). It really hurt as he knew how important marriage was to me. Then I heard via a friend that he actually was intending to propose during our upcoming summer holiday and I just felt dread. I finished it that weekend.
Image source: Dysteech, Pavel Danilyuk
When my oldest daughter asked me why daddy and I hated each other. I didn’t think our problems affected her up until that point and I knew I couldn’t let her grow up in that kind of home.
Image source: MommaTryed38, cottonbro studio
My last relationship ended with her saying the words , " we need to re-home your dog." I have a 12yo Shiba , have had him since he was a puppy . That's my boy , Shiba's can be a handful , but she knew my dog is my kid , I knew right then we were done . Some people will get it , some won't.
Image source: TrickBoom414, Robert Nagy
I hated hearing her car pull in the driveway when she got off work.
Image source: TemptCiderFan, Anna Shvets
When she told me she cheated on me.
There's a lot I can forgive, or at least decide it's not a deal breaker, but cheating is one of the lines where crossing it is an instant one. Even if she was drunk, I don't care, because it wasn't just one mistake. It was a series of stupid mistakes.
She went to a house party with a few friends and got tipsy. Then she started to flirt with another guy. Then she continued to flirt with him for an hour. Then she went upstairs and made out with him, then slept with him.
"I was drunk," isn't an excuse.
Image source: lbeaty1981, MART PRODUCTION
I looked up one day and realized I'd spent 5 years trying to help him stop drinking, and he'd spent 5 years finding better ways to hide his drinking from me.
Alcoholism is a horrible f*****g disease.
#1
Image source: ToastyToastersToast, Liza Summer
I found out I was pregnant close to our 5 year wedding anniversary. When I asked what he wanted for our anniversary he said an abortion. When I miscarried 3 weeks later he threw a party for it. The irony of it all is that we got a divorce cause he knocked up another chick that refused to abort cause she was catholic and needed to be married to him so the child would not be a bastard. He is miserable in another marriage and I have been happily divorced for 6 years now.
#2
Image source: Straight-Fig-4008, Jonathan Borba
When he gave me an STD after 16 yrs of marriage, then blamed me!
#3
Image source: Iperovic, Pixabay
When she told me to stop trying to control her for asking her to stop drinking and driving
She had a car accident a few hours later and almost died
I don't care if you're irresponsible with your own life but when you drink and drive you put others at risk and the fact a 24 year old had to be told not to do that was shocking
#4
Image source: imdungrowinup, Andrea Piacquadio
His mom kept saying stuff while no one was around but he wouldn’t believe me. Then she would change her whole story when even one witness was around and I looked like a fool. This has been happening and then his grandmother died. His mom told my parents that they should not come for the funeral and she also told me that I should not come to the funeral either. We have a custom as per which a new bride of the family first goes to a happy family event. Since no such event had happened in his family even 2 years into our marriage. His mom was of the view that we shouldn’t attend the funeral. She kept insisting on this point so we did not go. Then she started telling everyone we knew in common about what a s**t daughter in law she had and how s**t my parents were too for not even coming to something like grandmother’s funeral. My ex husband knew what had happened but not once did he call his mother out. Instead he said if I keep saying such things then it would be very difficult for us to live together which in my dictionary means he basically threatened me with a divorce. No one says such things without meaning it. So I knew in my head I was going to get divorced. Just gave myself more than a year to be mentally prepared for it. Once I was mentally ready I straight up told him I wanted a divorce after a heated argument. He was in shock because most Indian women don’t ever ask for divorce and keep dealing with the in laws bs all their lives. Its expected of us like breathing is expected of humans. That family can go all f**k themselves.
#5
Image source: Magoo1963, Andrea Piacquadio
When I woke up three days post surgery — there had been a cancer scare and complications — I whispered to my husband. “Could you get me some ice chips?” Mind you, I had not been out of bed or eating/drinking, much less awake. He said, stone-faced, “get them yourself.” Not at that moment, but when I processed it later, I knew I could not grow old and be vulnerable with him. Years later, his excuse was that he had just been on the phone with his mother.
#6
Image source: PasstheKu5h, cottonbro studio
Me and my boyfriend were long distance towards the end, so I’d say when I started dreading our nightly facetimes and realized I enjoyed my personal time way more than talking/hanging out with him. Harsh, but true.
#7
Image source: JohanB3, Mary Taylor
When she wasn’t the first person I wanted to share the good and bad news from my day with anymore.
#8
Image source: SomewhereinOregon, Polina Zimmerman
When we were in a counseling session, and the counselor asked me why I was so unhappy. I said it felt like I was the one to have to make the adjustments, compromises and sacrifices, our entire marriage. While my exH refused to give up anything.
She said that was a powerful statement but probably not accurate, then turned to my ex and asked how he felt about what I said. He just shrugged and said, she’s right. I didn’t feel the need to sacrifice anything. And she always gave in.
No apologies. No offer to make changes. Just said it would be more of the same.
I was done.
#9
Image source: Sufficient-Soup3538, Polina Zimmerman
I started getting busier and busier, and as time passed I realized it started feeling like a chore to text or talk to him. I realized I wasn’t as invested in what he had to say anymore.
#10
Image source: hello_enya, Nataliya Vaitkevich
When i realized i was the only one planning our future and he was just there riding along with whatever i came up with. It felt very lonely and exhausting. I wanted a life partner that could help lead the way and carry the load with me.
#11
Image source: kafm73, Jonathan Borba
I got pregnant right when our marriage started going to s**t. We had been together for six years and then married for seven. I waited to even think about having children, and I should have gotten back on birth control a couple of months prior but Felt like I had things under control in that department. Well, surprise!! Anyway, when he left me in the hospital after having just given birth and told me he be back in a little while because he had gotten his vehicle stuck and needed to go have it towed (something along these lines). I knew that I was not going to see him again, he left me in the hospital with a brand new baby. Thank God his sister came down and she drove me and the baby home. I didn’t see him again until the baby was like nine days old. For the record, the “baby” is an 18 year old college freshman and I could not imagine my life without him. So, for all that heartache, I got the best gift of my life!
#12
Image source: TheBilateralMan, cottonbro studio
The words still resonate in my head. "Either you move out or I'm moving out, I haven't loved you for the past year" My first thought was wait that was all fake! as I thought about all we had done together over the past year. I moved out and she filed and finalized a divorce. 3 months after the divorce was final she was at my door crying and saying she wanted to get back together because apparently the guy she had been having an affair with wasn't that great after all. Nope, but thanks for ripping all the scabs off my slowing healing wounds from this. Those we dark days as we had been together 9 years total and married for 7.
#13
Image source: saltyeleven, Gazelle Rahmani
When I realized that I am happier when he isn’t around.
#14
Image source: [deleted], Ali Pazani
When our power was shut off but he had just purchased a new “fun” car for himself-three weeks after totaling his other “fun” car. I had no idea we were so behind on the bills because he insisted on always being in charge of finances since I “just stayed home and didn’t work”. I opened up my own bank account the next day and put 20 dollars he had given me for groceries in it. Started cleaning houses during the day while my mom watched my kids. Left six months later.
#15
Image source: myonkin, Antoni Shkraba
We went to counselling. First session was productive...we were given "homework."
The second session the counselor asked how we did. When it was discovered she didn't do her "homework" the counselor called her out on it.
We left her office and she said "I don't want to do counselling anymore."
That was when I knew.
#16
Image source: goblinbox, Engin Akyurt
When he demanded that I get one of my friends to f**k him if I wasn't going to do it myself.
He'd been back home, from an out-of-town job, for barely half an hour. We'd been apart maybe two weeks. I was on my period and flooding *heavily*, which I had already told him. But he demanded to get laid anyway.
It turned out I had a uterine tumor, but I didn't know that at the time. I only knew my periods were hell. And so did he. He was there when I bled through two overnight pads onto our friends' white wool sofa in front of an entire Super Bowl party. He was there when my pain was so bad I cried and sobbed and panted and threw up for an hour, and all he did was go back to bed.
He knew something was genuinely wrong, but he didn't care beyond how it interfered with him getting his d**k wet. My pain and suffering were irrelevant to him, and "get one of your friends to f**k me, then!" was the moment I was finally so shocked I let myself acknowledge it.
It was the moment I saw with complete clarity that his selfishness was both total and insurmountable. It was the moment I realized he didn't, and indeed probably couldn't, love me.
So I said, "That's it. I'm done. This is over." And I picked up my bag and walked out the door with only the clothes on my back, and never went back.
#17
Image source: yggdrasil_shade, Yan Krukau
When I realized I did not like the person I had become in the relationship.
#18
Image source: Great7852, Alimurat Üral
When I couldn't pass my licence exam and was really upset and he said "haha loser!"
#19
Image source: insertcaffeine, Tima Miroshnichenko
I'd just come home from another 12 hour shift at work. The baby's diaper was dirty, the house was a mess, the sink was stacked with dishes, and my ex was goofing around on the computer like always. I remember thinking, as I grabbed the baby and changed his diaper, "I can't wait until [ex] leaves for his business trip, he's no f**king help, it's easier to do this alone and not have him AND the baby messing things up." Lightbulb moment: IT'S EASIER TO DO THIS ALONE. Anyway, I was changing the baby, and Ex snuck up behind me and grabbed my ass. He always did that, even after I told him not to. While he was on his trip, I researched marriage counselors. We went to an intake session, voiced our frustrations with the housework (me) and lack of sex (him), and went home. On the drive home, he said, "If we divorce, we can still sleep together casually, right?" And we're done here! Separated within a month, and he never got any from me again. (Happy ending: stayed single for a few years, it was fun, reconnected with an old friend, fell in love and married him, he is kind and respectful and we take good care of each other)
#20
Image source: Teapigs1984, Anastasia Shuraeva
My ex would taunt me with the idea that he would have proposed had I not (insert latest error on my part here). It really hurt as he knew how important marriage was to me. Then I heard via a friend that he actually was intending to propose during our upcoming summer holiday and I just felt dread. I finished it that weekend.
#21
Image source: Dysteech, Pavel Danilyuk
When my oldest daughter asked me why daddy and I hated each other. I didn’t think our problems affected her up until that point and I knew I couldn’t let her grow up in that kind of home.
#22
Image source: MommaTryed38, cottonbro studio
My last relationship ended with her saying the words , " we need to re-home your dog." I have a 12yo Shiba , have had him since he was a puppy . That's my boy , Shiba's can be a handful , but she knew my dog is my kid , I knew right then we were done . Some people will get it , some won't.
#23
Image source: TrickBoom414, Robert Nagy
I hated hearing her car pull in the driveway when she got off work.
#24
Image source: TemptCiderFan, Anna Shvets
When she told me she cheated on me.
There's a lot I can forgive, or at least decide it's not a deal breaker, but cheating is one of the lines where crossing it is an instant one. Even if she was drunk, I don't care, because it wasn't just one mistake. It was a series of stupid mistakes.
She went to a house party with a few friends and got tipsy. Then she started to flirt with another guy. Then she continued to flirt with him for an hour. Then she went upstairs and made out with him, then slept with him.
"I was drunk," isn't an excuse.
#25
Image source: lbeaty1981, MART PRODUCTION
I looked up one day and realized I'd spent 5 years trying to help him stop drinking, and he'd spent 5 years finding better ways to hide his drinking from me.
Alcoholism is a horrible f*****g disease.DE
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