“It’s Not Worth It”: 40 Women Share The Moment They Gave Up On Men

Dating in today’s world can feel like navigating a minefield. With the rise of dating apps, shifting relationship dynamics, and changing priorities, more and more single women are stepping back from the dating scene entirely.

Recently, a Facebook user sparked a heated conversation by posting this question: "80% of single women are no longer interested in dating. They are not even trying. Why?"

Thousands of people chimed in, and the replies offered some eye-opening perspectives on why so many women are putting romance on the back burner. Here are some of the most insightful and relatable responses from the thread.

Image credits: Youranxietyislying2yew

#1

Image source: Jerri Burkart, freepik Because men expect so much and give so little...

#2

Image source: Kris Haley Kizzire, wayhomestudio / freepik Women arnt looking to raise a boy that's supposed to be their partner.

#3

Image source: Aud Chatrin Kristoffersen, user28553442 / freepik I want a partner, not a kid or father figure. A mature grown up man Who has done his inner healing. But I dont think theres a lot of them, so then I stay alone, cause i value myself and my inner peace.

#4

Image source: Kay McDonough, anatoliy_cherkas / freepik Because single women live longer than married women...and married men live longer than single men. That should tell you all you need to know.

#5

Image source: Jenn Smith, DC Studio / freepik Because most men don’t want a partner. They want a maid, child care, chef, and accountant…all while expecting to have someone who works and pays at least half the bills if not more. So they can kick their feet up and play video games with their 40-something-going-on-12 buddies - or drink themselves into a stupor, or whatever else it is that doesn’t involve any responsibility or accountability for anything it takes to run a household. Then they try to make the woman the problem, calling her a nag…too sensitive…too particular…crazy. No thanks. I’m good on my own. If I’m doing everything, I’m not doing it for an additional adult child.

#6

Image source: Dee Toll, The Yuri Arcurs Collection / freepik We are no longer dating out of fear of being alone. It is peaceful and there seems to be a huge emotional maturity gap between men and women. To be single is to be free and authentic. We are not bitter, we are blooming. We are not lonely, we are whole. We have raised our standards.

#7

Image source: Suha-Binte Abdul-Qaium Mollah, Ula Bezryk / freepik My peace is more important than anything.

#8

Image source: Cara Domings, prostock-studio / freepik Women want their independence and they don’t want to be controlled by limited access to resources. We want control over our bodies with 100% sought out consent. To feel valued without having to sell our souls to get that feeling. It’s actually really sad - being in a relationship that is fulfilling and a genuine back and forth allows for a deep understanding of life. But the general male population is sexist and toxic - male chauvinism is pervasive and if you’re not part of the solution as a male, you’re part of the problem. So women opt out. David Nolan replied: wow, there is so much misandry on this thread. Ask yourself why all the good men are taken and why you attract the kind of men you do. Statistically men are more likely to stay single than women, historically it shows they lose out more than women upon separation or divorce. Statistically women cheat more than men, men can go out and try to cheat but fail due to not finding a willing other, women go out to cheat and have multiple men vying for the attention in minutes and they act on impulse. If you think men are the problem I hope you enjoy the rest of your life with your cat. Suzanne Bladey replied: here is a man forcing his opinion where it was clearly not asked for, then to make statements that are meant to sound like facts but are just his personal opinion shows why women think men are arrogant and can't get over themselves enough to see they are the issue is really case and point. Thanks for being the example that shows that men can't take the criticism in real life or online.

#9

Image source: Eden Miller, marymarkevich / freepik Because being alone doesn’t mean I’m lonely.

#10

Image source: Sarah Keller, freepik Because we’ve realized we can get the same energy from a cat — minimal communication, random mood swings, and occasional affection… but at least the cat’s honest about it. No mixed signals, no emotional unavailability, just naps and quiet judgment.

#11

Image source: Esther Stump, mimagephotography / freepik 1. Happy being single 2. Don't want to have to answer to anyone 3. I make my own decisions without explanation 4. I get control of the TV remote!

#12

Image source: Aro Bella, jet-po / freepik Too much drama. I'd rather be safe in my peace.

#13

Image source: Jeris Farmer, freepik Men don’t add anything extra to the table we have already set.

#14

Image source: Kat Dwyer, zinkevych / freepik Because I’m exhausted Repeating the definition of insanity Time to learn that the love I give is the same I should receive Amy Madison replied: exactly! I'm tired! I got married young and devoted myself to my family only to be thrown away by them. It's time for me to take care of myself and first. Paula Elizabeth replied: just give all that love to yourself now. Many women were never told to love themselves but now it’s our time Carol Power replied: Amen. Definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. So I quit. Exhausted, just as you said.

#15

The dating pool is full of pee. Image source: Angie Frye Buckner

#16

Image source: Julie Crilly, freepik Sick of being harmed and stalked. Prefer my peace now. Kathryn Larick replied: I literally had one guy trying to break into my house. I took him to court for stalking they didn't do anything. He even jumped at me in the court room on my way out the door. Then proceeded to jog up and down my street constantly afterwards. I couldn't do anything about it. The policeman that came to most of my calls would check on me after the court date. He'd even broke my window trying to rip the air conditioner out of the window. I swear he would have k****d me if he got in. To this day I think he still comes around.

#17

Speaking for myself — it’s not that I don’t believe in connection anymore, it’s that I got tired of calling scraps a meal. I’ve seen what peace feels like, and I won’t trade it for someone who just wants my energy but can’t match my depth. If I date again, it’ll be because someone’s presence feels safer than my solitude — and that’s a high bar Image source: Modern Runes With Ancient Wisdom

#18

Bc most men dont get the help they need. They don't work on themselves to become a better version of themselves. Heck, a lot of them think there's nothing wrong with them and just make excuses or blame us for their crappy behavior, instead of self reflecting and taking accountability. Image source: Melissa Milliron

#19

Image source: Kel Adams, EyeEm / freepik Because men ain't men anymore. I've been a single mom for 16 yrs haven't been with anyone in almost 9 yrs. Lesley Dawn replied: Yesssss..... men are not men...and they don't want to have a mature relationship...they want a mother! Teresa Lewis Smith replied: I've been single since I was 40, just turned 60 earlier this year. Peace feels too good! Laura Spino replied: that is so true. They act like toddlers in a grown up body. So frustrating.

#20

Men largely want to be taken care of. They want a caretaker they can have sex with. I know there are good, mature, dependable, fun men who were brought up properly. I just never dated one. My life was not enhanced by any man - at least not for very long. It is much less stressful to live with a cat. Image source: Kathleen Cooper

#21

Image source: Hiraeth Saudade, The Yuri Arcurs Collection / freepik I prioritize my peace.

#22

It's just quieter. Safer. Calmer. I'm not expected to pour to the point of exhaustion and get so very little in return. Image source: Shannon Harper

#23

Because there is nothing someone else can do for me that I can’t do for myself and I don’t have time for the BS Image source: Ruggy J Freytag

#24

I’d rather come home alone and enjoy my peace. No more cleaning and cooking for someone that doesn’t appreciate my efforts. Image source: Meka Brusso Martin

#25

Image source: Nikki Kloehr, freepik I don’t trust my judgment. I isolate hard and making plans is exhausting and even though I love and would like to spend time with the people I love, for some reason 9 times out of ten I regret making plans because when I finally get the day to myself I feel like I just need alone time. The guilt behind that is real. Protecting my heart from anymore heartache and abandonment.

#26

Image source: Kerri Callum, Frames For Your Heart / unsplash I’m yet to find someone who loves me for me and doesn’t want to change me. It’s even harder considering I have chronic illnesses and an Assistance Dog (I’ve found partners in the past have felt like they needed to compete with my dog); one day I’ll meet someone, until then, I’m open to the universe finding someone for me when the time is right.

#27

I just bought a house that l can live in and enjoy peace and safety. I won't jeprodise that ever again. Image source: Betty Tapp

#28

Peaceful home. Nobody threatening to rip the rug out from underneath me because I dare to have hobbies or success outside of my relationship. Happy kids. Happy dog. Life is just so much easier and more fun without a man around. I KNOW I KNOW *not all men* but plenty of them, okay. The weaponized incompetence is too much. Image source: Julie Bonaduce

#29

Image source: Leah Marie, gorynvd / freepik Because I’m an empathetic person who seems to attract narcissists. I’m tired of having love and let them go, after being the only one trying for so long.

#30

Tired of trying, of compromising and getting nothing in return. Tired of begging for the bare minimum of affection, respect and help. I’m done. Image source: Dimitra Nua

#31

Full control of the remote, no need to pay for sky sports, whole king-size bed to myself, not being asked "What's for dinner" a thousand times on repeat, having a bath without interruption, going out without having to rush because he's bored on his own and phones constantly asking where I am. The peace is fantastic, I can take my own bins out and mow the lawn. Even have a cleaner, apparently it was my job and not necessary to hire somebody for a job I don't want to do. Image source: Shannon Verrent

#32

Image source: Jessie Mayne, Grinvalds / freepik Because I'm not in a position to support myself let alone help support another human being, I won't be a burden on anyone so won't even look into dating until I'm confident in my own abilities.

#33

It's just easier to be on your own and only be responsible for yourself instead of trying to take care of a man who basically becomes another child/chore. The equality between men and women with the responsibilities around home are still greatly greatly lopsided. It's exhausting and creates a lot of resentment. Image source: Chantel Rutledge LeVardi

#34

Because many of us got tired of being the emotionally available ones while men stay stuck in emotional adolescence. I gave love a real shot, more than once, but I won’t beg anyone to meet me at the level I live on. If the bar is on the floor, I’d rather be single and fulfilled than drained by a one-sided connection. Some of us are done babysitting grown men. Image source: Sascha Moyer

#35

Because I'm tired of feeling like I have another child to contend with. Been happier since being single lately. I can do what I want without someone breathing down my neck Image source: Chloe Witmore

#36

Image source: Skye Alexander, yanalya / freepik I used to be one of those women who choosed to die alone, no more dating, partners nothing. I had multiple dv relationships in my life, dad wasn't a great role model for what males should be, and every guy around me were absolutely nothing I'd even consider dating material. I had no exposure of a man that I'd even say "oh he's a good guy, maybe he's out there" so with that, I gave up, there was no hope. Then.... A guy had similar interests as me, love psychology and self help, loves to better himself and has such a strong drive for doing right and teamwork. I gave up on my solitary life.... He was worth it. I'm so glad I did give up tho. I was able to filter out so much noise, and I think that's how I found and was able to accept him. Destinee Spencer replied: yes, my husband came into my life when I wasn't looking. We were engaged and married in 6 months, been married for 4 years now.

#37

Image source: Shannon Smith, ivanglezgar / freepik Because they are constantly disappointed or lied to, they recognise red flags earlier and just want peace (the four main ones I believe are contributing).

#38

The best thing about this is that the shelters will be able to get all their cats adopted. I am all for that. Image source: Pamela Bents

#39

Because unless she finds someone that is more satisfying than living with the peace she carefully curated for her life, she’s not interested in. Image source: Brooke Howell

#40

Probably because we’re simply tired of trying. Image source: Maria Brickert