25 Times People Knew They Were Witnessing A Wedding That Wouldn’t Last

Though weddings are sensationalized by the media as a once-in-a-lifetime fairytale event ending in a happily ever after, we know the reality can be very different. Committing in front of all and sundry doesn’t guarantee that couples are going to stay together in the future. In fact, some wedding guests claim they have been able to predict the failure of a marriage by the events that transpired at the wedding reception itself. Scroll below to read these unhinged stories shared by Redditors on a now-viral thread, explaining the circumstances that led to witnesses concluding the marriage was not forever, after all. 

#1 When the groom shoved wedding cake into his new bride's mouth so hard that it chipped a tooth, bloodied her lip and blood staining her wedding gown. He kept pushing until she tripped over a tree root and fell backwards breaking her wrist. The groom's own father then began to beat the hell out of him. Good times.

Image source: neal144, [deleted]

#2 Arrived at the venue to see a sign announcing "Welcome to [Bride]'s Wedding" and in smaller text underneath "featuring [groom]" they did a ring warming thing where the rings were passed around before the ceremony for everyone to make a silent wish/intention for the couple - I closed my eyes and thought "May your divorce be relatively painless.".

Image source: canyamaybenot, Jeremy Wong

#3 I knew a wedding photographer. His litmus test for whether the marriage would work or not was how the couple handled feeding cake to each other during the reception. With something like an 80% accuracy, if they both shoved cake in each other’s faces and got mad they didn’t last long. If they both shoved cake in each other’s faces and laughed about it they were typically okay. If they both respectfully fed each other the cake they were usually good for a long time.

Image source: Nephite11, Dimitri Kuliuk

#4 At the rehearsal, the groom's stepmother told the bride-to-be that he was a loser who would never amount to anything, then gave the best man—the groom's older brother—money to buy the groom a lap dance and hooker, but the best man/brother went to the bride's hotel room that night and tried to make out with her. I really didn't think it would last at that point, but we've been married 23 years now, so it turned out okay.

Image source: MrsAnthropy, Pixabay

#5 She was clearly in love with him. He was very clearly gay. Neither seemed to want to recognize it but EVERYONE ELSE WAS SURE OF IT. A few years later? Turns out he’s gay and wants a divorce.

Image source: arcanix1981, Jeremy Wong

#6 The groom immediately downed a full GLASS of vodka as soon as they did the entrance. He was staggering, stumbling, weeping the whole time, and she basically had her reception alone. This was September. By Halloween he was gone living in another state with a woman he met 2 WEEKS before the wedding. They had been together for 7 years. This week would have been their 27th wedding anniversary.

Image source: Remote-Obligation145, Nicola Barts He did come back for his belongings a few months later and told her he got so drunk out of guilt and he was too scared to call the wedding (that she paid for) off. I remember it so well because it was the first wedding I ever attended and the ceremony was just beautiful and we (her coworkers) were all in tears about how we all wanted this for ourselves. Then the reception happened and we were all like um no thanks. She was never the same after that.

#7 My husbands side of the family is a goldmine for wedding drama.

Image source: HurrGurr, Hebert Santos One guy married at super young, basically because he got his girlfriend pregnant and it was very obvious that his inlaws were forcing the marriage. One guy married a foreign girl he met at a study abroad program in Russia at the courthouse, no fancy dinner no nothing to celebrate, and had no idea how she could be so heartless to divorce him after she got citizenship. One guy made out with another woman on the dancefloor during the later part of the reception. The only wedding I've been to that had to be stopped mid service by the "speak now or forever hold your peace" clause was when the brides estranged father stood up, who had not walked her down the aisle because he was not much a part of her life, and stated " Father "pastor" I'm real sorry about doing this now but I just recognized where I think I've seen "grooms" mama before...and I'm real sorry "father of the groom" cause it seems ya didn't know, but I think you might be my son, so if I were you I'd get some bloodwork before going on with this here marriage." Turns out the man was right, they were half siblings and didn't know it. Called the wedding off, stopped the romantic relationship and are now happily married to other people but still hang out and invite each others families to family get togethers.

#8 Bride and groom had been together for years and she was hopelessly in love with him and he treated her like dirt. This went on for years with her begging him to get married. Finally, one day, he proposed. I think he said something romantic like "If it'll shut you up, let's get married."

Image source: WaldoJeffers65, Amit Lahav I was friends with a girl who was friends with the bride and went as her plus one to the wedding, which was held on Superbowl Sunday. Early into the reception, the groom and his groomsmen left the party to go to a bar to watch the game. His parting words to the bride were "You know I love you, baby, but I've got 10 bucks on the game." They lasted nearly a year before she got tired of him cheating on her and she finally left him.

#9 When the bride specifically said she did not want to feed each other cake and he aggressively came at her with cake and shoved it in her face hard enough that it was in her hair and ruined her makeup while laughing about it. It also came out later that his groomsmen ate her special gluten-free lunch while setting up for the ceremony and he didn't say anything about it. It was less than a year.

Image source: SailorVenus23, Joel Kramer

#10 When the groom pulled out his phone and started watching UFC at the reception instead of dancing with his wife.

Spoiler: I was the wife. We didn’t last lol.

Image source: Luna_Soma, Andrea Piacquadio

#11 When they announced they were engaged yet had active restraining orders against each other.

Image source: jhdesigner, J carter

#12 I was at the wedding of a couple who I worked with at a restaurant years prior. At one point during the reception, I’m doing shots with the bride and I tell her how much fun I’m having and that she looks beautiful in her dress. She then whispers in my ear to meet her in the bridal suite in fifteen minutes. They didn’t last longer than a year.

Image source: DStew713, Polina Tankilevitch

#13 When the groom, and father of the bride got into a fist fight at the rehearsal dinner. Groom drops the father with a clean right hand. Brother of the bride steps in to defend dad. Him and the groom go at for 2-3 minutes. Grooms father gets involved. Half the wedding party had black eyes and fat lips for the ceremony.

The couple was divorced less then 6 months later. Image source: Punkrockid19

#14 I was a plus 1 at a wedding last year. By the evening bride was soooo drunk and she asked me to help her pee in her dress. I didn’t know her but being a gals gal I assisted. I made small talk whilst she peed and asked if she was having fun etc.

Image source: Hot_potatoos, Mikhail Nilov She went into a weird trance and said: When I walked down the aisle, I was really disappointed that the groomsman I shagged a month ago didn’t turned up. I don’t think she realised she said it out loud. Anyway…the marriage lasted 9 months.

#15 When the bride’s ’work friend’ was having a slow dance with her at the reception and feeling her a**e up in front of the groom, family and friends. She left the groom the day they got back from their honeymoon. And she kept all the presents!

Image source: Mischeese, Andrea Prochilo

#16 When his dad was taking bets on how long the marriage would last with us (the groomsmen). He won the bet at 9-12 months….

Image source: BGOG83, Andrea Piacquadio She was bipolar and decided to stop taking her meds without telling anyone. She attached him in his sleep with a baseball bat because he was congested and snoring. She thought he was a monster. She broke his arm and 4 of his ribs. Two weeks after this incident she smacked his hand with a meat hammer while they were making dinner to “what would happen.” She refused to take her meds and he left. She now has 7 children with 4 different guys. She is ridiculously hot still to this day so guys fall for her c**p and then bail when they find out how f*****g crazy she is.

#17 At the wedding, everyone, even the parents, bet how long the married life will be. The marriage was only 24 hours long! Everyone argued about it and no one won.

Image source: camila_cabella, Jeremy Wong

#18 The groom and his groomsmen did a coordinated "time warp" dance from Rocky Horror Picture Show in the middle of the wedding, and the bride sat there stonefaced the entire time, obviously unamused. Ultimately they were just two very different people. Marriage lasted about a year.

Image source: Hrekires, X L

#19 Had a neighbor who got arrested the night before his wedding in a bar fight. Then, the night of the wedding, walking back to the hotel with his new wife, decided he really needed pizza, so he tried to walk into a local pizza place. It was closed, so he kicked in the door and kept walking. Got arrested 2 blocks down the street. So she spent the night before, and the night of her wedding alone and crying. When they told me this story they were in the process of trying to get pregnant and have since had a kid. They got divorced very recently to absolutely NO ONES surprise.

Image source: CoolHandRK1, Thirdman

#20 I knew it wouldn't work out when the bride made out with my husband on her wedding day in retaliation because I was unable to help with her wedding dress while I was cooking for her wedding reception. She had her mom and aunt with her to help her. She and my brother broke up a few months later and I also don't have that husband anymore.

Image source: Tazz2212, Orione Conceição

#21 When the groom was passionately slow dancing with the best man. The bride was crying, by herself, with no-one comforting her, sitting on a folding chair. That seemed less than a match made in heaven.

Image source: mostlygray, Kampus Production

#22 Was recently out in Vegas and the wife comes back from the bathroom having overheard the following conversation:

Image source: Tabboo, Tim Mossholder Woman 1: "Tomorrow when they say if anyone has any objections you have to stand up and say yes." Woman 2: " why dont you just call it off" Woman 1: "Because everyone is here and I dont want them to blame me" I'm sure everything's fine....

#23 When he was being very serious with his vows and she wouldn't stop laughing. There were a lot of red flags in that relationship. Oh, the he was me.

Image source: Wotmate01, Thomas AE

#24 When my ex best friend was bragging while we were getting ready for the ceremony about sleeping with other men. She said they had an “understanding” when I asked if he specifically knew about it. She said “he doesn’t need to know” I’m all for people having whatever type of relationship they want. But dont make me complicit in your cheating.

Image source: TheBubblewrappe, Yan Krukau

#25 True story: I am the sister of the bride that day. My sister and groom ( her ex husband ), were in the venue after the church ceremony and at some point I noticed that he is not there. I saw my sister looking for him and asked me to look with her. We checked everywhere and I remembered that we didnt check the parking. I was thinking that maybe he is in the car looking for something. SURPRISE, surprise, he was f*****g our cousin in the car.

Image source: glowingstar54, Giona Mason Car was literally shaking and we knocked on the car window and my sister screamed, threw the ring at him and slapped our cousin in the face and ran away. From that day which was 2 years ago, she still didn't come to visit me or our family, and also our cousin went to live abroad with my sisters ex husband. So yeah, I would say if you are getting married and notice that the bride or groom are nowhere to be found, they are probably doing something wrong and save your life from misery and go take a look.