25 Times Women Learned The Hard Way That Their Intuition Was Trying To Help Them Avoid A Nasty Heartbreak

Women’s intuition isn’t a new concept. While some view it as a sixth sense or a superpower, according to neuroscience, it may be heavily rooted in the biology of the female brain that carries a physical attribute that enhances the ability to integrate logical and emotional data.  The technical variables of the sensation can be described as a heightened, often rapid, form of processing that combines emotional intelligence, empathy, and subconscious pattern recognition, allowing women to sense unspoken feelings, danger, or social cues. However, while some women trust their intuition, others may tend to downplay its significance. Below, we’ve gathered a collection of stories from female Redditors sharing the very real consequences they dealt with after ignoring a gut feeling about someone they were dating. If you’ve ever felt those little tingles of warning or heard an insistent inner voice speaking to you that something might be off in your relationship, take heed, as it could prove to be a useful tool to ensure your survival. 

#1

Image source: anon, Timur Weber/Pexels I ignored my gut feeling that he wasn’t tell me the full truth. And in fact, he had a GF who he lived with. Covid times led me to not trust my better instincts. Here I am a year and a half later still really upset over this, but trying to forgive myself because some people are just masterful liars.

#2

Image source: emily_in_boots, Zeeshaan Shabbir/Pexels I was walking alone at night when I was 18. I felt scared suddenly and thought I should run, but I talked myself out of it. That was the night I was attacked by a group of guys. Ever since I’ve always tried to trust my intuition and not second guess myself in those situations.

#3

Image source: myrina27, RDNE Stock project/Pexels I seeing a guy for 3 months, we went into it very fast. After month we were bf gf. He talked about future wedding dates. Holidays that was 2 years in the future. I comprised a lot. He used to bail on seeing me. Never used to communicate enough for me but used to be on his phone when he's with me, constantly talking to his mate. I thought at the time it was normal. But I just couldn't put my finger on it. Then when he went back to work. He it was like week and he just didn't message. I was planning on breaking up with him. Then he said he wanted to talk. I knew then he was thinking the same. We broke up. With my current bf I felt bit anxious but I think that was due to my previous relationships. We took it quite slow and we kept it honest. I feel really secure. He treats me very very differently. Communicates, he doesn't cancel plans. He's a great guy.

#4

Image source: theoryoflethologica, Daria Obymaha/Pexels Until my hard-headed, stubborn self finally learned to trust my gut instincts relatively recently (in my early 40s), no matter the situation, people involved, etc., I ignored almost all of them. From potential romantic interests to buying retail items. The one exception to this was I never ignored my gut feeling about anything having to do with my kids. Now, I listen to my inner self. She's learned a lot more than she realized over the years and through the experiences. ALWAYS trust your gut instincts, ladies or men.You don't have to understand why you have a feeling that you have. But it will most likely be shown to you one day. Be your own advocate for your well-being, mental and emotional stability, future, growth, and more. One way to do that is to trust your instincts. Trust yourself to know you feel that way because you're subconsciously trying to tell you something you cannot recognize in that moment. Know that you matter, you should be respected, you shouldn't have to settle or endure the wrath of detrimental people. You're worth it. You. Are. Worth. It.

#5

Image source: thecountrybaker, Alena Darmel/Pexels That I don’t have to be with him just because he knocked me up. That if I’m venting about my marriage to the pet dog on our daily walks, then there might be something wrong.

#6

Image source: Big-Dragonfruit-2119, Viktoria Slowikowska/Pexels That his coworker was more than “just a friend”.

#7

Image source: anon, Budgeron Bach/Pexels I don't think it's only my gut I ignored but also my ears. They would say something super off and I'd assume it was just a joke or would freeze and not confront the comment. I love the Maya Angelou quote, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." I'm trying to live by that now. I've also come to the hard realization that if a good, healthy and available person likes you, they won't want anything to be confusing or unclear. Actually it will be the complete opposite. Only people who want to use you will cherish and cultivate the fog, miscommunication, and ambiguity of these situations.

#8

Image source: JACCO2008, Grish Petrosyan/Pexels She told me she was on BC after I made it clear I had no intention of ever having kids. After a while I began to notice that I had never actually seen her take it when we would go on overnight trips and such. I dismissed it as me just being a paranoid 20-something and was too naive to know that more people than not have zero integrity and will lie like they breathe. The outcome was that I have a 5 year old about to start kindergarten sitting in the next room lol.

#9

Image source: Sailor_Marzipan, Cedric Fauntleroy/Pexels Anytime the guy doesn't seem interested enough in me (not texting much, forgetting we said we'd hang out on X day, etc), I have ignored it as me being "too needy" or expecting too much in the beginning. Pretty much always ends with them having been thinking it over and deciding we're not right for each other, but because I ignored my instinct for so long I'm way more wrapped up than I should be.

#10

That pang of second thought as I walked down the aisle on my wedding day.. everything seemed picture perfect but it just didn't feel right. At that time a family member snapped a pic, I'm teary in it, like save me. Image source: holdengalsep

#11

Image source: sketchylobster, Andres Ayrton/Pexels Don't marry him. Leave. Leave.

#12

Image source: Rollerager, Anna Tarazevich/Pexels I have ignored my intuition my whole life. This is the first time I am not. It took awhile of figuring out how to listen to myself though. Definitely have to continuously check myself for romanticizing and fantasizing.

#13

Image source: Jammer250, Alan Retratos/Pexels When I was in my 20s, I used to ignore my intuition about being incompatible with someone while getting to know them. I was convinced that if I just looked deeper and took more time to know them, that things would somehow work out. All I ended up doing was wasting time and getting hurt. I learned my lesson the hard way of valuing myself and what I wanted, while seeing people for what they showed me instead of what I wanted them to be.

#14

Image source: goodonlasers, cottonbro studio/Pexels I think I've ignored early gut feelings about every single man I've dated from OLD in the last two years, lol. Hey at least it ends after a couple months or less and I don't end up dating them for four years anymore!!! The last one really took the cake with selfishness and obliviousness. The second time I met up with him he made a comment alluding to my tattoos being "basic" - not in those words, but that was the idea, like oh hoW orIgiNal of you, person from x region, to have THOSE tattoos. Some of my tattoos are indeed related to the region I'm from, because uh, I'm from there and it's important to me? Mine are all unique and specific but most people don't particularly notice that, but I don't care. Many people feel similar love for the region and also have related tattoos, which is great for them if they like it and also affects me in no way. It was so bizarre to hear a man in his 30s take me on a date and then sort of insult me - like he was bullying me in high school. I was so baffled I didn't really have a good immediate response. I didn't fully register how weird it made me feel until later, when I realized I had a gut feeling that defaulting to a "negging" behavior was an ill portent if ever one bopped me on the nose and I oughtta bounce outta that situation. However, he had since then texted me how much he enjoyed spending time with me/I was so smart and pretty etc tho he was shy in person etc... I was like meh ok I'll let it slide as an insecure slip up, or attempt at flirtation that just didn't play out like you thought. could happen to the best of us. Alas, I was right. He was the most clueless, childish, ignorant, self-centered man I've ever dated - but he believed he was vibrating at a higher frequency with his uninterrogated hippie philosophies that reminded me of my world outlook as a sixteen year old. He ended up leaving town to go to a rainbow gathering in colorado, and he left behind a puppy at my house after getting her infected with hookworms. I'll be pissed off at that dude forever, but I kept the puppy.

#15

Image source: gobbityghoul, Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels Kind of a similar tale. Except he didn’t really take me on dates. If we went out, I had to figure out the details. Admittedly we were both homebodies so it didn’t bother me too much. But, at the same time, something felt off about it. Early in the relationship, I tried to end it but of course he came back and I caved. I spent the rest of the year that we were together ignoring my feelings that I wasn’t getting what I deserve. I’m really ashamed which I know isn’t helpful but I’d like to think I’m better at listening to myself now.

#16

Image source: Ijustwanttobeme17 So there was this guy who was so much into me, he kept pursuing me for a few months. I could see that he was rushing into things but then I gave in. I didn’t want to rush into a relationship but he was so genuine. He kept making future plans of us being together. We got into a relationship and guess what? He rushed out of the relationship too post a mild inconvenience. Only if I would have listened to my gut feeling.

#17

Image source: divingrose77101, Marcus Aurelius/Pexels My brain/gut was screaming at me not to marry my husband when I was 20 years old. I listened to my conservative Christian parents instead and ended up with 20 years of ick. For women who have trouble listening to their inner voice, I recommend the book Untamed by Glennon Doyle.

#18

Image source: Cerenia, Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels I’ve dated several men that just weren’t a match. My gut honestly knew all along. It was whispering softly things like ‘Hmm, not so sure about this one. That thing/habit/personality trait of his doesn’t sit well’ However I kept dating them because I wanted to give them a chance and be sure, right? The end result was the same: whenever I had that gut feeling I knew it was the beginning of the end, even before it started. It was all kind of things from lying, not taking care of themselves to things like no humor/not laughing together, not able to hold a conversation etc. My gut knew very well from the first date, but my head was like ‘he seems kind and sweet, I’m attracted, he should be all right’ Ever since then I dated fewer men, but more quality. So I would say the outcome was pretty good! It feels good to be honest and authentic with my self and most importantly: trusting myself.

#19

Image source: anon, Karolina Grabowska www.kaboompics.com/Pexels “He’s not the one.”

#20

Image source: piggirlstarloves, cottonbro studio/Pexels “Move on” I should’ve left a long long long time ago.

#21

Image source: anon, Liza Summer/Pexels I’ve learned that my intuition is often flawed due to years of living with a man who didn’t like me. My gut tells me to expect the worst. There have been several times when I’ve braced myself for a negative reaction and been shocked when it never came. And then my gut says “he’s probably manipulating you/live bombing/future faking” and he’s literally just living like a normal person.

#22

Image source: ManicBarbi3, Juan Pablo Serrano/Pexels “NO.” Met on dating app, FaceTimed for the first time and as soon as we hung up my head said NO. He was nothing less than charming and sweet, could hold a conversation etc. Nothing was “wrong” with him, something just felt “off.” I knew it. I 1000000% knew it and still dated him for a few months and lead to one of the most heartbreaking break ups of my life.

#23

Image source: This_Silent_Tragedy, cottonbro studio/Pexels “His whole family is messed up, I should bail before he gets too attached”.

#24

Image source: visualextension21, Liza Summer/Pexels That he doesn't love me the way I love him.

#25

Image source: JadeFox1785, George Milton/Pexels I was living with someone back in my early 20s. One night this woman came to the door and asked my bf if he wanted to go for a drink. He told her no and she left but I felt some kind of way. He assured me they had only just met because she worked next door and found out she lived in our building. He said it was just friendly. I ended up making friends with this woman and was reassured that she wasn't at all attracted to him. Fast-forward to my bf and I had some relationship issues and I find out they had slept together while I was at work and she hung out with me that same evening. I've never ignored my gut feeling about another woman since.