30 Things These Women Stopped Caring About After Hitting 30
As we grow older, our priorities and preferences tend to shift. The things we once put up with or even pretended to enjoy start to lose their appeal. Recently, members of the ‘Ask Women’ community on Reddit opened up about the things they stopped pretending to like after reaching the big 3-0. One user posed the question, and responses poured in, compiling a list of insights that many found relatable and refreshingly honest.
Reaching 30 doesn’t mean losing yourself; it means finding your true self. For the women in this community, it’s about letting go of what doesn’t serve them and embracing what does. As one user put it, “I’ve stopped apologizing for being myself. Life’s too short to pretend.”
Scroll down to read more insights from the ‘Ask Women’ community. You might just find some inspiration to stop pretending and start living authentically.
#1
Image source: MissAngelicDemise, Edi Libedinsky / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Other peoples kids.
#2
Image source: msstark, Sandra Seitamaa / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Books that I’m not enjoying. I used to force myself to read at least half of a book before deciding it’s not for me, but who has time to waste on something they’re actively disliking?!
#3
Image source: ahamburger34, Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
High heels. I’m not f****n doin it.
#4
Image source: KonnichiJawa, Jack / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Socializing. It was always difficult for me, my “social battery” is extremely short lived. People just drain me, regardless of the setting and situation. I still tried to keep a network of friends and see them on a regular basis, but it was exhausting. After we all naturally drifted apart, I never sought out new friends.
I’m a homebody, with lots of animals, books, and video games. I don’t need anything else, so I’m finally embracing that and thriving.
#5
Live music at restaurants esp when it’s too loud. If I’m getting it up to go be social I want to chit chat with the people I’m with, not try and shout over what’s going on. (I’m a huge music lover and support artists and love to hear music when it’s the point of going out, but if I’m trying to grab dinner with friends and all of a sudden a guy with an amp starts setting up in the corner I’m upset. this is just something I’m a grump about and totally understand I’m in the minority).
Image source: smallsquid13
#6
Image source: hazanbayar, Anna Dziubinska / unsplash (not the actual photo)
I don’t want to be in noisy environments anymore because it gives me a headache. I don’t want to communicate with people, I don’t want to tell anyone something twice (I don’t). My joint pains have increased, I don’t feel as energetic as before.
#7
Image source: ParticularBrush8162, laura adai / unsplash (not the actual photo)
After work functions. I’m a homebody, and I like being with my family more than my colleagues. Having kids means I can get away with saying I’ve got something on with them and no one thinks I’m being rude.
#8
Image source: Bananagirl2689, Curated Lifestyle / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Alcohol! I never enjoyed it nor the effects of it. After 30 I just stopped drinking unless I really wanted one, not because it was the “social” thing.
#9
Image source: StrongFreeBrave, MD Duran / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Passivity, being a ‘go with the flow’ type of woman. I speak up for myself A LOT more now. I didn’t let s**t slide, if stuff bothered me I brought it up, communicated. Just didn’t care anymore. Let them think you’re difficult, too modern, aggressive, too this, too that. They don’t like accountability.
#10
Image source: kdefal, Alexi Romano / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Fashion over comfort. Give me an elasticized waist or give me death.
#11
Image source: tufflepuff, Yunus Tuğ / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Probably realised this more around 35, but I stopped pretending to enjoy spending time with people I don’t click with 🥲 a lot of my husband’s friends are nice people but they’re not MY people, I feel drained hanging out with them. So I’ll still go every now and then, but I stopped feeling obligated to go for every single event.
#12
Image source: perdur, Yunus Tuğ / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Dating! I used to make an effort to go on the apps etc. Took a break because of the pandemic, and then one year I decided it was going to be “the year” where I committed to finding someone; my goal was to go on one date per month.
I went on three dates and was so burnt out after each of them (like would come home and crash on the couch from having to be “on” so much), and finally I realized… why the f**k am I even doing this? I’m enjoying literally nothing about it. And if that means I’m going to be single for the rest of my like… then honestly that is completely fine with me.
#13
Image source: DogMom814, DNK.PHOTO / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Church and anything religious.
#14
Image source: ms-meow-, Alexander Mass / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Male attention.
#15
Image source: rusnerd, Behzad Ghaffarian / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Men and coworkers. I can’t care less and would rather be home with tv show or a book.
#16
Image source: gingergirl181, Lia Bekyan / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Staying for the full duration for social functions. I used to never leave things early unless I had somewhere else to be, and even if I was tired or not feeling it I would still hang around to appear polite.
Now? When I’m not having fun anymore, I peace out. I can get tired and overstimulated pretty easily even among people I enjoy, so now I have no problem calling it a night when I reach that point.
#17
Image source: CerridwenVenus, Jingxi Lau / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Being “chill” about things that truly bothers me. I speak up for myself now more than I did when I was younger. Also, SALADS. 🥗 I’m so done with them. I hate them. 😂.
#18
Image source: QHS_1111, Yunus Tuğ / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Investing in people who don’t reciprocate your energy.
#19
Image source: HersheysWellmade, Faruk Tokluoğlu / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#20
Image source: TemporarySubject9654, Joseph Pearson / unsplash (not the actual photo)
I no longer stay friends with people because of history, or because we have mutual friends. If my friends have a problem with it, I tell them it’s okay for their friends to not be friends with each other. I am pretty well done with putting myself last all the time so other people can be happy while I feel absolutely miserable. .
#21
Image source: sxlor, Peter Kalonji / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Makeup.
#22
Dressing for others. Or rather, trying to consider what others would think of my outfit. E.g. is it girl weekend friendly? Will this cause some people to think I’m seeking male attention? Is it conservative enough for my SO’s family? Is this too tight / too loose, etc.
Now I just wear whatever the f**k I want.
Image source: themonsterbrat
#23
Image source: zzzoom1, A. C. / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Staying out late. I love being home at a reasonable hour.
#24
Image source: Appropriate_Tea9048, Priscilla Du Preez / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Attending bigger group events, aside from rare occasions. I’ve learned to say no more often. If I’m not feeling it, I’m not feeling it.
#25
Image source: Prislv223, Valeriia Miller / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Putting up with friend’s who are their own victims. I can’t support the behavior of always needing to be saved when they will go right back to relapsing, not saving money, constantly couch surfing. Let alone how they will treat me after all I’ve done. Yeah. No.
#26
Image source: Sneakerkeeper123, Fatma Sarıgül / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Changing myself to be a certain way for each person.
Finally got a therapist that made me dig into my past and helped me start doing the work.
Im finally starting baby steps to growing into speaking up, not people pleasing and accepting who I am.
#27
Image source: SeffyBaby, Federica Giacomazzi / unsplash (not the actual photo)
People. I stopped trying to force being social with other people that i clearly didnt care about and knew that they didnt care about me.
#28
Image source: ElleWittimer24, Victoria Romulo / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Talking s**t about my body/ talking about losing weight. I used to participate, but now I just ignore the conversation until the topic changes. I got skinny a few years ago- due to depression and stress- and it took me ages to get back to feeling healthy again, which included gaining 10 pounds. I’m trying to like my body thankyouverymuch and I will not participate in this b******t diet culture anymore. I am officially too old for this s**t.
#29
Being guilted into things. As soon as I realize someone is trying to guilt me into buying or doing something, I shut it down and walk away. It’s 100% manipulation.
Image source: virtuoussimpleton
#30
Designer clothes/items, i felt the need to impress other women and didn’t know any other way, when i got over the need for female companionship i found myself staying away from all the pretentious b******t.
Image source: unwanted-22
Got wisdom to pour?