“Banned From Showering”: 25 People Recall Toxic Punishments From Parents

One of the sad realities of the world we live in is that while things may appear fine on the outside, it can be a different story behind closed doors. People’s private experiences may not always be visible to the world, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t happening.  Recently, a Reddit discussion dived into the sombre topic of painful childhood experiences people dealt with because of their parents. Netizens disclosed traumatic episodes of everything from living in brutally authoritarian households to enduring savage punishments as a form of discipline. Brace yourself though, as these heartbreaking stories may be somewhat triggering for sensitive readers. 

#1

Image source: QuiteGoneJin, Getty Images / Unsplash I would get grounded a lot. And for a lot of kids I think that's pretty normal. But the catch is is my father is military. So his grounding is you go to your room for a week-long increments and everything is taken out of there that could be thought of as fun for you. No posters no books no toys definitely no electronics but I was a kid in the 80s so there wasn't much chance of that. Being grounded for 3 weeks in the summer was brutal. I do recall my best friend standing down the hill out my window so that he could entertain me silently by jumping around like an idiot just to keep me from feeling like I was going insane. Good friend.

#2

Image source: jojo_jones, Jose Antoinne There are so many to choose from... -Being made to sleep in the garage. -Being banned from being a part of the family; Meals in solitude after everyone was asleep, not allowed to be speak to or make eye contact with anyone, not allowed to come out of my room except school and toilet. -Hair cutt off to chin length because I had anxiety and would chew my hair. -Punched me in my 7 year old face " accidentally breaking my nose," because I was mucking around late at night when my cousin slept over. -Grounded for 2+ weeks because parent threw a knife and it went into their new expensive couch, because they were frustrated by their unsuccessful attempts to catch and stab me. Hit me in the back with a whole frozen chicken because I was delayed 10 minutes getting home. -Banned from showering /bathing completely. -Being left alone in a room for so long as punishment, my parent forgot me and went home. -Being excluded from a 2 month international family holiday for talking back. Guess who was the only half sibling in a family with both a resentful parent and an a*****e Step-parent? Though I was always well dressed and made to look presentable to keep up with our wholesome middle-class life. Years later, my mother apologised, explaining she had tried to break me with more and more extreme punishment because I didn't complain or cry when punished, I just accepted it, which she found unsatisfying.

#3

Image source: FaithlessnessWeak800, Rosario Fernandes / Unsplash My mom made us get super involved with sports to the point we didn’t do anything on weeknights but practices for those sports and weekends involved practice or traveling for competitions. If we asked to do something on a weekend we had a time slot for so many hours and it was only 1 day. So if we chose to hang with a friend on Friday night till 9:00pm that was it for the whole weekend. No wonder we all went off the deep end when we turned 18, quit every sport and I hit the bars to party. I’m fine now but man, I missed out on some fun teen years.

#4

Image source: ApprehensiveList8012, halfpoint / Envato Being reminded every single day that I was adopted and I should be happy that they chose me. RKnotofficial: Being adopted does not make you any less worthy.

#5

Image source: Independent_Move_840, Gábor Szűts / Unsplash When I didn't get anything to eat for dinner because there were 10 of us and not anything left after everyone else took food. If I said anything about being hungry because I got no food my mother went nuts. She would scream at me and say I am a liar. Then as punishment she would deprive me of any food and demand I stay in my room or I would get a beating. So I would go days with nothing to eat because the punishment for not getting dinner and saying something was not getting dinner for a couple more days. Having a mother that lies a lot more than me calling me a liar is pretty ridiculous. If I give her eulogy it won't be to talk about how she was a great mother.

#6

Image source: loves_spain, Pressmaster / Envato I once caught a chest cold when I was about 10 or so, except after a few days, I didn't get better. I got worse. It got to the point where I could barely breathe. My mom insisted I must just be lacking in some vitamins, so she forced me to take these massive calcium and vitamin C pills. I didn't get better. Things got progressively worse until the principal at the school actually called her and said "take your daughter to the d**n doctor" and the threat of looking bad in front of someone of authority absolutely scared her so she did. Turns out I had developed asthma and my blood oxygen levels were like 86%. They gave me a rescue inhaler but she wouldn't let me take it until we got home OH BUT FIRST though we had to order a pizza and wait for it to be ready. I still remember fading in and out of consciousness on the way home. Then she finally read the paper and I got to take that inhaler... and it was like the clouds opened up and I COULD BREATHE. It took about 6 months of serious treatment to get my lungs back to something resembling normal. She still insists "it wasn't that bad".

#7

Image source: Awkward-Motor3287, Annie Spratt / Unsplash Both my parents were teachers. I spent the entire four years of high school grounded for getting C's on my report card. No homecomings, no prom, no summers playing with friends. They were flabbergasted when I didn't go to college, even when they told me they would disown me on graduation day if I didn't go. I am now a fifty-year-old man with an anxiety disorder so severe that I literally just s**t myself because I was too afraid to leave my room to go to the bathroom. Thanks, mom and dad for instilling the importance of education in me!

#8

Image source: Neither_Branch_428, Chris J. Davis / Unsplash Being left alone for days with no food.

#9

Image source: Serendipity500, Getty Images / Unsplash My parents took me out of school (7th grade) for vacation. I went to all my teachers and asked for work to take with me. When we came back after 2 weeks, I turned in my completed work. HOWEVER, mid quarter progress reports went out just before we returned, and my grades were bad because I was missing 2 weeks of homework (which I had since turned in.) I was grounded until my next report card (which had all As except for science.) My dad was a jerk.

#10

Image source: blacklaceskull, Andrej Lišakov / Unsplash My step dad would make me write out whatever I did “wrong” a thousand times, or fill a notebook. “I will not lie. I will not lie. I will not lie. I will not lie. I will not lie. I will not lie. I will not lie. I will not lie.” Tough break when art was my passion but my dominant wrist is now cooked from it and I deal with carpal tunnel pain daily.

#11

Image source: Novaddiember, davidpereiras / Unsplash Silent treatment , being ignored by everyone in the family for a period of time, because “ you were lying and didn’t admit to doing so or so , so until you decide to speak the truth no one wants to hear you “ and after days , it turned out it was my cousin who did the “ thing “ , well i never got an apology, but ended up developing avoidant attachment issues that I have no idea how to cure .

#12

Image source: LaughingBob, Yuika Takamura When I was very young my father ran a basin of water and shoved my head into it, over and over, while screaming at me. Not incredibly violent, but traumatizing. However I did go on to be a competitive swimmer! Learning to hold my breath early in life!

#13

Anytime my dad saw me hanging out reading a book he would find a chore for me to do. I started hiding down at the creek with a book and some snacks all day. I still dislike him. Image source: EdgeMiserable4381

#14

Image source: anon, Ashwini Chaudhary(Monty) My dad gave me “taps”. He’s 6’5 and used a fraction of his strength to hit me and it hurt like hell. I will never ever raise a hand to my kids because he swears to this day it wasn’t a full smack but we simply don’t know our own strength as adults on a kids pain tolerance. I knew my boyfriend was going to be my husband when we talked about discipline and he had a similar experience, also stating he would never hit his kids because it f*s them up mentally and I agree, man.

#15

Image source: MyNameIsntFlower, Daria Trofimova 6th grade, last concert of the year, I have a huge solo. I told my mom that I got a sheet to see the councilor the next day (moving into Jr High stuff). She completely misunderstood what I had said, thought it was for her, and beat me from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet with one of those little plastic belts that were popular at the time. Welts everywhere. Then I had to get changed into my choir clothes and go and sing. I begged one of the teachers to let me go to my classroom and grab my “homework” out of my desk, the obliged, and I grabbed a textbook and shoved that paper inside of it. Came home and showed my mom the note, that it was for me and not her. All she said was that I “needed to be more clear” when I was talking to her. All of these years later, when we were still talking, she said something along the lines of “you will never forgive me for that will you?” And I told her “nope.”.

#16

Image source: JenovaCelestia, Jackie Alexander Worst, as in lasting consequences? I was 15/16 and my dad had remarried this woman who was a horrible stepmother. I can’t really remember what led up to it, but I’m fairly certain it was because I was standing up for myself over something trivial. At the time, I was playing in a band that was sponsored by the city I live in. As punishment, she refused to let me go to rehearsals on the regular; it got to the point where I was kicked out (despite it not being my fault) and I was told I could never play for them again. I think she knew that her usual punishments wouldn’t work on me and so that woman kept me from going to s***w me over. I would see her again when I was 19/20, after she and my dad divorced. She tried to be nice and cordial, but I called her a fat toad and gave her the finger. Never saw her again, and I hope she just hopped off to some swamp never to be seen again.

#17

Image source: weirdest_of_weird, Tim Wildsmith / Unsplash I don't remember what I did, but my dad whooped me with a hardback Bible. It wasn't the regular book size either. It was a kids' Bible, which was more of a picture book. It was wide and flat. Whipped me with it, then threw it across the room while screaming at me. He was a psycho when I was a kid. Now he's nearing 70 and likes to reminisce about how good a childhood my sister and I had. I always correct him on it.

#18

Image source: WeirdConnections, Grant Davies My mom would lock me in a room for hours on end. No food, water, or bathroom, and nothing for me to really do in there at all. If I cried too loudly, or god forbid had an accident because I couldn't hold it any longer, she'd come in and beat me. Eventually as I got older I learned to brace the door so she couldn't come in. I'd often run into the room if I knew she was gonna skip the whole process and outright beat me for something. I'd sit with my back against the door, and use all my strength to push my feet against the dresser in there, which worked pretty well considering it was a 45yr old against a 10yr old. _eta: though, this started as a toddler and went on until I was 12 and she abandoned me._ Unfortunately the door was slatted, think like a closet door. A few times she would force her hands through the slats, and she would rip my hair out to get me distracted enough to break in. Of course that only taught me to lean far enough forward so she couldn't reach my head, but that led to her grabbing knives and other long sharp objects, and stabbing me where my back was touching the door. She never made me bleed (really didn't have enough leverage considering the angle) but I often had long open scrapes down my back.

#19

My psychotic mother broke her hand beating us once. Can't say that was the most painful, but it was definitely the most memorable. Image source: PapaOoMaoMao

#20

Image source: Puzzleheaded_Data829, elmizaismagilova / Envato My siblings and I got sent to our rooms without Thanksgiving dinner. The reason? My mom flew off the handle at us because we weren’t cleaning the house to her liking, after we came home from church. That was the moment I realized there was something mentally wrong with my mom.

#21

Image source: KP_Wrath, Kateryna Hliznitsova The one that freaks people out is that I was withheld food and bathroom breaks for not understanding long division in a timely manner for my aunt. That or being forced to clean her entire house and land from top floor to basement while on a time crunch because I broke our hamster’s enclosure while cleaning it.

#22

Image source: Nannan485, A. C. Hard labor. Everything that my dad had to do for the day (for a period of days) I did. Way worse than grounding, spanking, or taking things away.

#23

Image source: Affectionate_Fee4922, Cyrus / Flickr Smashing my Xbox to bits with a baseball bat before slashing the curtains with a knife to prove a point that leaving my shoes by the front door wasn't on. I was 8.

#24

Image source: Optimal_Swordfish780, bondarillia / Envato Not from my parents but from my older sister who used to baby sit me. Drinking a cup of vinegar then being locked in the attic……she was not a nice person.

#25

I can't even list which punishment was the worst. Too many of them left me bloody, and with scars on my skin that I can still see decades later as a grandparent. Image source: Helen_A_Handbasket