25 Of The Most Infuriating Examples Of Weaponized Incompetence Women Have Endured
Women are sick and tired of men using weaponized incompetence as a power play.
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As more and more women gain awareness of the manipulation tactic weaponized incompetence, the more angry examples the internet is filled with. These tactics of pretending to be ignorant are what you would expect of children but sadly, it’s highly prevalent among husbands too, according to women’s findings. Acting like a helpless victim is one of the most infuriating things women have endured and they are no longer silently putting up with this nonsense.
If this behaviour is to end, women need to band together to show men that the bare minimum is no longer acceptable and not appreciated as a power play. Go ahead and scroll below to read a few infuriating examples of what the concept of weaponized incompetence entails, so you know what to look out for so that next time, you can nip that toxicity straight in the bud.
More info: Reddit 1 | Reddit 2
Image source: tinribs79, Sandra Seitamaa/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
My soon to be ex husband refuses to learn to cook so our kid has to cook their own dinner if I’m stuck at work late. He also won’t do the weekly shop, diy, even put washing away. He is flat out lazy and soon he will be single and lazy cause I’m over his bs.
Image source: Greengage1, Erik Mclean/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
I had a friend whose husband claimed to be unable to cook to the extent that he apparently couldn’t turn on the oven and put a frozen lasagna in it. He wasn’t being expected to decide when it was done or anything, just literally turn on the oven and place an object inside. Apparently he was incapable of operating the oven.
He was an electrician.
Image source: MostlyChaoticNeutral, Frank Flores/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
My brother spent his and my entire childhood dodging our parents' extremely basic "how to take care of a house, balance finances, and not starve" lessons because of weaponized incompetence. As an example, mom would have us make our own lunch once we got old enough. Really basic things like soup, or sandwiches, or reheating leftovers. All the ingredients were easy to find and provided for us. She just wanted us to, you know, be able to make a damn sandwich. My brother would go to the fridge, open the door, stare inside it for a few seconds, close the door, and declare he couldn't make lunch because there was no ketchup for a sandwich. So, my mom would say something like, "It's on the top shelf." So, he'd go back to the fridge, open it, stare at the top shelf for a few seconds, close the door, and say it wasn't there. So my mom would say, "It's on the top shelf, on the left." He'd do the same thing. She would have to give instructions so specific that it ended up being something like, "Go to the fridge. Open it. Look at the top shelf. Look on the left side of it. If there is a yellow jar that says mayonnaise on it, pick it up. Look behind where that jar was sitting. The bottle is red." It was infuriating to watch.
Image source: Free_Bingo, Nik/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
My parents are in their late 70’s and they have the typical old school relationship. My Dad worked and my Mom stayed at home and did everything. Even the stereotypical “man stuff”. Lawn mowing, fixing things that broke, just an overall bada*s who gets s**t done. But I digress… Well, my Mom’s work included doing the laundry for the 50+ years they’ve been married. This became an issue last year when my mom had a health issue and was in inpatient therapy for 2 months.
My Dad, who ran companies, said he “didn’t know how to use the washing machine” and wanted one of his kids to come wash his clothes. We said absolutely not. We’d show him how to use it and if he later acted like he couldn’t do it then he was just going to have stinky clothes until our mom came home. It’s a washing machine, not a dang rocket ship.
Image source: ProfuseMongoose, Tracey Hocking/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
My ex roommate and a guy I knew for a decade. We decided that we would switch off cooking/dishes so whoever cooks the other person washes up. My dinners were actual meals, his dinners were ramen or a frozen pizza even though he's a grown man. I would wash all the dishes, he would 'let them soak' then wash them poorly and say "but you're soo much better at it then I am!" We tried just cooking for ourselves but he would hover and "oooh can I have a little bit?" Ever so slowly I realized I was taking over all the cooking and dishes "because I'm so much better at it". It was like boiling a frog and I honestly didn't notice it until he started nitpicking a dish here or there. He didn't last long.
Image source: 1955photo, Ivana Cajina/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
My FORMER boyfriend who couldn't put sheets on the bed correctly, and acted like he had never seen how a fitted sheet was supposed to look. He also gave up when the pillowcase got twisted because he just stuffed the pillow in it.
Image source: LyannaCeltiger88, Ahmet Kurt/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
My ex-husband told me on Friday that he couldn’t pick our sons up from school because he doesn’t know which school they go to..
Image source: Fun-Yellow-6576, Ambitious Studio* | Rick Barrett/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
There’s a post from today where a father says he can’t watch his 4 y/o because he doesn’t know what to do. He’s unemployed and at home. His wife can’t afford daycare and is upset her sister won’t watch the baby because she’s doing online college and “has time”.
Image source: nomdeplumealterego, Blake Cheek/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
My husband (now ex)
Him: (at home) I want pizza.
Me: (busy working) why don’t *you* call it in?
Him: I don’t know how.
Me: just call them.
Him: I don’t have the number.
Me: neither do I, look it up.
Him: what’s the name again?
Me: (still busy at work) really?
Him: I don’t know what to order.
Me: I think you can figure it out.
Him: do they deliver?
Me: no, you have to go get it.
Him: can’t you order it and get it on your way home?
Me: (I need a divorce)
I wish I was exaggerating but I’m not.
Image source: IcyTrapezium, Fikri Rasyid/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
He told me he couldn’t pick up dish soap because he didn’t know where it was in the store.
Sir….
Image source: wednesdayowl, Tina Dawson/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
I was with someone for 5 years and they would only ever cook tenderstem broccoli and steak if ever given dinner duty. I got COVID from him - thankfully we both didn't get it at the same time (his ended and mine started). Not only did I cook for him when he was ill. I ended up having to cook for us when I was ill. I asked him to cook me a meal he has seen me make countless times as I was craving something comforting - he started blaming me for not teaching him prior to when there is literally the internet for instructions. If I didn't cook, I would have had to live off the burgers or whatever heavy c**p he would order from whatever delivery service. Oh and during this, he would wake me up if he ever thought I was napping for too long, not ever considering the fact that I was really ill and not getting enough sleep at night.
This man works in Amazon as a Technical Operations Lead.
Image source: [deleted], Filip Mroz/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
My ex invited me over to hang out. When I got there, he was getting ready to go to an event later that required him to wear a nice shirt. He got out the ironing board, iron, shirt, and said, "OK, here you go."
What?
He asked me to come over to iron his shirt because his mom usually did it for him, but she was at work.
He was 28.
Image source: so_lost_im_faded, Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
My ex. Pretended not to know the vacuum isn't vacuuming when I told him to vacuum his dog's hair. He had a PhD.
Image source: noelcherry_, Ave Calvar/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Im a nurse. Patients who are fully capable come into the hospital all the time and won’t wipe their own a*s.
Image source: 1201_alarm, Natalie Behn/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
My ex took care of himself perfectly well before I moved in. Once I'd been there a while, I took over cooking, which was fine at first because I like to cook. By the end, he acted like he'd never been inside a kitchen before (even though he cooked for himself before I was there). The peak of this particular nonsense was one night when I was just tired and Done for some reason I don't remember, but he deemed insufficient, and he got pouty and whined about not having any dinner. I told him he could fix himself something, whereupon he went to the kitchen, brought back two slices of bread, and ate his bread sandwich at me.
Image source: Ok_Ad_5658, Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
That guy that stopped for at a drive through coffee while his wife was in the car about to give birth to their baby.
Image source: LilMamiDaisy420, Jonas Kakaroto/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
My husband purposefully f***s up whatever task I ask him to do. I started catching on and now when he does it I say things like, “it’s concerning you can’t do this… as an adult.”.
Image source: Dry-Tourist-6836, Monika Grabkowska/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Whenever my dad is left home alone for more than a day my mum cooks food for him in advance so he doesn’t starve to death.
Image source: leafcomforter, Tahir osman/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
My current husband cannot fold clothing and put it away. He can wash it. But it either stays on the top of the dryer in a wad, or on the wool rug in the living room gathering lint.
I have shown him (multiple times) how to fold towels to fit in the cabinet, tee shirts so they don’t wrinkle, and everything else. He can’t do it.
Whatever.
He flew a spy jet around the coast of Russia, and was a commercial airline captain, but he cannot fold clothing.
Sigh.
Image source: becabaro, Alexander Grey/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
My dad. My mom cooks him breakfast, lunch and dinner every single day. Whenever she’s not home, he tries to make her feel bad by not eating anything. He can’t even make himself a damn toast!
Image source: naepalm6, Jeffrey Wegrzyn/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Went to school with a guy who bragged about telling his girlfriend he didn’t know how to tie his shoes so “she would always have to do it”. Never spoke to him again. Probably a m*****rer.
Image source: pbd1996, ian dooley/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
My brother has a high IQ, went to mechanic school, started his own business, sells solar, grows his own pot plants, goes on hikes in the mountains solo, obtained a gun license, and made smart investments in Tesla years ago.
However, he acts incompetent so my mom makes his doctors appointments for him and brings him to the appointments. She also picks up any medications or toiletry products he needs from CVS for him. My dad does all of his laundry and puts it away, does all of his dishes, takes all of his trash out, and pays for all of his bills. When my brother has a problem with his car, my dad makes an appointment with a mechanic, brings my brother’s car in for him, and then takes an Uber back.
My brother is the smartest person I know, and yet, my parents treat him like he’s an incompetent child.
Image source: ARasDeFiga, Nik/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
My ex kept leaving his dirty boxers on chairs. When I confronted him about it, he said "I don't know where the dirty clothes box is".
He had been in my house for two f*cking years.
Image source: [deleted], Faruk Tokluoğlu/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
I had to clean my ex gf’s apartment all the time because she saw no problem with basically living in a litterbox. I ended up managing her finances/budgeting for similar reasons.
Image source: Puzzleheaded_Age6550, FilterGrade/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The IT one above (which was more just incompetence than weaponized incompetence) reminded me of an IT guy at work. I called IT at my large federal agency, because the printer wouldn't work. After an hour I get a notice that the ticket (sort of like a work request) was closed. Not because the printer had been fixed, but because he claimed he couldn't find my office. You know, my office. The one in the corner, where I oversee the rest of the staff on two floors.
I have lots from my first husband, but I prefer not to think of those.
#1
Image source: tinribs79, Sandra Seitamaa/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
My soon to be ex husband refuses to learn to cook so our kid has to cook their own dinner if I’m stuck at work late. He also won’t do the weekly shop, diy, even put washing away. He is flat out lazy and soon he will be single and lazy cause I’m over his bs.
#2
Image source: Greengage1, Erik Mclean/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
I had a friend whose husband claimed to be unable to cook to the extent that he apparently couldn’t turn on the oven and put a frozen lasagna in it. He wasn’t being expected to decide when it was done or anything, just literally turn on the oven and place an object inside. Apparently he was incapable of operating the oven.
He was an electrician.
#3
Image source: MostlyChaoticNeutral, Frank Flores/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
My brother spent his and my entire childhood dodging our parents' extremely basic "how to take care of a house, balance finances, and not starve" lessons because of weaponized incompetence. As an example, mom would have us make our own lunch once we got old enough. Really basic things like soup, or sandwiches, or reheating leftovers. All the ingredients were easy to find and provided for us. She just wanted us to, you know, be able to make a damn sandwich. My brother would go to the fridge, open the door, stare inside it for a few seconds, close the door, and declare he couldn't make lunch because there was no ketchup for a sandwich. So, my mom would say something like, "It's on the top shelf." So, he'd go back to the fridge, open it, stare at the top shelf for a few seconds, close the door, and say it wasn't there. So my mom would say, "It's on the top shelf, on the left." He'd do the same thing. She would have to give instructions so specific that it ended up being something like, "Go to the fridge. Open it. Look at the top shelf. Look on the left side of it. If there is a yellow jar that says mayonnaise on it, pick it up. Look behind where that jar was sitting. The bottle is red." It was infuriating to watch.
#4
Image source: Free_Bingo, Nik/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
My parents are in their late 70’s and they have the typical old school relationship. My Dad worked and my Mom stayed at home and did everything. Even the stereotypical “man stuff”. Lawn mowing, fixing things that broke, just an overall bada*s who gets s**t done. But I digress… Well, my Mom’s work included doing the laundry for the 50+ years they’ve been married. This became an issue last year when my mom had a health issue and was in inpatient therapy for 2 months.
My Dad, who ran companies, said he “didn’t know how to use the washing machine” and wanted one of his kids to come wash his clothes. We said absolutely not. We’d show him how to use it and if he later acted like he couldn’t do it then he was just going to have stinky clothes until our mom came home. It’s a washing machine, not a dang rocket ship.
#5
Image source: ProfuseMongoose, Tracey Hocking/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
My ex roommate and a guy I knew for a decade. We decided that we would switch off cooking/dishes so whoever cooks the other person washes up. My dinners were actual meals, his dinners were ramen or a frozen pizza even though he's a grown man. I would wash all the dishes, he would 'let them soak' then wash them poorly and say "but you're soo much better at it then I am!" We tried just cooking for ourselves but he would hover and "oooh can I have a little bit?" Ever so slowly I realized I was taking over all the cooking and dishes "because I'm so much better at it". It was like boiling a frog and I honestly didn't notice it until he started nitpicking a dish here or there. He didn't last long.
#6
Image source: 1955photo, Ivana Cajina/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
My FORMER boyfriend who couldn't put sheets on the bed correctly, and acted like he had never seen how a fitted sheet was supposed to look. He also gave up when the pillowcase got twisted because he just stuffed the pillow in it.
#7
Image source: LyannaCeltiger88, Ahmet Kurt/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
My ex-husband told me on Friday that he couldn’t pick our sons up from school because he doesn’t know which school they go to..
#8
Image source: Fun-Yellow-6576, Ambitious Studio* | Rick Barrett/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
There’s a post from today where a father says he can’t watch his 4 y/o because he doesn’t know what to do. He’s unemployed and at home. His wife can’t afford daycare and is upset her sister won’t watch the baby because she’s doing online college and “has time”.
#9
Image source: nomdeplumealterego, Blake Cheek/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
My husband (now ex)
Him: (at home) I want pizza.
Me: (busy working) why don’t *you* call it in?
Him: I don’t know how.
Me: just call them.
Him: I don’t have the number.
Me: neither do I, look it up.
Him: what’s the name again?
Me: (still busy at work) really?
Him: I don’t know what to order.
Me: I think you can figure it out.
Him: do they deliver?
Me: no, you have to go get it.
Him: can’t you order it and get it on your way home?
Me: (I need a divorce)
I wish I was exaggerating but I’m not.
#10
Image source: IcyTrapezium, Fikri Rasyid/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
He told me he couldn’t pick up dish soap because he didn’t know where it was in the store.
Sir….
#11
Image source: wednesdayowl, Tina Dawson/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
I was with someone for 5 years and they would only ever cook tenderstem broccoli and steak if ever given dinner duty. I got COVID from him - thankfully we both didn't get it at the same time (his ended and mine started). Not only did I cook for him when he was ill. I ended up having to cook for us when I was ill. I asked him to cook me a meal he has seen me make countless times as I was craving something comforting - he started blaming me for not teaching him prior to when there is literally the internet for instructions. If I didn't cook, I would have had to live off the burgers or whatever heavy c**p he would order from whatever delivery service. Oh and during this, he would wake me up if he ever thought I was napping for too long, not ever considering the fact that I was really ill and not getting enough sleep at night.
This man works in Amazon as a Technical Operations Lead.
#12
Image source: [deleted], Filip Mroz/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
My ex invited me over to hang out. When I got there, he was getting ready to go to an event later that required him to wear a nice shirt. He got out the ironing board, iron, shirt, and said, "OK, here you go."
What?
He asked me to come over to iron his shirt because his mom usually did it for him, but she was at work.
He was 28.
#13
Image source: so_lost_im_faded, Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
My ex. Pretended not to know the vacuum isn't vacuuming when I told him to vacuum his dog's hair. He had a PhD.
#14
Image source: noelcherry_, Ave Calvar/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Im a nurse. Patients who are fully capable come into the hospital all the time and won’t wipe their own a*s.
#15
Image source: 1201_alarm, Natalie Behn/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
My ex took care of himself perfectly well before I moved in. Once I'd been there a while, I took over cooking, which was fine at first because I like to cook. By the end, he acted like he'd never been inside a kitchen before (even though he cooked for himself before I was there). The peak of this particular nonsense was one night when I was just tired and Done for some reason I don't remember, but he deemed insufficient, and he got pouty and whined about not having any dinner. I told him he could fix himself something, whereupon he went to the kitchen, brought back two slices of bread, and ate his bread sandwich at me.
#16
Image source: Ok_Ad_5658, Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
That guy that stopped for at a drive through coffee while his wife was in the car about to give birth to their baby.
#17
Image source: LilMamiDaisy420, Jonas Kakaroto/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
My husband purposefully f***s up whatever task I ask him to do. I started catching on and now when he does it I say things like, “it’s concerning you can’t do this… as an adult.”.
#18
Image source: Dry-Tourist-6836, Monika Grabkowska/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Whenever my dad is left home alone for more than a day my mum cooks food for him in advance so he doesn’t starve to death.
#19
Image source: leafcomforter, Tahir osman/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
My current husband cannot fold clothing and put it away. He can wash it. But it either stays on the top of the dryer in a wad, or on the wool rug in the living room gathering lint.
I have shown him (multiple times) how to fold towels to fit in the cabinet, tee shirts so they don’t wrinkle, and everything else. He can’t do it.
Whatever.
He flew a spy jet around the coast of Russia, and was a commercial airline captain, but he cannot fold clothing.
Sigh.
#20
Image source: becabaro, Alexander Grey/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
My dad. My mom cooks him breakfast, lunch and dinner every single day. Whenever she’s not home, he tries to make her feel bad by not eating anything. He can’t even make himself a damn toast!
#21
Image source: naepalm6, Jeffrey Wegrzyn/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Went to school with a guy who bragged about telling his girlfriend he didn’t know how to tie his shoes so “she would always have to do it”. Never spoke to him again. Probably a m*****rer.
#22
Image source: pbd1996, ian dooley/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
My brother has a high IQ, went to mechanic school, started his own business, sells solar, grows his own pot plants, goes on hikes in the mountains solo, obtained a gun license, and made smart investments in Tesla years ago.
However, he acts incompetent so my mom makes his doctors appointments for him and brings him to the appointments. She also picks up any medications or toiletry products he needs from CVS for him. My dad does all of his laundry and puts it away, does all of his dishes, takes all of his trash out, and pays for all of his bills. When my brother has a problem with his car, my dad makes an appointment with a mechanic, brings my brother’s car in for him, and then takes an Uber back.
My brother is the smartest person I know, and yet, my parents treat him like he’s an incompetent child.
#23
Image source: ARasDeFiga, Nik/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
My ex kept leaving his dirty boxers on chairs. When I confronted him about it, he said "I don't know where the dirty clothes box is".
He had been in my house for two f*cking years.
#24
Image source: [deleted], Faruk Tokluoğlu/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
I had to clean my ex gf’s apartment all the time because she saw no problem with basically living in a litterbox. I ended up managing her finances/budgeting for similar reasons.
#25
Image source: Puzzleheaded_Age6550, FilterGrade/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The IT one above (which was more just incompetence than weaponized incompetence) reminded me of an IT guy at work. I called IT at my large federal agency, because the printer wouldn't work. After an hour I get a notice that the ticket (sort of like a work request) was closed. Not because the printer had been fixed, but because he claimed he couldn't find my office. You know, my office. The one in the corner, where I oversee the rest of the staff on two floors.
I have lots from my first husband, but I prefer not to think of those.DE
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