25 Deep Regrets People Find Still Haunt Them To This Day

Regrets are not unusual in our lives, especially because hindsight is 20/20. There are some regrets we all come to terms with after a certain amount of time has passed. Little things we wish we had done differently, but understand we could do nothing about now and eventually we forget about them. But some regrets are so deep and big that they leave a lasting impact that can haunt someone for decades. So when a recent question popped up online asking, “What is your biggest regret in life?” folks shared some moving tales in response. More info: Quora

#1

Image source: Margaret Zahn, Andras Vas / unsplash (not the actual photo) When I was in my late 20s, my husband and I were living in St. Paul, MN. Around dusk one late autumn day we pulled up to a convenience store and I my husband ran in to purchase something while I waited in the car. It was a chilly evening and a cold drizzle was turning into a rain storm. I noticed a girl, about 15 or 16, shivering under the building's eaves trying to avoid the now driving rain. She wasn't wearing a coat and her jeans and t-shirt were soiled and raggedy. I tried to see her more clearly through the wet windshield and it looked as though there might be bruises on one side of her face and that she was bleeding from a cut on her lip. As I watched, she started to cry. I struggled with a profound desire to help this girl and an equally strong fear of not knowing what to do. I sat rooted in my warm, dry car unable to make the decision to get out and approach her. Then my husband returned. I couldn't even articulate to him the moral impass I was in. He started the car and we proceeded on our way. The memory of that young woman huddled against the plate glass storefront, looking utterly alone and bone-cold has haunted me for 40 years. How many evenings have I gone to bed wondering what was going on with her and what became of her? How my times have I asked myself what stopped me from getting out of the car? Perhaps I should not consider this as something to regret as it deeply affected the rest of my life. I am a much more empathetic person than I might have otherwise been and have never allowed myself to fear helping another person again. But still, I DO truly regret not going out into the rain that evening.

#2

Image source: Diana Watton, DANNY G / unsplash (Not the actual photo) I was in complete shock at the sudden death of my firstborn son at the age of 22. He left behind a one year-old son who does not remember him and a pregnant wife who had a daughter who never knew him. My greatest regret is that I did not offer his organs to save the lives of others. My son was the epitome of good health When he drowned. To save time and distance to cross a creek at rock State Park, Maryland he leapt from one bolder to another, slipped on the mass of the second boulder and became jammed between the two. It was spring runoff from the mountains and the water was flowing fast and furious over his head as the boulders held him. His Very healthy organs could have saved many lives. Even though the autopsy report said death by drowning he did not drowned he died of a severe asthma attack because the water was 32° and had not frozen because it was flowing so rapidly. Even his lungs could have saved another life. I will never forgive myself for not offering his organs to others.

#3

Image source: Deepak Yewle, Artyom Kulakov / pexels (not the actual photo) The day I did not help an accident survivor. This happened outside of Aarey colony on Western Express Highway in Mumbai. There were these riders on highway riding like it's their last day on earth. I was just noticing them from the signal and the rider could not control the vehicle when a bus hit the brakes. This bike straight up dashed into the bus. The crash was so hard and straight that the bikes front part made a dent in the bus and got stuck in it like as if it's parked on the main stand. The boys the vehicle also did not fall from the bike and that made me assume it was not a fatal accident. However, I still went over there to check on them. As I moved closer I noticed none of them were wearing a helmet. Ahh, riding like crazy, that too without a helmet, you deserve it, I said to myself. I reached closer and I noticed something that put me in shock. I saw the rider flat on the fuel tank and a little blood stream coming from a part of his face which I couldn't see. Then I noticed the pillion moving, as soon as I turned to him, he was furiously shaking, more like a stroke I think. He wasn’t bleeding by then, but as soon as I reached to grab him so he doesn't fall from the bike he puked blood. He was still on the back seat but rested on his back looking at the sky. Seeing that I immediately stopped, the people who I thought deserved it, did not. Nobody deserves that kind of pain. I had chickened out. By now, like me there were other people gathered around them but no one was doing anything that was remotely called as help. After a few minutes I heard a loud yet a very low pitched voice. It was a girl asking everyone to move aside. Nobody had called the ambulance. I think everyone knew the evening traffic won't allow the ambulance to reach. She too realized that. This girl straight-up started asking car owners to take them, nobody stopped. Later she did something outrageous. She legit went and stood in the middle of the f**king highway and stopped a taxi driver and with the help of people literally forced him to take these survivors up. To this very day I regret the fact I did not respond like I should have. But remember, next time you see an accident, you act, you f**king act. You don't want to be me in that situation and regret later, because you are going to regret it for years. After that, never have I ever missed helping any one, my conscience is too aware to get away with not helping. I wrote this answer with the only intention of getting at least a single person to act if ever they happen to come across any accident.

#4

Image source: Charles Riley After a year in Vietnam, I came home and met a woman that I really grew to love, and I ended up marrying her. But without realizing I had PTSD, I pushed her and our sons away by drinking and staying away from home so much that she left me. Eventually, my sons also left me, and now I have no relationship with any of them.

#5

I never forgave my wife. My high school sweetheart and I had a son when we were just 17. We got married at 19. At 21 she cheated on me. Because I wanted to stay near my son I stayed with her but I was never able to forgive her. After her infidelity she became a great wife and was always a wonderful mother but still I couldn’t let go of the past. It took many years but we finally divorced after my son was grown. Since our divorce, 5 years ago, I have been miserable. I miss her terribly. We are still friends and talk regularly but I hate that I could never forgive her. I am more unhappy without her than I was with her. I truly wish I could have found a way to get over it while we were still together. Image source: CarlAZV

#6

Image source: Anonymous, ThisIsEngineering / pexels (not the actual photo) My biggest regret in life is choosing a career that my parents wanted me to go into. My parents always wanted me to be an engineer and nothing else. No engineer, no son. That was the situation at my home. As Asian parents do, my parents also were too strict with my career and didn't give me the flexibility to think what I really wanted to do. So, with no other choice I spent 4 years of my life in a degree I never wanted to do. Every day felt like an eternity in hell. You happy dad? There's a degree on your wall now which you can look at for the rest of your life so you can feel pride at dinner table conversations about how you ruined my life. I wasted 10% of my life in a career I never wanted. Now my parents want me to get a Master's degree in the same field and opt for a government job where beauracracy prevails. No, I'm not doing it whether they like it or not. I'm switching careers. My dad loves me, no doubts in that but I don't. I hate him because he was so blinded by his love for me being an engineer and a government officer that he ruined my childhood and my teenage years. I act like I love my parents but I don't. I'm am running two businesses now and those I also started without telling my parents. I'll me moving out soon. Today's humiliation is better than tomorrow's regret.

#7

I have many regrets in life, but the one that keeps me up at night has been hidden for nearly 50 years. This is the first time i have told anyone. Mind you this is a deeply hidden memory of a time when i was a small child so its a bit foggy. How old i actually was is difficult to say but i believe it was before my 5th birthday. I had moved to Minnesota with my Mom, Sister and Step-father. I remember the apartment vaguely, more specifically the bathroom. The bathroom and the screams. I have some memory of the girl who was babysitting us that day. She had auburn hair, thin, tall and so very pretty. She seemed grown up to me, but i am sure she wasn't much older than 15 or 16 years old. I have no idea what her name was. My Mother was at work. She was always at work because my step father couldn't be bothered to work. We must have been playing a game. I don't remember the game, only that we were all laughing and running around the apartment, and then something changed. She wasn't laughing anymore, she looked scared. He pushed her into the bathroom and the screaming and the crying started as he r*ped her. I still hear it. What followed was a rushed escape from the State in our orange studebaker. I can remember them talking about it as we were driving. They talked of him getting in trouble for what he had done. My mom knew and she protected him. My childs mind had no where else to go but my mother and i was scared. At that age i had no concept of what had happened that day in the bathroom. I had no idea what tortures he had inflicted upon her and those that could await me. Most of all i remember the look on her face when he let her out of that bathroom. We locked eyes and i could see her pain. I wish i could have done something that day. I think of her often and hope that she forgives me for not being able to bring her the justice she so deserved. I am so very sorry. Image source: Wanda Hayes

#8

Image source: FunGayGuy, Anete Lusina / pexels (not the actual photo) I'm a single gay man. One of my life's regrets is that I never had children. I don't dwell on the subject because that's water under the bridge, but I think I would have been a great father.

#9

Image source: Jeff Turnage, Sofia Alejandra / pexels (not the actual photo) I lived my parents until I was 32. I lived at home and went to a local college, graduating when I was 23. Got a pretty good job and saved enough money for awesome trips to Africa and Costa Rica. Bought a nice new car. Saved enough money to make a large down payment on a condo when I finally moved out. The part I regret is not getting out on my own much sooner. I’m very introverted, and lost a lot of opportunities to learn to get along with people. I didn’t have to. Sure I had friends and dated, but I never had roommates. I had girl friends, but never a sleep over at my parent’s house. By the time I moved out I was fully in career mode and comfortably set in my ways. I feel like I got a very delayed start learning social skills and learning to push myself to get out of the house. I’m not exactly lonely. I learned to live quite happily by myself. At this point it’s just easier and comfortable that way. I’m 61 now. Never married. Quite honestly I’ve become a self-made hermit. Part of me would like to be in a long term relationship. Hell, part of me would like to be a short-term relationship. At this point it’s just easier not to. I know it’s laziness. You don’t have to tell me that. If I *really* wanted to I could push out of my comfort zone, but in the end long standing behavior patterns are hard to break. Wish I had never established those non-social behavior patterns.

#10

My biggest regret is not inviting my son’s father to our family photo shoot. The photo shoot was a gift from my sister. I guess I didn’t want to ask because I didn’t want to deal with the logistics of getting him and the photographer in the same place at the same time. Logistics was often frustrating with him. Little did I know that he would die that same year. I don’t have single good pic of the two of them together. It would have meant a lot to my son. My son’s dad was only 43 when he died of a heart attack. I thought I would have another opportunity. I was wrong. It’s definitely my biggest regret. Image source: Michelle Frankson

#11

Image source: Akshay Goyal, Andrea Piacquadio / pexels (not the actual photo) There's this girl. She was a smart, intelligent and caring soul. Every summer when we met, she would make sure I was the happiest person on this planet. She would talk to me for hours! She loved me and I loved her back. Two summers back, she called me all of a sudden. She asked,"Why are you not here to see me? Come soon." I had traded my visit for an internship half way across the country, so I coolly replied,"Very soon!" She calmly said an OK, and we hung up. Two days later, she passed away. By the time I reached, her last rites were done with. The girl was my Grandmother. I wish I had gone visiting her instead.

#12

Image source: Mick P, Markus Spiske / pexels (not the actual photo) I started smoking at age 11. I'm now 66 and have emphysema. It's a cruel way to die. There are so many things I can't do anymore without gasping for breath. I'm glad I have no kids or grandkids as there's no way I'd be able to spend time doing things with them.

#13

Image source: Danna Bolat, Samsung Memory / unsplash (not the actual photo) Not taking pictures. Whenever I saw people taking pictures/selfies, I was thinking: “Oh how dumb they are, you have to enjoy the moment not take pictures”. Now I realise that I am the dumb one. I never took my camera with me on any memorable event. Yes, I still can remember what happened but my memory is not perfect and memories do fade. Now I want to remember how my great grandmother used to bake her special cake. How she used to watch my siblings, but I never recorded it, and she is no longer around. I want to remember how my boyfriend and I used to feed squirrels that time we went to Bristol. But I didn’t record it, and now he is not around either. How we travelled around and explored. But all I have is memories that are fading. See, I can’t remember how green was the grass that day in the park in Bristol, or what my great grandma was wearing. I have a vague idea but I want to see how it happened. Now I understand why my dad records everything, but in the past I was ashamed of him taking a camera with him everywhere. I think now its time to record my memories.

#14

Image source: Nawaz Khadar , Volodymyr Proskurovskyi / unsplash (not the actual photo) 4V6I met with a car accident on 22nd July 2015. At that time I was pursuing my first-year MBA. It was my friend's birthday. He asked me to buy some food for everyone. I had my own car at that time so I went to buy the food along with two of my friends. It was around 11:30 pm. We searched for open restaurants everywhere but we were not able to find any, so we decided to go back. I was speeding my car at 120 Km/hr and there was a truck waiting to make a U-turn. I didn’t slow down the car. I thought I can cross the truck before it takes U-turn but instead I hit the truck. After that, I don't remember anything. Next time I opened my eyes, I was inside an Operation Theatre. Both my legs were broken and I unwent two surgeries to fix my legs. As for what happened to my two friends who were with me, the one who sat beside me in the front seat had a fractured hip and the one in the rear seat had minor injuries. After the surgery on both of my legs, I got another shocking news that the toes on both my feet were severely damaged and crushed so they would have to be amputated, so that the infection won't spread to my legs. Then I went for another six surgeries to amputate my toes. It was the hardest time in my life, I was not even able to walk. I was just lying in the hospital bed for almost 6 months while my friends were promoted and going to the second year of the course. I was extremely depressed and sad for the mistake I had committed that day. I was not able to forgive myself for that. Then I and my friend (with the hip injury) got special permission from the college and were allowed to write the exam without attending any classes for six months. Finally we completed the MBA degree with 70% marks. Afterwards, we also got placed in a company through campus selection but I didn't join the job as my parents didn't want me to stay in that city anymore. So I came to my native place and after one year, I got a job and worked for a very less salary, but my parents were happy as I was with them. Now I’m 27 years old, physically fit, and now I run and jump again. I still own a car which I drive by myself everyday to my office. No one can find about my absent toes unless I walked barefeet. I always wear socks and shoes to hide this from everyone as I don't want them to feel sympathy on me. This was the biggest mistake in my life I should have avoided driving at late nights for unimportant things and also should have driven relatively slowly and more carefully. Because of that unfortunate incident, I feel my life's growth slowed down. My two friends who were involved in that car accident are well settled and happily married now. I just wanted to share this with everyone so that they can understand that life is unpredictable and we should always fight back if things don't go in our favour. Life is short, and we should enjoy every moment of it.

#15

Image source: Anonymous, Los Muertos Crew / pexels (not the actual photo) My dad had called me up and he was asking me about my health as I was pregnant at that time. After a while he said he had to disconnect as he had to go for an emergency (he was a doctor ). Before disconnecting my call, he asked me to take care of myself, my unborn child and my mom too. I asked him what made him say that I should take care of my mom too when she was with him. He told me that he just felt like saying it. I told him that I am coming to him and mom in a couple of months and I expect a lot of pampering from him, mom and my siblings for myself and my unborn child. He said that his love and blessings are always with me and disconnected the call. My dad passed away the next day due to a sudden cardiac failure while he still was in hospital attending his patients. I couldn't see him for the last time. I couldn't seek his blessings. Since I was pregnant at that time, I was mildly sedated and kept away from the information until his last rites were performed. My biggest regret: Not seeing my dad for the last time .

#16

Image source: Vani Mishra Long story short, I have a skin condition that results in white patches almost all over my body . All my life ,while in school, I tried my best to hide these white patches which i thought were unpleasant looking . Not with makeup but with full sleeved clothes , hair over my forehead and all other ideas that could hide or camouflage those white spots . With years passed, the urge to hide them has faded now . I wear whatever I wanna wear , my hair is neatly done and not over my face . in simple words , I have grown out of that dark phase when I wasn't confortable in my own skin. Now I am 22 . I recently joined a swimming class for the first time in my life . And we know how swimming costumes are! My arms , legs and my back were quite visible in that costume . The first day when i stepped out wearing that costume , I looked for people staring at my different skin … I looked …and looked but no one seemed to be paying attention . All of them minded their own business . One girl complimented me on my costume and I have been swimming like that since that day without any kind of embarrassment or shame about my skin . I felt relieved but something hit me hard . What about all those years of excruciating mental pain i endured in hiding my spots . No one told me there was no need to hide them . No one told me , there was no need to wear stockings in the month of June . Sadly , I cant go back in time and tell my younger self all this . This is my biggest regret. Atleast . One of my biggest regret . It is a lesson I learnt late . Late like a sailor's message that arrived when the sailor had already drowned . But , if you are reading this and if you are someone going through a similar phase or you know someone who is going through this . Stop them . take a moment to tell them how redundant and unnecessary it is to hide something that is an integral part of them .

#17

Image source: Elena Ledoux, Karolina Kaboompics / pexels (not the actual photo) When my first son was a child, I was a law student and also the sole breadwinner in the family. So, I left him with caretakers and took off. I spent days away from him. Returning home exhausted and cuddling him briefly before passing out. He spent days planted in front of TV in his little walker, not going anywhere, not doing anything. As a result, he suffered a delay in his development that we are now working hard to undo. My biggest regret in life is that I haven’t found a way to both provide for him and raise him.

#18

Image source: Somya Aggarwal , Brett Jordan / pexels (not the actual photo) I made my mother’s Facebook account.

#19

Image source: Anonymous, RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo) Divorce. I was 18 when I got married. It was 1989, I was in love. We got married. He was 19. We welcomed our first daughter in 1990, second in 1991. We felt complete. Life was beautiful. My husband's business was doing great. We could afford a luxurious life with many amenities by God's grace. 4 years later we decided to have another baby. I was pregnant again. This time I wanted to have a boy. I used to pray for a boy. In 1996, my prayers were answered. I gave birth to a gorgeous baby boy. He had my eyes, he had my smile, and he had his father's finger shape. I was happy. One year later, my husband decided to expand his business. He moved his business from the capital of the country to the economic capital of the country. Initially he would come home every Friday and leave on Monday. This stopped after 2 months. His visits reduced. He didn't have any affair, he was very loyal but he made his business his priority. We started fighting. Every time we spoke we only had arguments. This continued till 1999 February, when we decided to separate. I regret it. He bought us a house near our daughters' school. We decided that the daughters will stay with me and he took the custody of our 30 months old baby. I fought for my son's custody but lost. We never remained in touch. 4 years ago, my husband got in touch with my daughters. They started spending time together. He would often meet them and call them. One day my daughters requested him to let them meet their brother. He agreed. I was happy I was finally going to meet my son after 15 years. I didn't know him at all. I didn't know how he looked, what he liked, nothing at all. When I met him, I realised how horrible I am as a mother. Because of my stupid decision it was my son who suffered the most. He was put into a boarding school right away. My husband never met him in all these years. He was busy with his business. My baby was left there all alone. When other children went back to their homes during vacation, my baby had nowhere to go. He stayed there at the hostel. He had to eat horrible hostel food. He never came home for holidays. He doesn't know what a family is. He doesn't know what love is. For 15 years he was left all alone like an orphan, but, my husband sent him money regularly. He was an orphan with money. I never got married after the divorce. I spent my life taking care of my daughters. I wish I can go back in time. I could've stayed there with my husband and took care of my baby. My precious little baby lost his childhood because of me. He deserves a better mother. It wasn't his fault.

#20

Image source: Kasee Sreenivas, Krysten Merriman / unsplash (not the actual photo) When I was a child, 3rd grade to be specific, I found a caterpillar in my garden. I instantly remembered one of my friends saying “Lock a caterpillar in a match box, it will turn into a butterfly after a week”. I loved butterflies. So I ran into my kitchen to find a match box. Found one. There were only two match sticks, threw them away and went to my garden running. Somehow managed to put that caterpillar in that matchbox. I made two small holes on the either sides so that there’ll be some air. Placed the matchbox in a cool and dry place. 2 days passed, I couldn’t stand my curiosity, opened the matchbox to see the progress. I FOUND IT DEAD. I cried a lot but that caterpillar I had killed unintentionally never came back to life. All I had in my mind was REGRET. I eventually learned not to believe anyone blindly. This incident laid the foundation.

#21

Image source: Fredrik Tsinajine Sr. , Ashley Byrd / unsplash (not the actual photo) It’s a simple one that changed my life forever unfortunately. I picked up a shift at work late one night and left my kids with my ma so I could do so. It was usually papa who watched my twins, but he was sick so I asked ma. I mean that’s fine and shouldn’t be a big deal right? I left and all was good, I worked several hours, with a few checkins and no problems. I get home early the next morning to find ma passed out drunk on our couch with Patrick in tub. He had drowned while ma got drunk, and I’ll never understand why she couldn’t have waited a few minutes to start/keep drinking. I knew she was an alcoholic, but she’d gone from binging every day to just on her day off over the last several months and was doing really well with not needing alcohol to function. She went to prison for 4 years and remained sober the last decade of her life before she died. That was her way of apologizing for Patrick’s death and accepting responsibility and blame. I was proud of her for that and though it can’t undo her actions, it made it easier to live with.

#22

My friend called me 2 days before committing a s*icide, I did not attend his call neither did I call him back. It’s been 2 years since that incidence, may be I could have saved him. I was too busy with my new job, financial independence, parties while his love for civil services left him jobless after the college and a under a lot of pressure from the society, as he could not secure a job studying in the best of engineering college. His parents didn’t understand, his friends didn’t understand, I didn’t understand . He spent a whole year in loneliness, in a dark corner in Karol bagh preparing for UPSC, but good days were far. He just couldn’t take the burden any more. He lost the race and quit! I have been in touch with his family for the past two years, they are suffering a lot. One of his sister’s is an IPS officer now after 3 failed attempts fulfilling his dreams to serve the nation. Please I don’t want anyone judging. Please refrain from commenting no sympathies no theories. I am using Quora as a medium to lay some burden off my chest. Image source: Anonymous

#23

Image source: Anonymous, Inzmam Khan / pexels (not the actual phtoto) Not marrying my Girlfriend. We were together for more than 2 years and she was the only girl i know that loved me more than anyone i have ever loved. Her love was unconditional and pure and we were so desperate to marry each other. Somehow we knew we were both perfect for each other and would be so happy together, always. There was only one problem, the problem was me. My family is extremely orthodox and i loved my father so much that i had promised myself that i will marry a girl that he selects for me. Now don’t get me wrong, when my girlfriend and i came close, i explained this very clearly to her. We both were however so much in love with each other that we couldn’t stop and agreed that the relation would end when one of us gets married. Unfortunately i got married first and those months were the most painful of our life. After 8 years and a divorce later, that is the biggest regret of my life.

#24

Image source: Anonymous It was last semester of my college. Third exam. My girlfriend’s Dad was severely sick and was admitted. She has this thing of intuition when something is about to go wrong, and I never took it seriously. This time we were studying and she called me late evening to say, she is getting a strong intuition that something is wrong. I calmed her down and asked her not to worry and focus on preparation. Couple of hours later she called again to say that she wants to go and meet Dad at that very moment. As she was already not able to study for that particular exam, I suggested to study for now and meet him next day, on the way back from exam. Next early morning I got the bad news that her Dad is no more. When she met me the first thing she said is she couldn’t meet Dad one last time before he left. And since then I consider myself responsible to stop her the previous day. It was recently that I confessed this to her and she helped me move on from the regret.

#25

Falling in love all over again to a man I dated and trusted in high school after 25 years. I gave up a wonderful relationship, a beautiful home at the beach, a great job that I had for 21 years and moved to the southern desert to be and marry him. We were married for 20 years and I found out he was living 2 separate lives with another woman and for the last 5 years had been hiding thousands of dollars with his greedy, adult daughter to keep for themselves. Now fighting and going through a divorce and discovering just how evil a person can be. I never stopped loving him and still struggle with not hating him. Wake up every day wondering why without an answer from him. He is still lying about everything and it kills my heart that all those years were wasted and what little regard he had for me. Throughout our marriage, he was always kind to me and when I found out he turned on me and is full of hate. I will never understand the horrible betrayal from a man I adored and would have done anything for. Image source: Human Psychology Facts