25 People Share Stories Of How The Golden Child Turned Out

Having siblings is a blessing—they’re fun, caring, and often serve as built-in best friends. However, when one sibling is treated as though they can do no wrong, it can shape their personality in less-than-ideal ways. Constant enabling often breeds undeserved entitlement, which can become a major obstacle in the real world. The fall from grace can be harsh for the once-untouchable “golden child,” who discovers that adulthood offers little cushioning and even less tolerance for those unwilling to take responsibility or contribute meaningfully to society.

#1

Image source: campganymede, National Cancer Institute

Both my older and younger gc/nsisters (58 & 62) are alone, depend mostly on ndad, no friends & bitterly miserable.

Meanwhile, I am (EScapegoat) happily married for 35 years, having a close, loving relationship with all my children, grandchildren, in-laws.
Been cut out of the will for going no contact and DARING to have a good life in spite of their attempts to sabotage.

#2

Image source: anon, Max Kolganov

She turned into a burnt out, mentally ill, sarcastic woman who can’t be trusted with pills. She is me.

I was the golden child until I started speaking up and called my mother out on her nonsense.

My 20s were messy. I became an alcoholic in my 30s and had a complete breakdown when I was 35 and tried to end it. I got my act together eventually but I was a mess for most of my adult life.

#3

Image source: Positively_Toxic_Art, Getty Images

I was the golden child. It was painful but I didn’t know why. I knew my siblings hated me and wished I didn’t exist. But I wasn’t getting love either- I only got love in situations where it could be leveraged. So I knew I should be thankful because at least I wasn’t the target most the time but I hated being resented for something i couldn’t control.

I am very triggered by feeling like people have uninformed judgements of me.

It has led me to feeling like I’m only worthy if I’m easy going, pretty, funny, kind, and the model daughter. I’m unlearning this now.

I’m also not sure how to deal with the guilt that my entire existence was used to distress my siblings and make my parents look good. Like am I even who I am because I chose it? Or am I who I am because it’s the traits they groomed in me….idk and I hate it.

Where am I now? Realizing that all my choices weren’t my own. I left my career and I’m choosing me. I’m working on healthy and unlearning all the disgusting ways I was used for the adults in my life. It’s rough but at least I know why I’ve been so sad my whole life now. So that’s really the first happiness I’ve ever felt 🩷 and I’m gonna run with it.

#4

Image source: Comfortable-daze, Getty Images

He is still sponging off our parents. Good riddance to all 3 of them. Funny how their precious golden child couldn’t give them the one thing they wanted, which was grandkids. Now it must be like swallowing poison to ask me if they can see their grandkids.

They are lucky I allow my ‘mother’ to see them maybe twice a year on the kids’ decision.

#5

Image source: Kitchen-Apricot1834, Chris

My sister and I switched between golden child and scapegoat throughout our childhood. Each parent would go through moods where one kid was compared to the other and all that. My mother did tend to favor my sister more and never got passed the “this is my little baby” phase with her, so she got away with more than I did. I was scared that my sister would turn out bad because of my mother enabling her bad attitude (stereotypical teenager, thank God she grew out of it and matured the last couple years). Thankfully, she and I realized we have narc parents and don’t let their words really do anything anymore.

#6

Image source: lnn501, Juliane Liebermann

We are twins. She had a pattern of always comparing herself to me in high school and at home, and was only happy when she was “winning.” When I left home for college and she stayed behind due to mental health issues, she self destructed, alienated every friend she hadn’t alienated already, went away to Chile, and came back as a extremist Christian who has finally achieved her lifelong dream of being holier than thou. She spent some time teaching 3rd grade, then left her job in pursuit of being a “preacher.” She believes she can talk to God in her dreams and witches, demons, and the devil is real. She is dysfunctional at dating, making friends, and socializing in general. She has inherited our grandiose father’s “I’m the smartest person in the room” disorder, as well as our covert mother’s “I’m the biggest victim in the world” disorder. She is a very unhappy person and blames me and our parents for her failure in life, despite me being the scapegoat who she frequently bullied. I am doing great and I don’t talk to any of them.

#7

Image source: LittleSqueesh, Getty Images

1-She got married very young, had two kids, then left her garbage husband. The divorce was rough. She had no work experience or education, so she is living with our parents again while she tries to rebuild her life. She’s in college now and doing very well, all things considered.

2- She has never been able to hold a job for long, and she is jobless now. She has had mental health problems. She lives with my parents and does nothing productive. She (maybe because of her mental health) does not take care of herself in any way. She has been in and out of psych wards. Whenever anyone questions her, she threatens to harm herself.

When we were kids, I thought our mom had ruined MY life, but now I see that she has done damage to all of her kids, just different kinds. I got out relatively okay, mostly due to pure luck. I found good people.

#8

Image source: Merfkin, Getty Images

Never learned impulse control or consequences, so spent his late teens and most of his 20s knocking up girls then leaving them while also not being able to hold down a job for more than 6 months or so. Has at least one kid who he completely abandoned for being autistic, who of course is the “Junior” as is tradition with absentee fathers.

He’s a real jerk for that last one, man. I’m autistic myself and the way he just tossed him aside as defective angers me deeply. I was there when he came home from the hospital, I napped with my nephew in his first weeks of life, I held him until he fell asleep when he was 2, and I just can’t understand how he can fail to love him. I haven’t seen him in a long time, he lives with his mother in another part of the country, I hope he has a better father figure than my brother.

#9

Image source: princess-cottongrass, Getty Images

My brother was the GC. He received lots of help from my parents that I didn’t, but he was much more sheltered because he wouldn’t stand up to them like I did. They isolated him, and forced him to be their caretaker even as a kid. He’s a financially successful engineer, but he’s also never had a relationship. My mother is essentially the ultimate ‘boy mom’ and relies on my brother for the support that a partner would normally provide. It’s very creepy.

#10

Image source: Thumper86, Kelly Sikkema

I’m the golden child. Was.

My mom got progressively worse as my relationship with my girlfriend -> fiancé -> wife progressed. I did not handle it well (with either of them). Eventually it got to the point where we just went no contact, it’s been nearly four years since I’ve spoken or corresponded with her, and we were no contact for a few years before that too.

I’m very happy that I chose my wife over my mom. I regret dragging her through hell because I was too oblivious to my mother’s issues – and too weak to properly address them once I saw them for what they were.

#11

Image source: jv711, Getty Images

My brother is the Golden Child and I was the scapegoat. His life has been a mess, with my mother making excuses for everything he does wrong (it’s always someone else’s fault). He cheated on his wife, got caught and she divorced him, and my mother blamed the wife (mother blamed the fact that the wife got them into credit card debt). He’s 50something and my mother is still supplementing his income. One of his sons went NC with him 5-6 years ago. I’ve been NC for 19 years and hear all of this through one cousin, once a year. Being NC is great.

#12

Image source: Illyrianna, Martha Dominguez de Gouveia

My GC brother pretty much paid for his GC status with his life and is a constant reminder to me that, while GCs have it “better” compared to other roles in the family, in the end they’re just as disposable to the narcissist as anyone else. Long story super short when my brother landed in the hospital over an odd spiking high fever, it was more important to my Ns to argue with doctors than to work with them to save my brother, resulting in said doctors making decisions against their better judgment, and ultimately getting the blame for his loss while the Ns are *milking* the hell out of that for victim points.

#13

Image source: solesoulshard, Glenn Carstens-Peters

My younger brother.

He’s still living at home with mommy and playing video games. Unemployed. He’s considered too “odd” to be employed and is now just under 50 with basically nothing. He has no money, no independent living and nothing. He has no credit or at least no meaningful credit. The one job he has ever had was a paper route which doesn’t count because it was NGM and NM did the paperwork, did the folding of the papers, did the planning of the route, folding and bagging the papers and kept the books—and occasionally even drove him around. It was crazy.

At this point, he’s officially messed up. He has no nest egg. He has no long term job or career. No credit history. No work history or resume. He is too old to join the military to ease his way through. He is basically sitting at home and rotting. When mummy finally dies, he may be homeless. He may be starving on the streets because no reasonable person will support him indefinitely with his “I’m too special” vibes. And poor little Boo-boo managed to lose the one silly girl that fell into his lap and so he’s *not* giving mummy her fondest wish of an unrestrained wedding of her dreams or grandchildren.

Boo hoo.

There was absolutely a time when I felt sorry for him and wanted to genuinely help him. At this point, he’s on his own. I don’t believe he can be helped without something drastic forcing him to find a new way. Mummy has always protected him and always made sure he was comfortable and very snugly tucked right there beside her.

#14

Image source: Madrugada2010, Curated Lifestyle

She turned into a listless lump in high school, always waiting for the next directive from her mother. She got no education or training and dropped out of college, which was just a stupid acting course anyway.

The last I heard she moved back home. I went NC with her before I cut my parents off. I figure she’s sitting waiting for the nparents to be gone so she can inherit their house and rent it out.

#15

Image source: searuncutthroat, Andy Quezada

She’s fine. But also has some narcissistic tendencies. I’m NC with her as well, and she and my parents are living happily ever after. In fact, the latest is that my parents are paying for her to remodel her house so they can move in with her in their old age. They can all have fun with that!

#16

My younger brother is the Golden Child in my family. He is a lazy, spoiled adult who was a lazy, spoiled child and teenager. My maternal grandmother loved him best out of all her grandchildren because he was her only grandson. My mother coddled and smothered my brother to the point where he’s never had a girlfriend, has no real interest in ever having a girlfriend, and has panic attacks at the mere thought of thinking for himself and/or doing something that he thinks (knows?) our mother would disapprove of.

Image source: mpurdey12

#17

Image source: elcasaurus, Ferdinand Asakome

He’s 42. My parents bought a duplex so he could live on the other side. He’s supposed to pay rent and so he has a roommate. He just doesn’t pay it most months. They still pay most of his bills. His relationships with women are all very short, mostly because he’s a blackout alcoholic and I can’t remember the last time I saw him sober. He’s a nightmare of a person and I’m shocked he isn’t in prison. He dropped out of college 3 times. At least he can hold down a factory job. He does make decent money but he spends it as he gets it. I have no idea what will happen to him when my parents eventually pass, but happily it’s not my problem.

I run a whole foreclosure prevention program, I’m happily married, I have wonderful friends and I have a lovely life tbh. So much for being the loser of the family.

#18

My brother was always deemed as the genius. While my sister was the scapegoat and deemed stupid. I’d like to say my brother is doing horribly as he is and was an awful person. He’s a raging narcissist, even worse than our mother. But he’s doing fine. Not on his own merit, of course. He never finished college even though he went for like 7 years. He only went to get scam scholarships and other things out of money. Then he had a list of bad jobs, one working in a adult shop. He now works at a law firm. Not as a lawyer, of course. He only works there because his wife’s dad is a lawyer and I think they own the firm.

My sister, however is the first in our family to earn a bachelor’s degree. She has a degree in mathematics. She’s doing well, we both also make disability from our time in the Navy. My brother said he was going to join the air force, but never actually went because he “broke his finger” allegedly.

I’d love to say my sister and I are doing great while he’s suffering. But frankly, her and I still struggle a lot with mental illness and taking care of ourselves. And he seems to be doing fine. Not sure, I don’t talk to him.

Image source: RedoftheEvilDead

#19

Image source: Educational_Bag_7201, Matthew Ansley

Both my oldest brother and sister are the GC, and both of their sons have been in prison most of their lives 🧐😉

#20

Image source: apparentlynot5995, Getty Images

He became a high school dropout, multiple baby mamas, and tried to get a foothold in my house. I’m the eldest, he’s the youngest.

When my husband and I got sick of his mess (whiskey, the constant filth in our spare room, lack of any sort of contribution to household, lying and stealing) we packed up his stuff while he was at “work” and dropped it all at my father’s door. Got an irate call that evening when father got home, screaming at me that it was my turn to take care of the GC and how could I ditch him like that?

Anyway, guess he now lives in a tent and is doing hunting guide work? Hope he left all the lying, drinking behind. I won’t be reaching out to him.

I gladly offer and give support to his children when they want me, which is often.

#21

Image source: surviving-adulthood, Getty Images

Golden Child =/= coddle to the point of uselessness
Plenty of golden children got more help AND better parenting
My golden child aunt is a doctor in a thriving niche specialty. She got both medical school and an international specialization program paid for in full.
My scapegoat mother was encouraged to peruse a useless degree and depended financially on her father till the day he died. Of course they berated her about being useless, but if they pushed her to grow up who was going to beg them for help?

#22

Image source: northernlady_1984, Curated Lifestyle

She has a borderline personality disorder, she’s a stay at home human (she doesn’t have kids, neither does she clean nor cook) but her burned out boyfriends will always provide for her.

#23

Image source: Colemeezer, Ben Iwara

The golden child dropped out of college, married and divorced, has lived most of her life with mommy and daddy and is currently a hostess in a BBQ joint. The scapegoat (me) got a PhD and married a good guy. I’m a faculty member in a medical school. According to my mother, I am a failure and soooo jealous of golden child.

#24

Image source: hardgore_annie, Getty Images

Got into nasty stuff. Got out of there, is an useless POS, living with them and making every day hell. I’m out and NC.

#25

Image source: BloedelBabe, Alexander Mils

I was discarded when I stopped making enough money for my parents to siphon off for themselves.

Now they are focused on my brother, who might succeed in securing a partner and producing a grandchild. I got too old to have kids while I was endlessly trying to please them.