“I Knew Right Then”: 25 Small Gestures That Completely Changed How Women Saw These Men
Reddit is full of intriguing discussions, and when one user asked, “Ladies of Reddit, what’s something a guy has done (intentional or not) that instantly made you think, ‘Wow, he’s different in a good way’?”—the responses poured in. Women shared the little things men did that set them apart from the rest, proving that kindness, awareness, and effort go a long way.
The responses to this Reddit thread prove that being "different in a good way" doesn’t require grand gestures—it’s about everyday kindness, respect, and emotional intelligence. Whether it’s actively listening, handling rejection well, or simply being polite, these little moments leave lasting impressions. Here are some of the most wholesome and insightful answers.
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When my husband was my boyfriend, I noticed that he always acknowledged everyone in the room. For instance, whenever we were in a room with my entire family, he would approach absolutely everyone, my dad, mom, sister, cousins, uncles, aunts, friends, and be able to establish a conversation, and a relationship with them eventually. Even my relatives’ dog knew him to be the only one, that could set aside some time just to pet him.
At first, I thought that my boyfriend is just a social being, which I was appreciative of seeing as how I personally have been always a socially inept, awkward individual, but eventually this gift of his reaped dividends too, as when a close cousin of mine, let’s say, fell in with the bad sort of crowd and was in desperate need of help and support, the only person she felt comfortable reaching out to, was my boyfriend, who was then able to pass word to the rest of the family, and also rescue her.
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Anything that shows lack of ego, or being very comfortable in his masculinity. When my husband and I first met, he wore women's sunglasses, cause the frame was a shape and fun color that he liked. He used to do cheerleading in middle school -- was called gay a bunch for it, but he knew it wasn't a bad thing to be gay and brushed it off. He just liked doing flips and feeling strong-- he also became a black belt in karate for the same reasons. All of those were massive green flags to me.
One of his teachers apparently told him that, while girls that age didn't realize what a catch he was and didn't give him a lot of attention, he was gonna make some woman very happy one day for the exact reasons the girls ignored him in school. And she was so right.
Now, he'll take a yoga class with me. He also makes his own instruments, puts himself between me and danger, and would do anything to make me happy and keep our little family safe. He pays the mortgage, works hard every day, and has strong close relationships with men AND women. I trust him with my life, and I know I will always be his priority. He is a very masculine man, and therefore feels absolutely no need to assert his masculinity or shy away from femininity. Everybody feels safe around him. Except the rapist he punched in the face in college, after he found out about what the guy did.
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We went to pick up our puppy and while I was getting pup settled in the back of the car, I look back and see my guy bent down and thanking the mama dog, promising her we would take care of her baby.
Been married over 15 years now.
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He broke up with me because he was moving out of state for a job and I just wasn't going to be able to follow him. He brought me flowers, snacks, dinner, cards, and I don't remember what else to soften the blow.
When he came back to visit, I was struggling, hard, as in I could barely afford to feed myself. When he stopped by to see me, he had arms full of groceries to stock my fridge and pantry for weeks. He also kept trying to give me cash but I refused. After he left, I found money stuck under something on my counter (can't remember what).
He died a few years later in a car accident.
Chris, you were one of a kind. I'll never miss the opportunity to tell the world what a uniquely amazing human you were.
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I was staying over his apartment for the first time. He went to go lock his door for the night but first said “Hey just so you know I’m locking my door. This is the key to the front door.” He didn’t want me to be alarmed by the sound of the door locking and he wanted to make sure I knew how to get out if I wanted to. It hadn’t even crossed my mind to feel unsafe or need a way out. He just considered how I might feel as a woman in a new guy’s place. I had never experienced a man put himself in my shoes before like that or even go out of his way to make me feel me safe with such a simple gesture.
That was almost 7 years ago and we’re married now.
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I’m a type 1 diabetic and I wear a pump which is basically a machine that helps track my blood sugar and give me insulin accordingly. When my blood sugar gets too low or too high the pump makes noises (a low tone for low bs and a high tone for high bs) my SO figured those tones out.
One night I was sitting on the couch scrolling and my pump signaled I had low blood sugar. He was in the kitchen and without a word being said went to the fridge and brought me a juice box. I didn’t know he knew and it felt really good to feel understood and that someone was actually taking the time to know me and my disability. We had only been dating for 2-3 months at this point.
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I was FaceTiming a guy I was dating. My son, who was probably about 3-4 wakes up upset. I go to comfort him and take my phone with me.
Instead of wanting to hang up, he grabbed his guitar and played and sang for us.
We didn’t make it for unrelated reasons. No animosity or anything. But it’s one of those memories that sets the bar in the future.
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In high school, one of my guy friends who liked me baked me a big plate of chocolate chip cookies and randomly gave it to me one day. I finished the whole plate during one class, and he was impressed and also a bit horrified. I thought it was super cute and unusual for a dude to bake someone cookies.
He and I have been together going on 16 years, married for almost 7. How he baked me cookies is one thing I'll never forget.
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On our first date he showed me around the downtown area of the city he was currently living in at the time. He proceeded to show me his favorite dessert spot and bought me 2 cupcakes. He said, “This one is for your grandma” since I had told him earlier that I was living with her.
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One of our first dates, a teen waitress spilled a whole glass of water on him when it was super busy and she was rushing about. She’s started apologizing with tears almost running down her face and he took the time to console her, not even worrying about his clothes. He gave her a moment to breathe without the other customers by pretending to look busy with her before she went on her way feeling better. I’ve seen too many wait staff get treated poorly but watching him take care of her leads me to believe he’s going to be an amazing father one day.
Image source: nicekona, Wikipedia
I was snipping the plastic ring thingy, you know, that a six-pack of drinks comes in. I know it’s probably a fruitless gesture but….. turtles! I just do it on autopilot at this point. He asked me what I was doing, he’d never heard this before, so I explained.
A couple weeks later, I walked into the kitchen unexpectedly, and totally startled him… while he was snipping up a plastic thingy. Melted.
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When I got my period at his place pretty early on in the relationship he didn‘t make it awkward or acted disgusted, he got me pads and made me a hot water bottle and asked me if i want snacks and made sure that I drank water. The pharmacy was closed so he couldn't get me pain meds but ever since he makes sure that they're always in stock at home. I'm gonna marry him someday. Almost 2 years together and it feels like i met him just yesterday.
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My husband and I have been together for 21 years, so I’ll share an anecdote that made me fall in love all over again.
We were at my husband’s father’s funeral, and we were wrapping up at the cemetery, during the part where people take flowers from the spray as mementos. My husband took a white rose; then walked off about ten yards away. When we were leaving, I snuck a peek at the headstone and realized it was my husband’s baby brother, one who was born sleeping about 35 years ago. He didn’t say anything to anyone or make any mention, but that gesture will live in my memory forever.
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Broke into my house to prepare a casserole and leave a note with cooking instructions. I was a busy single mother and we’d been dating long enough that this wasn’t creepy.
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Had been dating my (now) husband for about a month, maybe 2. One evening I was at home and he unexpectedly showed up at the door, and asked me to come out to his car. He just showed me a piece of wood he’d bought. Turns out he bought it from near my house and as he was passing, he figured he’d stop by and show me. Literally showed me his wood and left. I knew then that he wasn’t trying to play games or act in a certain way like other people I’d dated. That piece of wood is now our coffee table.
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When I started dating my guy he knows how obsessed I am with rocks and beach combing. We live on the beach and I’ll go look for shells for hours and he never complains. The first road trip we took together he took me to the biggest natural rock formation on the west coast. Morro Bay. I’m a grown a*s adult and he never made me feel stupid for my love of rocks and collecting and when we got there he said “I know how much you love rocks so I brought you to the biggest one I could. You just can’t take this one home unfortunately” (something along the lines of that) I start crying immediately because I was always made fun of by my previous relationships for it.
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I had been with my now husband for about six months when we did a road trip down south together. My dad is gone, so my husband never knew him, but he was a huge James Taylor fan and I am too by association. We stopped in Chapel Hill, North Carolina to see Mr. Taylor's childhood home, the bridge named after him, and we hiked along Morgan Creek, which was one of his favorite song writing spots. It was something on my dad's bucket list and he unfortunately never got to do it.
While we were hiking along the creek, I mentioned to my husband that I wanted to bring a rock back to put on my dad's grave. I meant one from the shoreline or the trail.
He immediately ripped his shoes and socks off and waded into the creek, pulling up rocks and tossing them back if he didn't think they were "good enough". Eventually, he held one up and said "This one is Bob's" and trekked back up through the muck to dry his legs off. All for a man he never knew.
I knew for certain that he was the one, and we were engaged a few months later.
Image source: CriticalAd987, Marcelo Chagas/Pexels
He asked me for my consent over and over with every act of intimacy, from s*xting (we were long distance at first) to first kiss to fooling around to having s*x. He led us in mature conversations about our wants & needs & boundaries, and then he followed through with what we talked about. And no matter what I’d previously said I wanted or was okay with, he still asked before acting every single time and would check in with me that things were still okay and comfortable for me even after I would give him consent.
And let me tell y’all, I’m describing a very soft & thoughtful & caring man here. But that does not mean he doesn’t still f*****g put. it. down. on. me. So to even have the example being displayed in front of me of a partner who can be dominant and in control but not ab*sive or dismissive. Didn’t actually know this existed.
We were 27 years old when we met & he was the first man I’d ever met who did any of those things. & now almost 4 years later, he still makes sure I’m physically and emotionally comfortable and safe every day.
Image source: selbeepbeep, cottonbro studio/Pexels
My husband and I had a 7 hour long first date. At the end of it, he shook my hand and said have a lovely night. I definitely would’ve (and wanted him to) kiss me if not more lol. Anywho married almost ten years now.
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I went out with this guy I was newly dating, plus three other friends one time. We went to the food court to eat, and all of five of us had different food choices so we went on our own to order.
Unfortunately my food took longer to make and eventually I saw the four of them (including the guy I was dating) back on the table with all their food.
Finally, when I got my food, I went to our table to see the three of my friends digging on their plates while his was untouched.
I asked, “Is something wrong with your food? Why haven’t you touched it?”
He said, “I was waiting for you”. I swear, I never forgot that moment.
I’m now married to him.
EDIT:
Let me just add that my food took about 5 minutes longer than theirs. I was already expecting them to be eating ahead, and I DIDN’T, nor EXPECTED him or the group to be waiting for me.
It was the gesture of him waiting for me while everyone else was eating that made me feel that this guy’s a keeper ?.
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When we were young, dating and still living with our respective parents, my car motor blew and I didn’t have rides to work. He would drop his car off to me after he got out of work in the middle of the night while I was asleep and walk home so I had a way to work in the morning.
Edit: I say when we were young but we’re still pretty young at 25 lol but we just got married in September after 13 years of dating :).
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This seems small but I dated so many guys who would bring up their exes, blaming them for everything, calling them crazy, calling them names. When talking about past relationships, my boyfriend only spoke about how grateful he was to have experienced love and for the time he did spend with his exes. He spoke with respect about the women before me. I still remember that over a decade later. And it did foreshadow how life would be with him. He's been the most kind, understanding, and patient man to have ever been in my life.
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I had a difficult childhood, and at one point survived on cans of Spam and sardines. I offhandedly mentioned to him how I always keep at least a can of each in my pantry at all times, because it gives me a sense of peace and safety to know there is something to eat. We weren't even dating at the time, I visited on the weekends to help with his garden, but the next time I visited, he showed me the several cans of Spam and sardines he bought in the pantry. He told me he wanted me to always feel safe with him and his home, and he will never let either of those items run out. Been together for a little over 3 years now.
#1
Image source: CalmExchange4524, Diva Plavalaguna/Pexels
When my husband was my boyfriend, I noticed that he always acknowledged everyone in the room. For instance, whenever we were in a room with my entire family, he would approach absolutely everyone, my dad, mom, sister, cousins, uncles, aunts, friends, and be able to establish a conversation, and a relationship with them eventually. Even my relatives’ dog knew him to be the only one, that could set aside some time just to pet him.
At first, I thought that my boyfriend is just a social being, which I was appreciative of seeing as how I personally have been always a socially inept, awkward individual, but eventually this gift of his reaped dividends too, as when a close cousin of mine, let’s say, fell in with the bad sort of crowd and was in desperate need of help and support, the only person she felt comfortable reaching out to, was my boyfriend, who was then able to pass word to the rest of the family, and also rescue her.
#2
Image source: logicalform357, Roger Rodrigues/Pexels
Anything that shows lack of ego, or being very comfortable in his masculinity. When my husband and I first met, he wore women's sunglasses, cause the frame was a shape and fun color that he liked. He used to do cheerleading in middle school -- was called gay a bunch for it, but he knew it wasn't a bad thing to be gay and brushed it off. He just liked doing flips and feeling strong-- he also became a black belt in karate for the same reasons. All of those were massive green flags to me.
One of his teachers apparently told him that, while girls that age didn't realize what a catch he was and didn't give him a lot of attention, he was gonna make some woman very happy one day for the exact reasons the girls ignored him in school. And she was so right.
Now, he'll take a yoga class with me. He also makes his own instruments, puts himself between me and danger, and would do anything to make me happy and keep our little family safe. He pays the mortgage, works hard every day, and has strong close relationships with men AND women. I trust him with my life, and I know I will always be his priority. He is a very masculine man, and therefore feels absolutely no need to assert his masculinity or shy away from femininity. Everybody feels safe around him. Except the rapist he punched in the face in college, after he found out about what the guy did.
#3
Image source: mww12, Pixabay/Pexels
We went to pick up our puppy and while I was getting pup settled in the back of the car, I look back and see my guy bent down and thanking the mama dog, promising her we would take care of her baby.
Been married over 15 years now.
#4
Image source: snarfdarb, Sơn Bờm/Pexels
He broke up with me because he was moving out of state for a job and I just wasn't going to be able to follow him. He brought me flowers, snacks, dinner, cards, and I don't remember what else to soften the blow.
When he came back to visit, I was struggling, hard, as in I could barely afford to feed myself. When he stopped by to see me, he had arms full of groceries to stock my fridge and pantry for weeks. He also kept trying to give me cash but I refused. After he left, I found money stuck under something on my counter (can't remember what).
He died a few years later in a car accident.
Chris, you were one of a kind. I'll never miss the opportunity to tell the world what a uniquely amazing human you were.
#5
Image source: Gregorsamsasneighbor, Alena Darmel/Pexels
I was staying over his apartment for the first time. He went to go lock his door for the night but first said “Hey just so you know I’m locking my door. This is the key to the front door.” He didn’t want me to be alarmed by the sound of the door locking and he wanted to make sure I knew how to get out if I wanted to. It hadn’t even crossed my mind to feel unsafe or need a way out. He just considered how I might feel as a woman in a new guy’s place. I had never experienced a man put himself in my shoes before like that or even go out of his way to make me feel me safe with such a simple gesture.
That was almost 7 years ago and we’re married now.
#6
When my boyfriend (now husband) started dating, and things turned physical, he stopped how things were progressing and told me, "This goes however far you want it to. You say stop, we stop. You say slow down, everything slows. This is about you, I'll be happy with whatever you choose." At the time, he had no idea my only other experience had been through sexual as**ult. Hearing this, and what's more experiencing his sincerity and how he was willing to do exactly as he said and let me set the pace of our relationship, helped start us out in a place of trust. We've been married for 10 years now and I've never been better cared for than I am by him. Image source: No-Counter-1950#7
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I’m a type 1 diabetic and I wear a pump which is basically a machine that helps track my blood sugar and give me insulin accordingly. When my blood sugar gets too low or too high the pump makes noises (a low tone for low bs and a high tone for high bs) my SO figured those tones out.
One night I was sitting on the couch scrolling and my pump signaled I had low blood sugar. He was in the kitchen and without a word being said went to the fridge and brought me a juice box. I didn’t know he knew and it felt really good to feel understood and that someone was actually taking the time to know me and my disability. We had only been dating for 2-3 months at this point.
#8
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I was FaceTiming a guy I was dating. My son, who was probably about 3-4 wakes up upset. I go to comfort him and take my phone with me.
Instead of wanting to hang up, he grabbed his guitar and played and sang for us.
We didn’t make it for unrelated reasons. No animosity or anything. But it’s one of those memories that sets the bar in the future.
#9
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In high school, one of my guy friends who liked me baked me a big plate of chocolate chip cookies and randomly gave it to me one day. I finished the whole plate during one class, and he was impressed and also a bit horrified. I thought it was super cute and unusual for a dude to bake someone cookies.
He and I have been together going on 16 years, married for almost 7. How he baked me cookies is one thing I'll never forget.
#10
Image source: Antique_Piccolo8937, KoolShooters/Pexels
On our first date he showed me around the downtown area of the city he was currently living in at the time. He proceeded to show me his favorite dessert spot and bought me 2 cupcakes. He said, “This one is for your grandma” since I had told him earlier that I was living with her.
#11
Image source: No-Mastodon-1955, Katerina Holmes/Pexels
One of our first dates, a teen waitress spilled a whole glass of water on him when it was super busy and she was rushing about. She’s started apologizing with tears almost running down her face and he took the time to console her, not even worrying about his clothes. He gave her a moment to breathe without the other customers by pretending to look busy with her before she went on her way feeling better. I’ve seen too many wait staff get treated poorly but watching him take care of her leads me to believe he’s going to be an amazing father one day.
#12
Image source: nicekona, Wikipedia
I was snipping the plastic ring thingy, you know, that a six-pack of drinks comes in. I know it’s probably a fruitless gesture but….. turtles! I just do it on autopilot at this point. He asked me what I was doing, he’d never heard this before, so I explained.
A couple weeks later, I walked into the kitchen unexpectedly, and totally startled him… while he was snipping up a plastic thingy. Melted.
#13
Image source: anotsonicebean, cottonbro studio/Pexels
When I got my period at his place pretty early on in the relationship he didn‘t make it awkward or acted disgusted, he got me pads and made me a hot water bottle and asked me if i want snacks and made sure that I drank water. The pharmacy was closed so he couldn't get me pain meds but ever since he makes sure that they're always in stock at home. I'm gonna marry him someday. Almost 2 years together and it feels like i met him just yesterday.
#14
Image source: anothrhumorlessbitch, cottonbro studio/Pexels
My husband and I have been together for 21 years, so I’ll share an anecdote that made me fall in love all over again.
We were at my husband’s father’s funeral, and we were wrapping up at the cemetery, during the part where people take flowers from the spray as mementos. My husband took a white rose; then walked off about ten yards away. When we were leaving, I snuck a peek at the headstone and realized it was my husband’s baby brother, one who was born sleeping about 35 years ago. He didn’t say anything to anyone or make any mention, but that gesture will live in my memory forever.
#15
Image source: safewarmblanket, Vidal Balielo Jr./Pexels
Broke into my house to prepare a casserole and leave a note with cooking instructions. I was a busy single mother and we’d been dating long enough that this wasn’t creepy.
#16
Image source: LorneeBums, Tobi/Pexels
Had been dating my (now) husband for about a month, maybe 2. One evening I was at home and he unexpectedly showed up at the door, and asked me to come out to his car. He just showed me a piece of wood he’d bought. Turns out he bought it from near my house and as he was passing, he figured he’d stop by and show me. Literally showed me his wood and left. I knew then that he wasn’t trying to play games or act in a certain way like other people I’d dated. That piece of wood is now our coffee table.
#17
Image source: Sarahnovaaa, Gabriela Palai.Pexels
When I started dating my guy he knows how obsessed I am with rocks and beach combing. We live on the beach and I’ll go look for shells for hours and he never complains. The first road trip we took together he took me to the biggest natural rock formation on the west coast. Morro Bay. I’m a grown a*s adult and he never made me feel stupid for my love of rocks and collecting and when we got there he said “I know how much you love rocks so I brought you to the biggest one I could. You just can’t take this one home unfortunately” (something along the lines of that) I start crying immediately because I was always made fun of by my previous relationships for it.
#18
Image source: GlitteringAide2361, Anastasia Shuraeva/Pexels
I had been with my now husband for about six months when we did a road trip down south together. My dad is gone, so my husband never knew him, but he was a huge James Taylor fan and I am too by association. We stopped in Chapel Hill, North Carolina to see Mr. Taylor's childhood home, the bridge named after him, and we hiked along Morgan Creek, which was one of his favorite song writing spots. It was something on my dad's bucket list and he unfortunately never got to do it.
While we were hiking along the creek, I mentioned to my husband that I wanted to bring a rock back to put on my dad's grave. I meant one from the shoreline or the trail.
He immediately ripped his shoes and socks off and waded into the creek, pulling up rocks and tossing them back if he didn't think they were "good enough". Eventually, he held one up and said "This one is Bob's" and trekked back up through the muck to dry his legs off. All for a man he never knew.
I knew for certain that he was the one, and we were engaged a few months later.
#19
Image source: CriticalAd987, Marcelo Chagas/Pexels
He asked me for my consent over and over with every act of intimacy, from s*xting (we were long distance at first) to first kiss to fooling around to having s*x. He led us in mature conversations about our wants & needs & boundaries, and then he followed through with what we talked about. And no matter what I’d previously said I wanted or was okay with, he still asked before acting every single time and would check in with me that things were still okay and comfortable for me even after I would give him consent.
And let me tell y’all, I’m describing a very soft & thoughtful & caring man here. But that does not mean he doesn’t still f*****g put. it. down. on. me. So to even have the example being displayed in front of me of a partner who can be dominant and in control but not ab*sive or dismissive. Didn’t actually know this existed.
We were 27 years old when we met & he was the first man I’d ever met who did any of those things. & now almost 4 years later, he still makes sure I’m physically and emotionally comfortable and safe every day.
#20
Image source: selbeepbeep, cottonbro studio/Pexels
My husband and I had a 7 hour long first date. At the end of it, he shook my hand and said have a lovely night. I definitely would’ve (and wanted him to) kiss me if not more lol. Anywho married almost ten years now.
#21
Image source: mllnnlmnmlst, Jep Gambardella/Pexels
I went out with this guy I was newly dating, plus three other friends one time. We went to the food court to eat, and all of five of us had different food choices so we went on our own to order.
Unfortunately my food took longer to make and eventually I saw the four of them (including the guy I was dating) back on the table with all their food.
Finally, when I got my food, I went to our table to see the three of my friends digging on their plates while his was untouched.
I asked, “Is something wrong with your food? Why haven’t you touched it?”
He said, “I was waiting for you”. I swear, I never forgot that moment.
I’m now married to him.
EDIT:
Let me just add that my food took about 5 minutes longer than theirs. I was already expecting them to be eating ahead, and I DIDN’T, nor EXPECTED him or the group to be waiting for me.
It was the gesture of him waiting for me while everyone else was eating that made me feel that this guy’s a keeper ?.
#22
Image source: luckyfinnn, Kelly/Pexels
When we were young, dating and still living with our respective parents, my car motor blew and I didn’t have rides to work. He would drop his car off to me after he got out of work in the middle of the night while I was asleep and walk home so I had a way to work in the morning.
Edit: I say when we were young but we’re still pretty young at 25 lol but we just got married in September after 13 years of dating :).
#23
Image source: Sweetener9709, Kampus Production/Pexels
This seems small but I dated so many guys who would bring up their exes, blaming them for everything, calling them crazy, calling them names. When talking about past relationships, my boyfriend only spoke about how grateful he was to have experienced love and for the time he did spend with his exes. He spoke with respect about the women before me. I still remember that over a decade later. And it did foreshadow how life would be with him. He's been the most kind, understanding, and patient man to have ever been in my life.
#24
When I first started dating my now-husband, I had just come out of yet another relationship where I wasn’t treated well. I’d been with people who weren’t genuine and showed all the classic f**kboy behavior. At that point, I honestly thought there was something wrong with my ability to pick the right men, so I took a long break from dating to focus on myself. Then my husband came along. On our 3rd or 4th date, he told me he had something important to discuss. My mind immediately went to Oh f**k, what’s he about to drop on me? But instead, he said, “I just want to be clear—I really like you. I’m not dating just to date. I’m dating with the intention of marriage, and I want to make sure we’re on the same page.” I was floored. In all my years of dating, no one had ever been that intentional or upfront with me. It completely changed the game. Image source: C_Me_Marie83#25
Image source: antlered-fox, Ron Lach/Pexels
I had a difficult childhood, and at one point survived on cans of Spam and sardines. I offhandedly mentioned to him how I always keep at least a can of each in my pantry at all times, because it gives me a sense of peace and safety to know there is something to eat. We weren't even dating at the time, I visited on the weekends to help with his garden, but the next time I visited, he showed me the several cans of Spam and sardines he bought in the pantry. He told me he wanted me to always feel safe with him and his home, and he will never let either of those items run out. Been together for a little over 3 years now.