25 Times Patients Wished The Floor Would Open Up And Swallow Them Whole

Going to the doctor is something most people find awkward. Explaining intimate details about your bodily functions to a stranger isn’t a fun experience, and it often leaves patients feeling on the back foot. Whether it’s an uncomfortable topic, embarrassing symptoms, or seeking advice on mortifying issues, there are countless reasons people feel ashamed during a doctor’s visit. Consulting physicians may try to ease the tension by making conversation, but that can sometimes lead to even more discomfort.

#1

Image source: MurtianInverder314, freepik (not the actual photo)

One embarrassing moment was during a normal checkup, the doctor was doing the back tapping routine for any soreness because of a history of kidney stones. Progressing towards my sides, he entered the tickle zone, and with as much resistance as possible I tried not to laugh. But I broke and laughed this hideous screech unlike any sound out of my body before, followed by an unpleasant passing of methane. I farted. The rest of the examination was very quiet.

#2

Image source: mocopoco, Anna Keibalo / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

The doctor put his finger up to check all was ok, I made a slight noise and he asked if I was ok. And this is when I said “That’s nice”, instead of “That’s ok”.

#3

I was in the hospital a couple months ago for chest pains and was subjected to many scans and tests because I have a heart condition. I had to be given special medication to lower my heart rate for a CAT scan, but the doctor was cute and every time he walked back into the room, my heart rate would spike. Eventually they had to kick him out. 😂 What else can you do but laugh at that point?

Image source: cocobeann

#4

Image source: Hitz365, rawpixel / freepik (not the actual photo)

Was at a urologist in a hospital and there were a couple of power cuts. Lights dipped out, generators kicked in.

As he’s finishing the examination, mid-sentence, the lights go out again. He gets up and walks out to check on things.

Fifteen minutes later I’m still sat on the bed with my old chap out and pants around my ankles. A nurse walks past the open door and does one of those comedy double-takes.

“….do you…do you have an appointment?”

Turns out the doc _had_ actually finished the examination, and returned to the ward some 15 minutes ago. To the nurse I was just some guy who had walked in and pulled his pants down and left the door open.

#5

I went for a physical when I was 14. At that point I’d had my first period but it wasn’t very regular yet. At school that day it just happened to start, and it started with a vengeance. All I had with me was panty liners and that wasn’t going to cut it, so I ended up going into the bathroom and stuffing my underwear with toilet paper, like you do.

Of course when I get to the doctor she said, “Since you’re a teenager and you’re going through a lot of changes, I like to a check of your genitals just to make sure everything looks ok. Nothing internal, just external.”

So I pulled my underwear down and a ton of bloody bunched-up toilet paper fell out. I tried to pick it up before she noticed but she definitely did. She was cool about it though. Before she left the room she gave me a “goody bag” (just a little bag with a sample of acne cream, candy, and random little toys she gave kids before they left) and slipped a pad into the bag as well.

What a pal.

Image source: anon

#6

Image source: anon, freepik (not the actual photo)

I was 14, my mom was in the room.

Doctor: You’re eating okay?

Me: Yes sir!

Doctor: Do you smoke?

Me: No way!

Doctor: Do you drink?

Me: Yeah, every day.

Awkward 5-6 silence/pause……

Doctor continues to ask questions/fill out forms.

2 minutes later…..

ME: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH you mean drink alcohol?? haha, no. Never….i thought you meant milk or something.

I remember them laughing and my face getting all red.

#7

Image source: mahkree, freepik (not the actual photo)

Not a doctor, but I was taking my cat to the vet and this conversation happened..I’m a new cat owner..

Vet: “okay, so drinking at home?”

Me: “umm I mean socially, but not very much.”

Vet: “no…I meant the cat, is he drinking water okay?”

I was so embarrassed..

#8

Image source: titney, Jayson Hinrichsen / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

I was getting a Pap smear when my doctor said “well, that is a really pretty pink!” To which I replied, “thanks! My husband thinks so too!”

Apparently she was talking about my toe nail polish.

#9

Image source: show_the_maw, Scott Eckersley / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

During a yearly check-up the doc was concerned about my weight. I promised him I’d do better and next year I would be back down to a healthy weight.

Maybe a week or so later my doc saw me at a local pub with a plate of hot wings in front of me and a pint of beer. He was a bro and didn’t say anything but I could see the look of disappointment in his eyes.

#10

First time I had to get a physical for freshman football. The doctor was a very stern-looking Eastern European guy. We do all the normal stuff… then it comes time for the hernia check. I started giggling as soon as the dude touched my balls.

“ZIS IS NOT FUNNY! PLEASE STOP VIT ZE GIGGLING!!!”

At that point, I lost it.

Image source: Ted_Denslow

#11

So I had my son two years ago. Ended up with really low blood pressure and they gave me a lot of fluid. Like a ton. In the excitement after he was born (and without having slept in 24 hours), I forgot what the nice nurse told me when I was transferred to my recovery room that I should get up and pee frequently.

One of the midwifes came to visit me to see how I was doing. She was my least favorite one. I needed to pee. I got up and sat down very quickly because I started peeing the second I stood up. She thought I almost fainted and came over telling me that I needed to be more careful as I blushed and said I was peeing. Stood back up, got it all over her shoes even though I was trying to hold it in. Hobbled to the bathroom leaving the largest puddle of urine I’ve ever seen and still managed to pee in the toilet. And again while another nurse came in to help me back to the bed. Good thing my kid is cute.

Image source: jrogerluv

#12

Oh god. When I moved states to live with now-husband, I was just starting a new job, he was out of town a lot for work, not too many friends, TONS of stress…one night I was home alone and realized I started bleeding…from my, er, backside.

Called my (now) in-laws who live about a mile away and asked them to take me to the ER (had no clue where the closest one even was!)

Got there, was admitted, waiting to see the doc, and realized it wasn’t blood from “back there”…I was having my period. I HAVE NO CLUE why I thought the first scenario, but when the doc came in, I had to explain my misunderstanding/situation…after, oh, 25 years of menstruation at that point. Complete humiliation I got to live through again and again as the hospital bills came in…

Image source: BunnyBunny13

#13

I had to get a shot. The Dr left and a super cute nurse walks in and asks if I’m ready. She’s filling out papers as I undo my belt and turn around. As I’m getting a hip out she turns back to face me and says, “Oh! Your arm will be fine…” So I pull my pants back up and lift my sleeve. To try and recoup I say, “Usually I charge for that but I’ll let it pass because it was my mistake.”.

Image source: dwightgaryhalpert

#14

Image source: Bacon_Piggies, EyeEm / freepik (not the actual photo)

I went to the doctor to treat my soar throat and I agreed to get a shot of penicillin. If you don’t know this shot goes right into the rear end. As he put the needle into my rear end I suddenly had the need to vomit. I wasn’t feeling anything until the exact moment of contact with my cheek. I yell STOP and immediately try to run over to the sink where I proceed to trip and fall. Then I just start letting it all out over the floor. I was just laying there on my side blowing chunks with the needle still stuck. It wasn’t one of my finer experiences at the doctor.

#15

Image source: jeepinfreak, Navid Sohrabi / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

My girlfriend fell off the table at the gyno once.

#16

When I was 13, the doctor saw that I had strep throat. You know that little stick they basically shove down your throat to swab it? I hated that test. When she put the stick in my throat, I had a bad reflex and kicked my doctor in the shin. Hard. Most embarrassing thing to ever happen to me in front of her.

Image source: Kyarixen

#17

Image source: yogachick4, Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Went to the family dr to get a lump in my armpit checked out. The nurse told me to put on a gown so I mindlessly stripped down naked and put on a gown. When the dr came in he had a weird look on his face and said “you really didn’t need to take your pants off…. Awkward!!!

#18

Kind of a different situation, because I wasn’t a patient. But I was finishing charting, stood up and then tried to sit on the rolling chair. I must have slightly pushed it backward because I could only catch the slightest edge of the chair, tried to catch my balance and sit farther back and the chair slid back farther. This went on for about 15 seconds until I fell on the ground. It was so prolonged and awkward, and of course in front of a group of physicians about to start rounds.

Image source: ciestaconquistador

#19

There was a lump… Near my genitals. 15 year old me was very concerned and had to go through the awkwardness of telling my mother I had a lump near my genitals and needed to see my pediatrician immediately.

Pull down pants for Dr who sees my impeccably fresh shaven genitalia, sees the lump, and immediately starts to laugh. I had used a cheap razor to get my nads to shimmer and glisten so spectacularly, which had caused an ingrown hair and scist to form. He took a pen and drew the whole thing out for me on the paper atop the table. Wet warm cloth for a few days to bring it to a head and months of my mother awkwardly asking if I was sure everything was still OK “down there”.

Image source: neatness

#20

Image source: zwergzerg, Elen Sher / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Doctor: “We need to do an ultrasound on your thyroid.”
Young me: “Ok.”
I laid down and lifted up my shirt.

#21

I panicked when a doctor asked why our lung specimen has an incision on the third lobe (accidentally stabbed during dissection) spur of the moment lied about maybe our cadaver died from stab wound in the lung, I said. He replied, as an aspiring doctor next time own up to your mistake instead of making up stories to cover it up. I’m so embarrassed by my action then, I still cringe when I remember. I hate Anatomy class.

Edit: I have nothing but respect for this doctor. Although yes, I would have appreciated if he didn’t do it in front of our group but I know I’m wrong about lying and it’s fair to get called out for that. The value of credibility transcends all profession and it was reinforced to me that day.

Image source: MedschoolgirlMadison

#22

Went in for a regular check up. I have anxiety so I was getting really nervous just waiting around for the doc to come in the room. Everything goes smoothly and she asks to take my blood pressure so I remove my coat and cardigan. At that moment I see that my blouse had MASSIVE UNDERBOOB SWEAT MARKS that went down to the waistband of my jeans.

Another win for the underboob sweat.

Image source: yorkiecult

#23

Image source: anon, Kateryna Hliznitsova / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Not really embarrassing bc my doctor is amazing, but anyway. I went to the doctor when I was around 16. I’d started developing allergies for the first time and wanted to get it checked out. She checks my nose and throat. Yup, that’s allergies. Then she checks my right ear and literally goes, “What the hell is that?” And I’m like “Oh, sorry yeah I get a lot of ear wax.” And she goes “No….. it’s SHINY.”
Back track to 4 days before that. I was a rebellious teen and wanted to stretch my ears without my mom knowing. So, being the smart kid I was I hot glued some pearls to the plugs so they looked like earrings. One morning I woke up and one was missing and I couldn’t find it.

I had to tell her my “earring” broke and I’d been looking for that pearl for days….. She laughed, I laughed, she tried to get it out and couldn’t, had to call an ENT doctor instead. (I ended up getting it out at home later).

TLDR: went to the doctor for simple allergies and ended up having an embedded pearl in my ear.

#24

Image source: moto-chuchu, JSB Co. / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Not a doctor but an optician.

I went for my annual eye test and to get a prescription for the next year’s supply of contact lenses. I usually meet the same optician and he gave me a warm welcome to the big machine that tests your eyes. He started the test and was very surprised to read the results. In great excitement, he came up to me and said : “Ma’am, we have only come across this in theory and I never knew this is really possible. Your power has corrected completely! You don’t need contact lenses or glasses anymore!”

I actually believed him for a moment before sheepishly replying “Are you sure you negated the effect of the contact lenses I am wearing?”.

Turns out I was supposed to take them off at least 30 minutes before testing my eyes, oops.

The man was at loss for words. Not sure if he was more embarrassed or I was.

#25

During a physical I casually asked my regular doctor what a red mark was by my mouth.
He was writing something down and without even looking up he said “you drool in your sleep”.
I’ve always wondered how long he knew that information since he didn’t even need to look at me to answer.
He was right too. My husband just never wanted to mention it. Lol!

Image source: ou814