40 Incredibly Stupid Things People Have Said In All Seriousness

We all have a moment where you end up saying something dumb but you quickly realize it. However, not all people have that moment of realization. Some people may stick to their guns and insist they are correct,  even when dealing with counter-arguments or someone calling them out.

#1 COVID isn’t real. Damnit, I worked in a hospital during COVID. DO NOT TELL ME COVID IS NOT REAL. And especially when I am sick for 10 days with.

Image source: Pianowman

#2 Old co-worker of mine: “Nowadays 12 year old girls get abortions because they think it will make them popular!” He was a f*****g idiot.

Image source: ElboDelbo, Mikhail Nilov / pexels (not the actual photo)

#3 I had a roommate once who was, to put it nicely, not the brightest. Once we were ordering from a takeout place and she asked, “what is goat meat?”

My friend and I stared at her, confused by her question. “It’s goat” we answered.

“No, but like what animal does it come from?”

“Goat.”

“But like, pork is from pigs, beef is from cows, what is goat meat from?”

” A GOAT”

“no, but like…”

You can imagine the rest of the conversation. My friend and I still laugh about this, years later. Not the stupidest thing she ever said, but definitely my favorite.

Image source: Silent_Dragonfly_751

#4 “You’re not really disabled tho”
Just cause you can’t see my disability right away, I can function fine day to day and am not in excruciating pain 90% of the time, doesn’t mean I’m not physically disabled.
Like the bones in my arm are fused together since I was born, I was never able to turn my wrist and it affects about 90% of movements I make with my hand … Sounds pretty physically disabled to me ?‍♀️.

Image source: Fantastic_Step8417

#5 That he didn’t believe Africa was real.

Image source: Sea_Lingonberry3865, Nothing Ahead / pexels (not the actual photo)

#6 A coworker (a morbidly obese fellow) said that he didn’t need to do cardio because he drank coffee and energy drinks. Because those things made his heart beat faster, and that’s all that cardio is, he doesn’t need to exercise. Completely and totally serious to the point that he absolutely could not understand why people waste their time running, bc energy drinks exist.

Image source: WatchTheBoom, Andrew Neel / pexels (not the actual photo)

#7 “No need to worry about lead contamination in our drinking water – we boil it before we drink it.” – my boss at an office based in an old Victorian school building in the UK ??.

Image source: penguinsfrommars, PS Photography / pexels (not the actual photo)

#8 My great uncle continually says “Gay people will raise gay children.”

Last time he said it, I said “Oh absolutely! Because straight people ONLY raise straight children right?”

He stopped talking about it now.

The best part?

He has no idea my Mum is gay, and she raised myself and my brothers alone. My father is a POS. ?‍♀️.

Image source: LadyBladeWarAngel

#9 I’m sure I’ve heard something more dumb but someone once said to me, “Snakes aren’t animals. They’re lizards.”

Image source: EmergencySriracha, Pixabay / pexels (not the actual photo)

When I told him that snakes and lizards are both reptiles and reptiles are animals he said, “Clearly you haven’t done your research.”

I have a degree in biology.

#10 Lad I used to know when we were 17 or so once said he knew someone who could run a mile in one minute. When I called b******t, he said “how tf would you know?”, so I said he’d have to be running at 60mph. He then asked me how I knew that, so I said well if he could run a mile in one minute, that means 60 miles in 60 minutes, therefore 60 miles per hour. He then said “that’s not how it works”. Bless him.

Image source: giraffeboy77, RUN 4 FFWPU / pexels (not the actual photo)

#11 I used to work at a CONCRETE dam. I’ve been asked 3 different times if it is a man-made dam while looking at the dam.

Image source: anon, Andy Chen/ pexels (not the actual photo)

#12 When I was still in the restaurant industry, someone ordered a turkey burger, medium rare. I explained that we have to serve the turkey burger fully cooked, due to it being poultry.

Image source: GreenChorizo, Pixabay / pexels (not the actual photo)

“But it’s a burger.”

“Yes, but it’s a patty made out of poultry.”

“So why is it on the burger menu?”

“Well, it even says on the menu that our turkey burgers are cooked well done.”

“But your burgers are cooked to order.”

“Yes, our beef patties are cooked to order. Turkey burgers need to be fully cooked.”

She begrudgingly relented. Then complained to my then-manager that I’m an idiot.

#13 *Don’t ever do that again! If you blow your nose while on the toilet and while on your period, your organs will fall out of your b******e and vagina and you’ll die.*

Said to me by my mother the first time I got my period. I had the flu at the same time. Ripped TP off the roll and blew my nose. She wagged her finger in my face and told me the above statement.

I’m 29 now. Still waiting for my organs to fall out of my b******e or lady bits. I figure it’s gotta be any day now, right?

Image source: disjointed_chameleon

#14 When my oldest step daughter was 15, I picked her up after her sport practice. I asked if she felt good after such good exercise. She said yes but then complained that she should’ve got a shower before I picked her up. I didn’t understand. She said “well now that my sweat dried on me, my workout won’t make a difference.”

I drove in confused silence for a minute and then started giggling.

“Wait, do you think that your body reabsorbs fat through your sweat if you don’t shower quickly enough?” I finally managed to ask.

She also started to laugh and admitted that’s what she thought and that now that she heard it out loud, it made no sense.

We talked about biology the whole trip home. She’s in her 2nd year of nursing school now and acing her classes. ?.

Image source: WeAreInTheBadPlace42

#15 Mom heard on the news that Mars was going to be close enough to Earth to see with the naked eye.

A couple of evenings later she pointed up at the sky and said, ‘Is that Mars?’

‘That’s the moon, Mom.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Very much so.’

She’s not suffering from dementia. She’s just oblivious.

Image source: anon

#16 Well, Jennifer, you’re Black but you’re not “Black.” You’re educated and you have class.

Image source: JenniFrmTheBlock81

#17 Visited a historic site with a friend, when the guide told us it was Neolithic, older than Christ, she was shocked that people existed before Christ. She’s a nurse.

Image source: My_Name_Is_Amos, Mehmet Şimşek/ pexels (not the actual photo)

#18 Worked on an animated movie as a group project, had this discussion;

Image source: WebBorn2622, Jonathan Borba / pexels (not the actual photo)

“Can you take a look at the credits and check that it’s correct?”

“Yeah it looks good except you put me and Dave on character design. I did character design and Dave did the backgrounds. If you can fix that it’s all good.”

“So credit Dave for the backgrounds? Like this?”

“Yes, and remove him from character design”

“Why?”

“Because he didn’t design any characters, I designed every character on screen.”

“But he drew a boat.”

“Yes, but it wasn’t a sentient boat, and it was in the background. So it’s part of background design.”

“But he drew a plane.”

“It was also not a sentient plane. Characters are the things that are alive.”

“I seriously don’t understand what you want me to do.”

“Remove Dave from character design, since he didn’t design any.”

“That doesn’t sound fair.”

“Hi Dave, did you design any characters?”

(Dave) “No, you did all of them, remember?”

“See, Dave didn’t design any characters can you please remove him from character design”

“Ok, if it’s that important to you?”.

#19 “I didn’t think you’d really leave. You don’t just divorce someone because they are a bad husband.” – My ex. I got tons of dumb one liners from him!

Image source: Silent-Language-2217, Keira Burton / pexels (not the actual photo)

#20 My gf once asked me why I believed in reindeers. She thought they were magical creatures like dragons or unicorns.

Image source: GustavoAlex7789, Barnabas Davoti / pexels (not the actual photo)

#21 A woman told me: “I understand boys better than you do because I have 2 sons and you don’t.”

I’m a man.

Image source: Objectivevoter80

#22 Mom once told teenage me that getting an internal ultrasound meant that a robot took my virginity. I think she cried over this, IIRC.

Image source: anon, Pavel Danilyuk/ pexels (not the actual photo)

#23 Someone told me that drones were an extreme security threat, which is a fine argument to make (as long as you have the evidence to back it up), but then he instantly followed up with the comment: “But how do the spies *fit* inside the drones? These drones have to be pretty big to fit the people inside.” This had me dumbfounded.

Image source: Guilty-Scale-1079, Flo Dnd/ pexels (not the actual photo)

#24 You should give every guy that approaches you a chance even if you aren’t attracted to them because you might learn to love them. As a woman that is the right thing for you to do.

This was said to me on Reddit when I stated that I won’t date Conservative/Republican men. I was accused of bullying and hate speech and a bunch of butthurt men reported me. I almost lost my account. ???.

Image source: shrapnel2176

#25 My aunt (who was pushing 40) wondered if she needed to worry about prostate cancer, since her grandfather had it. This is the same aunt who insisted that the Dutch are from Denmark. When I told her the Dutch come from the Netherlands she was like “no, sweetie, those are Neanderthals!”.

Image source: bittyberry, ALINA MATVEYCHEVA / pexels (not the actual photo)

#26 I went to see a Dr. for my neck issues. She was asking me questions. She asked about my commute to work. I said I did have a long commute. My neck would bother me while driving. The Dr. told me, in all seriousness, when traffic is stopped on the freeway get out of the car and walk around the car as many times as possible to stretch. ? walk around the car while stopped in freeway traffic. I never had another appointment with her again.

Image source: Szaborovich9, Oleksandr P / pexels (not the actual photo)

#27 I work at my husband’s auto repair shop. After discussing next steps with a customer, I told them their gas light was on. They sighed and said, “great… how do we fix that?”

Image source: chaos_punk, Erik Mclean / pexels (not the actual photo)

My response was dead silence. I was trying to determine if they were messing with me or not. They realized during my silence with the look on my face that they just needed to put gas in the car. They are one of my favorite customers now and they certainly keep me on my toes!

#28 “how was i supposed to know the strawberry açaí had strawberries in it” after giving it to somebody allergic to strawberries.

Image source: oh-fish-ial, ROMAN ODINTSOV / pexels (not the actual photo)

#29 Atheists worship the devil.

Image source: theRightiseffenWrong

#30 I had a female co-worker who got really upset when Prince Harry got engaged to Meghan Markle. When I asked why, she said it was because she wanted to be a princess. I laughed, because that’s a very silly thing for an adult to say and I genuinely thought she was joking. She just looked at me dead in the eyes, super serious, and said again “I wanted… to be… a princess!” We all lived in a country very far away from the UK, and she had almost a 0% chance of ever meeting Prince Harry.

Image source: ImInJeopardy, Marvin Malmis Ponce / pexels (not the actual photo)

#31 “Oh, it’s like winning the lottery” After she find out i got a widow’s pension after my husband died.

Image source: RealisticWillingness, Pavel Danilyuk/ pexels (not the actual photo)

#32 “Alcohol is so toxic to teenagers that, even a sip, gives them Toxic Shock Syndrome” – driving instructor.

That’s the mildest dumb thing that was said.

Image source: Dick_of_Doom

#33 “Okay well if the earth is round, then how come Australians don’t fall of?” Then she looked at me with a sufficient smirk like she just debunked centuries of science.

Image source: Greenie1O2, Catarina Sousa / pexels (not the actual photo)

#34 Knew a girl in high school who thought chipmunks were baby squirrels. While not the most outrageous thing to think, when we all told her that wasn’t the case, the teacher told her that wasn’t the case, the internet told her that wasn’t the case and an encyclopedia from the library told her that wasn’t the case, she refused to believe it. She even went so far as to lie about having a pet chipmunk that grew into a squirrel. I wonder how she’s doing these days. Oh yea she’s in the United States House of Representatives. Figures.

Image source: justaguy826, Gowtham R/ pexels (not the actual photo)

#35 An old ex, when I confronted him about his clashing outfit, told me he doesn’t know because he isn’t a fascist… I asked him what he meant, and he said “you know, someone who is into fashion”. My dad couldn’t stand him and thought this was the funniest joke ever.

Image source: bitysis, MART PRODUCTION / pexels (not the actual photo)

#36 Working in the meat department of a large grocery chain: “What’s the difference between a fresh and a frozen turkey?” “Is……is this a trick question?”.

Image source: chizzle91, RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo)

#37 During the peak of the Covid pandemic, one of my parents set me aside to express how “concerned” they were about me at work because I might get brain damage from wearing a face mask.

One of my siblings works at a dental office, and they’ve been wearing face masks at work for years.

Image source: KatakanaTsu

#38 My cousin once asked “where do astronauts land when it’s only half a moon?”.

Image source: Hollychanel, Pixabay/ pexels (not the actual photo)

#39 Pointing at a photo of a cave in the distance I took in Israel. “In that cave they found the 2000 year old Dead Sea Scrolls.”

My friend “Were they still alive?”

Me befuddled, “Were who still alive?”

“The squirrels. The Dead Sea Squirrels. “.

Image source: BigGrayBeast

#40 I used to have a friend that was convinced that if he stretched his a*****e enough he’d develop the ability to photosynthesize. He claimed thats how original humans survived since there’s no food in Africa.

Apparently it’s a whole thing some people believe. People are wild.

Image source: Wizard_of_Claus