35 Of The Most Absurd Reasons People Have Been Reprimanded At Work

For the most part, we learn to ignore the opinions of others, especially when they border on being unhinged. However, in a workplace, the rules change. For people who are placed in a position of submission to higher authorities, they are occasionally forced to listen to ridiculous reprimands. 

#1

Image source: Kate, Getty Images/unsplash

My first job was at Zellers (a now-defunct Canadian department store analogous to Wal-Mart) and I was reprimanded for being “too happy”. It was apparently demoralizing to the other, older workers.

#2

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I like to drink very cold water, so I have a reusable water bottle I pack with ice and bring to the office with me, and fill from our water fountain here (we do not have an ice maker in the building). I have never, not once, ever said a word out loud about this preference or drawn attention to it. Because who cares, right?

My grandboss saw me refilling my bottle the other day, and heard the ice rattling. I explained my ice-from-home system, my very cold water preference, and she became very upset! She told me that I need to stop bringing ice from home immediately, because very cold water is rubbing my good teeth in the faces of people who have sensitive teeth or cannot afford dental work, and by doing so I’m “acting classist.” Thankfully, she just walked away after that and I didn’t have to think of a response.

This person makes twice as much as I do, and last I heard, opted us out of having dental insurance at all for the sake of saving a buck. I want to write “Expensive Tooth Juice” on my bottle just to round out this weird cosmic joke, but I will not, as my teeth and I are professionals.

#3

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I was recently promoted to a supervisor position. A few weeks in, my manager reprimanded me for helping a team member work through an issue he was having with a project and how best to research it in our database. Silly me thought part of the supervisor position was providing support and assistance to team members when they had questions or got stuck!!

#4

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Being too quick to answer my work phone when it rings.

Answering emails too quickly (not wrong, just how quickly I am responding).

Being TOO efficient.

Being TOO organized.

Oh. My recent favorite: being TOO professional on the phone.

#5

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Clicking too many times (:

Worked with ancient software where if you double-clicked instead of single-clicking, it would break everything. But, the software was so laggy that you had to hold down your single-click to make it register. Got a lecture about being careless for double-clicking instead of single-clicking.

#6

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I once was scolded (at a review!) for reading during break times, as it showed “workplace disassociation”. This was the straw that got me seriously job searching (and I took all lunches off-site for the rest of my time there).

Lana Kane:

My husband was reading in his break room and was asked “Why are you reading?”. Not what…why.

#7

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Similar to your Coach notebook — When I was in college, I drove a (used) Audi A4. One summer while home on break I temped at a small business in my hometown, and the owner and his son (who was the managing director) both had Audis. When I parked near them in the lot one morning, the owner was waiting for me, and he explained that I was “too young” to have an Audi, and that it “sent the wrong message.” I don’t really know what he wanted me to do – park down the street? Sell my car?

#8

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I was marked on my first year review (which no one else on staff had BTW) a 2 out of 5 for “works well with others.” After several low marks (worst review I ever had in my life before or since), I questioned the validity of this and was told, “Well, you never go to lunch with everyone else.” My boss’ boss raised his eyebrows.

When I said that I thought lunch was my personal time, my boss didn’t have an answer, and her boss’ eyebrows went up even further. He couldn’t be bothered to support me though. Neither did he support me when I got a 2 of 5 for attendance where her examples were 1. the time you were gone 2 days for your friend’s wedding (which was approved before I was hired), and 2. the morning I took off to run a 5K (You mean the *company sponsered* 5K?)

#9

Image source: Viki

My calendar when I was 21 in my first job was colour coordinated in different shades of pink. This was a third party lab for car testing, a very old school boy’s club.

I need to stress my calendar wasn’t public facing, and you could only see it on my profile. The Lab Manager hated it and kept on trying to get me to change it. Told me I’d never be more than the tech writer there because of that (not my lacking of engineering degrees)

I have aggressively kept a pink colour coordinated calendar all these years, and degrees later, where I’m a director of an engineering department.

#10

Image source: Monosyllabic, Getty Images/unsplash

Having too short a surname. “People can’t hear it properly when you say it over the phone.”

#11

Image source: Not Australian, A. C./unsplash

Working too fast and ‘showing everybody else up’. No, honestly, a complaint was raised about me in exactly those words, as if they thought I was doing it deliberately rather than just – you know – keeping my nose down and working instead of socialising, which was what everybody else was doing.

#12

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I was reprimanded for not smiling enough while wearing a mask.

#13

A gushing nosebleed.

I’d had sinus surgery, and had uncontrollable nosebleeds for a few years after. I worked at a picture frame warehouse,* pulling matte board and packing it for delivery. I couldn’t bleed all over the product, so I paused what I was doing until the bleeding stopped, and got told off for “taking an unauthorized break.” Okay SUZANNE, I’ll just go back to pulling boards worth between twenty and fifty dollars a piece with an uncontrollable BIO-HAZARD DRIPPING OUT OF MY FACE.

*At this date, I’m happy to name and shame: do not buy from Frame Specialties in Elkhart, IN, their business practices are borderline illegal, and highly unethical/a**sive.

Image source: Dr. Rebecca

#14

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I got written up for buying colored file folders (with my own money) because “it looked too extravagant and sent the wrong message.”

I worked for a small nonprofit that generally had multiple projects at different stages underway at the same time. It was my job to interview and track dozens of applicants for each project, so I asked if I could get color-coded file folders to more easily distinguish between the three projects. My request was refused because it was “too expensive and wasteful,” so I bought my own folders — for under $12, mind you.

My boss then wrote me up because “it looked extravagant to have colored file folders and we might lose donations because of it.” This finally escalated to the board of directors, who sided with me because, yes, color-coding was more efficient. I still don’t regret it, and I used those folders over and over.

#15

At my partner’s new IT job, their supervisor was complaining vehemently about how slow the new scanner was and how it was slowing down all their paperwork processes. My partner, being IT, naturally went into the settings, fixed the problem, and told the supervisor it should be faster now.

Supervisor gasped in shock. You can’t change the printer settings without approval from [2 bosses up]!!! You change that back right now!!!

Unfortunately, this was indeed indicative of the office’s standard vibe.

Image source: cmdrspacebabe

#16

For telling my ex-supervisor in private that the word she meant to use was “depository” and when she told me to create a “suppository” for everyone to use, it didn’t mean what she thought it meant. Oh boy. She went off the deep end. Screamed at me that she knew what she said and she said what she meant, and she didn’t need someone like me correcting her.

She continued to tell people I was creating a “suppository” for everyone to use for another seven weeks.

Image source: The Mouse Who Roared

#17

Image source: alldogsarepuppies

I replaced a paralegal at a law firm who was reprimanded (and later let go) for making his password some number and symbol variation of Lawyers Suck. Because it “would be inappropriate if a client knew”.

#18

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Sighing. Not even consciously sighing, but just part of regular breathing/occasional sigh.

#19

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I was reprimanded during my annual performance review for being “too well liked” in my department, and, in particular, by people who were more junior to me and/or who I managed. There were no actual issues coming from this. My projects got completed on time and got excellent results, juniors followed my instructions and also felt comfortable suggesting changes, I dealt with any issues quickly and discreetly, and saw multiple people who I line managed get promoted.

#20

Image source: Bast*, Andrej Lišakov/unsplash

I was scolded for using the restroom too much while pregnant, and told I should have just used it during my break. I did. It didn’t matter if I just used the restroom an hour ago on my break, I need to pee again. This was awful during the last month or so of my pregnancy with the baby pressing on my bladder constantly. This was a retail job, so probably a surprise to no one, but I’m not sure what they expected me to do. It’s not fun to have to pee all the time.

#21

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I got scolded once because I was making it “too obvious” that I was working too many hours and I was making the other managers “uncomfortable” by talking about how tired I was or how many hours I was working…..I was working 12+ hour shifts 6 days a week and on that 7th day we had a mandatory managers meeting so I was literally in that building 7 days a week….I was the only regular floor manager working these kinds of hours.

It will probably not surprise many of you to know this was the restaurant industry lol.

#22

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At a previous job, I was scolded multiple times for my desk being too tidy. Apparently having an organised desk not littered in files and stacks of paper meant I wasn’t busy enough. I kept an empty pile of file folders on the edge of my desk for 3 years just to keep my boss happy.

#23

Image source: StopTellingWomenToSmile

Not smiling. I was in high school working as a cater waiter. I turned on my customer service face front of house, but not back of house. The chef chastised me for not smiling, as my grandpa was in the hospital with near-fatal cardiac issues (he survived and is still kicking now 20 years later).

#24

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I got scolded by a manager for referring to my boyfriend as my partner. I retaliated by keeping a list of weird similes at work to use instead. Nobody called me out on it. That manager left, and I had an odd conversation with my new manager where the new manager confirmed that there was no ban on the word.

#25

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I had a client once complain to my boss that they hadn’t seen me walking my dog lately!

#26

I had a coworker who complained to our boss that the other cleanroom tech and I were having conversations that weren’t “intellectual enough” in the clean room.
Yes, while we sat around waiting for the 2000L bioreactor to warm up (at least an hour) the other gal and I had chatted about her upcoming wedding.
This was after we had completed all the work that could possibly be done until the thing warmed up – it was chat or sit in silence.

So the next week smart-ass me decided to ask Mr Grumpy if he’d like to talk about Russian literature, would that be sufficiently intellectual?

Image source: JustaTech

#27

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Using post it notes. I had recently had a change to routine work so I had two regular sized post it notes with reminders attached to my monitor until it became a new habit.

A head corporate boss was visiting. He came in and read me the riot act. He was super condescending and said “I’m sure you’re qualified for this job since you were hired but I am having doubts” immediately after coming in to introduce himself. We had not spoken about the job at all. He looked at me as if I were vile. I got a lecture about using calendars or reminder apps on my phone. Later my coworker told me “oh yeah, he hates post it notes”.

#28

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I had a client (mental health) complain because I… went to the same restaurant she went to. My boss liked to take all client complaints very seriously (which I truly do appreciate, too often people with severe mental health issues are dismissed) so she tried really hard to figure out what I did wrong, but I didn’t speak to the client or engage with her in any way and can’t help it that the restaurant seated us in the same section.

#29

I have a coworker who will NOT let it go that I don’t match colored hair scrunchies to my outfit. I bought a pack of 6 scrunchies a while ago, and with a fairly limited color selection I obviously can’t match anything exactly, so I decided to go for completely opposite colors of scrunchies to my shirts to make it a ~creative choice~ instead. She simply will not stop commenting on it in annoyance! She tried to pull me aside for a lecture about how “distracting” it was… She even tried to go to management about it, to which she was told to let it go (she hasn’t).

Obviously, with all the drama surrounding it I mismatch the scrunchies even harder now lol

Image source: WeirdChemist

#30

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As an intern at a national wildlife refuge (over two decades ago), one of my tasks was to go through the local and regional newspapers to look for references to our facility or any relevant environmental issues. I had to cut out the articles, photocopy them in triplicate, file two of them and make sure the third got sent monthly to DC. There was quite a backlog of old papers to go through, in addition to new papers coming every day. One of my supervisor’s peers complained to their boss that I was lazy because they saw me reading the paper all the time. I’d love to read a paper at work now, but 19-year old me hated it. I was livid for being accused of laziness.

#31

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Telling dad jokes. Apparently they were too juvenile?

#32

Image source: Lynnerd, anon

Graphic Design intern: I was sent on a Starbucks run for the two owners and a handful of employees. One of the owners told me he didn’t want anything. So I had the gall to get him nothing.

Returned to a snippy “Where’s mine?” and the other owner scolding me, without a hint of shame or irony, that “when he says ‘no,’ of course he means ‘yes.’” I had to drive back to Starbucks, off the clock, to get this grown adult business-owning man the order he said he didn’t want.

#33

 

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Having my coat hung on the wall where it is visible outside my cube. It was on the coat hooks installed on the wall that were already there when I was hired.

#34

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Some of my coworkers got scolded for building snowmen. One winter, we had some colleagues visiting from another site who were experiencing snow for the first time. A few people took them out (after work hours) to build snowmen on the back lawn of our building. The entire group was scolded the next day for “unprofessional behavior” by our office admin. These were standard snowmen – not inappropriate snow sculptures, not built on the clock, not blocking any sidewalks, and while they were on work property, our building was not open to the public and the snowmen were not visible from the street. No one with any actual authority had complained, and our department head even stopped to take a selfie with the snowmen on his way into work that morning.

#35

More from the ex-supervisor:
-the time I got yelled at for wearing flip-flops. I don’t own any flip-flops.
-the time I was accused of insubordination for asking if I should convert a spreadsheet to a database.
-the time I was accused of being “uppity” for returning to school to pursue a graduate degree.

Image source: The Mouse Who Roared