25 Stories From Doctors Who Had To Deal With An Outrageously Incorrect Self-Diagnosis From A Patient

Most of us can probably admit to googling our symptoms to see what might be wrong before heading to the doctor. It makes sense to want to understand your situation, even if only so you can describe your symptoms more clearly and get an expert opinion. But some people take this too far and end up self-diagnosing themselves with wild conditions, creating unforgettable moments for medical staff.

#1

Image source: Danimerry, Erik Mclean

Had a patient come in once due to weight gain that she thought was due to being pregnant. Made sense, except she’d taken more than half a dozen pregnancy tests and they were all negative. She was convinced she was pregnant though, and wanted me to check. I tell her ok, I’ll do a blood test, since we can detect pregnancy earlier with that, and she refuses. Says that she just wants to pee on the stick in front of me and have me read it. So I say sure, and lo and behold, it’s negative.

Little more questioning, and it turns out she’d been eating literally nothing but chicken wings for weeks. When I asked her why in the world she would do that, she replied that she just really liked chicken wings.

#2

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Not a doctor, but work in the Newborn Intensive Care Unit. One night we were called to Labor and delivery for a preterm delivery. NotAMom called 911 because her stomach hurt alot and she thought she was dying. At the hospital ER it was confirmed she was pregnant and in labor. The whole time we were there she kept saying she was dying and why wouldn’t we help her. OB key telling her she was in labor and to push each time she felt pain. She kept yelling “It’s just gas! I’ve had gas for a while, but it won’t come out because I’m dying!” Fast-forward to baby coming out. OB hands the baby to the nurse who then shows NotAMom her baby. NotAMom says “That’s not mine! I have gas!” Nurse places the baby on her chest and says “Well, here’s your gas. It’s a boy!”

#3

Oh can I get on this one. So my mom before she died, her desent to death was a quick one. 15 months.

March 2012, she says shes getting difficulty moving joints on her right hand and elbow. Goes to dr, says its fatty tumors sends her home. She starts tripping on the floor, always to her right to start. She is saying shes getting weaker. Drs do tests. MRI’s, blood work for endocrine disorders, neuro diseases, everything coming up clear. I look at all the data, I scoure the internet, she has no history: ALS. I tell her neurologist, he says I am wrong, it can’t be ALS. Why not? no good answer. Time goes on, 4 months now, shes having trouble talking, starts writing everything. 9 months I buy her an iPad because she cant write clearly. 8 months she can’t stop drooling on herself, eating becomes difficult. 10 months shes wheelchair bound. Neurologist accuses her of faking it. 14 months she cant swallow. 15 months dead. Dr’s at the ICU asked me when she was dying from pneumonia, how long has she had ALS. “Her Neurologist said it wasn’t ALS, accused her of faking it. Scoffed when I suggested it to him”

I admit ALS is an outrageous diagnosis, but it was the only thing that fit. But if a patient or family says “what about X thing” don’t scoff at them when they ask why not.

Image source: lostintime2004

#4

Physiotherapist here. I had someone come into the clinic and ask to buy exercise bands to do rehab for his shoulder, but didn’t want to come in for an assessment first because he already knew what was wrong. When I asked him, he told me that he “tore his labia.” I didn’t correct him. (He meant labrum).

Image source: Waramp

#5

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Vet student here. I’ve had some dude with a super aggressive dog diagnose the poor thing with “neural instability” (causing his aggression) from an online consultation with a homeopathic shaman. He then came into the clinic with instructions from the shaman that he wanted the vet to carry out (including rubbing the dog all over with a $200 “healing stone”), despite the fact that the vet had obviously the more reasonable explanation.

He didn’t want to believe leaving a dog in the backyard without much human/animal interaction for most of its life could cause aggression. Go figure.

#6

Someone had booked an emergency appointment to have a mole inspected because “it had shown up overnight and was cancer”. About five seconds into the exam, I wipe the “mole” off using my finger.

It was chocolate melted onto her skin.

Image source: JDogg_of_RS

#7

Guy comes into my old ER one day with a nail in his hand from an accidental discharge of a nail gun. Nurse is checking him in and asked him to rate his pain on a scale of 1-10. He replies that it’s only about a 3. We all look at him like he’s nuts because our pain is at a 5 and we’re just looking at him bleeding. (Plus, this is a charity hospital where 99% of the patients are sitting in bed, casually texting or chatting on the phone, but still rate their pains as 10/10. You get the picture.) So, the triage nurse rolls her eyes and asks him how it could only be a “3.”

He responds by saying that one morning he was cooking his girlfriend breakfast. They were especially hungry that day because they had just been a bit “frisky” when they woke up. Since they had just finished, he wasn’t wearing any pants. Well, he says that when he bumped the pan and the hot bacon grease spilled onto his testicles, that was certainly a 10/10. So, to him, a nail in the hand only rated a 3/10.

Image source: clayrun

#8

My wife is a veterinary nurse. Someone brought their dog in because of small growths in two lines along the dog’s belly. The dog was diagnosed with nipples.

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#9

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Kinda opposite to what everyone is saying, but once saw a guy with a foot that looked like death (probably untreated diabetic). He only went to the ER because his sons dragged him. He literally had his foot inside a plastic bad (bag was tied around his ankle) because of the smell. He insisted he was fine and to be let go.
The amount of horribly sick patients that think they’re “just fine” is too high!

#10

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ER doctor here. I had a patient insist she had a fever once and when I pointed out that our thermometer did not record a fever she told me “I’m not sure they taught you this in medical school but when Asians get a fever their temperature doesn’t go up.”

Yup, I missed that lecture.

#11

Image source: Dentina, Erfan Amiri

Dentist here – I had a patient come into my office, absolutely certain he only had gingivitis and needed a normal cleaning. All because he had googled his symptoms and believed he could get a normal clean and go back home and do oil pulling after, which would somehow miraculously heal his gums. Would not allow me to take xrays or deep clean his teeth, which he needed because plaque was formed well below his gums. He even told me his gums were bleeding from just smiling, moving his mouth etc. He insisted on just a regular clean and then accused me of trying to make money off him when I basically put my foot down and said I wouldn’t be working on his mouth unless he allowed me to do my job properly. I was glad when he decided to walk out and never come back!

#12

Psychotic patient tried to convince me he had “Kittens playing inside (his) chest”.

Not so much. The atrial fibrillation and palpitations were real, though.

Image source: traumaprotocol

#13

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Paramedic here, technically not a doctor but here goes. Walked in the door to a young male with chest pain. As I walked up to him and introduced myself, he said “I have pericarditis”. I felt like telling him, “umm not sure how you would know if you did, but we’ll run some tests and see what we have.” Put an ecg on, took him to the hospital for more tests. We found out the final diagnosis by the hospital staff was, surprise surprise, pericarditis. So there you have it, the patient was right. I still have absolutely no idea how this kid knew that.

#14

Image source: Tacosplusmeequals, Hayes Potter

My mom took my sister and me to the doctor when we were kids because we had weird bumps all over the back of our tongues. We were diagnosed with tastebuds.

#15

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I’m not a doctor, but I’ve been the crazy patient. Earlier this year I had a conversion disorder, which, for those who don’t know, is when a person “develops” a disease and presents symptoms, but the whole thing is actually taking place in their heads and they’re fine. Within several weeks, I systematically lost my ability to walk and was terrified. I saw a series of doctors, and they theorized everything from MS to ALS, so I was pretty sure I was dying. I ended up in a hospital, but by this time I was starting to doubt myself. My reflexes, MRI, and other tests had all come back normal, and I could do things like jump, but not walk. Finally, my first night in the hospital, I spent several hours convincing myself that I was making it all up and that my family and loved ones would forgive me if I just made it all go away, and that it would be okay. So, I got up to go to the bathroom…and was fine. This experience still haunts me as the single most embarrassing and humiliating thing that I have ever done, even though I thought that it was real. Even though it was months and months ago, I feel terribly on a daily basis for scaring my family and friends, and for wasting so many doctors’ time. I’m glad that I discharged myself from the hospital before they had the opportunity to run anymore tests.

**Tl;DR: Not a doctor, but once wasted countless doctors’ time and resources after inexplicably convincing myself that I was losing the ability to walk.**

#16

Image source: anon, Getty Images

I work in physical therapy, and once had a guy with dementia say “I know I’m in pain…but I just can’t remember where”. I felt bad for laughing about it later but I had never heard something like that.

#17

Image source: anon, pixel-shot.com

Seizures from a parasite. He was actually psychotic and was self-treating what he thought was a parasite infestation by drinking household cleaning agents. When he started seizing afterwards, this reconfirmed his parasite diagnosis in his mind, so he drank more.

#18

Image source: pharmaSEEE, Kateryna Hliznitsova

Pharmacist here. I’ve had more than one patient run to me screaming that they looked up their rash on WebMd and must have Stevens-Johnson syndrome.

Actual diagnosis: contact dermatitis from laundry soap.

Edit: if you begin taking any medication (especially lamotrigine, Bactrim, or carbamazepine) and develop a rash, then yes you should call your doctor immediately.

#19

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ER and family practice mid-level here. Had someone come in one day saying they had wires and fibers under their skin, including a little ziplock bag of (you guessed it) wires and fibers that they had pulled out, he said with a needle. Now, this is Morgellon’s, a well known psychological entity, but to see it so blatantly like you read about in the text books just blew me away. He actually believed it. Very unsettling.

#20

Image source: anon, user25451090

Posted earlier things my patients as a paramedic told me, but this one is mine, albeit in reverse. Finally went to urgent care one night after several days of severe abdominal pain. Doctor insisted that it was appendicitis, despite my insistence that I do not, in fact, HAVE an appendix. He was thoroughly confused when he couldn’t find the appendix with the ultrasound. Cue looking for my gallbladder, thinking gallstones. Swing and a miss. I’m missing my appendix because they took it out along with my gallbladder at 5 y/o due to gallstones.

#21

Not a doc, but pediatric therapist. It’s astounding the number of families I’ve worked with that believe their autistic child has been diagnosed “artistic”.

Image source: Im_Jerri_Blank

#22

(not a Dr.) but I was in the ER in college in New York City for some crazy stress (I think I was over caffeinated and had not slept in 2 days from studying) but anyway, I ended up just being dehydrated and they gave me an IV and let me hang out there for a while. In the background I kept hearing this guy yelling “I’M GONNA FAINT! I’M GONNA FAINT!” And it seems pretty legit, so I was getting worried. Finally, He yells it out one more time, and a doctor walks by and says, “Mister – you’re in a hospital bed, so if you faint, I think you’ll be OK.”.

Image source: johngreenink

#23

A previously healthy, young, working professional, woman in her early 30’s came to the ER saying she had a cold that’s just been lingering and she couldn’t get over. Said she needed some antibiotics. She was actually admitted to the hospital and just kept getting worse and worse – pneumonia to respiratory failure needing intubation/ventilator to ARDS to septic shock and multiorgan failure. Every possible test and study done. Running out of answers, someone decided to order an HIV test. Turns out she had full-blown AIDS and a CD4 count that was practically 0. Unfortunately did not survive.

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#24

Not a doctor, but once I self-diagnosed myself with cancer.

Everyday. For like a year.

With WebMD.

Because my throat hurt.

I’m currently in remission, thanks.

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#25

Patient told me she knew it wasn’t a heart attack this time. It felt different than the last 19 times she came to the ER (which weren’t heart attacks). She was half right. It wasn’t the same as the other times. She died :-(

Heart attack. Refused transport to a cardiac center.

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