20 Things Even Doctors Did Not Expect To Hear From Pregnant Women, As Shared In This Online Group
The doctor’s office is the place one can go if they feel unsure about their health status. Sometimes you can think of the doctor’s office like it’s your school counselor’s office. Both are good places for advice, and doctors have also received their fair share of crazy clients, even. But today, we’ll not be talking about doctors and their crazy patients, sort of.
In a now-deleted thread in r/AskReddit, an anonymous Redditor asked some midwives and gynecologists about their weird encounters with some pregnant women. The responses will surely make you wonder if these folks have received a decent amount of sex education. So sit back, relax, and prepare yourself for some disappointingly funny stories from clueless pregnant women.
You may also want to check out our post, which covered some doctors’ methods for making appointments less anxiety-inducing.
More info: Reddit
Once heard a pregnant woman say ‘I want to shave but I don’t want to hurt the baby’
I had a girl call the office because she swallowed a cherry seed and was worried that the baby was going to choke on it.
I have an aunt who is a gyne, she told me some woman wants to be checked because some man kissed her and she have this superstition that woman can get pregnant through kiss or hand touch. So weird.
I work in Public Health and Family Practice. We get our own special ones. Most recently the lady with chlamydia that stated she did not use birth control because “you cannot get pregnant if you have an STD”. Right. Yes she knew she had the STD and yes she was sexually active.
Kinda late to the party. I had a woman call the office to make an appointment, and when I asked her what the appointment was for, she said that she needed a Fallopian tube. I was said, “…do you mean you want to get your tubes tied???”
She says, “No, I’m trying to get pregnant.”
I work at a microbiological lab and we took routine swabs from a pregnant woman to rule out STDs or other infections that could harm the baby during birth. We used a speculum to be able to see and take samples from the cervix. The patient asked whether we could – since we were already at it – take a picture of the baby with her cell phone. Through the vagina. She thought you could see the baby if you looked into the vagina.
As part of my midwifery education we had a woman come in from a fertility clinic to talk about the process a lot of our clients go through to get pregnant. She said the first thing they ALWAYS ask the patient, regardless of background, is how often they are having s*x. The amount of people that thought you could get pregnant any time after having s*ex (i.e. have s*x and get pregnant from that s*x 6 months later) was crazy. Also people who came from very conservative religious backgrounds and had no knowledge of s*x and didn’t understand why they weren’t getting pregnant after getting married.
It goes like this:
Me: Your pregnancy test came back positive.
PT: Oh, I couldn’t be!
Me: Are you sexually active?
Me: Are you using any birth control?
Me: Then why don’t you think you could be pregnant?
Pt: Because I couldn’t be!
Repeat scene many times over past 20 years. Denial is not a river in Egypt.
Had a woman ask “when do you know if a girl is going to change into a boy?” I had to clarify “you mean when a ultrasound can tell if it’s a boy or girl?” She replied “no, we already got an ultrasound that said it was a girl but I don’t know when they can turn into a boy.” I had no response to that.
When my great grandmother went into labour with her first child at 18 she asked how the baby was going to come out and the midwife said “the same way it went in love”.
Not a MW or gyno but a story from a doctor in a town where I used to live:
A man and wife had a daughter. Then he somehow (farming accident?) lost a testicle. Then the couple had a son a year later so all his parts work, right? Then a few years later they have another daughter. All hell breaks loose in the maternity waiting room between the two families. His family is insisting that the mother was fooling around because “he lost his girl testicle in the accident.” The doc had to separate them, then had to give a lesson about reproduction right there to explain that men’s testicles aren’t made to be one to make boys and the other to make girls. Members of both families were apparently confused about it, he said.
My Dad was a GP (he retired about ten years ago). He had a couple – lovely people, very young, a bit unworldly – come to see him to discuss their failure to conceive, about thirty years ago, when I was ten or so. He was bright enough to ask what they were doing in bed.
They had BOTH somehow come to the conclusion that what was needed to make a baby was penis/belly button contact. I have no idea how anybody was getting any satisfaction, or how on earth they kept believing this after doing it once – it must have been a horrible experience. He explained (literally) the facts of life to them, and on coming home had THE TALK with me and my brother, just in case we were also stupid.
The couple in question ended up with two kids. Good old Dad.
I had a cousin that had a friend that told her a way to save money was to stop taking her birth control for 6 months. Friend told her that birth control pills were still effective for 6 months after taking them. As you can guess, she ended up pregnant, it was the only reason we found out about her genius money saving plan.
The amount of times I’ve had to explain to a patient and/or the father of her baby that the baby in fact does not come out of the “pee hole” is concerning.
Another time, a woman called the L&D unit and told me she knew she was ovulating because the app on her phone told her she was and she had just had s*x with her husband. “Am I pregnant”? were literally the next three words out of her mouth.
A friend of mine works labor and delivery and told me this story. A 13 year old pregnant teen comes in. Days like this for the staff are hard, and they’re trying to be as sensitive as possible. As they’re getting her ready for delivery she starts to panic, saying that the “hole” isn’t big enough for the baby to come out. She thoughts the baby was supposed to come out of the bellybutton.
I do ultrasound. When I was a student, I did a rotation at a small OB/GYN clinic. One day, a woman and her husband came in for a pelvic ultrasound. They had come to see the doctor because they were having trouble conceiving. They said they had been having s*x regularly for almost a year, and had not gotten pregnant. My instructor asked the patient if she was on medications (standard question).
“Only my birth control pills.”
In a year of trying to get pregnant, neither she nor the husband had thought maybe she should stop taking her birth control.
One of the nurses I used to work with said they had a woman in come in who was in labor (her first child) and she gave the woman a hospital gown to change into. When they went to check her to see how dilated she was, they noticed she still had her underwear on. The nurse told her she would need to take them off. The patient was confused. Come to find out, she had no clue the baby was going to be coming out of her vagina.
I used to work in a medical field and witnessed this hilarity:
A teenage girl enters the clinic and gets testing done due to an irregular period. She and her mother are deathly afraid that she won’t be able to have kids. Standard tests are run and she is scheduled for a followup the next week.
Fast-forward to the next week she and her mother come back to get the test results. Again they bring up their concerns that the daughter may not be able to have kids and how important it is to them that this situation is handled. Sonogram results come up and SURPRISE ! it’s twins!
Midwife here- at least once a month I will being looking after a woman who is shocked to find out that a vaginal examination is the way to check cervical dilatation
Not an MW or gyno, but one time I made out with a girl and the next day she was crying because she thought she was pregnant. We were 22.