“I Had Great Birthing Hips. I’m A Male”: 35 Times Medical Professionals Scarred Someone Verbally

If we are in need of medical advice, we need to consult a medical practitioner to diagnose any potential issues and prescribe the correct medicine accordingly. However, dealing with Doctor’s can be a scarring effect for some people, especially if they have dealt with a health professional who has a brisk bedside manner, or an abrupt delivery style or maybe they are even downright rude during the interaction. While it would be nice to have a kind doctor that shows traits of compassion, empathy and patience, Doctors are human too and not all of them are blessed with these caregiving qualities. So when one Redditor asked, “What is the most hurtful thing a medical professional has ever said to you?”, folks exposed the physicians that were cruel to them.

#1

Image source: anon, Getty Images/unsplash

Indian female here. I can’t go to most gynaecologists here, because they are so judgemental. The last visit I had was brutal, I was s**t shamed for losing my virginity before my marriage and then given an extremely painful transvaginal ultrasound, when I yelled out in pain, she said “but you are used to things inside you.” Shook me to my core. Can’t summon enough courage to visit a gynaecologist anymore now.

Edit: This happened in New Delhi, India. Also thanks for the Reddit Gold dear Internet stranger!

#2

Image source: MrBitchin, Getty Images/unsplash

New doctor took my height measurement and jots it down before issuing me a very casual.

“Huh, tall for a woman”

I am a bearded man.

#3

Image source: mycottonsocks, Getty Images/unsplash

3 months-ish pregnant, start spotting. Spend about 10 hours at the hospital, vaginal ultrasounds, lots of diagnostic testing. Nothing they can do, tell me to go home and wait to miscarry.

I’m a wreck. It’s now late, dark and rainy outside, but I don’t have a way to get home because hubby is at work with our only car (was very young and poor). Doc says the nurses have taxi vouchers they can give me to get home.

Go to nurses station, ask for a taxi voucher. Nurse says “We only give taxi vouchers to women who have living babies”.

#4

Image source: andyhinomiya, Alonso Reyes/unsplash

The suggestion that I had confused a panic attack for a seizure.

To clarify, this was my first grand mal seizure. My father had them prior, and my mother witnessed both him having one and myself having mine. According to her, it was identical. I even hit all the textbook marks of having had an epileptic seizure, from the memory loss to the postictal fatigue.

The emergency room doctor didn’t run any tests, or examine my family history of epilepsy. He simply noticed the anxiety disorder in my medical history and assumed that I was just having a panic attack, and wrote it off as my only issue being that I’d hit my head.

Talking to my psychiatrist later about the incident, he confirmed based only on my account (corroborated with mom’s details where I couldn’t fill in) that I had definitely had a seizure, and he sent the orders for further testing himself. He also couldn’t refrain from saying “What the f**k is wrong with this doctor?”

I’m glad that at least one of my doctors took my seriously.

#5

Image source: anon, Alexander Grey/unsplash

So I’m having a miscarriage, right, and I’m bleeding an amount that Google says is not okay. I’m dizzy as f**k, freezing cold, losing feeling in my extremities, waiting in the ER for a doctor to see me, and when one does I’m gonna be taken to surgery, put under anesthesia, and have my uterus vacuumed because my body is *really bad at this,* but *before* that happens, when I’m trying to communicate to a nurse just how badly I need help, I tell her that I can’t feel my hands and she replies with

“That’s because you’re hyperventilating. Try to stop that.”

Lady, I’m bleeding to death. Hyperventilation is a symptom. Can you please be gentle with the person who has not only lost their child but is trying not to go down with them?

#6

Image source: anon, Getty Images/unsplash

Me, when I was nine, about to go under anesthesia for the first time ever for oral surgery, and being extremely scared.

Nurse: You need to grow up. I’ve had kids half your age not be as much a scaredy-cat as you.

My mother was not, by any means, a helicopter parent…but the thrashing she gave that nurse, the other nurse who chuckled at it, and the doctor who came in was insane. And then she took me out of that office (the surgery was not a time-sensitive thing, just to fix a soon to be impacted adult tooth) and for ice cream. I had the surgery done at a different office with a staff that had far better bed-side manners.

#7

Image source: Mariarrp, Kateryna Hliznitso/unsplashvaKaterKateryna Hliznitsovayna Hliznitsova

When I was 14, I was r***d by this 20 year old dude. I was at the hospital and the Dr(this old man) who examined me didn’t believe me. Asked me if I was lying to get attention. Never have I felt so lost before.

#8

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You can’t be in that much pain. You must have more energy than that.

Turns out the lining of my nerves was being destroyed. I was becoming paralysed, painfully.

#9

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Came in for something totally different and she commented on my stretchmarks on my hips and around my breast. I was around 17 years old and had gotten them when I hit puberty because I developed so much in a short amount of time. I explained this to her and she had a whole dialog with herself about her originally thinking it would have been because I used to be fat, and after my explanation just lamenting about how sad it was for me that I would have to live my entire life “with a body like that”.
Changed doctor the next day.

#10

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Getting out of the army- you are 100% healthy. My medical record was about six inches thick. Went to a civilian doctor and they were astonished anyone would say that. I am rated 80% disabled.

#11

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Finally worked up the courage to work on my mental health problems and asked my doctor for a recommendation to see a therapist. His only response was I’m too poor to get a therapist since my health insurance sucked. That was a bad day

Edit: don’t know if anyone will see this but in perfect timing my university was looking for therapy participants for a study. I now have 6 2-hour therapy sessions booked, for free. I’m so happy. Thank you for all the replies and suggestions, I’m so appreciative. 💛.

#12

Image source: anon, Getty Images/unsplash

When I was 16 and dealing with partial deafness: “Sometimes being a teenage girl is hard, but it’s hard to parent them too so there’s no need to exaggerate things to make things harder for your parents. Knock it off, there’s nothing wrong with you.”

Two tumors, 9 surgeries, and a CSF leak later, yes doctor. There really was something wrong.

#13

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« What are you going to do if your boyfriend would rather you had bigger b***s? » – said by the doctor to 15 year old me . I was getting a consultation for a breast reduction, because sporting G-cup was a f*****g nightmare. Still got it. No regrets.

« What are you going to do if your boyfriend would rather you had bigger b***s? » – said by the doctor to 15 year old me . I was getting a consultation for a breast reduction, because sporting G-cup was a f*****g nightmare. Still got it. No regrets.

#14

Image source: anon, Getty Images/unsplash

Not sure if psychiatrists count, but:

“You need to stop talking to me about your past. I have other patients who had it worse than you, you know.”

I’d only been seeing this woman for two months. It had taken me years to work up the courage to seek help, though the fear that my problems weren’t real problems or weren’t important. We’d barely even touched on the trouble I came in wanting help for, because the doctor decided on week two that I had generalized anxiety disorder, and that was that.

#15

What chronic illness are we sick with today?

I was 12 years old. Puberty was kicking my a*s. I was depressed and constantly sick because my home life was in shambles. But my mother dressed nice and was a well known figure in the community, so I was faking the illnesses I guess. Anytime a kid acts out for attention, I pay attention because it means something is going on. But that doctor just shamed me into the pit of despair. I’ve had trouble trusting any medical professional since.

Image source: americanskux

#16

Image source: andreanc95, Kateryna Hliznitsova/unsplash

You are just another crazy and stressed woman… turns out I did had a heart problem he just couldn’t diagnose.

#17

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After years of fertility treatments, we finally got the wife knocked up. Just before the 12 week mark they found “something”. The something was Anencephaly. Not knowing what it was, we kept asking doctors what this meant and got very doctor-y answers. “The prognosis isn’t good” or “It presents significant challenges to the fetus” all of which made it sound bad, but somehow manageable.

As we continued through the gambit of doctors, we eventually ended up with one who had that declarative Scandinavian accent, when we asked him *What does this mean for the child* he answered:

> *This condition is incompatible with life. If it survives to birth, it will live only for days.*

It was at once soul crushing and a relief. We finally knew how bad it was, but we knew what we had to do. The decision was no longer ours, and while it hurt the clarity was welcome.

Recalling this story many years later still makes me feel emotional.

#18

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In the ER, about six months pregnant, with heavy spotting and no noticeable fetal movement. Idiot doctor is unable to find the baby’s heartbeat. Just looks up at me and says, “Yep, probably dead in there.” He couldn’t possibly have said it in a more casual, offhand manner.

Note: I delivered my son three months later, perfectly healthy.

#19

Image source: JackReacharounnd, Getty Images/unsplash

I did a video chat service to talk to a doctor for 15 minutes. I told her my symptoms and thoughts since we were low on time. I had been very sick for weeks, possible urinary tract infection and respiratory infection. Also gave my other ideas from my symptoms. She told me I had Valley Fever and told me all about it over chat and we got cut off at 15 minutes.

I got her final email which should have a prescription in it and was told she actually thought I had Somatic Symptom Disorder aka that I was making all of this up and was perfectly fine. Her prescription was for a f*****g psychologist!! She told me in detail about my possible valley fever even though I said I hadn’t been to the areas she said it was prevalent.

I made an appointment with my normal doctor and had a few tests ran. Had a respiratory infection and a freaking KIDNEY infection!! 10 or so days of meds and I was fine.

My gosh I was so angry at that quack.

#20

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“I just don’t know how you could be in so much pain being so young, I’m not going to be able to write you a prescription.” My response was, “You’re a d*****t; I came in because I was hurt at work, doing heavy construction.” I never asked for a prescription in the first place, I had assumed I was vetting an xray to see if I had broken anything.

#21

Image source: FopFillyFoneBone, Getty Images/unsplash

My doctor didn’t actually speak, his reaction was worth a thousand words though: he literally rolled his eyes, threw his head back and sighed very loudly…

I had been having a semi-regular pain in my abdomen for years, a terrible cramping pain (I’m a man so it wasn’t menstrual in nature) that would double me over in pain and would last for a day or two and then go away. I had seen a few different doctors about it and none of them could figure it out.

I was seeing a gastroenterologist about another problem and mentioned my pain to him. He did some tests, tried a few things, did an endoscopy and told me he couldn’t find anything wrong. The next time I got the cramping pains I went back to him and he performed his non-verbal routine mentioned above. It would have been less hurtful if he’d just told me I was a hypochondriac.

I gave up on figuring out the pain. Fast forward a few years and I’m having a bout of these cramps. Middle of the night I get up to go to the bathroom. I puke my guts out and proceed to pass out on the bathroom floor for a few seconds. I make it back to bed without waking my wife and somehow fall back asleep. In the morning I get up and need to puke again. My wife goes with me out of concern and I pass out on the toilet. She calls 911 and I get whisked away to the hospital. Didn’t take too long for the doctors to determine I had a bowel obstruction. After 6 hours of surgery and a subsequent week stay in the hospital I’m back home and feeling better than I have in years.

Turns out that I had a 99% bowel obstruction caused by adhesions that had been slowly developing on my intestines since an appendectomy that I had in 1980. The surgeon told me that it was so bad in a few places that my intestines had been twisted on themselves. He referred to it as a “rats nest”. The surgery was in March, 2017, and not only have the cramps not come back once, I haven’t felt this great in decades!

**TLDR:** Doctors couldn’t find a problem with me/made me feel like a hypochondriac for almost 20 years. Turns out I had bowel obstruction caused by a surgery that took place 37 years earlier.

**Edit:** A few quick things. I wanted to say thanks for the silver; I wasn’t expecting anyone to even see this little story of mine.

I made a few responses in the comments but I did want to add a little to the story. My original appendectomy in 1980 became infected which led to a second surgery to remove the infection. This was an 8 hour surgery that left me with a 9 inch scar on my abdomen. The eventual bowel obstruction wasn’t always an obstruction — it was just adhesions on my intestines that were restricting my natural muscular movements and leading to occasional intense pain and constipation. I’m pretty certain the only way this could have been found was with an exploratory laparoscopy, which is exactly what happened once it turned into an obstruction and an emergency room visit. The good news is that I got fixed, I’m a much happier person, and I can poop better than ever before!

#22

Image source: BMoreGirly, Getty Images/unsplash

My 20 year old niece went to the ER in horrible pain. Doctor thought she was there for opioids and hit her hard in the middle of the back where she said it hurt. She almost hit him back and screamed “what the f**k is wrong with you?!” Turns out she needed her gall bladder removed.

#23

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“Maybe your migraines are happening because a physics major is just too advanced for you, young lady.” (Graduated with honors, got a master’s for good measure).

#24

Image source: anon, Frederick Shaw/unsplash

When i was like 5-8 mom took me to the dentist and he was stabbing above and under my tongue and the inside of my cheeks and he said “If you cry im going to start over”

Edit0: I did cry at some point during a regular procedure and he did start stabbing everywhere in my mouth again

Edit1: he was stabbing me with the tool dentists use to clean your teeth and remove plaque, no needles were involved.

#25

You have a lot of things wrong with you for someone of your age, don’t you? F**k you, doc.

Image source: LucyVialli

#26

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I had gained a lot of weight around my mid section a few years back, and my periods stopped. I was scared, young, and thought I was pregnant, but the tests came back negative. I went to a doctor to have myself checked out and she did some basic tests before telling me.

“There is nothing wrong with you, you’re just fat”

I already had some body confidence issues, but hearing it from my doctor, when I was trying really hard to get in shape, really hurt, I worked hard to lose weight, but my belly wouldn’t shrink, I was starting to feel really sick, and went back to the doctor, who again told me it was that I was just fat. I was crushed.

A year later I went to the hospital for something unrelated, and it was discovered that I had a giant Ovarian Cyst, about the size of a newborn. It was throwing off my hormones, making me gain weight, among many other issues. I have since lost weight and am feeling super confident now, but that doctor really messed me up for a long time.

#27

Image source: anon, Getty Images/unsplash

He asked me if I felt lonely

I said I don’t think of myself as lonely

He wrote down Lonely and underlined it.

#28

Image source: Moyrog, A. C./unsplash

Not to me, but to my mom. Dr. said “oh just let him hide in the bathroom”. I hid in the bathroom when I got really bad headaches that turned out to be due to a brain tumor. Doc must’ve assumed I was m**********g.

#29

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“It’s unethical for women who have never given birth to a child to get an IUD. You will change your mind about not wanting kids, you are too young”.

#30

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I had to take my son to the ER when he was 2 because he was having trouble breathing. The ER doc said he most likely had asthma, so she gave us an inhaler. Flash forward three days when we go to have his follow up with his pediatrician.

Dr J*****s: So, he saw this ER doctor once in his life and you trusted her to make a lifelong determination that your son has asthma? That’s pretty ridiculous.

Six months later, after three more ER visits with my son being unable to breathe.

Dr. J*****s: It looks like I owe you an apology. It turns out your son quite likely does have asthma.

#31

Image source: anon, Getty Images/unsplash

Was having digestive issues I eventually learned were a result of my undiagnosed cancer.

Doctor suggested I should wipe better.

#32

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I woke up in the hospital and heard a nurse running out saying “he’s awake”. The Dr. comes into the room and tells me to move my toes. I ask them where I am and what’s going on, he just gets more insistent that I “move your toes”. I asked again where I was and that was going on , he almost yells at me “ move your toes”. I said I am moving my toes, and immediately he says “you will never walk again.” That’s how I found out I was a paraplegic at 21 years old. I had been in a single car wreck and was thrown 70-80 feet from the car and my vertebrae was dislocated and laying next to another one. I don’t remember the car wreck but that exchange with the Dr. Is burned into my brain, and that was 31 years ago.

Edit 1: D**n this blew up. Thank you to you all for your comments. I had a seatbelt on but went off a small hill next to the interstate after clipping an end of the guardrail. Flipped the car down the hill and seat and seatbelt gave way under the pressure and I went out the driver door window. My back collapsed around the door sill and dislocated one vertebra next to the one below it. I’m a big guy 6’4” and 235 at the time and the force was too much for the seat structure. I found out all these details over the next few weeks while I was in rehab.

#33

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I went to get a lump on my groin checked out, and had to remove my underpants. The doctor started a whole speech about “size isn’t everything”, which isn’t what I went there for.

#34

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When I went for a repeat prescription for anti-depressants as I was suffering with PND, anxiety, PTSD and OCD, the nurse refused to prescribe them and told me to ‘Just cheer up, it’s almost Christmas!’

Silly me!! Why didn’t I think of that first?!

Edit: thank you for my first ever silver, kind internet stranger!

#35

When I was about 15 I decided to open up to my doctor that I thought I might be depressed and see if there was something he could recommend to help. His response was to laugh at me and tell me, “You’re not depressed, you’re just a teenager.”

Following that I told my parents I wanted to switch doctors and I closed back up about my emotions. It took years of self-destructive behavior before I tried to seek help again all because that guy was a d**k when I was feeling very vulnerable.

Image source: -eDgAR-