25 Couples Reveal Cultural Differences In Their Interracial Relationships

Published 1 week ago

In a world where diversity is celebrated more than ever, interracial relationships continue to challenge societal norms and stereotypes. Recently, a thought-provoking question posted on Reddit’s platform invited interracial couples to share their experiences, asking: “Interracial couples of Reddit, what was the biggest difference you had to get used to?”

The responses that flooded in were as diverse as the couples themselves, offering insights into the unique dynamics and challenges that come with love across racial lines.

More info: Reddit

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#1

Image source: jordang2330, monicore

White male, black wife. Spices and moisturizer.

Our spice cabinet runneth over, and we have a bottle of moisturizer in almost every room of the house.  Now I also smell like Coco butter.

#2

Image source: Evening-Grocery-2817, Gee Hair

My hubs is black. I’m white.

He was shocked at how my long hair found it’s way everywhere. All over the shower? Check. Randomly around the house? Check. In the crack of his a*s? Check. He was less than impressed on the last one.

With me? That I couldn’t run my fingers through his hair any ole direction without f*****g up his waves. I didn’t know it had to be a certain way and he didn’t tell me. He said he liked me rubbing his head too much to tell me I was messing them up. It wasn’t until he was rocking a slight fro and I asked where those pretty lines in his hair went and he glared at me and was like, “you”. He wasn’t mad at me, he genuinely thought I knew and had just wanted to rub his head that badly. I was so clueless I didn’t even know they were called waves.

#3

Image source: CerealKillerWhale, LaShawn Dobbs

My family (white) were terrible.  I left them as a teen because of abuse and whatever.  Absolute rearview.

His family (black) are such warm people. Huggers! All of them!  Omg, I love them so much.

I didn’t think I would ever have a family again and I absolutely had no idea that I would ever be so embraced by my husband’s family.

The biggest thing for me was the other shoe never dropped.  They weren’t being mean or pulling a prank, they were just f*****g nice, loving people.

If any one of them asked me to go anywhere at 3am I’d go.  .

#4

Image source: Optional-Meeting3344, Migs Reyes

I am white.

My estranged family still implies that my Filipino husband is a scammer and is only with me for the money and Canadian citizenship.

We have been together for almost 15 years. Married for 12.

You think that if he was only with me for the Canadian citizenship, he would’ve left me 10 years ago after he became a Canadian citizen.
I don’t even make a lot of money. He doesn’t even make a lot of money. But we are comfortable and extremely happy.

There is a reason why I do not speak to my family anymore.

#5

Image source: loudnate0701, Kampus Production

I’m a white dude married to a black woman. I had no idea about the whole culture of hair upkeep for black women. How much it costs. How much time it takes. How much it’s a connection point for her and other women.

Interestingly, what was a bigger adjustment had nothing to do with race. I’m an only child and she is one of five so obviously the family dynamics are quite different.

Next month we will be married for 24 years so I guess it’s all good.

#6

Image source: Lilli_Puff, Luthfi Ramaditya

Culturally, Asian men do not talk about their problems or stress. It’s a sign of masculinity to just quietly bear it all so when things get rough whether inside or outside of the relationship, my husband just becomes really quiet. At first i thought maybe he’s just really focused or motivated at the time. He doesn’t express anger at all but at the same time he doesn’t express ANYTHING at all. That’s when i know something is up with him. Coming from a half Latino household, we are very loud and expressive especially when we are stressed out, worried, or angry. The Asian and Latino cultures are so opposite in so many ways but yet so alike it’s quite a journey being married to an Asian man. I wouldn’t have it any other way tbh. I think bringing cultures together through love is one of life’s greatest things to witness and be a part of.

#7

Image source: kafetheresu, Todd Kravos

My partner is from California, I’m from Singapore. I think the biggest difference is popular culture — everything from your childhood tv shows, the iconic music of your teens, even your education system, is going to be different. You cannot expect your partner to know what Mr. Rogers is/have watched XYZ cartoon. All assumptions have to be thrown out of the window

I think it’s a good thing tbh, you start from zero. It makes you completely aware of how vast the world around you is, and I keep learning new things everyday. Just yesterday I learned that in California, there’s a mascot called Smokey Bear that taught kids about forest fires. In turn, I told her about Singa the Courtesy Lion, which is a mascot to teach people courtesy/good manners. We had an entire discussion about mascots and teaching populations, and it was so fascinating. This happens so much that sometimes we can’t stop talking to each other lol.

#8

Image source: LokMatrona, RDNE Stock project

I was born and raised in the netherlands (i’m half italian half indonesian but did not grow up with those cultures at home except a little). My girlfriend is persian.

In the netherlands, or at least in my experience, when people say no to something, then they mean no. While apparently for persians it’s seen as polite to decline at least the first offer, often also the second even if you actually really want.

So for example, If she would offer me a cookie and i’d say no, She would ask another 3 times before letting it go, which was cute but also annoying. Meanwhile when i offer her a cookie and she says no. I just quit asking and then she gets a little mad that i didn’t ask her a couple of times more.

It’s not like the biggest difference or anything but it’s a cute, and in the beginning, a very confusing difference

Edit: wow, did not expect 14k upvotes for this comment and i really love to learn so much about these kind of customs and that they are more widespread than i thought it would be! Especially in europe i did not expect it was common in ireland, finland and austria. Thanks for all the upvotes and interesting tidbits of culture that you’ve shared with me.

Also for those wondering. I know my girlfriend by now and the other way around. So yes, sometimes the tarof happens and im prepared for that, and meanwhile my girlfriend knows im not that familiar with tarof so there’s never mich confusion between us. We value good communication

Have a great day you guys.

#9

Image source: Oceanliving32, Warren

Most of my in laws are really great…. And then there’s my brother in law and his wife. I am from Spain but he keeps thinking I’m from Mexico and likes to uses phrases like “wetback” and such while his wife is concerned that I should always have my “papers” in order in case we are ever stopped….umm I am a citizen here ??…..stupid muppets….

#10

Image source: dvorak_1, Frames For Your Heart

I’m South Asian, he’s East Asian. There’s been a few differences around food once we started living together – he’s used to eating meat with every meal, and I grew up vegetarian lol. So I compromise by making vegetarian meals for a few days every once a while when I’ve had enough meat.

Also, people somehow get real curious when it’s two different PoCs getting together. A waitress once literally asked him (in mandarin) how did he get a girlfriend like me.

#11

Image source: Cabrona23, Jonathan Borba

I’m Mexican and my husband is white so I got used to them doing Christmas on Christmas Day and not Christmas Eve ?nothing crazy but I was so used to Christmas Eve being the big day lol.

#12

Image source: my_metrocard, cottonbro studio

In my failed marriage, there was overt racism. I’m Asian and my ex husband is Eastern European. When we first started dating, his mother declared, “There are three races in this world: white, black and yellow, and they should not mix. What would the neighbors say?”Lolololol. His grandfather expressed surprise when he met me because I’m not Black. He thought Japan was in Africa.

Japanese families are generally pretty respectful about not being too intrusive. His family was all into everyone’s business. They would ask questions like, “You’ve gained weight. What are you eating?” and “What does your psychiatrist say about how long you should be on antidepressants?” This is how they bond.

His family felt I was secretive and hated them because I refused to answer these questions. This created a situation where my ex had to choose between his family and me. Guess what his choice was?

#13

Image source: Throwaway03051012, LOGAN WEAVER | @LGNWVR

My husband is white I’m black. He’s wonderful but his parents and brother are… I have a major case of RBF (it keeps you young). Nothing I can do about it. But the causal racism they’ve expressed towards me has been a lot. Telling me I have an attitude if I am just sitting and reading a book, that I’m rude if I don’t welcome BIL’s gf in an over the top manner. They had a mammy cookie jar in the kitchen that I planned on knocking over, until my husband said something to them and his mom put it away. Not to mention the confederate flag hanging in the garage. Which is hilarious since my in-laws are from Jersey. Wtf do you know about the confederacy?

#14

Image source: Lucky_Extent8765, Wendelin Jacober

The dishwasher being used as a drying rack and not to actually wash dishes.

#15

Image source: TerenceDavisII, RDNE Stock project

The biggest difference I had to get used to was not talking to my mom anymore. She was not happy I married a white person and ‘cut ties’ with me. There was also some subtle racism from members of my family, even though it was small comments I think it’s for the best that I don’t live near any of them.

#16

Image source: Ok-Hippo7675, cottonbro studio

My husband is Ashkenazi Jewish. He and his family and Jewish friends seem to enjoy arguing for sport. There were a couple of times where I thought people were in relationship ending arguments over politics, but they were totally fine 15 minutes later.

#17

Image source: CuriouskittenXO17, Omar Lopez

My ex was mexican with darker skin and I’m white, and the weirdest thing was how we knew it was normal to be together where we lived but if we traveled anywhere south, north, or rural, we’d get weird looks and judged. My friend said her grandma from iowa saw a picture of us and told her to not be friends with me… yikes.

#18

Image source: -BreakMeInTwo-, Nathan McBride

I’m white. She’s Hispanic. Her family loves me. My family hates that she isn’t white. I never knew that they were so racist until after they found out I wasn’t dating a white girl.

Edit: I hate how self-righteous Reddit is. Quit correcting me on me using Hispanic. I know I used it wrong. I just don’t care.

#19

Image source: mln2122, Jason Briscoe

I’m white and married a Latino man. When his family says the party starts at 5, it actually means they don’t even start cooking until like 7-8. If you show up at 5, you’ll just be sitting around.

#20

Image source: bettertogoslo, Kampus Production

Black woman with a white husband in the UK. I think the biggest difference was how family are treated, in my culture I cannot fathom leaving an elderly family member to live alone and fend for themselves but that seems pretty normal for my husbands family, we talk about it a lot and he agrees it may seem weird but is expected.

Also bonus of money, I am of the mindset that if you give someone money you really don’t ask for it back unless it was pre agreed, as in if I can afford to buy you something I don’t expect something in return. It seems in English culture everyone must pay each other back to the penny and not allow anyone to pay for anything, that’s a real culture shock to me.

#21

Image source: blahbabooey, Alena Darmel

An ex was Latina, and while there really weren’t any “social” things that were new getting used to her family dynamic took some adjusting because they were very close and involved in each other’s lives so it was normal for the weekends inevitable BBQ to be something I was expected to be present for if she was going, because otherwise 16+ people would grill her about me not coming.

#22

Image source: MagicPistol, Kelly Sikkema

Not me personally, but I’m Asian and have sisters married to white dudes. It’s interesting to see them at family events, with everyone talking with random English words thrown in. They picked up on a few of our words and know when we’re talking about them lol.

What’s sad is seeing my mixed nieces and nephews hate on our culture and think our food is weird. They like to deny being part Asian and claim they’re 100% white which annoys me.

#23

Image source: GoldenBarracudas, Antoni Shkraba

Returning items.

Returning items was suddenly so incredibly simple. Never had any pushback no hassle nothing.

Shopping in stores
I never had so much privacy shopping. I’m really used to that constant. Can I help you? Are you finding everything okay constantly being spoken to by workers.
Now? I got a white girl with me. They just let me shop.

Her families food.

I really gotta talk myself up. It’s only one time a year but damn it… I will never get used to different fruits and cranberries being in your macaroni. The undercooked meats and general lack of seasoning is real.

#24

Image source: celoplyr, Alesia Kozik

The rice. So much rice. Every meal.

My bf is Asian, I’m as white as white can be, and other than the rice, we are very similar. But omg the rice. I now cook rice measuring with my knuckle. Before him I cooked rice maybe once a year, now it’s 2-4 times a week.

#25

Image source: CulturedGentleman921, Jakob Owens

Not wearing shoes in the house.

Kicking money upstairs to her family.

Celebrating Chinese New Year Reunion Dinner. Making rice for practically every meal.

“Lucky customs” like one year we didn’t have a lot of money for Christmas gifts so I wrapped up some “practical” gifts. I wrapped up some new kitchen shears and culinary knives and I was scolded because you don’t give those kinds of things as gifts because they “sever the relationship”.

Not complaining. It just took getting used to.

Saumya Ratan

Saumya is an explorer of all things beautiful, quirky, and heartwarming. With her knack for art, design, photography, fun trivia, and internet humor, she takes you on a journey through the lighter side of pop culture.

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couples, cultural differences, cultural preferences, culture shock, interracial couples, relationships, way of living
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