10+ Times Small Lies Escalated Into “This Is My Life Now”
Who among us hasn’t told a white lie now and then? If you’re saying you haven’t then you’re probably doing it right now! But this wouldn’t get you into too much trouble, not unlike these poor fellas, whose small lies have turned into something they could’ve never anticipated.
Recently, Parmersan, a Reddit user has started a thread asking fellow internauts when did their stated ‘alternative facts’ have escalated into being ‘their life now,’ in other words, when did their small lies spiral so out of control that they had to stick with them. And while we do feel pity for these poor souls, they sure managed to squeeze some of the most ridiculous stories out there. Thanks, guys!
Do you have a story of your own to tell? Then don’t hesitate to do so in the comments!
I was a new graduate student freshly arrived in the US and very poor, and I couldn’t afford a laptop, so the only way I could communicate with my family was to hit up the library and use a public computer to email with them. Eventually my girlfriend back home wanted to skype, and I wanted a little privacy for this if you know what I mean, so I set about finding the most private computer available to me in the library.
On a recon mission the day before the Skype, I located a single computer in a conference room and the next morning got up at 7am to account for the time difference and walked into the conference room with my eyes totally focused on the computer. I’d actually walked most of the way in before I realized there was a group of people around the conference table having a ridiculously early morning meeting. The guy at the head of the table, apparently thinking I’d showed up for the meeting and that I was heading towards him, handed me a paper that said “agenda” and said he was so glad a graduate student had shown up, then launched into the most incomprehensible talk about electrodes and chemistry.
Meanwhile I know my girlfriend is sitting halfway around the world thinking we’re going to have sexy time Skype and I’m blowing her off and I’m feeling desperate. But everything I knew about US culture was only based on movies, so I have no idea if I can just apologize and leave or what. I miserably sat down for the incomprehensible meeting, rehearsing all the excuses I can give my girlfriend when we talk later. I was barely paying attention. Eventually questions were directed at me and I confess that I’m a new grad student and I don’t know much about the equipment they’re talking about. Everyone excitedly tells me all about it and I still don’t totally understand what they mean, except I’m starting to get that they’re going on a research expedition to [an insanely exciting inaccessible dangerous place] and they’re building a piece of equipment to bring with them.
By the end of the meeting I am part of the project. 6 months later I am in [an insanely exciting inaccessible dangerous place] helping to operate this equipment. I appear briefly in the background of a Discovery Channel documentary (only black guy within hundreds of miles so easy to spot). I happily transfer to this other lab and this other field for my fully paid and stipended PhD. I am considered a real go getter, mainly based on my arrival at an early morning meeting no one else wanted to attend. New major, new field, new life because I was too awkward to admit I had just been in the room to sexy skype with my girlfriend.
My freshman year of college I was walking around campus when a very friendly looking girl waved at me. I’m awkward, so of course I waved back. The next week, the same thing.
This began the weirdest saga of my life.
For the next two years, we greeted each other as old friends every time we came across the other. She knew my name (somehow?), I never could figure hers out and it was WAY too late to ask. I just pretended I knew who she was and why she knew me.
Finally, I joined the honors program and entered my classes for my thesis. Who should be in this class but mystery girl! I was horrified. I wouldn’t be able to pass it off anymore.
First day of class we are all sitting there chatting and she greets me by name, again. I had finally learned her name from attendance, thank God. Someone asks, finally, “oh, so do you two know each other? Where’d you meet?”
I stare at her. She stares at me. Finally she breaks down wailing. “I don’t know! I don’t know, okay, we’ve just been waving at each other for two years and it was too late to ask!”
Shes standing in my wedding next spring as one of my bridesmaids and very best friends.
Image source: Mselaneous
So I’m a visiting nurse and started seeing a patient 3 days/week for wound care. He was a paraplegic and didn’t get out much or have many visitors. He offered me a cup of coffee one morning, but I didn’t know him very well yet and was uneasy about drinking something out of unknown person’s kitchen. Plus, we are really not supposed to, but I could tell he just needed a little company. I told him I drink it black to keep it simple, never planning to have another cup. Next day, I come in and notice a little sticky note on his counter that said “Remember to make fresh pot of coffee for Rachael”. It was so touching to me that I went early every single appointment from that day forward to have a cup of black coffee. I hate black coffee but I felt it was too late to tell him I liked creamer after all. I drank black coffee with him for 3.5 years and he became a good friend until he passed away…
I was a simple retail employee, basically been doing it since I got out of highschool. Made the old college try but ended up not pursuing anything more than an AA. I worked with a lot of people I really liked and admired for one thing or another and I just wanted to fit in with them. Compared to the stories they told I always felt like I had done nothing with my life or time.
One slow day stories are being exchanged and the conversation rolls back to me so I blurted out that I was a photographer in my off time and went on a long history about my years in photography with film and my own dark rooms. I told countless lies about the difficulty of transitioning from film to digital but still kept my old film cameras for certain types of shots.
I fucked up.
Of course everyone wanted to see my work, I weaseled and told them I would bring stuff in but of course had nothing to show. That night after work I went to bestbuy and maxed out my credit cards to get a lot of camera equipment, indent on a tirade of learning everything I could, signed up for community college courses on every type of photography I could sign up for. All so I could hide the mountain of shame I created. I started taking pictures every morning at dawn and every evening I could get out of work before sunset. I worked as an assistant to a wedding photographer for free for 3 months on top of all that to fill out a portfolio that hadn’t existed up to this point.
Everyone was so happy looking at my work that I couldn’t bring myself to stop! I kept at it; I hiked trails that I didn’t think I could hike just to get that perfect hard to find view of a sunrise the next day, I started doing weddings and parties by myself for free to capture the perfect picture out of thousands so I could show it off, I started traveling the world so I could validate the photography adventures I told stories of.
It’s been a spiraling mountain of lies, but at the end of the day I discovered my love of photography through them and now it’s my whole career. Three hundred sixty-five days a year and I have never been happier!
I told my parents i bought a duck when I was 20 to tease them. I found a picture online of one and sent it to them. Sadly, they believed me. They got overly excited about their “grand-duck” and told my whole family. I ended up buying a duck…
When I first got Married back in 2005, my wife asked me if I like Creamy Peanutbutter. I knew she did, so I told her “Yeah that’s great!”. She buys creamy peanut butter, I buy creamy peanut butter. About 3 years ago, she’s doing some experiment or something with our daughter and she needed chunky peanut butter. I saw it in the pantry and exclaim “Oh chunky peanut butter, I love this stuff!” to which she responds “… You do? I’ve been buying Creamy peanut butter all these years because you told me that was your favorite”
So long story a little shorter, we both prefer chunky peanut butter by a large margin, but had been buying creamy for ten years because we both thought it was what the other preferred.
Reading that back, we’re pretty boring people. yep :D
I was looking for a job and I didn’t want to be a fast food manager anymore so I fluffed out my resume with computer skills I didn’t have. I was contacted by a recruiter who asked me some questions to gauge my abilities and I straight googled the answers as he was asking them. When I went to the interview, the boss had all of these circuit boards sitting all over his desk. I recognized them as Raspberry pis from Reddit. So I asked what he was using them for. The rest of the interview was just this guy bragging about all of these projects he had going on. He might as well have been speaking Greek. I just feigned interest and said wow a lot. I’m hired. Who knows how this shit happened but I have literally googled every problem I have been given. Day 543, they still think I know what I’m doing.I’m making 1.5 times what I was making as a manager. I have a GED for christsakes.
I was homeless, sleeping under a bridge in charlotte near the music factory. I needed a job so I dressed as best I could, which wasn’t very well, walked into a bar on 7th and lied about my work experience. They gave me the job , I started working that day. They paid me cash after every shift. I worked there for three years, became the manager, and now I love cooking. Never cooked a day in my life up till that point.
A lady, in her 50s,who was acting as the kitchen manager trained me. She knew I lied, but she also knew I was in trouble. I couldn’t even cut a tomato. She saved my life. She didn’t tell anyone and kept training me even though sometimes I’d piss her off but I always tried to do better. I got an apartment a month into the job using another cook to call the apartment and let them know how much I get paid cause they wanted that for some reason. I was getting paid $11 under the table so nothing was on record which is why he had to call.
I worked as a line cook immediately. It was overwhelming. I’m not from the city and the work was fast paced. I would study on my time off by watching youtube and cooking at home.
I have one. A good friend of mine did not have an umbrella on a very rainy day. One of her coworkers offered her a lift home. One lift home turned into two, then three, until he was shuttling her to and from work everyday for months. This coworker is also a very good baker, he would make these lovely cakes and pastries and offer them to her which she politely took, every day. Then one afternoon, on her way home, he stops and picks up his parents. He happily introduces her as his girlfriend. She was shocked by this title to say the least.They proceeded to invite her to a family gathering over the long weekend to meet EVERYONE. His parents, they were so nice, she accepted because she didn’t have the heart to embarrass the guy. She went to the gathering, met with other family members and he kept introducing her as his girlfriend. She never worked up the nerve to correct or stop him. Long story short they are now married.
Not me but my Dad. We moved and he was convinced the postman’s name was ‘Ger’ as in short for Gerry. He greeted him by it, nearly every day for about 10 years. We even gave him a Christmas card which he displayed down in the sorting office.
Fast forward and we have a temporary post man, my Mum asking him after a few weeks ‘When is Ger coming back?’ This was met with stunned silence and a puzzled look, with a resounding ‘Who is Ger? No one works in the locality by that name’
Turns out, his name is Declan and he was too nice to correct my Dad for close to a decade.
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