35 Methods To Subvert Sexism With Class And Tact, According To Women

Though there have been leaps and bounds made in the fight against sexism, we still see examples of patriarchy in today’s society. It can take form during an unsuspecting interaction with any male in society. Whether it’s a man in a position of authority or even a peer subjugating women to their toxic masculinity, women have been finding subtle ways to fight back against chauvinism. 

#1

Image source: sere_pera, Vitaly Gariev

When they’re being aggressive, asking them why they’re being so emotional.

sarahkatharineny:

Calling them neurotic or hysterical also works well.

followthelemur:

Someone came up with “testerical”…

#2

“If an 11 year old girl can handle having a period, you can handle hearing about it.”

Image source: raecosby

#3

I have a work one and a mom one. My work one is that whenever I’m emailing a man and a woman, I always say the woman’s name first in the salutation.

My personal one, to support future working parents, is that my young son and I do a sweep of the apartment to tidy before bedtime, and I don’t tell him what to pick up. I just say, “Hmm, does it look clean in here? Does anything else need to be put away?” and he notices what’s out of place, then puts it away. This is all part of my dastardly plot to spare his future spouse the classic, “But you didn’t TELL ME doing the dishes meant pots and pans too!”

Image source: thirtyflirtyandpetty

#4

Image source: niamhirl, Kateryna Hliznitsova

Growing up in the 80s, people would often call the house to speak to my Dad using the colloquial phrase “Is the boss man in” My mother without fail always replied “Yes, you are speaking to her”.

#5

Image source: puppyduckydoo, Getty Images

This one feels super small, but I work at a company that is like 80% male and our paternity leave is only about 4 weeks. I had my son at a different company where both parents got 6 months of fully paid leave (a freaking miracle). So now, every time someone has a kid I make sure to ask my leadership why our paternity leave is so short because the dads need to be able to bond with their kids too. I explain how great mine and my husband’s were too and how that meant we both stayed at mediocre companies for a few years longer than we would have otherwise. Trying to get these men more time at home with their kids…

#6

Image source: RE1392, Getty Images

When both parents are present, I look at dad first when asking factual questions about their child. Date of birth, any allergies, etc. 95% of the time mom has to answer anyway, but I want dad to feel a tiny bit of shame that he doesn’t know. Maybe shame is a bit harsh, but I at least don’t want to perpetuate the idea that mom is responsible for everything and dad shouldn’t even know the basics.

One of my favorites that I’ve read before is daycare workers making a point to call dad first. As a working mom I appreciate that so much. I always make it a point to provide my husbands name and number first, yet somehow I am always called first 100% of the time.

#7

When they’re talking about how great men are at being providers and protectors I like to point out that it’s “not all men.”

Image source: caffeinated.miscellany

#8

I correct anyone who refers to a woman over 18 a “girl”. Nobody ever calls a man in their 20s a “boy”. Even news headlines still get this wrong. I will die on this hill!!! Also, there’s no such thing as “nonconsensual sex”. Either sex or r-pe.

Image source: sam.in.savannah

#9

Image source: jennifertrethewey, Mike Burns

I had a relative by marriage who would always stare at breasts in conversation. Rather that go the “my eyes are up here” route, I would engage him in conversation, staring at his crotch the whole time. He stopped talking to me—I considered it a win!

#10

Image source: Future-Magician-1040, Getty Images

I wrote a personal finance college textbook. On average, female examples were better off / making better choices than male examples.

#11

Image source: ettienja, Vitaly Gariev

At work I’ve noticed that by default it’s always the women who are expected to act as secretaries when there is a meeting among peers, so when I’m leading a meeting I will always ask a male colleague to take the notes! And when I’m on an email chain discussing setting up a meeting, I always designate a male colleague to check everyone’s calendars and set up the meeting. It’s such a little thing, but it’s little enough to fly under the radar. And bonus, if the men do notice they can’t argue about it without looking like jerks!

#12

Image source: moodybluereads, David Holmes

From now on whenever someone talks to me about sports I will say.. “is that the women’s or the mens team?”

#13

Wearing heels. Yes I am 6’3-6’4 in heels, yes I am taller than you, no I won’t make myself smaller.

Image source: itsmissalbac

#14

Image source: InterestingNarwhal82, Brooke Cagle

Addressing women by their title. I used to work with a lot of doctors – PhDs and MDs – and would default to “Dr. Andrews” (a woman) and “Phillip.” A lot of people would do the opposite, which led to men who weren’t doctors in either sense getting called “Doctor” and a woman who had multiple PhDs AND an MD being called “Kate.”

Including women on the to line and men on the cc line.

At home, I’m raising three girls; my entire personal life is feminism writ large. They have T-shirts that feature Sonia Sotomayor (I’m Puerto Rican, okay?) and say, “forget princess, call me your honor.” Their Fourth of July shirts have the Statue of Liberty, Rosie the Riveter, RBG, and a suffragette and say “girls will be girls.” I’m planning a photo shoot at a local suffragette memorial with them wearing Jane Austen themed shirts that say “Society of Obstinate, Headstrong Girls.”

One day, they won’t need permission to be loud and have big dreams, but today? I’ll teach them they always have MY permission to be authentically themselves, whoever that may be.

#15

I ALWAYS pay whenever my husband and I go out to eat, or to the movies or wherever, even though our finances are completely shared, hahaha.

Oh, also, in our house, my husband is the one that makes most meals, and our two daughters (3 and 4) are convinced that daddies are the ones that cook.

Image source: IocomestoBoh

#16

My friend’s teenage daughter likes to freak out her stepdad by announcing her period ‘I am shedding my uterine wall…’

Image source: awaywithpixie

#17

Image source: Brontosaurusbabe, Yan Krukau

I teach ESL to adults. When using photos for vocabulary, I almost always use pictures of women in professional jobs and tech jobs, and men doing domestic work and child care.

#18

I do enjoy asking folks to explain the sexist jokes they tell and watching them get so uncomfortable and disgusted with themselves they can’t finish.

Image source: persephone_stardust

#19

My two sons each have one night a week where they help me make dinner.

Tonight my almost 4 year old helped me make meatballs and dumped spaghetti in a pot. Obviously I’m not having him put things into or take things out of a hot oven, or touch the stove, but he’s mixing ground beef and I had him salt the water before I boiled it, etc. So like it’s easy for their ages, but it’s a start.

My sons *will* know how to cook.

Image source: pile_o_puppies

#20

Image source: KindlyMycologist4532, OPPO Find X5 Pro

I made my husband in charge of doing our daughter’s hair every morning.

Quality is mixed, but we’re working on it.

#21

A man told me how he was talking to his teenage sons about “a certain kind of girl.”
I inquired- you mean a woman who enjoys s*x? You do know women enjoy s*x, right?
You’re not getting away with sl*t shaming to me old man.

Image source: nolacorinne

#22

Image source: RealTough_Kid, Getty Images

I’m a lawyer and mostly work with male clients but I use the phrase “just between us girls” all the time. If women have normalized being called “guys” I don’t see what the difference is.

I also will address a group of men (man I work with a lot of men…) especially if they are younger than me and being annoying as “boys”. Again the number of times I’ve heard grown women referred to as “girls” is horrifying so just putting the shoe on the other foot when stakes are low.

#23

Image source: Jenuwinesc, Getty Images

Whenever anyone says they need to check with their doctor, attorney, CPA, etc. I always respond with, “Great! Let me know what she says!”

#24

Image source: riabobea93, TIME

Since the queen died I exclusively call her successor the male queen. It gets a giggle out of my feminist friends.

#25

Image source: Maleficent_Trust_504, nappy

I refer to all the teachers at my daughters’ school as “Ms.” and have convinced my husband to do the same. I explained that there is only “Mr” and why should a woman be differentiated based on marital status? He’s 100% all in and it’s amazing.

#26

Image source: bymegancc, Sora Shimazaki

Whenever a man acts disgusted by conversation of menstruation, to say “You wouldn’t be here if your mom didn’t have a period.”

#27

My son is 2.5 and loooves to do the dishes, he has his own vacuum, his own toddler swiffer wet jet-esque, he helps switch the laundry over and can clear his place at the table / put his dishes in the sink etc. He LOVES helping out and being part of the family dynamic, and he gets such a sense of pride from it. I got him a mini cleaning kit as well and he will wash the windows lol. We are big on teamwork in our house!

Image source: Interesting-Sky8695

#28

Image source: BeornsBride, Peter Muniz

I don’t move aside for men when I’m walking from the parking garage to my office. I’m not mean or stern about it, I simply stay on the path I was on.

sharon.a.life:

I’ve been working on not moving out of the way when walking down an aisle or sidewalk. It’s shocking how many men don’t move.

#29

My almost 90 year old grandma always address cards to my family with “Dr and Mr Jones” and I love it. FWIW, my hubs is unbothered by it.

Image source: wanderingknitter

#30

I like doing chivalrous acts for men. Opening doors, asking if they need help with grocery bags, etc. Tbh they always thank me, it’s like a really kind role reversal.

Image source: drawnbyaoife

#31

Image source: Sushi9999, Kampus Production

I purposely started my son on helping me unload the dishwasher and sometimes (when I can handle it) washing the dishes. We probably started when he was around one. He’s 2.5 now and regularly helps out. He knows where all the pots and pans and cutting boards go and puts them away all by himself. Both of us parents can do the night time routine as well so daddy is fully a nurturing parent. Also I got my son baby dolls and we pretend to take care of them.

#32

Image source: lizscottt, freestocks

Whenever a male coworker tells me his wife is pregnant I excitedly ask if he’s coming back to work after the baby is born. And then sit in the silence while they work through what just happened.

#33

Image source: catttmommm, Getty Images

I’m a teacher. I always tell all of my students (but especially the girls), “don’t say sorry. Say thank you.” No “sorry for bothering you.” It’s “thanks for helping me.” No, “sorry it took so long.” It’s “thank you for your patience.”

I have a 3 y/o son and a newborn daughter. Every outfit someone buys her that is uncomfortable or unnecessarily restrictive just to be “cute” goes straight in the trash or donation pile. No scratchy, uncomfortable girl clothes in this house! Play-ready outfits only.

#34

When our school district has a snow day, a lot of the dads show up to the office and the moms don’t. So I like to ask the dads, “Who’s taking care of the kids?”.

They always seem confused to hear that question, even though women hear it all the time.

Image source: RoRoRoYourGoat

#35

Image source: FlanneryOG, Getty Images

I don’t apologize for something that isn’t worth apologizing for like emailing someone a few times or asking for clarification.