20 People Who Used To Be All About The Childfree Lifestyle Get Raw And Real On Having Kids

Published 9 months ago

Recently, the child-free lifestyle has been making waves, but one aspect that hasn’t been discussed enough is when an individual changes their mind about being childfree. While there’s a rising trend of folks leaning towards staying child-free, various people who thought it was for them too and changed their minds are here to discuss the flipside. 

After all, what about when you meet the ‘one’, would the same ideology hold? What about instances where someone accidentally ended up as a parent, either by getting pregnant, adoption or as a step-parent? When asked if regret was ever part of the experience in these instances, folks stepped up to succinctly explain their change of heart and share their perspectives in the insightful stories shared below. 

Read more


Image source: gogojack, Carsten Vollrath

I never wanted to have kids.

Then I started dating someone who had one.

Thing is…the single mom was not – ultimately – “the one.” We got divorced and went our separate ways. But the kid?

That was a different story. Her bio-dad was out of the picture (he literally skipped town the day she was born) and I stepped into that role when she was 6 years old after nobody else would. Unconditional love from the get-go.

When her mom and I split up 6 years later, I told her that “no matter what happens, I will always be here for you.” I kept that promise, and am the guy who’s got a stack of Father’s Day cards and walked her down the aisle at her wedding.

I have no regrets.



Image source: oo—–D, Josh Willink

I don’t regret having my daughter, she’s the best but I immediately got a vasectomy. Kids are a huge responsibility and I wanna dedicate my full love, attention and resources to her. I wanna be the best dad I can be. The thought of another newborn at home sends shivers down my spine, though.



Image source: Fabulous_Pudding167, Josh Willink

My wife and I were of the opinion that we weren’t really parent material. Just a couple of big kids with a host of mental issues that barely functioned as adults.

Our kid was an accident, no two ways about it. We struggled with the idea, but in the end, dedicated ourselves to it. Both of us agreed on one thing… To be better parents than our own parents.

Ultimately, it’s not for me to decide. But she is safe, and loved, and overall fairly happy. We’re not perfect by any means… There are still moments of weakness, missed cues, miscommunication… But at the end of the day, she’s my little girl. I love teaching her and playing with her and I’m so glad I didn’t let pessimism keep me from one of the best parts of my life.



Image source: Odd-Cobbler2126, Vanessa Loring

I never wanted them. My then boyfriend, now husband was on the fence. After I married him and saw how he did his fair share of household duties, how supportive he was of my career, I thought “I wouldn’t mind having kids if he was going to pull his weight.”

So we just went along with the flow and one day I tested positive. Our son is exhausting but he brings so much happiness into our lives. But he brings extreme fear too. When your kid smiles at you and holds your hand, your world lights up. When he falls so sick that he needs to be rushed to the hospital or you see him bleeding from the mouth cos he split his lip… Those were some terrifying moments. You now live your life with your heart walking outside of your body.

Only have kids if you have complete faith in your partner.



Image source: FlakyAd1193, Keira Burton

Honestly? I probably shouldn’t have had kids. Couple points of clarification: I don’t know that “regret” is the right term, and I am in the tough time right now where they’re younger and a lot of work. But life is HARD with kids; they’re expensive and exhausting and as a mother you definitely lose a LOT of your identity the second they arrive. My husband is an incredible dad and my kids are gold hearted, beautiful tiny humans. But sending them into a rough world scares me, I gave up my medical career for them, and some days I just think of how nice it would be to travel more and be able to have a good nights sleep. I also don’t think my husband fully appreciates that it was a sacrifice I made for him out of pure, selfless, genuine love for him. I gave him the children he wanted and I love our life, but I’m committed for forever to being a mom and it’s not a job you can half a*s. ?‍♀️



Image source: Waytoloseit, Anete Lusina

My husband swore up and down that he didn’t believe in marriage or kids. I was always told I couldn’t have kids, and was just out of an 8 year-long relationship when I met him. I wanted to have fun, and he seemed like a great person.

Three months in, and I remember just looking at him and knowing… This was it. This was my person. A year later, he started talking about marriage while we were on a camping trip. Little did we know we also conceived our first son during that trip…

A month goes by, and I’m feeling sick and nauseous all the time. I end up buying a pregnancy test and discover that, yep. I’m pregnant. I go home to our house, and decide to let him off the hook. I want the baby, but I’m not going to make him be a part of a child’s life if he doesn’t want to be.

I sit down to tell him, and the moment I look at him, I can’t help but blurt it out. He got the biggest, silliest grin on his face. And said ‘yes, let’s do it! I want it all. I want to marry you. I want to have children with you. All of it!’

I didn’t believe him for another two months. Not until he took me away for the weekend, and proposed.

I will never forget the love in his eyes as he kneeled down and asked me to marry him. It was pouring down rain and I could still see the tears of happiness in his eyes when I said yes.

We now have two (miracles!! I was given less than 1% chance of having one child, let alone TWO) kiddos, and are extremely happy together. He is the best father. He is best buddies with our boys. I melt each time I see them all together.

My SIL says that she never believed in love until she saw our relationship. ❤️



I never wanted kids, fell in love, decided we wanted a baby, had a healthy baby boy. Three years later my husband died. It was so f*****g hard to raise our son by myself. I love him so deeply and with so much fierceness and I can’t imagine my life without him. However, if I had never known the power of that love, I don’t think I would have regretted not having children.

Image source: MrsRayPurchase


Image source: Paganoid_Prime, Alena Darmel

My GF (26f at time) and I (20m at that time) were driving and a couple kids ran across the road and I had to crash my car to avoid them. After the accident i exploded and beat the steering wheel and said, “GD it! I f-ing hate kids!” She started crying and told me she was pregnant.

I am sitting on the couch now with my grown son and baby grandson. Ex is 1500 miles away.

I have no regrets.



Image source: Tasty_Data_Tater_Tot, Karolina Grabowska

I never wanted kids. Met my husband and had three. I didn’t regret it at all until the world starting going to s**t and I now I feel incredibly guilty that I’ve brought them into such a dismal reality.



Image source: sun_cardinal, Luana Freitas

Ayooo, never wanted kids, tequila said, “hold my beer!”

Didn’t find out until my then girlfriend was something like five months along because she was having her period on time the whole time. We found out the gender the same appointment we found out we were expecting.

We went home, freaked out, cried, and generally wallowed in our own self pity.

I was raised by a single mom and a parade of her boyfriends in conjunction with a s****y dad and his parade of new wives. I decided right there that I would be the dad I wish I had growing up.

Wife and I are celebrating thirteen amazing years together and the little guy turns eleven next month.

He is the light of our lives.



Image source: iijjjijjjijjiiijjii, Karolina Grabowska

It’s hard to regret having kids. I honestly think we made the wrong decision, but I also wouldn’t give up my kiddo for anything in the world.

We are stressed, broke, haven’t had a date night in two years, and our mental health is closer to the breaking point on a regular basis than it ever was before.

The sound of that giggling voice, though…



Image source: i-pi**-excellence32, Amina Filkins

I never wanted to get married or have kids. I’m now in bed with my wife who’s pregnant with our second child and I’m excited to celebrate my first sons birthday this weekend.

I can’t believe I almost didn’t experience this. Becoming a father has been by far the best thing that ever happened to me.



Image source: kitjen, Trần Long

My wife told me years ago that she did not want to have kids and I accepted that. We had a nice life of doing what we wanted and I didn’t want that to change… then.

After a while I did think about wanting children and luckily she also changed her mind. We have one child now and my wife is the best mother ever. I think I’m a good dad but I’m not even close to how amazing she is as a parent.

So it ended up good.



I never wanted kids. Met my now wife and she wanted kids. When I say she talked me into having one child, it wasn’t like she was nagging me or anything like that. But she did talk me into it. After trying for a few years and nothing happening we got into foster care. Which totally change my outlook.

I went from not wanting any kids, to wanting to help as many children as possible. Being a foster dad and seeing what some of these children go through is heartbreaking.

Anyways we ended up adopting a girl (who turns three on July 2nd), who was in our care since she was 2 days old. And we had another girl not long after (after we stopped treatments to help with pregnancy).

I don’t get to travel like I want to, or be spontaneous anymore. But I do not regret anything at all. I’ve found emotions watching them grow up and interact that I didn’t know I had.

Image source: gapajeff



Yeah I never wanted kids. I was *vehemently* against it for 34 years.

Then my wife got pregnant (unplanned, whoops) and decided to keep it (her decision but I said I’d support her whatever she chose, because I love her sincerely). I lived in dread throughout the entire pregnancy, and seriously worried whether I’d be a strong enough person to deal with what came next, and whether our relationship would survive it.

Then my daughter was born. And, er, yeah I’ve never been happier in my life. Turns out I didn’t know s**t about s**t before. Whole thing actually made me rethink my position on a lot of stuff and made me more open to trying new things. It’s hard work and terrifying, but totally worth it to me.

Still got plenty of respect for people that decide against having kids though – each to their own.

Image source: Toblerone05


I had a miserable childhood. I cried every day, got screamed at all day long. I never wanted to have kids. All I wanted was to have my own place and be left alone. Never wanted to be with anyone (my mom was miserable because of my dad).

Then I met my husband (on reddit too). He was the sweetest funniest person. I remember we had a discussion about kids.. I said I never wanted kids. He said he’d really like to have a mini him but he’d respect my wishes to not have kids. Well, a few pregnancy ‘scares’ later and I cried every time the test was negative.. I realized I do want kids, a future, house and all that with him.

We just bought a house together a few months ago, we just had a baby a few weeks ago who is still in the NICU. Its crazy to think about.

I can’t answer this question fully since our baby’s not even home yet, but people can change. I was dead set on never having kids. But then I found my soul mate and I wanted one.

Image source: maipoxx


Image source: XenonAegis, Anete Lusina

I met the one when she had a 10 month old girl and an ex that wanted nothing to do with responsibility. I thought I didn’t want kids until I held my daughter in my arms. She’s 15 now and her sister is 10. Yesterday my daughter said to me she hopes someday she can find someone who will love her the way I love her mother. I’m not a crying type of man but that broke me.

To anyone who says they’ll never want children, I say okay no problem, no one should pressure you. But just be open to the idea that you might change someday and that’s okay too.



It’s yes to both. Sometimes I regret it. Other times I realize it was a wonderful decision. Life can be both.

Image source: kanid99



Dont wait. If you want kids now, do it. I waited- did everything society said I had to do as a woman- college, travel, marriage- sadly, my husband died before we got to really try. We got married in 2014. We started trying then I had a bad miscarriage . We waited a bit then he passed. Not only did I grieve him, I grieved the life we had planned together – the children we didnt get to have, etc. It’s been 5 years since he passed and as you know, dating pool sucks lol so I am looking into just having a child on my own. I am blessed with a great family and support system to be able to do this on my own if I decide to do so.

Image source: Anabanana831



Image source: rowenaravenclaw0, Alena Darmel

I grew up having to help raise my uncle’s extremely large brood of kids. I saw the toll that being constantly being pregnant and having to look after an ever growing football team’s worth of kids had on her. I swore that was never going to be me.

I met my husband , and got pregnant by accident twice. My girls are my life now and i’m glad that I had them. I am also glad that we have permanently fixed that issue so we don’t have more.

Shanilou Perera

Shanilou has always loved reading and learning about the world we live in. While she enjoys fictional books and stories just as much, since childhood she was especially fascinated by encyclopaedias and strangely enough, self-help books. As a kid, she spent most of her time consuming as much knowledge as she could get her hands on and could always be found at the library. Now, she still enjoys finding out about all the amazing things that surround us in our day-to-day lives and is blessed to be able to write about them to share with the whole world as a profession.

Got wisdom to pour?



childfree, childfree choice, childfree lifestyle, no kids, regrets
Like deMilked on Facebook
Want more milk?
Hit like for a daily artshake!
Don't show this - I already like Demilked