35 Spousal Secrets That Were Revealed Only After The Couple Said “I Do”

In contemporary society, individuals often take the time to get to know their potential romantic partners before committing to them legally. After all, marriage is a serious undertaking, and the choice of a life partner can profoundly impact one’s happiness and fulfilment. Despite the gravity of this decision, many people still enter into this important contract without being fully aware of all the relevant facts. 

#1

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My ex husband failed to mention that his first marriage ended because he cheated on her three weeks in, that he hadn’t been to Afghanistan, that his sister was actually still alive, and so much more.

EDIT: Typo.

#2

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My ex wife neglected to mention she was a lesbian until after we were married.

Kind of a deal breaker.

#3

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Well my grandpa’s real name was Upton and he thought it was really weird so when he met my grandma he told her his name was James. Three weeks later (yes they got married after three weeks of knowing each other, the story is actually adorable) the priest asked my grandma if she takes Upton to be her husband. This resulted in my grandma yelling in front of the entire church “who the h**l is Upton?!” And then realizing my grandpa had lied to her because he thought his name was weird, she goes “oh Lord yes I do to take this stupid man as my husband.” They were married 65 years with three boys, the oldest of which was named James. I never saw a couple more in love or meant for each other than my grandparents, God rest their souls.

EDIT: I originally wasn’t going to include the story of how my grandparents met since it is completely irrelevant to the original question and I didn’t want an extremely long post, but people seem interested so here goes! (Also I do love telling it since it is so cute.)

My grandparents Upton (or rather Uppy which is what I called him) and Pearl met when he was 21 and she was 19. She was super tall and skinny, he was shorter and muscular. She had some serious attitude and he was the most soft-spoken and gentle man you could find. In other words, they were complete opposites but as they liked to say, it really was love at first sight.

Pearl and her sister Rose were out to eat one day when Rose pointed out the handsome military man sitting at a table across the room from them. This of course was the infamous Upton who had just gotten back from fighting in World War II where he had earned a purple heart while holding off a squad of Nazis so the rest of his men could retreat. This is not actually important to the story, I just wanted to point out how much of a badass he was.

Anyway, Pearl agreed that he was handsome and told Rose that she could get his attention just by walking by. So she gets up and sashays right by him, swaying hips and long legs passing right under his nose, as she goes to the telephone next to him.

And he says nothing. Doesn’t even look her way. Pissed off, my extremely self-confident grandmother heads back to her sister but refuses to admit defeat. She sits down and about two minutes later gets up and heads back to the telephone, hips swaying even more. Still, Uppy doesn’t even bat an eye. Even when Pearl struts by him 7 more times with her skirt hiked up practically to her ears.

On the eighth time, she storms right over to him, slams her palm on the table, and practically hollers into Uppy’s stunned face, “what the h**l is the matter with you! Can’t even give a woman the common courtesy to admire her when she walks by?!”

Uppy, after taking a minute to recover, says, “well my dear,” as a big ol’ grin spreads across his face, “I sent the waiter over to your table with my number on it the first time you passed by. After that, I didn’t want to say anything because I was just enjoying the show.”

My completely mortified grandma spun back around to her sister who was laughing her a*s off, waving his number in the air. She was about to storm off when Uppy grabbed her hand and with a completely serious look on his face tells her, “I would have said something to you when you walked by the first time, but I wanted to be rejected when you threw away my number rather than when you said no to my face. I never thought in a million years a woman as beautiful as you would have wanted the attentions of an average man like me. You must forgive me for not knowing you kept coming back for me. I truly thought you just kept forgetting the number you wanted to call. That would have made much more sense.”

That night they went on their very first date and three weeks later they were married. My grandpa always used to say they got married so soon because he was afraid my grandma would come to her senses before he could pop the question.

I am sorry I am not a good writer or story teller, I was just repeating the story as my grandma Pearl always used to tell me it. Hope you enjoyed it :)

EDIT 2: Holy s**t. My first gold. Thank you so much stranger!! Its cheesy but seriously this means so much. My grandpa Uppy passed away when I was 9 from cancer and my grandma Pearl just passed away in January this year so it is truly amazing I was able to share their story and so many of you enjoyed it. I am so happy I was able to honor them this way because they really were amazing people and its been hard without them. Thank you again!! :).

#4

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That if my family didn’t stay in line with how he acted, he’d try to cut me off from them. Oh, and he had some really bad anger issues.

When he became a*****e, he hit me and kicked me out of the house. Now, my family isn’t perfect. We fight, normal family issues. We’re not d**g dealers or rapists, but we’re family. We love each other. So naturally, when I came home in the middle of the night, crying, three hours away (we lived in another city), they had something to say about it.

Now, I was married. I tried to make it work. So I went back. Naturally, my family wasn’t excited about that. But I went back anyway. Then it got worse.

So then he told me that I couldn’t talk to them anymore. Actually, his exact words were, “cut your family out of your life, or leave.” So I left.

It all worked out for the best. My mom was diagnosed with cancer and I’m helping take care of her. I see my niece and nephew a lot. I have a good job. My life is relatively simple, and I’m happy.

The best revenge is to live well.

#5

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That despite the life plans we’d talked about, once we married he expected me to be the breadwinner, the homemaker, cook and accountant in the family. He needed to “stay home and work on his music”. Oh, and that two bedroom place? No, he didn’t want kids, he wanted his own bedroom. Oh, and intimacy? “I could just “do my business” in your room, but sleep in my own bed after”. Nope, nope, nope.

#6

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The fact that she is actually a good cook! For 10 years I cooked almost every meal because every time she cooked it wasn’t very.. well.. good.
Got married and ever since she has made awesome meals which are absolutely beautiful. I asked her when she learned to cook and she told me she had always known how to cook but wanted to make sure I wasnt marrying her to be a housewife that cooks and cleans for her husband.

#7

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That he could juggle.

You’re with someone for a decade and you think you know him, then all of a sudden he starts juggling the four oranges he’s holding and when your jaw drops just says, “oh, I learned when I was a kid.”

This whole time we could have been on the road as a circus act and he waits until now to reveal his talents.

#8

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That he actually *didn’t* want kids, and that now we were expecting I needed to honor that.

No longer married.

#9

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That she was bi polar and anorexic. I knew about them, don’t get me wrong, but I had never seen any issues in the 2 years we dated or the 7 years we were friends. I knew she had had troubles but it all seemed under control. Looking back there were signs, but love. A month after we got married I had to enroll her in an eating recovery institute. 9 months. Not cheap. No problem though. I just wanted her to get better. A month after she got home I had to send her to the local hospital where she stayed for two weeks while she went through a really tough time and they adjusted her meds. No problem though. I love her. A few months after that she admits to me she never loved me (or anybody for that matter) she just put up a front for public. Well, let’s see of we can work on it. I still love her. March of this year. She tells me she is a lesbian and leaves me for another woman. I am all for it. If this is who she is I can respect that, but f**k me. It sucks, but in all honesty it was a weight off of my shoulders. I didn’t realize how much her problems had been affecting me. When the papers were signed I felt like a new man. I felt like then sun shone a bit brighter. I had just started my dream job too, so I was able to throw myself into that. I still do love her, but I am not in love with her. I never knew what that meant until this happened. If she ever asks me for help I will be there for her, but I will never ever get back
Together with her. God that felt good to type. I don’t think I have ever said it all out loud before.

#10

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My ex wife hid her physical violent tendencies until after marriage. Nothing like getting punched for not doing the dishes correctly.

#11

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I didn’t find out until our divorce that my ex-husband had credit card debt and no retirement savings. His company had a good 401k match and he had told me that he was contributing. Turns out he had never even set up his 401k and was not putting any money toward retirement savings, in addition to accumulating credit card debt.

Thankfully all the debt was in his name and the divorce filing had him paying all of his debt and me keeping all of my retirement savings. Bullet dodged there.

#12

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When my grandparents got married, my grandmother was 24 , and thought my grandfather was 25. It was during their honeymoon that he confessed that he was only 19. Gran was annoyed, obviously, but I think she was too relieved to be married to stay mad at him; 24 was getting close to being left on the shelf for an Irish Catholic woman in the 60s.

#13

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My EX-wife after a 4 year relationship and 2 years marriage told me she didn’t really love me and had just stayed with me because I was a good catch but now that I had worked hard there was enough money in a divorce that she could have any young guy she wanted, we were 5 years apart in age.

Got her the f**k out in 5 days with a separation letter and cash settlement of 1/3 of all assets, minimal legal fee’s. My lawyer said she had set me up perfect and just to pay and be free, took 5 years to pay off the settlement.

#14

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I didn’t know that my wife loved rap music. Gangster rap. And can rap. Introverted middle-class white girl loves (and can perform) D12 (filth and all) and Eminem’s stuff, taking particular relish in the more misogynistic and violent songs.

Blew my mind. Had no f*****g clue.

#15

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She farts. A lot.

Seriously, 2 1/2 years of dating and never heard a squeak. After the wedding, farting constantly.

I’m really surprised she didn’t let one rip at the alter after I said, “I do.”

#16

First wife was in deep denial about her own sexuality. But married me and had two children to prove to her mother that she was a good daughter. Completely f****d up, I know. The charade was over by year seven and we had two healthy children.

Second wife was deeply in debt up to her eyeballs and hid it from me. I found out about it when I answered a call from a debt collector the day before we got married.

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#17

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My, now late, husband came to me directly from his mother’s home and into mine. I cooked, cleaned, and did everything that a good old fashioned wife does for her husband, all the while he claims that he cannot do these things.

After living together for four years, two years into our marriage I became so ill that I was laid up for weeks. I feared that we would both starve and be living in filth and poverty from eating out until he surprised me with a, better than my own, home cooked meal. It was delicious! Even the house was cleaner than ever.

I think it’s hilarious that he hid his domestic talents from me for so long and was even better than me. I was duped for four years!

#18

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She hid the fact that she’d bought me a PS3, Oblivion, Infamous, and Fallout 3 as a wedding present until we got home from our honeymoon.

#19

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That she thought I was weird for wanting s*x daily and that we would slow down to a “normal” once a month or less after marriage.

#20

My husband died 10 years ago but we were married for 27 years. After about year 10 of marriage he told me that his mom had shot his dad after catching him cheating, not killing him, but ending a long and successful career in the military. After he finally told me this, a lot of things that had never made sense to me before finally did.

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#21

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This is hard to talk about.

My beloved husband… he… LOVES country music. I seriously didn’t find out until after we were married. Before hand, we’d listen to rock and heavy metal and oldies. Then, he just dropped that b**b on me. It was a nightmare.

At some point, we just agreed to disagree and to never talk about it.

He goes to concerts and shows without me, and that is just fine.

#22

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My boyfriend got married in his twenties to this extremely stupid chick. She told him two days after they were married that BTW, she’d been f*****g his best friend for like 6 months. She didn’t want to tell him before they got married because she was afraid he’d break up with her.

It was a quick marriage and even quicker divorce.

#23

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That he’ll happily do the dishes right after s*x, without even being asked. I seriously couldn’t believe it. What kind of a guy did I get landed with?

#24

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He actually was living under a false identity. He stole the identity of his military superior when both of them were attacked in Korea.

EDIT: Yes, I divorced him, but that’s not the first lie he told me and it got to the point where I just couldn’t tell whether or not he was lying anymore. I fell out of love with him because he was like a stranger to me.

#25

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That she is bisexual. She apparently didnt think I would be accepting, so she waited til a year and a half in. Not even mad.

#26

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That she has twins in the family. Our second set of twin girls turned one this month.

#27

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Well thankfully I didn’t marry her but we were engaged and 2 months before getting married she unleashed her violent tendencies. She would hit me if I ever argued with her and when I told her to stop she would hit harder. I also found out that she had a bipolar issue thus her abusing me and would also cut herself and when I tried to break off the marriage because of this she threatened to k**l herself. I called the cops when she pulled a knife out and threatened to hurt me and herself. She told them that I had been hurting her and when I told them what was really happening they laughed and took me to jail. I eventually had enough of her s**t and didn’t care what happened and got the f**k out of there. Best decision of my life.

#28

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Three time felon looking to get married then divorced so she could get paid.

Divorced and broke now.

#29

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He was a massive stoner. I tried to move on and live with it, I even coped by joining him. But I got fat, lazy and depressed. I also was the only one working. It took me 6 years, but I left him, eventually remarried and I am very very happy.

#30

My brother’s wife forgot to mention her boyfriend. Oops. It could happen to anyone.

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#31

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That she pretty much only married me to raise her two children from two previous marriages. Took me 18 years to learn that one but now she doesn’t want to be a wife or a mother as I’ll be keeping the 16 year old we had together so at least I got that going for me….

#32

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My ex hid from me several things: the fact that he was sleeping with 16 year old girls (legal here), getting drunk with minors, was spending the money I was earning for bills (since he wouldn’t work) on said alcohol for minors, and that he was an a*****e jerk.

He’s in prison now, but not for any of those things.

#33

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He’s afraid of heights.

We were together 7 years before we tied the knot (tax reasons and love of course). 2 years later, and I finally realize why he seems disinterested in sky diving, zip lining, roller coasters, cliff sides, etc.. He said he only did it because I wanted him to.

I am not an observant woman.

#34

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Oh my god. My husband his that his favorite radio show was car talk and that we would have to listen to it every Saturday morning. Every Saturday until I left for college, my dad made me listen to that show. When I graduated, I thought, “at last. I’ll never have to listen to that on a Saturday morning again.” I was wrong. I’ll have to listen to it every time my husband catches a rerun until they stop playing them or until the end of time.

#35

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Found out my wife had picked up smoking cigarettes. I told her I would break up with her if she started (my grandmother died of emphysema a year before we met) and I found a pack on our honeymoon! Needless to say I was pissed. She is trying to switch to ecigs now after 3 years. Trying to be supportive.