20 Parents Share Hilarious Stories Of Their Kids With Questionable Intelligence
We all have our moments where rational thoughts leave us in the face of a problem and we feel clueless about how to proceed. The first solution that pops to mind is generally asking your parents. No matter the age, they have been our heroes in shining armour so naturally our parents are bound to have stories galore of the most idiotic things kids get up to in return.
We combed through the “I think I’m raising an idiot” realm of subreddit and found some silly and goofy tales. So scroll below for a few good laughs as these patient parents share stories of kids that have questionable judgement due to innocence or perhaps incompetent decision-making skills. Either way, we can certainly appreciate the humour of the situation and we hope you do too.
More info: Reddit
Told my kid that carrots help you see in the dark, he then went into the basement with a carrot and started waving it around like a flashlight.
When my youngest son, who was 10 at the time, was getting his ears checked at the pediatrician and they found a “foreign object” in his left ear.
Said object was a dead housefly. Because he thought sticking a fly in his ear would give him flying powers.
He had caught it and shoved it in there alive about a week prior.
When I asked my 14yo if she could please bring me a piece of cake, she cut it, forgot why, then ate it.
One day after school my brother and i met up w my dad (he worked at the school) and the janitor and began walking to the parking lot.
We passed the elementary building and the janitor lets out a huge sign about “some punk writing their name on the facade”
My dad looks over and said “It’s the same name as my kid but at least his name is spelled differently since it has a C in it”
My brother: I FORGOT THE C!!!
he was not the sharpest tool in the shed…
My son spent 18 months of his teenage years telling people he was born in Brazil. He was born in Bristol
My dad’s moment was when I made him drive around with me because my car had been making a “thunk” noise every time I made a turn. After 15 minutes he announced it was the baseball bat in my trunk rolling around.
3 year old is preparing for his bath. His underwear looks strange but I’m distracted his brother. Kid takes off one pair of underwear, then a 2nd pair, then a 3rd. I ask why he is wearing 3 pairs of underwear. Kid looks at me like I’m an idiot, “Mom told me to put on a clean pair every day”.
That nonautistic kid grew up to place the highest in math in our large Midwestern city. But even in his 20’s you have to make sure you give clear instructions as he will follow rules to the letter.
I asked my kids what the biggest dinosaur was and my oldest (15Y/O male) said paleontologist without skipping a beat. That’s when I knew I was in trouble. Then my friend told my 10-year old that the dirt on the car tasted like candy, so he licked it. He tried to get his 6-year-old brother to do it but even he wasn’t falling for it. At least 3 out of 5 kids will move out of my house eventually.
I’m the idiot kid, but when I was about 3, after preparing dinner, my mom would leave me alone in the kitchen. After I finished, I would search for some M&Ms to nibble at, knowing I wasn’t allowed.
Every time after I finished, I would go over to my mom and ask her “Did you hear me eating M&Ms in the kitchen?”. She would always reply yes and I would always get so frustrated, because every time I tried to be as stealthy as possible.
I never realized what blew my cover until I grew older.
I don’t think he’s an idiot but I think he lacks common sense because he’ll take a bite of food, it will be scalding hot. He’ll cry and act like he’s dying, but won’t spit it out. He’ll say “Mommy it’s hot!!” And I’ll say “Well I told you to wait for it to cool down,” or “Then blow on it” or something to that effect. He will say no, and then continue taking scalding hot bites and crying that it’s too hot.
In his defense his father’s the same way.
I used to tell my kids not to take off their shoes and socks in the car, especially on short trips. Just leave them on so that we don’t have to spend 5 minutes finding and putting them back on before we run into the store. Imagine a single dad with two young kids running around the car trying to re-shoe my children in the grocery store parking lot in the middle of an Arizona summer, yuck. One day we went to the store and my daughter was missing her shoe. It was nowhere to be found. “Daddy, I didn’t want you to be mad that my shoe was off so I threw it out the window.” Made sense to a 5-year old I guess.
My 13 year old son was sniffing really hard and moving his head all around the area he was standing in. Slightly concerned he had lost his mind, I asked him what he was doing. He told me, “I farted. I’m trying to smell it all up, so you dont have to smell it.” He’s a thoughtful idiot.
“I need, like, a jacket for my legs.” – said by my 13 year old who does know what pants are.
My brother couldn’t remember the proper name for shoes so he called them ‘foot houses’. Mum confirmed that day that at least one of her teenage children was a bit doughy up top.
When one of my daughters tries to insult the other by telling her how ugly she is.
They’re identical twins.
My youngest son, 14! years old, when we were on a train and he was looking outside: “Mum, what are these plants?”
Me: “They are potato plants.”
He: “Fries are made from potatoes, right?”
Me: “Yes, of course. You know that, we made our own, can’t you remember?”
He: “They should plant fries instead. No one likes potatoes!”
He looked at me with a face that said: “I invented space and time travel, bow in front of your genius son!” I just closed my eyes and hoped for the best.
He is a site engineer now and does well in life, because everything that isn’t job related is managed by his wife. She is a godsend and I try to be the best mother in law that exists, because I want her to stay with him forever!!!
My son came to our house to visit (he didn’t live with us), we weren’t home but we on our way home so he let himself in.
We walk in and he’s freaking out about breaking our newly adopted cat or something to that effect. I asked him what was she doing, she looked fine to me. He said she was “vibrating” when she sat on his lap.
This is where he learned about cats purring. He hadn’t been around a lot of cats so idk.
When my son was 11 years old, he confidently informed me he was pretty sure he knew everything there was to know, because he tried to think of something that he didn’t know, and couldn’t think of anything.
I’ve got myself one of those smart idiots. 4.0 middle schooler. Cannot operate a door, buckle, lock or latch even if she seen it before. Has twice caught the microwave on fire trying to make popcorn, we’re not even sure how. I don’t think she could find her way to her friends house around three corners if her life depended on it.
Hopefully she will find some sort of job near her house that requires deductive reasoning but maybe doesn’t have its own office with the key.
Image source: anon
His car battery died while be was parked at the storage unit while he was home on leave from the army.
Come to find out he had turned off the car to save gas, but had left the heat/ blowers, and seat warmers on so his girlfriend wouldn’t get cold.
He’s in Army Intelligence.