45 People’s True Stories That Sound Made Up

There are so many crazy things that happen in our lives that if only others knew it would blow them away. But for the most part, we live our lives knowing our story but not so much about others unless they choose to share.  Redditors got together to do exactly that when one user asked what incidents occurred in their lives that sounded totally unrealistic and unbelievable but did in fact happen. Scroll below for some revelations that sound impossibly fake but hey, as the saying goes, sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. 

#1

Image source: Historical-Yam7902, NatalieZera My grandmother prevented the neighbor boy from kidnapping our next door neighbor. Our house was the bus stop. I woke up sick that morning and didn’t go to school. Grandma was the neighborhood grandma and kept an eye on the kids that were at the stop every morning. She was watching the girl at the corner (she was the only one riding that morning), looked back and she was gone. He was dragging her accross our backyard with a knife to her throat. My grandma ran at him screaming and throwing rocks at him while i called the cops. She won citizen of the year in our city.

#2

I broke my humerus while sitting stock still at my computer desk. Bone cancer had eaten through it and it chose that moment to just snap in half. 0/10 do not recommend Edit: just to answer some questions— I did not realize I had cancer at the time! This was how I found out. I had my elbow resting on the arm rest, so I imagine the pressure was what finally did it in. I am okay now, almost 10 years in remission! Image source: dedizenoflight

#3There’s a lamb that hates me and goes out of its way to kick only me when i visit my fathers farm.

Image source: Sad-Campaign8940, darrenb29

#4 I have a tech company, and we are not in the best financial situation. We had a very big contract awaiting signature, well it won't get signed because the person responsible for the project was one of the 5 casualties from the Titan submarine ....

Image source: RakoGumi, homajob

#5

Image source: somedoofyouwontlike, photovs When I was in elementary school we went on a class trip to one of those old colonial towns to see how life was back then for settlers. During lunch break I went to the bathroom and a man paid me to take pictures of me in the bathroom. I was really excited to get money. Next thing I knew I was in a police car scared out of my mind that I was in trouble. I kept apologizing to the cop while my mom tried to calm me down. I remember crying all night that my principal would hate me because I made the cops come. What an odd memory.

#6 I was hit in the head by a bowling ball on a trampoline. 911 hung up on my cousin because they thought it was a prank.

Image source: RecycledDonuts, marcmll

#7

When I was 3-5 my mom married my little brothers dad. She was working basically all the time, and also trying to balance out school. After she had my little brother, his dad started getting... hostile towards me. For context, I was living with my mom, twin sister, little brother, step brother, step sister, and stepfather (now he's an ex stepfather). His daughter was awesome. His son was a completely different story. So, my ex stepfather abused me, just about every day for 2 years. I didn't know what to think about it because I was so young. He used to beat me with his belt, lock me in the attic, make me drink beer. He left me in the woods. But, he was smart enough to hit me where the marks wouldn't be seen by my mom. He did give me a black eye once by punching me in the face. He always screamed at me. He scared me. Every time his kids did something wrong he blamed me for it and he beat me for it. I hate him. And every time I go down to my bio dad's house I'm scared I'll see him again. I'm scared he will try to do it again. His son, who was around 10-12 at the time used to groom me. He and I shared a room, and he made me touch him at night. And every time I said "I don't want to" he'd break something, or say I hit him, or lock me in the closet. All of those getting me beaten by his dad. I'm 16 now and I'm still trying to get over it. I'm hurting. I wish I could go back and change it. I had my childhood stripped away from me because my mom had bad taste in men, and that's unforgivable. She doesn't believe the scars he left. She negates what i say and feel, just so that she can feel better about herself. I have panic attacks whenever I smell a certain type of alcohol now, and I have panic attacks whenever I smell weed. I'm claustrophobic too, and I hate being alone in the dark. Thank you for listening. I had to get it out there in a way that I'm comfortable with. Tldr; my ex step-dad abused me and his son groomed me when I was 3-5 years old, and my mom still doesn't care. Update: I've been going to therapy for a few weeks now. The only reason for that being I have pnes (ptsd related non epileptic seizures. Basically if I have a panic attack it could cause a seizure.) My therapy is tbcbt, or, trauma based cognitive behavioral therapy. The only reason my mother is allowing me to do this is because A. I almost died because of a seizure (caused by my current stepfather because he hit me and held me in a headlock after screaming at me) and B. So that I could stop pissing her off by not wanting to be around her. Both my mother and current step-dad are abusive. I can't do anything about it. As a 16 year old, I can't legally move out unless I get emancipated in the state of PA. Image source: NopulsebelikeYT

#8

Image source: Usernamer0987654321, Pressmaster My cousin beat my aunt to death then put a towel over her face and sat down and ate dinner. My other cousin had a welfare check and they found him watching tv with her body in the kitchen. Edit: this happened about 10 years ago in Florida. My cousin is mentally unstable. Due to a car accident that happens to him when he was in his teens and has been on medication his whole life and I guess the older he got the worse he got. He was in his late 40’s when he killed my aunt. I guess they got into an argument and he snapped and beat her to death. Then cleaned up and put all the evidence in the attic but left her lying on the kitchen floor with the towel over her face. He’s been in a mental institution ever since.

#9

Image source: 4rch, tpain Not me but my uncle. He was in Jamaica when his wife who was doing fitness classes, died due to a perforated bowel from a meal at the resort and the authorities drove him to an ATM and told him he's going to be suspect #1 if he doesn't pay them and he'll never have his wife repatriated to the US. He complied and they took him back to the resort, unbeknownst to him, T-Pain was also there and caught wind of the situation and worked magic with his connections to keep my uncle safe and bring my aunt home for a funeral, as well as providing his bodyguard protection to my uncle. To this day, almost two decades later, they will video chat on holidays like Easter to talk and in my view that man is a saint to our family. Anytime he's in town they'll meet backstage before one of his concerts and they'll have a big hug. One time he met his family. I will never forget the kindness this man has shown over DECADES, it's insane Edit: sharing a pic of T-Pain hugging my uncle [https://i.imgur.com/4wFcqda.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/4wFcqda.jpg) Edit2: Yes, that is my Uncle. And I want to call out that in 2007, T-Pain was **23 years old** when he did this selfless act. In my opinion that just amplifies the character he holds himself to that you see in his actions throughout his entire life. What an awesome man.

#10

Image source: WrightButAlwaysWrong, AZ-BLT I lived in a small quiet town and my house was in a cul-de-sac so all the neighbors knew each other and we all got along well. One night when I was about 12 years old, I was babysitting my baby brothers (twins). It was bedtime so we were laying in my mom’s bed watching a movie to wind down. Suddenly they both start whining that they want chocolate milk. I was super annoyed because I just wanted them to go to sleep so I could be off the clock, so to speak. Just as we walked through the doorway and out of the bedroom, I heard what sounded like firecrackers going off in the bedroom we just left. I peeked my head back in the doorway and heard a couple more. It sounded like it was coming from the closet which was about a foot away from me at this point. I called my mom and told her what happened and that I was scared. We didn’t go back in the room until she got home. Once she was home, we discovered several bullet holes throughout the bedroom- in the walls, in the closet door, and one in the corner of the tv- so we called the cops. They figured out that our neighbor had been doing some target practice in his garage (and drinking) and his garage wall faced our house. So the bullets entered my mom’s bedroom through the wall, just a few inches above her bed, which had no headboard. Right where our heads had been while we were lying there watching the movie. If those little buttheads hadn’t bothered me for chocolate milk at that exact moment, things could have been very different.

#11

Image source: Wellthatwasjustshit, Threetails05 In 1986 my parents planned a trip to Disney in FL, a random man tried to kidnap my half brother by snatching him and running. He was tackled, my brother was safely returned to us and nothing happened to the guy as he disappeared into the crowd. Fast forward to 1989, in Ohio at a pop up circus in a field, I was given change to go get a popcorn. A man dressed as a clown approached me and after several long minutes of small talk grabbed me. Bystanders saw the ordeal and a random man with exquisite side burns chased down this man who had thrown me into his pickup truck and gunned it. Mr sideburns and another man were able to pull him from the vehicle and stop the truck as it rolled into a parking lot and hit several parked vehicles. I was fine other than some forehead scrapes from hitting the dash. The clown was not a circus performer or associated with the circus. He was an opportunistic predator. I can’t even say either of these events were the worst part of my childhood. Also, f**k clowns.

#12 A huge tree branch fell through the roof in my bedroom during a storm and about a minute after that a couple raccoons fell into my room.

Image source: chep127, jennimareephoto

#13 Not mine but a friend’s story

When she was about 5 or so she was at CVS with her dad when someone robbed the store. While the robber is pointing a gun and yelling at everyone to get on the ground, her dad, being an Asian man born in Asia, says “Happy Halloween” because he thought it was a costume. This happened in November. Image source: _thisisthebadplace_

#14 I got hit by lightning while driving my car down the interstate. Completely killed the computer system and totaled the car out.

Image source: Lucky_Tangerine_9790, shlomo99

#15 I got punched in the face by a kangaroo when I was 13.

Image source: Jalopy_Junkie, kjekol

#16

When I was young I swallowed a game token and it got lodged in my throat. Thankfully just before it got stuck I let out a muffled scream. My dad was downstairs watching TV. He heard the scream and came running upstairs. He found me choking and attempted the heimlich maneuver. Unfortunately it didn't work. So he picked me up and rushed me into the bathroom. Lifted me upside down and my stepmom began hitting me on the back while she was calling 911. I swear it felt like forever but the token came out and fell in the toilet. I'm sure they must have been shocked to see what I had been choking on this whole time lol. If it hadn't been for my dad's superhuman hearing and quick thinking I don't know if I would still be here now. Image source: Whereas-Jolly

#17

My epidural failed during the emergency c-section (I likely had listeria, my temp was 103+ and then the monitor for baby’s heartbeat went quiet type emergency) I had the epidural in place for awhile before, when we thought vaginal birth was still an option. No one in the OR believed me when I started telling them, then YELLING at them that I was numb anymore. It happened after they had gotten through all of the parts of me to get to baby, so I asked my husband if baby was out. He said yes and the tiny control I had left departed and I was screaming at everyone that I could f*****g feel them and their metal paddles in my body! RN by my head reassured me it was “just pressure” so my dumb self decided I was gonna gtfo. I planted my feet on the table and tried to lift myself to scoot away from the ppl who in my mind were now torturing me. Husband says it looked like a seance or a magic trick where the person covered by a sheet levitates off the table/bed. I made a huge mess, too, since I did it kinda fast. Sent a bowl full of bloody gauze flying up to hit the ground, tools clattered….I remember the poor anesthetist got yelled at while trying to give me propofol, then lights out finally. Image source: MelInRed

#18

Image source: Chrismichel1, ronnieovergoor In 2012 I lifeguarded at a beach in Delaware. I was talking with a lady who was drinking a glass of wine on the beach. While telling her she was not allowed to do that, Dave Grohl walked behind me. I was/am a massive fan and knew he would vacation at this beach, but never assumed I would run into him. In the moment of being absolutely star struck the lady goes “oh you’re a fan of Dave I see?” Barely able to talk I said “yes, he is a reason I got into drumming.” She then said “oh he’s my son, you should go say hi!” I let her drink the wine and I was able to talk to my music idol for a solid 20 minutes. One of the best days of my life.

#19

Had routine stomach surgery in 2015 - thankfully ended up being keyhole, so minimal scarring/drama and the view that I’d be home in 1-2 days max. 2 days later still in hospital, I wasn’t well. Tachycardia, temperature, swelling etc. but got up that morning, had a shower and got dressed as the nurses said it was normal after some surgery to be a little off. Mam had tried telling them (she’s a RN and midwife) that she thought I may have an infection. She was accused of being neurotic. Later that day, started to drift in and out of consciousness whilst they eventually did an emergency CT Scan. Turns out the surgeon had nicked my bowel, I had a 2cm rip in it and was dying from sepsis. Parents were told to say goodbye to me as staff physically ran me through the hospital in my bed and straight back into theatre (I’m talking medical drama style). Nurse had hold of my hand and ran next to the bed, telling me she’d better see me at the other side. They had to fully open me up. Ended up with a 8 inch scar down my stomach, a 3litre wash out, 40 staples, a drain and 2.5weeks in hospital whilst I fought against septic shock and my organs shutting down. Morphine pump, blood transfusions, antibiotics out the wazoo…….. Told me that as I already had PCOS and now I have huge internal scarring, that the predicted infertility was pretty much a 99% certainty now and if by some miracle I fell pregnant, I’d lose the baby/be unable to carry to term. Aside from some scarring on my bowel which can be painful occasionally and the scar down my stomach, I’m tip top now! And I conceived twin girls naturally 4 years later ?♥️♥️ Survived sepsis, had children and I’m now happier than ever ?? Image source: BulletproofBean

#20

Image source: YaBoyfriendKeefa, towfiqu98 Years ago, I broke my right foot. After 6 weeks in a boot, I was leaving the orthopedist office boot-free. Just me and my own two feet, raw dogging the ground. I was so excited to drive home, now that I was out of that damn boot. And then on the way to the car, I stepped off the curb, rolled my left ankle, and broke it.

#21

Image source: LifesHighMead, imchenyf I was lying on the beach in the sand when I heard a soft thud next to me. I sat up and saw a half eaten peanut butter sandwich lying next to me in the sand. Wondering where it came from, I looked up and saw, to my surprise and horror, a flock of seagulls descending upon me and the sandwich one of them had just dropped. It was a mad frenzy of them fighting me and each other for the sandwich and me fighting them to get away. The whole thing was over in five seconds.

#22

Was in a relatively mild car accident. EMS recommended xrays just to be safe. I argued a bit but ended up relenting. Xrays lead to a CT and a kidney cancer diagnosis. Doctor said I would've been dead inside a year if it hadn't been found. Image source: WellIllBeJiggered

#23

I won an art competition with my painting judged while hanging upside down. When I told them, they tried telling me I was wrong till they realised I had painted it. TBH, it was a school competition. Image source: ShabbyBash

#24

Image source: redditreader_aitafan, carrascosaoscar I was thrown off a motorcycle on the interstate when I was 22 months old. Yes, MONTHS. My parents thought I was dead because my head was ripped open (skull too) but took me to the hospital anyway. ETA: This happened in the Midwest US on an interstate.

#25

My sister almost got arrested at the White House because she sat down in the line outside to get in. She only did that because her feet hurt. Apparently it’s illegal to sit down at the White House because it’s considered a sit-in protest. She was 12. Image source: jonneygee

#26

Image source: AshumSmashums, jontyson I was almost killed by a bug? I was bitten by a flea or a tick, unsure of which. A couple weeks later I passed out in a Walmart, and woke up after emergency surgery with a hole bigger than my fist in my abdomen under my left ribs. MRSA man, I do not recommend.

#27

I was sitting outside on my friend's patio gazing up at the stars. My friend says "ya know, I've never seen a shooting star before." Almost immediately, a shootong star gleams across the sky as if she commanded it to happen. IS THIS REALITY WTF Image source: JellyProof2104

#28

Image source: markmcn87, FiledIMAGE I was dragged out of a tent in my sleep by a pack of dingos on Fraser Island in Australia. I woke up to a weird feeling at my feet and saw that they were chewing on my toes through the sleeping bag. One of them was standing on my hips/stomach, staring me in the face. Now, I'm not a fighter, but I hit him such a punch on the side of the head....like, a perfect right cross to his cute lil face. He went flying sideways which spooked all the others (about 4 or 5 of them) and, with a few kicks from my bagged up legs, they scuttled away. I went back into the tent to find my then gf still asleep and snoring away. The next morning, I went over to our tour guide fella, massive Aussie dude named Tony, and told him what happened, and he asked "Didja see which one it was?" And funnily enough I did. He had a yellow and blue tag in his ear (they're all tagged on the island) and I remembered because they're the Wicklow colours, where I'm from. And Tony just said "Aw yeah, that c**t" I ended up punching quite a bit of wildlife in my year there, but Australia definitely started it

#29

Image source: CimeroneMurphy, thomascpark I was riding my bike around my apartment building as a kid. Ran into some bullies from school. Now as a kid I had a problem with shutting up, I had no idea how, so I pissed them off. So I was riding my bike as fast as possible to get away from them (They were also on bikes) when I got something on the ground and went flying. A few things to note 1) I was a tiny little girl like 70 pounds tops. 2) I was poor, so my bike was used, a bit rusty and most importantly, missing handle bar grips 3) the combination of speed, my weight, and whatever I hit, launched me more up than forward. So I hit something, the bike fell on its side, and then I fell on the bike. Felt like it knocked the wind out of me and I knew it had to be bad because one of the bullied pedaled away as fast as possible, the other one helped me home and saying that this doesn't make us friends on the way. Left our bikes where they were. I didn't care, my mid section hurt where I landed. Got home and my mom turned to greet me and practically screamed that I was bleeding. I looked down and realized that I was bleeding a lot from my stomach and fainted. I woke up at the hospital later to find out that I had landed on to a bike handle which has impaled me through my mid section about halfway through me Missed my organs just barely and left me with a neat scar and a story no one believes until they see the scar.

#30

3.5 years ago, I had 3 guys try to rob me. I was very fit then and had trained in jiu jitsu and muay thai. In the end, I put two of them in the hospital and all three were arrested. I walked away with really bad bruises and cuts, a concussion, and possible broken ribs. During the fight I got hit with a crow bar. Well, when I went to have my ribs scanned, they ended up finding cancer. Stage 4 of an extremely rare cancer that only about 80 people have. I never had any symptoms and my blood work was excellent. Doctors said I had about 1.5 years to live but I'm still going! Image source: BIGFUTSmustache

#31

Image source: kellyonassis, ktsimage Slept with a boyfriend for over a year (unprotected) and found out he had hiv. Been tested for twenty years straight and I’m still negative. Edit: woke up to a huge reaction, never expected this. I’m going to answer some things here. Yes he knew and didn’t tell me. His plan was to act like I gave it to him. I thought there was no way I didn’t have it so for several years I was in the mindset that I had contracted it. When I was 18 I started getting tested twice a year and have been negative every test. I don’t think I am Finnish or Nordic I should check that out someday. There are so many horrible things that are in this thread, I’m surprised this was even seen. Thank you for concern everyone.

#32

I wrecked my bike in the summer after 7th grade and had to be mercy flighted, broken bones, quite severe concussion…. I forgot 90% of seventh grade and struggled in 8th, but a weird side effect was that I could music. Before I couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket, couldn’t hear when notes were the same or different, completely tone-deaf, and after the accident I could. I sang in my college choir for four years. Image source: Famous-Example-8332

#33

My dad forcing me to eat my pet squirrel. I grew up lonely in a rural area. I made friends with a squirrel and the little guy got tame around me. Like I could sit in the bench swing and he would climb down and I would pass him a granola bar. He actually begged with his hands asking for the food. Well one day my dad was cooking fish and drinking beer with his friends. Well the see me in the bench drawing and the squirrel comes down. They shout what am I doing. I said just chilling with my little bud (I was 10m). They make a joke about my dad raising a Disney princess. He gets angry and goes inside. He comes back outside and next thing I know is the bench I was in is being knocked over the squirrel bails and then boom. Little bud is shot with bird shot. His friends were laughing til this. He then tells me to wait by the fryer will he proceeds to clean the squirrel and then deep fries it in front of me and makes me watch. I see the eyes of what was my friend exploding in the oil. He cooks it til it was done. He then Infront of his friends demands that I eat it. I say know but he grabbed me by the collar and pops me three times. He then tells me the squirrel got off easy. He could do a lot worse to me. I eat my friend that literally had just been feeding and laughing with thirty mins ago. His friends alot lost their composure. Many left and a few threw up at this sight. It was not a good day. So yeah again being made to eat a pet Image source: ogreofzen

#34

I (15 at the time) was traveling in a foreign country with my sister (26). We stayed at a local hotel. My period came and I got a little bit on the sheets the first night. Housekeeping came and cleaned as usual, nothing mentioned. A few days passed and when we were checking out, they asked to see our passports again. I guess we thought they just needed to double check their guest registry to update it. Once the passports were in his hand the front desk person (male) got really angry with us and began yelling at us for "making mess" in the hotel. At first we had no idea what he was talking about because we are very tidy travelers. He just kept yelling that we "made trouble" for him. He then proceeded to ask housekeeping to bring out the evidence and guess what, they proceeded TO BRING OUT THE UNWASHED SHEETS (wtf?). No idea where they had stored it. A nice young Australian couple witnessed the whole thing. The lady muttered "it's just a few spots, can't you just wash it?" He yelled at them to stay out of it and they fell silent. He even asked who made the mess (my sister said she did). 15 year old me felt like I had done something criminally wrong. My sister "paid him for the sheets" and got our passports back so we could leave. Image source: Faysian

#35

I was in a weird love triangle. This was back in like 2007. I was into a girl, but her near-inseparable best friend was into me. I wanted to go out with the girl, but she felt weird going out with me while her best friend kept talking about me, and said I should go out with the best friend first and let her get me out of her system...so I did that. It went ok but no chemistry. Went out with the first girl and there was major chemistry, but still withholding. It became more and more where it was always the two of them coming on outings with me (and sometimes ditching me) until the day they told me they both decided to date each other. Image source: magicchefdmb

#36

My mom found out my dad filed for divorce five minutes before my birthday dinner started when I was turning eighteen. Mans waited last second because he didn’t want to pay child support ? My mom was cooking my birthday dinner and I was down the road at a friends house celebrating before I went home. Mom went to get the mail and found a letter from an attorney saying he found out my dad filed and wanted to be her lawyer. Mom peeled down the block in the minivan and pulled over to the side of the road where my friends and I were outside and announced it to me. Dad came home five minutes later to just me and no mom. He was like hey time to celebrate! With a bunch of presents and stuff. It was so awkward Image source: Comfortable_Pen_7635

#37

I was visiting London with my grandpa and we were riding in a small public bus. And on this bus there happened to be a dwarf. A young schoolgirl (probably because her mother told her to) approached her and offered up her seat to the woman but she rudely yelled " What, because I'm a dwarf!? I've been a dwarf my whole and I've managed just fine without any help!" And the poor girl sat down all red in the face. But awhile later at another stop a woman stood up and before exiting, she tapped the dwarf on the shoulder and said " I'll be getting off now. My seats empty if you'd like to take it." But just as she started to carry on the woman cut her off and yelled "No! Not because you're a dwarf! Because you're a human being deserving of respect! And I must say you were very rude to that poor girl when she was just trying to be nice! And I hope that when you're getting ready for bed tonight, Snow White kicks in your door and kicks your f*****g a*s!" Then she got off leaving the dwarf standing there wide eyed and slack jawed while the rest of us were sat there just looking at one another. Image source: Strange_Stage1311

#38

Image source: ResponseDisastrous57, capturelight My childhood best friend's mom passed away by drowning. My best friend then died a couple of months later by being hit by an 18 wheeler on the side of the road, her father then died a few months later from throat cancer. Lost my entire second family in under a year due to unrelated incidents. It's been 7 years and I'm still not over it.

#39

Image source: Steeviesteve, lumapimentel I was born in the early 80s, and during that time they took newborns away to the nursery to be cared for away from the parents. When it was time for my mother to leave the hospital, they returned her baby to her and before my parents left, they needed to change the baby’s diaper. Well, when they removed the diaper they saw that the baby that they had was a girl when my mother had given birth to a boy. The hospital tracked down the parents who had me and got the babies back to their rightful parents. Some crazy s**t.

#40

Image source: stowRA, laviperchik my 16 year old brother put a cocked and loaded gun to my head when i was 11. the cops came and found an airsoft gun with an orange tip and claimed that was the weapon, despite me denying it all night. i found the real gun a couple months later in a coat closet wrapped up in a scarf. those cops sucked at their job.

#41

Image source: Mousewaterdrinker, sharonmccutcheon I was working and felt like I broke a rib. It went away but I off handedly mentioned it to my doctor. She was super concerned and ordered a bone scan. It was stage 4 cancer.

#42

My grandfather has been married to 3 women in my lifetime : 1. my dad's mom, to whom he was married when I was born and divorced when I was a year old so he could get with #2 2. my step-grandmother, who he married immediately after the divorce from #1 and who I've considered one of my grandmothers my whole life - he divorced her when she was diagnosed with schizophrenia around the time I was in my early 20s 3. his current wife, who he married when I was in my early 30s, and who I have never met and have zero plans to Here's where the unbelievable but true part comes in: Each of these women have a photograph of themselves holding me as an infant in the hospital when I was born. #1 makes sense. #2 is a bit tacky - he wasn't divorced yet so I'm not sure what the vibe was. #3 though - none of us know why or when she was there, we didn't even learn about this woman's existence until they married 30+ years after the picture in question was taken. I was a very distinct looking baby thanks to being severely post term (born more than 2 weeks past my due date), so the photos are easy to verify. I've been no-contact with him for almost 20 years for many reasons, including this one. He's a f*****g piece of work. Tldr: grandpa's a ho, brought his wife and all his sidepieces to the hospital when I was born and there's photo evidence. Image source: halfpasteight

#43

I was chased down the street by an angry chicken. Image source: Weekly_Shape_6212

#44

I got bitten by a penguin… On my neck. No, I wasn’t doing anything stupid at the time. The penguin was standing on a table for photo ops (as an animal ambassador for a zoo) and it went for my wine glass as I stood next to it. Moved my wine glass out of the way, and got nipped on my neck for my troubles. Image source: archaeologistbarbie

#45 I was cuffed and thrown in the back of a cop car after being accused of stealing cars, while walking through a bowling alley parking lot. I was 12.

Image source: cracksintheegg, NomadSoul1