“Peacocks Are Really Stupid”: 25 Of The Best Insider Knowledge Tips Exposed By Zoo Workers

When we were kids, working with animals all day long sounded like a dream job. While most of us moved on to other career paths, a few have chosen to take on the task of caring for wild animals. If you’ve ever wondered what really goes on behind zoo walls, you’re not alone. Someone similarly curious recently asked online, “Zookeepers of Reddit, what’s the low-down, dirty, inside scoop on zoos?” Everything from snarky lions to ruthless zebras came up in the responses, and we’ve selected a few of the most surprising insights on zoo logistics to share in the gallery below.   

#1

Image source: MapleTopLibrary, Yomex Owo/unsplash Used to work at a zoo, cold weather makes the animals more active so go on a chilly day or first thing in the morning to see the best show from the animals. Also, those free roaming peacocks are really stupid and sometimes go in the lions exhibit and get torn up. Edit: because of lots of questions about where, this was the Tautphaus Park Zoo in Idaho.

#2

Image source: WF6i, Tom Spross/unsplash Lions know fully well that they can't get through the glass. They do that just to get attention.

#3

Image source: anon, Brittany Colette/unsplash I was in training to become a zookeeper for half a year before i got thrown out due to not working fast enough because of multiple surgeries i had before starting the job. Had to have the surgerys due to a disabilty. After the surgeries i was in immense pain which is why i wasn´t fast enough. But that´s enough of me. TenPointList of things to avoid at a zoo or just nice to know: 1. Don´t touch the penguins.Their beaks are made to catch tiny slippery fish, at high speeds, underwater, and to never let go of the fish. If they don´t pick your finger straight of they´ll mutilate it. 2. If you´re sick please don´t go the monkeys. We had a trainee who had a mild case of the flu when she worked with the monkeys. 6 were gone 5 days later. This virus doesn´t only affect humans. 3. Don´t bond to animals like goats, guinea pigs, rabbits, sheep and such in case there are tigers lions and such at the same zoo. Otherwise you´ll one day look for your friend and you´ll not find them. Zoos feed some of their animals to some of the other animals. 4. Goats are the most dangerous creatures in any zoo. Period. When i went in the goat enclosure to feed the horned bastards they regularly ran me over and nearly trampled me. I am 6´4 and over 200 pounds. There have been horses that didn´t manage to bring me down but these ones did. 5 .Speaking about horses and the like: I once had a pony escape. Again remember my size and weight: I tried to push it back into the enclosure and the thing just casually walked forward, pushing me with it, as if i wasn´t there. Ponys are strong. 6 .Hutiacongas will squeeze trough the tightest gap when you try to clean their cage, and never return. If someone asks if you lost some, the answer is no sir. 7 .Lamas are not as bad as people make them out to be. Just be as pissy as they are and they´ll love you. And if they don`t: Watch out, they kick sideways. 8. If after you´re done with your shift and are in regular clothes you´re looking for something to do that evening, just go to the tiger enclosure and find a hot girl admiring the cats. Tell her the names of them and what their personalitys are like. Then reveral that you are a zookeeper. I just got you a date you owe me one. (Seriously, this worked 7 times in the 6 months i was there) 9. Seals are smarter than you´d think. We had a trick where we would throw a ball and the seal, chris, would have to bring it back to get a fish. One night he found out where we store these, and kicked em all in the pool. Took us a whole bucket of fish to get them back. 10.When you go around feeding the lemurs in their free roaming enclosure and they jump on you and use you as a bus and put their bushy tails around your neck- That´s the type of stuff why zookeepers do it. The side kicking lama, the finger ripping penguin, the extremely hard labor the constant smell.. It´s all worth it in moments like these. Support your local zoos, guys. Every single one of them needs every voluntary helper they can get.

#4

Image source: Bartholomew_Lane, Sarthaak Maji/unsplash Ok, as is tradition, not a full zookeeper buuut... When I was a teenager in the 90s, I did volunteer work at the Oakland zoo. There weren't many of us, so we got to choose where we helped out, so I chose to work with Bhakti, the 32ish year old Bengal Tiger. Nearly oldest living in captivity when he finally passed. I chose him because he was beautiful, and he always seemed lonely. He had pacing syndrome hardcore, so his entire paddock was green and lush except for the paths along the outer fence line and one or two diagonals he used to get into and out of his night cage. The keepers did their best with him, but had clearly written him off. He was grumpy, unsocial, hid from the public, swiped and hissed at keepers, and ignored all of the enrichment toys and food put out to keep him mobile. They had a few young Siberians in quarantine already waiting to be put on display, they just had to wait for him to pass and the stubborn old cat lived to spite them. He always started the morning by pacing his fence line, so I started pacing with him. No eye contact, no sounds, just walking back and forth for an hour or two. After a couple weeks, he started chuffing at me when I arrived, so I learned how to mimic it to say hi back. Another month, and he would actually break his pacing circuit to walk with me, jogging his ancient arthritic body from wherever he was across the green sections to match me. Poor guy just needed a friend. I still get a bit misty eyed thinking about him. Just a lonely old cat who had to spend the last years of his life basically alone. Don't get me wrong though, the keepers really did do their best, but they couldn't spend all day with him like I could. They had many duties and creatures to care for and he had a really steep barrier to entry as a friend. As grumpy as he was, I still think he was good people.

#5

Image source: anon, Pavel Togobitskiy/unsplash I spoke to a zoo keeper at the national zoon in DC. We where watching another keeper inside the cheetah enclosure and I asked him about the danger involved. He said a cheetah is harmless to an adult human because it only hunts smaller creatures. I asked which creature was the worst to go in with, expecting hippo, elephant or croc as an answer. Without hesitating he said "zebras" then leaned close and whispered "They are the biggest jerks. They will bite and kick for no reason." I still think it's hilarious that off all the teeth and claws out there, it's stripped donkey horses that are the worst.

#6

Image source: thebourgeoisiee, Dheepak Mahesh/unsplash I used to volunteer weekly at a large zoo and at one point management started doing monthly dangerous animal escape drills. Someone would run around in a lion onesie and we’d have to react as if one of the large animals had escaped. It was hilarious but one of the funniest things I was taught was that if an incident did occur you have to tell the nearby guests to get inside only once. If after that they refuse to follow you indoors (the protocol was to hole up in the large activity centre buildings) , you’re to leave them there, go inside yourself and lock the doors. It makes sense because people can be very stupid and you don’t want to risk everyone’s lives because of one Karen, but it amused me no end that the protocol was to just let them get mauled.

#7

Image source: battlegato, Marshall Ma/unsplash Rhinos may look super intimidating, and they can hurt you, but really they just act like big dogs. They love being scratched and will eat all the fruit out of your hand!

#8

Image source: IHeardYouHaveCats, Annie Spratt/unsplash What do you want to really know? Zookeepers are overworked, underpaid, and are constantly in a battle to prove their worth to seemingly everyone. We spend day and night (and sometimes overnight) caring for our animals often regardless of our personal lives because those animals deserve the best life possible and at the end of the day the most a****d thing at the zoo is the Zookeepers themselves. I had a guest tell me one day that they thought the gorilla would be happier dead in the wild than in his habitat while also knowing absolutely nothing about what is impacting gorillas in the wild. I’ve had parents point at me cleaning a habitat and tell their children “stay in school or you’ll end up like her”. In fact I’d say a decent percentage of guests in my 10+ years were extremely surprised to hear most Zookeepers have degrees/higher education. Zoos need our support at the end of the day as they provide education and experience that can build empathy. We have to teach people to care and it’s hard to when sometimes things aren’t affecting the immediate world around us but is instead affecting someone else’s across the globe. Why is it important to recycle your old cell phones? It will reduce the need to mine for coltan, a mineral used in cell phones that can be recaptured in the recycling process. Less coltan mining = less loss of habitat for gorillas among other animals. Do you check the labels of items you buy for sustainable Palm oil? If not, you could be helping add to the destruction of orangutan habitat. Our actions matter, our choices matter, and we have to teach that. Edit: Thanks for my first gold. I actually left my job of 12 years over a year ago because it was physically and mentally draining me too much. I miss it terribly but know it’s what is best for me.

#9

Image source: anon, David Clode/unsplash Was a zookeeper for a while and now work exclusively with non human primates. It’s not a “dirty” secret like OP was asking for, but wanted to chime in and say please don’t berate keepers because you don’t agree with zoos. We almost all went to college for animals, we love them far more than you most likely, and it’s really disheartening to be trying your best to make sure your animals are comfortable and happy only to have some housewife who donated to PETA like 2 years ago tell you that you’re a piece of trash. We need responsible zoos for wildlife donations since the vast majority of “animal rights activists” don’t do anything to actually help animals. If you have a problem with the way an animal is being treated, report it to the APHIS immediately, don’t berate someone who has dedicated their lives to helping animals because it makes you feel special.

#10

Image source: DrteethDDS, Andrea Konigsmann/unsplash I worked with large tortoises. We had these 5-gallon buckets for cleaning out of enclosures and other buckets for feeding them fresh grass we cut. The first day on the job I took both buckets into the pen and started by dumping out the grass. Then I went around to clean. I heard this awful loud grunting and something breaking. One of the 300 lb males tried to bang the bucket in front of visitors and flattened it. He would even follow me around just in case I might leave more innocent buckets unattended.

#11

Image source: FarwellRob, Getty Images/unsplash My wife was a zookeeper and I used to volunteer there a lot. 1) The animal that was was least scary was a cheetah. They were pretty cool ignoring everything as long as they had food. The most scary to me were the giraffes. Back then you went into the enclosure with them and they'd sometimes swing their heads around and try to hit you just to be pricks. You had to be careful. 2) The job would actually be fantastic if they didn't let people into the zoo.

#12

Image source: dogsfrogsmonologues, David Lázaro/unsplash I had to draft the zoo's contingency plan for all sorts of emergencies. Flood, tornado, extreme heat, war or attacks, you name it. The plan included a prioritized list of which animals in the collection we would have to sacrifice to feed to the other animals in extreme situations. I literally created a zoo food chain. Humans were left off the list entirely.

#13

Image source: BiteyParrots, David Phillips/unsplash When you're cleaning underneath the perches, parrots will wait for you to look up before relieving themselves. They have a good aim. Don't look up.

#14

Image source: Sedintwinz, Todd Morris/unsplash Some people like to bring fruit and stuff to throw into the animals cages, even though they're not suppose to. If you're around and someone throws a pineapple into the gorilla or chimpanzee dens, gtfo. They will throw that thing full blast at someone. I saw a man get hit full force right in the side of the head and he was lights out. Pineapple exploded on impact. Paramedics came and everything.

#15

Image source: _Fun_Employed_, Lexy Taylor/unsplash I volunteer at an aqurium and the people always ask about whether the sharks that are in with the fish ever eat the fish officially we say, “we keep them well fed enough that they don’t”, but on more then one morning on my initial walk around I have found remains of fish that definitely weren’t feed fish. On a particularly memorable occasion I found the head of a large porgy just sitting on the bottom. A diver went in and got it before guests arrived.

#16

I did co-op at one for two weeks. The Sumatran tigers had a nice enclosure but the overnight enclosure was very small and depressing. I would walk around the outdoor enclosure hiding meatballs while they were in there, and I was always scared someone would forget I'm out there. There's nothing like that smell of tiger urine, as soon as I first smelled it it's like an instinct kicked in and all the hairs on my body raised as if I just knew there was something close that could eat me. Also, so many people drop money beneath the walkways, I found a few $5.00 bills. Image source: anon

#17

Image source: ShadyElmm, Andreas Schantl/unsplash The most dangerous/feared animal in case of an escape is not, as you may think, lions, tigers or other large carnivores. It's the chimps. Those things will rip your arm off and beat you with the bloody end as soon as look at you.

#18

Image source: epshuche, Soheil Jalili/unsplash Our lions will urinate on guests if they get too close, which is always funny to see. Not so funny to smell.

#19

Image source: NutkaseCreates, Ethan Chan/unsplash Not quite a zookeeper but in training to be one! The zebras and Przewalski's horses are ruthless and will tear apart any unfortunate wild kangaroo that dares break into an enclosure. They love the thrill of the chase.

#20

Image source: adamandatium, A. C./unsplash The amount of injuries you can just casually pick up from animals is crazy. I've been kicked in the chest by a kangaroo, attacked by a wombat and a bat, bitten by a monitor lizard and a carpet python, had a rhino charge at me, and been scratched by a macaque. My old boss has this bad scar from a snow leopard attack, and this guy I work with now has his entire left forearm mangled from an orangutan attack. It also shocks you how....dumb people can be. There can be a huge sign that says "Hello! I'm an echidna, NOT a porcupine!" and people will still ask if that's a baby porcupine. You get used to the same jokes every day. Like when you're cleaning up the outside enclosures (in view of the guests), someone will eventually say "Oh what a strange animal! I wonder what kind it is!" in regards to seeing a human. I have no qualms about picking up animal feces bare-handed. I know what my animals have been eating, I know what's in their digestive systems, and to me that makes it more bearable. I can have long discussions about it consistency with my co workers, and in fact, that's what a lot of general health talks are about. "Homer's stool was a little looser than normal this morning - I wonder if something happened overnight to stress him out" You get used to being stinky. I currently work 8+ hours with primates daily and I feel awful for the people who share a space with me when I go to the gym directly after work. ORANGUTAN EDIT: Orangutans are NOT the gentle giants you think they are. All apes, and I mean all apes, have the capacity to maim/disfigure/end you if you annoy them enough. Don't look primates directly in the eye for an extended period of time, don't smile at primates, and for the love of god don't invade their personal space. MORE INJURIES EDIT: Had a piercing ripped out by a macaw, fingers and hands torn up from handling/training conures and other large parrots, quite a few nasty bites from small mammals (hamsters, gerbils, ferrets, etc.). A few injuries from horses but nothing out of the ordinary.

#21

Image source: bindobub, MARIOLA GROBELSKA/unsplash If you work with the animals there's a good chance you'll not be able to have any kind of social life, between the long hours/weekends and the stench. I've been kicked out of stores after work because I apparently stunk way worse than I thought I did - even after scrubbing off! And I'm around animals every day, but I still can't stand when otter / sealion keepers are around me in "all-hands" meetings. The rotten fish + ferrety otter smell combo is a gagger. Meanwhile, I work with apes, and they say that I smell like I haven't showered in a decade (again...even after I shower).

#22

Image source: fromtheoven, Andrej Lišakov/unsplash Late to the party, but I wanted to mention all the older animals. Sometimes people don't realize there are older critters who have health issues. A lot of older fish we had were kept in the back tanks away from view because people assumed normal old fish issues were a result of poor husbandry and would get upset if they were on display. Imagine having your 17 year old incontinent dog in a zoo, people would think it looks emaciated and pathetic. Along the same lines, zoos have improved significantly in terms of animal husbandry over the years, but a lot of older animals have been in zoos since before these changes occured. I remember working with a group of chimps and one of the old chimps would masturbate while staring at me as I cleaned the outside of the enclosure. I had to remember this guy joined the zoo at a time when they would dress chimps up in kids clothes and make them have tea parties and s**t. He had some mental issues that weren't his fault. Thankfully that troop has gotten better housing and care and has now started acting more normally, even reproducing with their own troop members and acting like real apes should.

#23

Image source: LigamentumArteriosum, shortifiable/reddit I'm a small animal vet now but worked in a zoo before vet school. Zoos are one of the biggest purchasers of Calvin Klein's Obsession cologne. The cologne has animal musk in it and it drives the big cats wild. We used to spray it on everything.

#24

Image source: WickedPuffin, Oleksiy Yanchyk/unsplash If you have worked with them then you probably already know, but one swift kick from an ostrich can literally disembowel you. Every time I see a video of someone getting up close to one, I can’t help but cringe. One of our head keepers had actually lost part of their ear to one.

#25

Image source: Jais44, Andrej Lišakov/unsplash Zookeepers are expected to have degrees and like 5 years of practical experience before they’re employed and then they’re paid basically minimum wage.