25 People Share Their Hilarious Cold-Blooded Revenge Stories

In the vast expanse of Reddit, where anonymity encourages raw honesty, a user recently posed a thought-provoking question: “What kind of calculating, cold act did you commit?” The responses ranged from jaw-dropping acts of cunning to meticulously planned maneuvers, revealing the complex and sometimes ruthless nature of human behavior.

#1

Image source: Silky_Tissue, Luke Jones/Flickr (not the actual photo)

I ran a painting company in college and did a lot of work in my own neighborhood. After completing most of the job, the neighbor called me and refused to pay at all unless the price was dropped. I explained that the only person he would be hurting would be me as everyone else is still entitled to the money they worked for… The neighbor still demanded a price cut which resulted in me paying to do the job.

Shame he didn’t get the color approved by the neighborhood HOA. One anonymous complaint later and the neighbor had to pay to repaint it.

#2

Image source: justafang, Stock Catalog/Flickr (not the actual photo)

Wife and I are separated she was still signing in on my netflix account. I waited until she was up to a series finale of a show then signed out all devices and changed the password.

#3

Image source: 1_art_please, Franklin Park Library/Flickr (not the actual photo)

I had a narcissistic mom who made my life total hell. And my dad let it slip to me that it meant a lot to her for us to go shopping together for my prom dress. I had a part time job and spent months saving thr money to buy everything myself from a thift store. This was circa 1997 when that wasn’t typically done. Dressed up and went alone, and it was her first taste of being eliminated from my life due to her endless painful emotional manipulations throughout my childhood.

#4

Image source: FinzClortho, wirestock/Envato (not the actual photo)

I worked for a guy as a security guard for a DotCom company in 2000. He wouldn’t pay overtime, demanded 60+ hour work weeks, and would call you in on your days off. I refused one time and he terminated me. I returned all my uniforms and he charged me $180 cleaning fees.

Out of a job, I talked to the building Facility manager about some of the shady s**t I saw him doing. He told me if I had my own security license and insurance he would terminate their contract and hire me. So that’s what I did.

A few days later, I’m coming in the front door and security stops me. He tells me that I’ve been terminated and no longer allowed on the property. The building Facility Manager comes out and tells him I’m there on official business with them.

The following Monday, new contract in hand, I enter the front door of the property and relieved my former boss of his duties and escorted him off the property. I could see steam coming out of his ears. He was pissed.

#5

Image source: Realitybytes_, Lucas Andrade/Pexels (not the actual photo)

When i was leaving America to come home to Australia after finishing a 6 month overseas secondment, the other seconded who had been a back stabbing piece of s**t the entire time, was scheduled to fly back with me.

The night before our VERY early flight home, I took him out to drinks and got him wasted, checked into his flight, turned his phone alarm from AM to PM, put his phone on DND mode, and dropped him back at the hotel.

At 4am when in my cab to the airport, I casually called him about 60 times knowing he’d never see the calls, left him half a dozen voice emails, and took the most relaxing flight home.

#6

Image source: HoneyNutJesse0s, Aidan Roof/Pexels (not the actual photo)

School bully showed up my work once to turn in an application. It was a cool, higher paying job for teenagers. He asked me why I was there and I told him I worked there. His attitude changed and he begged me to put in a good word for him. I said “oh sure thing!” I walked in, went to my managers office and told him “so and so just applied. Please don’t hire him. He bullied myself and others relentlessly.” My manager crumpled up his app and threw it away.

#7

Image source: Realistic-Most-5751, Sam Greenhalgh/Flickr (not the actual photo)

I completely moved out when my now ex was on a fishing trip. Yes, I took my bed and my flatscreen that was in our bedroom. He came home late at night after driving 10 hours, to no bed. And most importantly, no more punching bag (me).

#8

Image source: Several-Draft2547, RedCraig/Flickr (not the actual photo)

Once, when I worked in a very competitive office, I noticed that a co-worker always took credit for my ideas. So I started sending him fake and meaningless proposals while he saved the good ones to present directly to our boss. Before long, his reputation plummeted and I was promoted. It was a calculating act, but I felt it was the only way to ensure my work was recognized ☺.

#9

Image source: playinthedirt76, Katie Salerno/Pexels (not the actual photo)

Ex Fiancee cheated on me with her boss. I was devastated. I really thought she was the one. I also knew that the company had a zero tolerance policy against that type thing between anyone and their direct manager. Spent a couple months “working things out” with her, until I had all the proof I needed. Emailed his boss, all other managers, HR, and corporate every condemning screenshot I had. They both ended up fired and I still have no regrets. He knew we were engaged, and finally offered her a promotion to get her to sleep with him, and I had a copy of that screenshot too.

#10

Image source: Goodgollygosh47, Joe Loong/Flickr (not the actual photo)

I had an order at a roofing company worth around £4500. They accidentally ordered me the wrong soffit bends with two pieces arriving broken. I asked could I do a simple swap for the correct parts in store. The sales guy looked at the cracked pvc pieces and said:

“What do you expect me to do with these? No chance I can take these back”

I asked the guy to look up my account and he confirmed my name, address, and the total amount I had on order.

“Yup that’s me, cancel the order please” – I said.

The sales guy started being frantic and a blubbering mess as I waved the piece of broken pvc like a wand and said goodbye.

TL:DR – douchebag refused to swap a £2.50 piece of broken plastic (at their fault might I add) and lost £4500 worth of business.

#11

Image source: Kayaklabguy, Edmond Dantès/Pexels (not the actual photo)

Previous manager was a totally horrible person. I’ll spare the details. She ran our team into the ground, then laid a bunch of us off, myself included, a year ago. Then she found another job 2 months later and left. I recently found out she started her own consulting company and announced it on a popular job social media site. What she failed to do was to secure the domain names and social media handles for the new business venture. I took every variation I could think of.
Get f****d!

#12

Image source: generic230, Faruk Tokluoğlu/Pexels (not the actual photo)

I was in stand up in the 80s and at a tryout at a famous SF comedy club I was heckled and harassed by a comic. Luckily Bobcat Goldthwaite came into the green room after and comforted me. But, 15 years later I’m a producer on a TV series and we’re casting for a recurring character. It was a big deal, a good paycheck and regular appearances on the show. I saw the comic’s name on the casting list for the next day. I told my bosses what he’d done to me and he was crossed off the list. This is why you shouldn’t f**k with people no matter where you are on the ladder. Be kind to those below you and help them, and be respectful of those above you. Because like me, you have no idea how much you or anyone else is capable of achieving. .

#13

Image source: Mundane-Strawberry67, MART PRODUCTION/Pexels (not the actual photo)

When my daughter was around 6 months old, nearing the end of the covid lockdowns, the worst neighbors moved above me. They would be partying until 3, 4, 5 in the morning. Blasting electronic music, chain smoking, obnoxiously drunk, etc.

Now, I had to get up at 6 am for work and obviously the ruckus kept myself and my baby up all night. Every night. I asked them a few times to please keep it down and explained the situation. It never worked. And then…one fateful day….I snapped.

I waited until about 1 or 2 hours after they’d gone to bed. Just in time for them to be hitting that nice, deep, drunken slumber. And then…I struck. As loud as I possibly good, I began blasting Vanessa Carlton’s “A Thousand Miles.”

But that wasnt all. Ooooohhhh no. The rage consumed me…and also probably hormones from all the breastfeeding. I needed to take it one step further.

So I grabbed a broom handle and began smacking the ceiling (this house was shoddy yall) all over. The bedroom. The bathroom. The kitchen. You get it.

At last I heard them waking. “Stop it!” They cried. “You dont like it when I do it, huh!?” I rebutted.

Everything fell silent. My hunger for revenge was satiated. We never spoke of the incident again. Anyways a month or two later some guy tried to break in and they came to help me so I’m glad they weren’t the grudge holding type.

#14

Image source: sexi_squidward, Alan Levine/Flickr (not the actual photo)

When I was 17, I worked at Pizza Hut and was allowed to bring home meals. Every so often my sister would call and ask for a personal pan. I would find new ways to hide jalapenos in it whenever she was being a b***h. She started getting good and would search for it. Some days I did nothing to it and she’d still take it apart to make sure there wasn’t a jalepeno in it. At one point I hid it INSIDE the crust. Unless she tore it apart she’d never find it.

We were 2 years apart in age and she was a little a*****e in HS so it was my best version of revenge.

#15

Image source: Fit-Credit-2221, HS You/Flickr (not the actual photo)

When I was a child I was beaten quite often. To get back at my dad, I’d boop his toothbrush on my b******e. So I’d get beaten, he’d brush his teeth with a hint of b******e.

#16

Image source: MadMelvin, Jonathan Assink/Flickr (not the actual photo)

My boss had a reputation for smashing keyboards and mice when he would get mad. So I bought a cheap wireless mouse and plugged the dongle into the back of his PC where no one would ever see it. I could look across the hall and kind of see when he was using the mouse, and I would just nudge the cursor enough that it would feel like there was something glitching. I got him to break another mouse that week.

#17

Image source: DavEnzoF1, cottonbro studio/Pexels (not the actual photo)

Around 2013, my 6 year relationship ended abruptly after we sold the house and she locked up the profits we made. She was on my Sprint account back when you had the two year contracts on your phone and she had about 6 months left on her contract.
I called Sprint to cancel the contact and it was like $400 to end it 6 months earlier and after doing the math, it was cheaper to just pay the extra $50 for the next 6 months.
Her birthday is in October and at the end of September she said she was going to get her own line. I call Sprint and explain what’s going on and the Sprint dude suggests I suspend her line, basically her phone number that she had for over 6 years contractually belonged to me.
On the early morning of her birthday, around 5 AM, I suspended her phone line. Her phone would be a paperweight and wouldn’t even access WiFi for some reason. She woke up on her birthday with ZERO missed calls and ZERO texts wishing her a Happy Birthday. After a few hours I got a call from Sprint asking if I would release her phone number so she could attach it to her own new line.
NOPE!
She spent her birthday having to reach out to everyone telling them what happened. Happy birthday, dunce!

#18

Image source: TheBigC87, Chun-Hung Eric Cheng/Flickr (not the actual photo)

I had trashy loud redneck neighbors at a duplex who liked to let their dog s**t right next to my doorstep and not pick it up, one day my 4 year old son stepped in it and smeared it in the house. They were the upstairs duplex and I had the downstairs one with the backyard. Something in me snapped and I was just done with them.

I proceeded to gather my dogs pooper scooper, picked up ALL of the poop in my front (from their dog) and some from the back yard from my dog and promptly dropped it all on their front porch, with a note that said

“I see you are having some difficulty picking up after your dog and I thought I would help you out. You’re welcome”

I then called the landlord and let him know that not only are they letting the dog s**t by my front door and not picking it up, the dog barked constantly, chewed up the blinds, and chewed up the carpet.

My landlord’s reponse was…they have a dog?

Landlord dropped in and made them pay a pet deposit, and charged them a fee for replacing the carpet and the blinds. Cost was around $2,000.

I am someone who minds my own business and doesn’t involve myself with others, and if they had simply walked another 30 or 40 feet to let their dog s**t elsewhere, I wouldn’t have said anything. But trashy rednecks have no shame.

#19

Image source: manderifffic, hildgrim/Flickr (not the actual photo)

This girl who bullied me mercilessly in sixth grade came into the Chinese restaurant where I worked a few years later and I crushed her fortune cookie when I put it in the bag.

#20

Image source: ummswimmin, Rob Oo/Flickr (not the actual photo)

I was brought in as a ringer for a masters swimming team between college seasons. I didn’t have much money, but they said it was cool as long as I worked to help people with their strokes and win at my events.

It worked, we took second in the state at the end of summer meet and the open water competition. The team dramatically improved.

After the season ended, I was planning to keep training with them for the last two weeks before school. The treasurer asked me for dues over the last few months… and the coach pressured me too. They both conveniently forgot our original deal after the team did so well.

So, I reached out to the state swimming leadership to tell them that I was getting benefits to swim. They DQ’d the team from the results. I also referred the IRS to audit the coach since he was being paid under the table for coaching and lessons. He got audited… maybe he shouldn’t have bragged about that.

#21

Image source: spasamsd, Porapak Apichodilok/Pexels (not the actual photo)

It wasn’t planned, but when the opportunity arose, I took it.

In middle school, I was texting my crush and shared something personal. They then turned around and used it against me in a cruel way. Fast forward to my early 20s. We ran into each other and he asked me out on a date. I shot him down for what he did right in front of his friends.

While it wasn’t too harsh, it felt great lol.

#22

Image source: Large-Signal-157, RDNE Stock project/Pexels (not the actual photo)

I let my SIL plan an event after she had spent the last event complaining about everything. Never seen someone eat crow so hard.

#23

Image source: Low-Stick6746, Almas Baig/Flickr (not the actual photo)

A customer would come into my store and often deposited a candy bar wrapper into one of the shopping carts waiting in the entry like it was a garbage can. On many occasions he had told me how he was diabetic and only this specific errand for his wife so he could sneak his favorite candy bars. After he disappeared out of sight, I retrieved his garbage and waited. When I saw him approaching my register, I quickly dropped the wrapper in the shopping bag that I put the cans of dog food he was purchasing into. I hope he never looked in the bag and just went home and left it for his wife to put away so she would discover his sneaky snack. I do know it was several weeks before I saw him again.

#24

Growing up I was heavily abused by my father, to the extent he tried to choke me to death when I was 15. In that moment I knew that if I fought back he would claim to the cops that I attacked him. He is a lying savant and still manipulated the situation so the cops thought I was being a petulant teen (they demanded I apologize to my father and ‘never give them reason to come back’). He also painted me as the aggressor to my family so they all thought I was lying.

My father has a habit of skirting the law. Since I was in middle school I worked at his dental office. I’ve been keeping track of all the instances of tax fraud, labor law violations, fraudulent prescriptions, sending controled medication through the mail in a baggie (typical dad stuff), and more. I’m planning on reporting him.

The bastard tried to kill me and never saw justice. But he will.

Image source: EddiesCouch

#25

Image source: sp0rkah0lic, Vova Kras/Pexels (not the actual photo)

When I was in the 5th grade, there was a kid who used to absolutely torment me. Not doing a full backstory but I was homeschooled prior to 5th grade and was a bit awkward. Anyway. He was terrible. And it wasn’t just verbal, he would “pants” me often, punch me (“dead arm”) give me “Indian burns” etc. Also weird s**t like getting his friends to pick me last in games in PE, and then mocking me for being last.

The last straw came when he and his friends grabbed me as I walked home from school and throwing me OVER A FENCE into a yard on the way home with a big dog. And yeah it did bite me.

Anyway this was the 80s so very “boys will be boys” from the adults in my life.

So. I plotted my revenge.

Whenever the bell rang after recess it was a huge mele of kids all running en masse full speed back to the classroom buildings. I made sure to be near him at the end of recess and when the bell rang I ran on the grass behind him. Waiting. Waiting for him to get to the blacktop.

As soon as he crossed onto the blacktop, I sped up, jumped, and came down right on his back with my knee driving him into the ground hard. HARD. It broke his arm, nose, busted both lips, and chipped one of his teeth.

I also skinned my (other) knee (not intentionally but it worked out well) and also asked for help. I went to the nurse, he went to the hospital, and “I’m sorry I tripped” was not questioned much. Kids fell down and got hurt during that big rush pretty often, which is what gave me the idea.

Idk if he knew I did it on purpose, but he never messed with me (or really even talked to me) ever again.

I did feel kind of bad as I didn’t expect him to be injured that bad, but not too much. I did try to get adults to intervene more than once with no success. Law of the jungle, I guess.

I should add that in my adult life I’m absolutely the most nonviolent person you’d ever meet lol.