25 Rules To Getting Hitched That Need To Be Ditched

Where once the white wedding dress was the traditional route to take during one’s marriage nuptials, times have changed and we are seeing more and more brides opting for unique and colourful designs. But it’s not only the white dress that’s traditional when it comes to the big day, many cultures have practices and customs that they insist on following to this day. 

#1 Smashing cake in the faces. What a tacky thing to do.

Image source: anon, Jim Reynolds (not the actual photo)

#2 The fact that the second you mention anything is for a wedding, the price jumps x100. My daughter’s wedding planner bought round, decorated cakes from a local baker and stacked them herself with a wedding topper for a tiny fraction of the price the same bakery would have charged for the same cakes for a wedding.

Image source: JennieFairplay, Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)

#3 Vows along the lines of “wives, submit yourself to your husbands”

Image source: Upset-Possibility519, Abi Greer (not the actual photo)

#4 The garter toss. It needs to die like yesterday. It’s so crude. I did it at my wedding when I got married to my ex husband and if I have a big wedding for the next time, we’re 86ing it. I felt gross when we did it.

Image source: anon, Екатерина Шумских (not the actual photo)

#5 I don’t know if this is a tradition or more of a general sentiment, but phrases like “getting it out of your system” and “last fling before the ring” regarding indulging in some debauchery before the wedding ceremony are just disgusting.

Image source: Faeriecrypt, Katerina Holmes (not the actual photo)

The idea that someone would feel “the need” to possibly cheat on their partner is awful. There are plenty of couples who go to strip clubs together, too, and that enjoyment wouldn’t disappear after a wedding.

I have heard in movies excuses like, “Oh, at least he/she did it before the wedding” (and let’s be honest—the excuse almost always applies to the male partner).

#6 The newlyweds going into large amounts of debt to have the “perfect” wedding.

Image source: okreddituwin, Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)

#7 Bachelorette/bachelor parties in cultures where they’re more or less expected to revolve around or at least include sexual and/or humiliating activities.

Image source: sadsledgemain, Julie, Dave & Family (not the actual photo)

Plus points if the goal is to get the bride/groom p**s drunk too. In my world, those events are a way to celebrate a friend and their marriage, not something that should embarrass them or have any hints of the absolute gross “last night of freedom” idea, no matter how jokingly. It’s extremely weird and uncomfortable to me and I’d never partake in it.

#8 Most of them. Honestly, the excessiveness of weddings these days is nauseating to me. Not sure if that qualifies as a “tradition.” I don’t care for grandiosity when it comes to a one day ordeal that is truly meant for the bride and groom. It shouldn’t have to be a big production to entertain everyone else.

Image source: still_on_a_whisper, Craig Adderley (not the actual photo)

#9 Money dance. So incredibly tacky.

Image source: sparkleflamingo

#10 I wouldn’t say they irk me but I think wedding favours are a bit pointless. When I was a waitress in a hotel that did a lot of weddings, around half the guests wouldn’t take them and they just ended up either getting thrown away or dumped back on the bride and groom the next day, and it just felt like such a colossal waste of money.

(This is why when I got married, the ‘favours’ were a striped paper bag in our wedding colours – like the kind you get at the fair or in old fashioned sweet shops – with a slice of wedding cake and a teabag with a blend of tea my ex-husband and I made ourselves, so when people got back to where they were staying they could have some tea and cake.)

Oh, and also the idea that the best man’s speech has to be a relentless mickey take of the groom. A bit of light ribbing is OK but I’ve seen more than one that just descended into outright meanness about the groom, his new wife and her family, and it’s not a pleasant experience for anyone involved.

Image source: folklovermore_

#11 Any references to the groom being “tied down” or the bride being the old “ball and chain”. Like f**k why do we keep acting like married couples hate each other?

Image source: keket87, Alexander Mass (not the actual photo)

#12 The bride being “given away” by her father, like she was his possession and now she’s the groom’s.

Image source: msstark, Jhon Macias (not the actual photo)

#13 Honestly, the fact that people feel pressured to throw this massive, expensive extravaganza. Bring back the backyard weddings with a chill cookout.

Image source: anon

#14 Honestly, being forced to wear WHITE HEELS that I’d never wear again… I bought bright peach flats that I wore ALL DAY. My MIL wasn’t amused, especially at church. I, however, was delighted that after all of the other concessions I made that day, that I was able to stand my ground in the Orthodox church. But, afterward, I wore them until they became a different color and clearly well worn. No regrets!

Image source: crimson_anemone

#15 The separation of men and women in wedding parties. I’m from a very traditionally Catholic family and am very close to my youngester brother.

Image source: cherrybomb_777, X L (not the actual photo)

The spot of best man always goes to someone in your family that you are closest to (something my mom and dad told my older brothers who each chose each other) but when it came down to my younger brother and I my mom actually laughed at the idea of me being my brother’s best maid.

#16 I found out in some wedding traditions, the groom removes the garter from the bride with his teeth in front of everyone, and that sounds intensely uncomfortable to me.

Image source: FiveSixSleven, Rona Proudfoot (not the actual photo)

#17 I’m half South-Asian, so we have this “tradition” where the bride is expected to be sad and quiet/shy during the ceremony. The elders typically look down on brides who are happy, dancing, etc. It’s such bs and needs to be abolished.

Image source: anon, Spora Weddings (not the actual photo)

Also, there’s an expectation to invite and cater to people that you don’t even know. Friends of friends that are supposed “family”. You’re also expected to invite family members even if you don’t like them.

The show of force, as I like to call it, is another thing that irks me. The weddings that I have attended have always been big, flashy events. Gotta have the best cars, big venues, tons of people, flashy designer stuff, etc.

I’m not a fan of it. To me, it just looks like you’re spending thousands to impress people that you don’t even know or like, lol. It’ll all be a distant memory to them once it’s over and something new pops up.

#18 The 67000000000 pre wedding events. Bridal shower, bachelorette all that dumb expensive stuff.

Image source: anon, Ernie THE Producer2011 (not the actual photo)

#19 “I now pronounce you Man and Wife!” Was he not a man before? Is she just a wife now? If people started saying “I now pronounce you Woman and and Husband!” people might think that sounds weird, but it is exactly the same and just as odd.

Image source: LibraryOfFoxes, Pavel Danilyuk (not the actual photo)

#20 I’ve been a bridesmaid (or attendant) in 9 weddings. I have come to really hate weddings. I’m so over wearing an ugly dress (unfortunately I have yet to be in a wedding where I liked the dress), spending copious amounts of money, and feeling like glorified servant. It costs me usually around $1000 to be a bridesmaid! Do you know what I could’ve purchased for $9k at this point?!? I think the costly expectations of friends and family are the absolute worst part of the wedding industry. The ugly dress is just the salt in the wound lol.

Image source: thesixthamethyst

#21 Brides family pays for the wedding. There are 2 people in the relationship, so why? If you have parents paying for it, it should be a shared cost. Realistically, I think the bride and groom should pay for their own wedding. Either way, the cost shouldn’t fall on a single party.

Image source: SnowyLittleDeer, Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)

#22 “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith”.

Image source: Individualchaotin, Leeloo Thefirst (not the actual photo)

#23 In my country groom acts like he is paying for the bride, he brings money and there come few men dressed as a fake bride and groom is like “I don’t like this one, bring me next!” And then comes the real bride who he “buys”

Image source: Exotic_West_75, Carsten Vollrath (not the actual photo)

#24 Inviting everyone you’ve ever met.
Or on the flip side when people you don’t see much are upset they’re not invited. Not sure if that counts as tradition but dang. Just invite the ones you like. Lol

Image source: BackgroundSimple1993, Trung Nguyen (not the actual photo)

#25 Well, not to be a party pooper but I hate the messy ‘hen nights’ and ‘stag dos’ we have in the UK. We’ve managed to traumatise (well, heavily p**s off) most of Europe with these kinda do’s going on in places like Amsterdam, Malaga, Budapest, Benidorm to list a few. It’s embarrassing to be English nowadays, and them day drinking wrecks have a bit to do with it.

Image source: Sad_Marketing_Girl, Pazit Polak (not the actual photo)

I went to college in York and it’s hen and stag do central there because of the pubs and horse racing (and the fact is quite pretty). They caused a lot of vomit on the lovey cobbled streets, in broad daylight, on a sunny Saturday.