20 Immature Mindset Often Perceived As Signs Of Maturity
In life, we often falsely equate resiliency with maturity. We love to glamorize hardships as something that would build our character, when in fact, glorifying hardships without doing anything about them is among the toxic mindsets that we have to denormalize.
To show this, we went to this Reddit thread by CrispP_bacon. In the thread, they asked the community about some signs that are often mistakenly perceived as signs of maturity. The community chimed in to give their ideas, mostly from their own experience. Below, we compiled 20 of their most interesting responses.
More info: Reddit
The whole “men don’t cry” thing is pretty immature as a concept
Girls getting their period. A lot of people think girls “become women” when they start their period. I was 10 when I started mine and still a literal child.
My family thinks I am skirting responsibility by not having kids. I know a lot of people who had them thinking they were obligated to, and neglect them.”
“I remember telling somebody I know from college I don’t want them ever, and she said, ‘My boyfriend’s not afraid to take responsibility and have kids,’ as if I wasn’t a real man for not having them lol.”
“For some, it’s a sign of virility and maturity.
When the eldest child is made to be a third parent and is good at it, it does not mean they’re mature. They’re still children…children forced to raise their siblings.
Taking yourself too seriously.
My dad in a nutshell. ‘Stop being happy with your steady job that pays enough so you can afford whatever you want and leaves you with tons of free time, life and work need to be a grind and a fight or you’re not doing it right!.’ I guess that’s my gift to him, so he can have something to be angry about, the only thing that makes him happy.
I have seen many examples of people mistaking arrogance with confidence. Confidence, of course being a sign of maturity. I have been there myself when I was younger. Incredibly arrogant and I thought I was being confident. But confidence is someone who is secure in themselves and who don’t feel the need to prove themselves to others all the time. Arrogance is the opposite of that.
Putting others down. Acting like you’re above it all.
Dating older men in high school and middle school.
In highschool (late 2010s) we used to think that these girls that bragged about having boyfriends in their early 20s-30s were so much more mature than us. I remember being jealous since we had to deal with idiot hs boys instead of older men that seemed like the ideal men for us.
In reality those girls were being manipulated and groomed into thinking that they wanted these relationships. It breaks my heart knowing that so many young women will have to heal from the damage done to them by men that they think love them when really they are just attracted to the control and power they have over these girls who don’t know better.
I recently looked up one of the girls and it turns out that she had got married to the same man that had groomed her all those years ago. They met when she was 14 and he was 26. It made me feel phsically ill.
Editited for clarity
As someone who was tormented by parents and bullied at school.
People think that i ‘built character ‘ and got matured due to my sufferings..
All that happened that i lost my childhood and i gained nothing other than PTSD, anxiety, lack of recognising character, being friendless..
No ,you can’t become mature just because you had a tough childhood
I was dating a girl recently, and I showed her my PSP. I have it since 2007, original battery and everything, and I play PSX games from time to time. When I showed it to her she said ‘What are you, 12?'”
“I felt very small and childish. But maybe I shouldn’t have. Thank fully we are not dating anymore.”
Moving out of your parents house. Some kids I know moved out so they could just binge drink and smoke weed non-stop without their parents knowing. Other people I know stayed with their parents (seen as a sign of immaturity) because help was needed at home. Moving out doesn’t always mean maturity. Sometimes understanding the advantages it may give you long term financially are worth it.
Having toxic positive outlook towards life.
saying things like “there’s always somebody with a worse problem thans yours”
YES i know that but that doesn’t make my sadness any less painful.
I hate it when people try to compare the depth of issues. If X is drowning in a lake and Y is drowning in an ocean, they’re both still drowning!! stop comparing problems!
Too many teenagers think because they had a hard childhood that they’re somehow more mature than every other 18 year old. You aren’t. You’re traumatized and was forced to act like an adult for survival and was never given a chance to actually mature normally.
Not acting childish. Sounds so strange but the most mature people usually have no problem tapping into their childish or silly sides. Immature people overdo it trying to be „cool“.
Having a spouse and kids.
When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty, I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.’ – C S Lewis
“True adults are secure in their love for whatever they love – be it action figures , fairy tales , video games .Those who ridicule these people for their interests are actually the childish ones
Being too old for something you consider “juvenile”. Games, cartoons, toys, whatever. Nothing screams immature to me like ignoring something you love or putting someone else down for what they love because you think it’s for kids.
I need folk to understand working 60+ hours, and being proud isn’t the flex they think it is…