“What Is Something That Is Considered As ‘Normal’ But Is Actually Unhealthy, Toxic, Unfair Or Unethical?” (20 Answers)
In today’s world, there are things that we have to normalize. We should normalize men being able to show emotions, or to treat “no” as an end, not an invitation to bargain. Though, the opposite is also true. There are things so embedded in our day-to-day lives that we don’t even find them wrong.
And that is the topic of the thread by the Reddit user sammyjamez. In OP’s Ask Reddit thread “What is something that is considered as “normal” but is actually unhealthy, toxic, unfair or unethical?” several members of the online community pointed out some injustices that we just kind of shrug off. We compiled 20 of the most interesting responses below. Tell us in the comments what you think should be denormalized as well!
More info: Reddit
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People from work calling you on your day off.
Teachers spending their own money on classroom supplies. Along with the mentality that if you aren’t sacrificing your entire life “for the kids” that you aren’t a good teacher.
American work culture.
Working while sick, working overtime, poor work/life balance, etc…
Image source: GumbyGamer
The idea that a woman’s value is in her appearance, what’s worse is that girls I know are more responsible for this than guys
Image source: paperclip1213
Overweight/obese children being considered “normal” or “healthy” by their parents who are blind to how unhealthy they’re making their children.
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Beauty pageants for kids
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The idea you can’t have a healthy romantic relationship unless you have fights. I don’t mean like disagreements – I mean like full-on, screaming at each other, throwing stuff fights. I’ve had people literally tell me if you don’t have fights like this with your partner, then you’re hiding stuff from each other. Horrible, toxic fights don’t equate to having an emotionally healthy relationship.
Edit: wow! Didn’t expect this to blow up – I’m glad I’m not alone in thinking this way. Also thanks for the silver!
Image source: bohenian12
Shaming workmates when they go home on time. “Wow, you’re going home on the dot?” “Yes karen, cause i do my work fast so i can do my hobbies and go to the gym, while you rot away trying to impress the company that will never care about you.”
Image source: anon
Staying in abusive relationships, just because there isn’t physical abuse.
“I put up with it because I love him.” You shouldn’t be put through torture because you love someone.
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Older people using “respect your elders,” as a cop-out to being shitty to younger family members and not being held accountable for it.
Image source: Mister_4Eyes
Forcing somebody who is clearly sick to go to work/school. Like oh gee thanks for forcing your kid upon us, now we get to watch the plague rip through the school.
Edit: Thank you all for the input on this. It’s super cool seeing a bunch of perspectives being put together like this.
Edit 2: Thank you guys for the platinum! It’s really kind of whoever gave it.
Image source: Bussey83
Telling people who are extremely happy over a new purchase why it’s shitty or why they shouldn’t have done it.
I had a buddy who went from an old beat up pickup to a brand new Mazda 3. It looks amazing, is a manual, etc. One of our old friends harassed the living hell out of him telling him that it was a girls car, and that he should’ve just fixed up his old beater because it was more “manly” meanwhile this other guy is literally driving a car that is completely falling apart.
My buddy looked so discouraged and sad. I did the best I could to tell him how awesome his car is, and how much better the technology is in it compared to my older Saab.
This guy worked a ton of overtime saving as much as possble while working a barely higher than minimum wage job to get a decent down payment so he would have a nice monthly payment just to have his greatest accomplishment s**t all over. It is sickening.
Image source: anon
If someone asks you a yes or no question and you say no then they try to persuade you and get hostile and then expect you to do it anyway. That’s not a question but a demand. F**k those people.
When parents tell their little girls that the reason that boy is mean to her is because he likes her. Kids keep that same energy as adults and wonder why then can’t leave that dude being a complete and utter a*****e
The way people in fast food and other customer service related jobs are treated.
Nurses: fighting for 2% payrise.
Politicians: “Sorry not enough money in the budget for that”
Politicians: Give themselves 16% payrise
The idea that men have to hate being married, and the constant joking about how their wives are weighing them down
The school system and how it deals with fights. Whenever a kid is minding his own business and another kid beats the s**t out of him then they BOTH get in trouble. What the f**k?
Cheerleading in high school. Was a goth weirdo girl in high school and joined cheerleading as a joke like “look anyone can do it” and those uniforms made me so uncomfortable. You can’t bend over even slightly without flashing your a*s to everyone because the skirts are so short. But it’s ok because you’re wearing “spanx” (tiny tight elastic underwear). They skirts look longer than they are because they are higher waisted. In reality they stop right under your buttcheek. We had strict dress codes at school (I once got in trouble for wearing shorts that my mother had picked out for me. They couldn’t have been that bad if my over-protective mother bought them for me) but was allowed-actually it was mandatory, for us to wear uniforms on game days/ spirit days/ whatever the hell.
On top of that, the IDEA of cheerleaders were weird. A game needs attractive girls to cheer on the boys? Part of our uniform is to be sexually appealing? So weird. I understand it’s a legitimate sport, I’m not talking about competitive cheerleading as a sport itself. I’m a black belt in Martial Arts and I remember being impressed by the athleticism of the high-performing girls. I’m talking about cheerleading as it is utilized in the school system.
Telling people how to feel or forcibly trying to change how they feel. If someone’s sad, comfort them and let them be sad. If someone’s angry, then let them be angry and work out their frustrations (in a healthy manner of course).
All my life (24M BTW) I’ve been told that I shouldn’t be angry or that I “have no reason to be depressed”. This caused me to fake happiness, and you know what it got me? It got me panic attacks, screamed at for having panic attacks because they thought I was “faking” or needed “to toughen up”, and a burning anger that never seems to go away.
To this day I have trouble feeling emotions other than anger or sadness because I was never allowed to work them out when I was younger.
TLDR: Don’t tell people how to feel. Emotions are human and we need to work them out.