20 Hurtful Comments Made By Parents To Kids That Affected Them Even As Adults
As kids, we looked up to our parents as our role models. They were our first teachers and heroes so it’s only natural we valued their opinion very highly. Our parents’ reassurances helped us navigate our early years though with age, we realise our parents are only human and may even be flawed in their outlooks.
As our opinions change we accept the limitations of those whose DNA we share. But some specific remarks our parents have made may have unintentionally scarred us more than we like to admit. These hurtful things can impact us more than we realise and when Netizens were asked to share such not-so-pleasant memories they delivered. While we hope you don’t have a similar experience, if you do, you are not alone in having a passing remark impact you well into adulthood as per the examples below.
More info: Reddit
Image source: BlindEditor, Sinitta Leunen
“you can’t even laugh right”
My mom in a weird moment I thought we were bonding. There’s something inherently extra evil when someone tells you your joy is wrong
Image source: Icy-Veterinarian942, Andrea Piacquadio
My mother said lots of things like that. I’ll just talk about one of the most memorable.
While I went to go inside the the corner store, she stayed behind in the car. Outside the store was a kid that had a crush on me. He grabbed my a*s and I b***hed him out. My mother saw all this. In the following days and weeks she basically accused me of being a s**t, implying that I somehow invited it. She tried convincing my father of this, told her coworkers about it, everything except being a mom infuriated that someone touched their daughter like that.
Image source: Ilookbetterthanyou, Amine
My little brother was drowning, I tried to save him but also almost drowned, we got rescued by a neighbour. My mom told me that they should’ve left me in the pond. I haven’t spoken to her in many years
Image source: Silosolo, Mizuno K
What did I do to deserve a fat kid.
Image source: EonOfTheNightingale, Ketut Subiyanto
“You’re not skinny.”
My mom when I mentioned wanting to dress as Elle Woods for Halloween when I was 10. Yeah, I was overweight as a kid but that sure as hell didn’t motive me. To this day, whenever I see an outfit I’d love to wear, I hear that line in my head.
Parents, that s**t doesn’t go away over time. Your kids just learn to put it in the backs of their minds but hear you me, they still remember.
Image source: quasiMortal, Monstera
When I was 14, and struggling with depression. “You’re just a psychopath who will die alone cause nobody will ever love you”
Image source: LowRentSinatra, KoolShooters
Not me, but a friend after her dad had died. She told her mom that she missed her daddy; I say daddy because she was roughly 8 at the time. “You miss him so much? If you ever say that to me again I swear I’ll chain you to his gravestone!”
Image source: thepalebeast91, Ena Marinkovic
In 7th grade, I was learning how to write better poetry thanks to an awesome teacher. I was so proud of a collection I made, so I let my mom read it. She asked me, “Do you need to be put in a mental asylum?” I was so upset and as I was growing up, I didn’t share any of my art with people, regardless of the medium. Even now, I still hear how serious she was when she asked me that.
Image source: kap1tein, Pixabay
Mom was talking to dad about me while I was right there. I was bullied in high school and it had an effect on my grades. While discussing my education she said:
“Look at him. Can’t you see there’s nothing in there? Just look at how he sits there. He can’t do this. He’s not capable of more. This is it. He’s nothing.”
It gave me a drive and motivation. It also gave me a constant need to prove myself.
EDIT: I never imagined this to get so much replies. For the people wondering: this happened almost 20 years ago and I have now found peace with what she said. My mom has a lot of mental issues but she tries her best. She’s made a lot of progress and is still working on battling her inner demons. And in the end: she has since done a lot more good than bad to me. I will never forget what she said but I no longer hold it against her. People shouldn’t always be reduced to their worst moment.
Image source: floutsch, Pixabay
My father is very good at maths. Especially at doing it in his head. I always was self-conscious about that. One hike in the mountains he gave me a math problem and I went totally blank, tried to frantically solve it in my head but couldn’t. Finally he said “You once were intelligent, that’s long gone.” starting a monologue about how dumb I am.
I was 13 at the time.
In my end thirties we had a chat about chemistry, which I excelled in at school. That led to other subjects and it turned out, he wasn’t really good in any subject we shared, except math. I was in most – except math.
It’s taken quite some time to accept that this isn’t true but being told I’m selfish and arrogant for speaking about things I might like, or how I’m feeling when I was a young child. Growing up it was more speak of when you were spoken to as you had no real reason to speak otherwise unless you were going to risk being screamed at or physically hurt, and I only ever had sentences based around me saying sorry, thank you and please.
As an adult now, even when someone wants to listen to what I have to say I still occasionally unintentionally cut myself off and stop talking out of fear. And the fact that someone is actually willing to listen to what I have to say – but I’m working through it >:D
Image source: MachineSpecialist582
Image source: sam_the_beagle, Stanley Morales
I asked my parents why they gave my sister a lot of money for college and not me. My dad said, “we never thought you could finish.”
I have a doctorate now and no student loans ever.
Image source: Discarded_Pariah, Liza Summer
My parents divorced when I was young and they hate each other. My mom would call me my dad’s name when she was really upset. What makes it worse is that I confided in her that I never wanted to be like my dad. She used that ammunition against me
Image source: AwareFaithlessness39, Melissa Eder
My sister won a ton of toddler and baby beauty pageants. My dad for awhile didn’t believe I was his daughter.
He told me I wasn’t pretty enough to be his daughter. Well jokes on you dad, we look just alike. My younger sister and I do too lolll,
Killed my self esteem, but I think it’s kinda of funny now.
Image source: Firm-Ad-3984, Ron Lach
I was probably 14, it was ‘97 or ‘98, and I was walking up the stairs one afternoon. My dad was on the landing, looked at me, paused and said “your forehead. It’s ‘gettin zitty with it.’”
I’ve told him about how it’s something I still think about now that I’m an adult. He has zero recollection of something I remember so vividly.
The axe forgets, but the tree remembers.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Not really an insult but is what I’d hear any time I had a negative emotion. Having emotions was grounds for punishment. Now whenever I’m sad I hear that voice in my head.
Image source: Oldmanbabydog
Image source: Responsible_Fly_3565, Mariana Blue
I was an only child and lonely. When I asked for a sibling, the response was “if you want to know why we don’t have more kids, go look in the mirror”.
Image source: rot_grl, Andrea Piacquadio
She told me I was acting just like my father when I would get upset. I would just get kinda pissy and sulk. He would go on rampages and scream and hit and throw things. He pushed her down the stairs once. I would never lay a finger on my current partner.
The worst part is I look just like him. I was wondering if my mother always expected me to turn into my dad. I prove her wrong every day.
Edit: Thank you to everyone who shared their own stories. It’s good to know I’m not alone. Also, to the people suggesting I had previous partners I would actually abuse, I can understand the wording could have been better but how dare you.
Image source: foppishyyy, Norma Mortenson
“You’re so annoying.” Said to me as a young kid while I was expressing enthusiasm over some new interest. Later my father complains I never tell him anything.
Image source: SpiderPubes, Leah Kelley
When I was ~10 years old, my mum once said “If I could go back in time and make sure I never gave birth to you, I would in a heartbeat”
Never forgot it. Talked to her a about it a couple of times years later and her responses ranged from “That never happened” to “oh yeah and I suppose I’m just the worst mother ever” and finally “yeah but I didn’t mean it, you know that”
Messed me up tho tbh. Another one was “[older sibling] was the only child we actually planned for, the rest of you were accidents.” I don’t think it was intended as an insult, but being told your entire existence was an accident as a child kinda stung.
When I was 6 my mom told me that I got my freckles from her holding a strainer up to my face and throwing shit at it.
I was raped when I was 11 years old. It is a nightmare I will never forget. What made it even more painful was my dad calling me a sl*t. My heart still hurts and I am 46. We haven’t spoke in 25 years
I was raped when I was 11 years old. It is a nightmare I will never forget. What made it even more painful was my dad calling me a sl*t. My heart still hurts and I am 46
Your father was mentally ill.
Your father was mentally ill. He didn’t protect you, it was easier for him to say a child brought it on themself than yo admit to himself he failed at the most basic duty of a father – to protect their child(ren).I cannot tell you how sorry I am for what you went through, without parental supportl support.
For me it wasn’t just my parents saying hurtful things to me it was everybody around me including my two sisters I was always told I’m ugly I didn’t know any better I didn’t know what I was talking about I was fat. It still hurts to this day even though i am 33.
For me it wasn’t just my parents saying hurtful things to me it was everybody around me including my two sisters I was always told I’m ugly I didn’t know any better I didn’t know what I was talking about I was fat
For me it wasn’t just my parents saying hurtful things to me it was everybody around me including my two sisters I was always told I’m ugly I didn’t know any better I didn’t know what I was talking aboutn I was fat
My parents always said hurtful things to us growing up but one thing that I still remember clearly and still hurts, my dad calling me a lesbian bit*h when I was in 2nd grade and saying I would burn in hell. My mom and I would fight a lot when I was a teenager and I had depression. I remember crying and saying “you don’t love me.” She laughed at me and said “grow up.”
I make over 13,000 a month working part-time. I listened to different humans telling me how a good deal of cash they may make online,x123so I was determined to locate out. Well, it turned into all actual and it absolutely modified my life. Everybody must try this job now by just using
this site……… http://cashzone3.blogspot.com/
For me it wasn’t just my parents saying hurtful things to me it was everybody around me including my two sisters. I was always told I’m ugly, I didn’t know any better, I didn’t know what I was talking about I was fat. It still hurts to this day even though i am 33. My baby’s dad is still abusive to me mentally. He would build me up if someone else put me down, but he would find ways of putting me down. Now he isn’t letting my son come see me because of my mother and sister. It is hurting more