20 Hurtful Comments Made By Parents To Kids That Affected Them Even As Adults
As kids, we looked up to our parents as our role models. They were our first teachers and heroes so it’s only natural we valued their opinion very highly. Our parents’ reassurances helped us navigate our early years though with age, we realise our parents are only human and may even be flawed in their outlooks.
As our opinions change we accept the limitations of those whose DNA we share. But some specific remarks our parents have made may have unintentionally scarred us more than we like to admit. These hurtful things can impact us more than we realise and when Netizens were asked to share such not-so-pleasant memories they delivered. While we hope you don’t have a similar experience, if you do, you are not alone in having a passing remark impact you well into adulthood as per the examples below.
More info: Reddit
“you can’t even laugh right”
My mom in a weird moment I thought we were bonding. There’s something inherently extra evil when someone tells you your joy is wrong
My mother said lots of things like that. I’ll just talk about one of the most memorable.
While I went to go inside the the corner store, she stayed behind in the car. Outside the store was a kid that had a crush on me. He grabbed my a*s and I b***hed him out. My mother saw all this. In the following days and weeks she basically accused me of being a s**t, implying that I somehow invited it. She tried convincing my father of this, told her coworkers about it, everything except being a mom infuriated that someone touched their daughter like that.
My little brother was drowning, I tried to save him but also almost drowned, we got rescued by a neighbour. My mom told me that they should’ve left me in the pond. I haven’t spoken to her in many years
What did I do to deserve a fat kid.
“You’re not skinny.”
My mom when I mentioned wanting to dress as Elle Woods for Halloween when I was 10. Yeah, I was overweight as a kid but that sure as hell didn’t motive me. To this day, whenever I see an outfit I’d love to wear, I hear that line in my head.
Parents, that s**t doesn’t go away over time. Your kids just learn to put it in the backs of their minds but hear you me, they still remember.
When I was 14, and struggling with depression. “You’re just a psychopath who will die alone cause nobody will ever love you”
Not me, but a friend after her dad had died. She told her mom that she missed her daddy; I say daddy because she was roughly 8 at the time. “You miss him so much? If you ever say that to me again I swear I’ll chain you to his gravestone!”
In 7th grade, I was learning how to write better poetry thanks to an awesome teacher. I was so proud of a collection I made, so I let my mom read it. She asked me, “Do you need to be put in a mental asylum?” I was so upset and as I was growing up, I didn’t share any of my art with people, regardless of the medium. Even now, I still hear how serious she was when she asked me that.
Mom was talking to dad about me while I was right there. I was bullied in high school and it had an effect on my grades. While discussing my education she said:
“Look at him. Can’t you see there’s nothing in there? Just look at how he sits there. He can’t do this. He’s not capable of more. This is it. He’s nothing.”
It gave me a drive and motivation. It also gave me a constant need to prove myself.
EDIT: I never imagined this to get so much replies. For the people wondering: this happened almost 20 years ago and I have now found peace with what she said. My mom has a lot of mental issues but she tries her best. She’s made a lot of progress and is still working on battling her inner demons. And in the end: she has since done a lot more good than bad to me. I will never forget what she said but I no longer hold it against her. People shouldn’t always be reduced to their worst moment.
My father is very good at maths. Especially at doing it in his head. I always was self-conscious about that. One hike in the mountains he gave me a math problem and I went totally blank, tried to frantically solve it in my head but couldn’t. Finally he said “You once were intelligent, that’s long gone.” starting a monologue about how dumb I am.
I was 13 at the time.
In my end thirties we had a chat about chemistry, which I excelled in at school. That led to other subjects and it turned out, he wasn’t really good in any subject we shared, except math. I was in most – except math.
It’s taken quite some time to accept that this isn’t true but being told I’m selfish and arrogant for speaking about things I might like, or how I’m feeling when I was a young child. Growing up it was more speak of when you were spoken to as you had no real reason to speak otherwise unless you were going to risk being screamed at or physically hurt, and I only ever had sentences based around me saying sorry, thank you and please.
As an adult now, even when someone wants to listen to what I have to say I still occasionally unintentionally cut myself off and stop talking out of fear. And the fact that someone is actually willing to listen to what I have to say – but I’m working through it >:D
Image source: MachineSpecialist582
I asked my parents why they gave my sister a lot of money for college and not me. My dad said, “we never thought you could finish.”
I have a doctorate now and no student loans ever.
My parents divorced when I was young and they hate each other. My mom would call me my dad’s name when she was really upset. What makes it worse is that I confided in her that I never wanted to be like my dad. She used that ammunition against me
My sister won a ton of toddler and baby beauty pageants. My dad for awhile didn’t believe I was his daughter.
He told me I wasn’t pretty enough to be his daughter. Well jokes on you dad, we look just alike. My younger sister and I do too lolll,
Killed my self esteem, but I think it’s kinda of funny now.
I was probably 14, it was ‘97 or ‘98, and I was walking up the stairs one afternoon. My dad was on the landing, looked at me, paused and said “your forehead. It’s ‘gettin zitty with it.’”
I’ve told him about how it’s something I still think about now that I’m an adult. He has zero recollection of something I remember so vividly.
The axe forgets, but the tree remembers.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Not really an insult but is what I’d hear any time I had a negative emotion. Having emotions was grounds for punishment. Now whenever I’m sad I hear that voice in my head.
Image source: Oldmanbabydog
I was an only child and lonely. When I asked for a sibling, the response was “if you want to know why we don’t have more kids, go look in the mirror”.
She told me I was acting just like my father when I would get upset. I would just get kinda pissy and sulk. He would go on rampages and scream and hit and throw things. He pushed her down the stairs once. I would never lay a finger on my current partner.
The worst part is I look just like him. I was wondering if my mother always expected me to turn into my dad. I prove her wrong every day.
Edit: Thank you to everyone who shared their own stories. It’s good to know I’m not alone. Also, to the people suggesting I had previous partners I would actually abuse, I can understand the wording could have been better but how dare you.
“You’re so annoying.” Said to me as a young kid while I was expressing enthusiasm over some new interest. Later my father complains I never tell him anything.
When I was ~10 years old, my mum once said “If I could go back in time and make sure I never gave birth to you, I would in a heartbeat”
Never forgot it. Talked to her a about it a couple of times years later and her responses ranged from “That never happened” to “oh yeah and I suppose I’m just the worst mother ever” and finally “yeah but I didn’t mean it, you know that”
Messed me up tho tbh. Another one was “[older sibling] was the only child we actually planned for, the rest of you were accidents.” I don’t think it was intended as an insult, but being told your entire existence was an accident as a child kinda stung.