30 Awkward Moments When People Talked Freely, Not Knowing They Were Understood By Bilinguals

#1

Image source: buckstache, freepik

I spent a few years in Seoul and gained near fluency after about a year of immersion. Most days on the street I’d hear something about the size of my nose or my blue eyes. Usually it was satisfying enough to look right at the speaker until they paused then I’d just introduce myself and ask them about their day. Met a lot of cool people.

In some situations it was a game. One of my Korean friends was fluent in English. We used to take the bus together and talk about whatever just to see what happened with the crowd. He spoke English and I replied in Korean. Really messed with the other passenger’s heads. Good times.

#2

Image source: mannynandez, gpointstudio

I am Hispanic and fluent in both English and Spanish, and people often think I don’t speak spanish.
So there was this one time I was at a laundrymat folding clothes, while these two Hispanic ladies are at a table across from me folding their clothes.
Both of them are speaking loudly in spanish so I couldn’t help but overhear what they were talking about. They start talking about alcohol. One of them said ever since she got married and had a kid she stopped drinking. The other chick was saying that she loved getting drunk and could not live without alcohol that she wanted a boyfriend so he could buy her alcohol and take care of her kid.
Then they both start talking about their ideal boyfriend. One of them says that she is lucky to have found her husband because he is everything she wanted in a guy. The other chick was listing off a huge checklist of her perfect guy. (Hot guy, must worship her, buy her everything, amazing job, clean, cook, take care of kids,etc)
She then is interrupted by her friend saying that she was never going to find her perfect guy with her list being so long she then turns and looks towards me saying what about a guy like him.
Her friend immediately rejected that idea. She then began to make fun of my clothes, hair, glasses, everything ( I’m a pretty nerdy looking dude) she says how I look like a loser who is doing nothing in life, probably that im poor and won’t be able to buy her things, and more.
I think to myself that this chick is quite rude and loudly reply in spansh, I wouldn’t be into a chick like yourself, because I wouldn’t want a lazy drunk for a girlfriend.
She got silent and just stared at me. Her friend began to laugh uncontrollably.

#3

Image source: TokyoCalling, jcomp

Many things overheard. But my favorite moment was early on when I first moved to Japan in 1994….

Waiting on the train platform in a rural village when a mother and her young son come through the gate. Immediately the son grabs her mother’s hand and tells her in Japanese that they have to be careful of me – that I’m a dangerous foreigner. He promised to protect her but he was hiding behind her.

We had a long wait. Eventually he decided he could creep closer. Still muttering under his breath about the foreigner. So I muttered back, “I love Japanese children. They’re delicious.”

He ran screaming.

I did not feel bad about it.

#4

Image source: sardlot, serhii_bobyk

Not me, but my uncle. On a late night bus out of Chicago, he was sitting there just reading and two girls at the next stop came on, chatting in German. They sat a few seats away from my uncle and started gossiping about inner-circle drama, what they were going to do for the night, regular girl chatter. Then one of the girls saw him and said something along the lines of, “What I would do to him if I had the chance..” to her girlfriend, and they both laughed and her friend quickly shushed her and said ” What if he hears us!”

The first girl replies “They’re all just stupid Americans, we’re fine!” and without missing a beat, in perfect German, he replies, “Oh, no, please do tell: what would you do if you got the chance?”

They’re getting married next spring.

#5

I’m from American but I live in Japan, and my friend came to visit last year. While we were sitting at a counter at a sushi restaurant this Japanese older couple came in and sat in the seats next to us. We were just looking at the menu and talking about what to order and I overhead the guy next to me talking to his wife saying “Oh, I wonder if they’re OK…they probably can’t read the menu…should we do something? Maybe we should help.” It was actually kind of cute. I just turned to them and politely said that there was no need but I appreciated the thought.

Image source: ghost_in_the_potato

#6

Image source: vlonylene, ASphotofamily

Living in germany for a few years, i could understand german.

travelling in a bahn somewhere near augsburg

little girl around the age of 5 or 6 with her mother sat opposite and pointed at me as asked why i am so black.

Mother patiently explains about afro-americans and slavery and freedom.

girl waves me while leaving.

I am indian.

PS: Thanks for the wedding gold , kind stranger, incidentally , tomorrow is my wedding day.

#7

Image source: iheartbaconsalt, iheartbaconsalt

So much YES! I am a man with very long hair. One evening at Dell HQ, the Spanish-only speaking janitors were behind me waiting for the elevator and one of them says, “she sure has a nice back and beautiful hair!” They turned red when I turned around to show them my long, elegant beard. I said, “Gracias!” in a cute girly voice.
PICS: But not what you were hoping for. Old work pic for hair shot, SHAVED shot to be funny (1.5 years ago) and a shot from the car, very recent, with beardly goodness. http://imgur.com/a/ax6ld.

#8

Image source: Ginger_Prime, freepik

Didn’t really hear it but saw it. Pretty fluent with ASL and saw a girl talking bad about me for being a slow employee. We were at a coffee shop and I didn’t work there. Priceless look when I walked past her and got in my car only to sign at her through the windshield that she’s a heinous jerk.

#9

Image source: Thinc_Ng_Kap, gpointstudio

I can speak Polish. By speaking Polish, you can (in varying degrees) understand Ukrainian, Czech, Slovakian, and to a small degree, Russian.

I’ve heard a few things directed to me once or twice. On one particular occasion, two Ukrainian girls were talking about me on the subway, but not letting them know I understood. When I had to get off the train, I simply smiled at them and said “I understood everything you two were talking about.” and left.

Their faces dropped.

#10

Image source: riman8, rawpixel.com

Was studying abroad in Berlin, and these two guys on the U-bahn (subway) were talking about how I dress like a “stupid American.”

I told them *in German* that they looked like typical “Deutsch-douches.”

They stared, shocked, as I got off at my stop.

#11

Image source: ellieellieoxenfree, pch.vector

My mother-in-law was complaining about me in Spanish to my father-in-law just after my husband proposed — things like how I was bringing him down, was lazy, etc. They were used to my husband translating their dialect for me, but I had slowly been learning and getting better and understanding them. So they were quite shocked when they realised that I understood what was going on, and in fact spoke better Spanish than their youngest son (who was raised in an English-speaking country, but still spoke Spanish at home).

They were never rude to me again, especially since I was the only one of their children’s significant others to bother learning the language. So not exactly the lazy, bringer-down they thought.

#12

Image source: KG1219, gpointstudio

I teach German at an Afrikaans school and when I came to the school I couldn’t speak or understand the language. Now after a year I understand nearly everything but I haven’t let my students know that yet because they are always sitting in my class and gossiping about other teachers or students and I enjoy being up to speed on what is going on at school.

#13

Image source: anon, freepik

ASL here. You’d be surprised at how many deaf people freely talk bad about everyone.

It is really is a different culture.

#14

Image source: aaroncnbn, senivpetro

Once on the subway in New York, this young guy tells his friend in French, “who would wear red pants?” I turn to him and say “you’d better watch out, you’re not the only one that speaks French.” His friend then gets extremely embarrassed and says “I told ya so.”.

#15

Image source: anon, krakenimages.com

I lived in Western Africa, where most 99% of white folks are visitors who don’t stay long enough to learn the local language- even though english is an official language most prefer their native tongue.

One day I left my cell phone in a taxi, and had to chase it all the way to the taxi ranks. Out of breath I asked, in english, for my phone. She said she had it and I had to pay what amounted to $10. I said no, and she should give it to me, i paid my fare.

Her and the other drivers started speaking Fanti, saying I should pay more, maybe $20. I had the money. I was an American.

So I walk over to her slowly, put my hand on her shoulder and say “Auntie, Osiande me ye obroni, wo dwin m’insase fanti, a? Wo se, Dzin Pa ye sen Ohonia. A?” (Auntie, because I’m a white guy, you think I don’t speak Fanti? Your people say that a good name is better than riches, yes?)

All of the cabbies got quiet and turned to her. She just held out my phone, and I grabbed it and casually walked away to the “Ooooooo”s of all the other cabbies. From that day, whenever I took a cab in that town, they called me Dzin Pa (A Good Name).

#16

Image source: sfzen, freepik

I’m American. I was in Paris on the metro, and I heard these drunk American girls talking about me. I glanced at them and heard one say “do you think he’s listening?” And her friend said “no we’re speaking English. He probably only understands French.”

…I don’t even speak French.

#17

Image source: Naelavok, DC Studio

Not in real life, but I was once playing Stronghold 2 online (2v2). Apparently pretty much everyone on there was German. Anyway, I’d greeted them in English, so I guess they assumed I only spoke that, and so even though there’s no Allies-Only Chat, they felt comfortable talking about their plans with each other.

They discussed their strategies in German. I understand German. I did well that game.

#18

Image source: Everlynd, freepik

Backpacking in China – a little girl near me asks her dad “What kind of person is THAT?!”

I answered in Chinese: “I’m an American!”.

#19

Image source: anon, karlyukav

Mexico. Just a regular neighborhood in CDMX. I was staying with my GF who lives there. I’m a white guy from the Netherlands. But I was wearing a cheap old outfit and wearing a baseball cap. Stubble beard. I looked like a local sitting down with my 6ft.

Two Dutch girls walk by. They look at me, giggle, and one wonders why Mexican men are so ugly and scary. The other disagreed and said that I at least wasn’t fat. My clothes were just awful, according to them.

Later, in the shower, I found at least 3 satisfying replies I could have given that would have given me Reddit gold times 4 here, easy.

Anyway, I didn’t.

#20

Image source: robemmy, freepik

Sat across from two German girls on a train. They said I was “7/10, maybe 8/10 if he smiled more. Looks like his mother died or something. Smells nice though”. I told them my mother was fine.

#21

Image source: Triton5, mego-studio

My cousin was having dinner at a Chinese restaurant with his parents and overheard the waiters speaking Chinese saying something about what black people are doing eating there (referring to my cousin and parents). My cousin replied to them in Chinese. Ended up with free dinner.

#22

Image source: T0xicati0N, EyeEm

My mother was visiting hers in Prague, and walked to her car with German plates. Some idiots were standing next to her car, one said: “I can’t wait to see how that stupid cow is going to get out of that parking spot.” and my mother answered “Well, if the stupid cow got her car in there, she’s going to get it out of there too, right?”.

#23

Image source: dan_jeffers, rawpixel.com

Not exactly the same, but my ex-wife was Arabic and spoke the language fluently. But normally she acted and looked very western. Once we were selling a van to two North African Arabic guys, and she listened as they discussed how much money they had and could offer. They also thought it was difficult to handle the transmission (manual, but on the steering column instead of the floor). We made sure to show that she had no problem driving it (they were a bit chauvinist) , and sold it to them for their max price.

#24

Image source: takemetoglasgow, freepik

I live in Japan and this happens quite a lot and to varying levels of insult. I’ll tell a cute one. I was at McDonald’s perusing the menu board and the longer I stood there, the more uncomfortable the staff became. “Oh no. No one speaks English. We have to find the English menu. Where is the English menu???” I told them, “No, it’s ok, I’m just thinking.” They all sighed in audible relief.

#25

I sign, but I’m not *really* skilled enough to speak English while I do it so I don’t (Plus there was no need to, I was the only hearing volunteer that night). Earlier this year I was a volunteer at a Deaf event held in my town, it was at a pool hall that was just open to the public as well as the people playing in the Deaf competition; I was actually shocked how often a hearing person would come in and say something rude and mean about us all signing away happily.

Eventually I just got sick of it and told one group walking past I could still hear them and the looks on their faces were great to watch.

Image source: I_Have_The_Legs

#26

Image source: s317sv17vnv, tirachardz

My mom speaks an obscure dialect of Chinese, although not very well since she learned English upon going to school. But she can still usually understand anyone else speaking the Cantonese dialect.

One day we went to a market in Chinatown and my mom was trying to order something, but the people had a hard time understanding her because obscure dialect. At that point, the old ladies behind us started talking smack about us in Cantonese. My mom said what she got out of it was: *That lady is very Americanized, her Chinese is terrible. And her daughter* (me) *is clearly half-White and because of that she is ugly.* We gave them the stink-eye.

#27

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I was in a restaurant once with friends and there were a couple Mexican women talking about how annoying we were. The looks on their faces when I told them I could hear them was priceless.

#28

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At a blackjack table in an Indian Casino two Mexican dudes were kind of drunk and talking business. Big business. Of the Breaking Bad variety. I kept my head down and mouth shut and pretended I didn’t hear a word.

#29

Two old Japanese ladies in a sauna were talking about their niece and how she was about to marry a “stupid American” and was making a huge mistake. Finally one of them said something like “there’s other people in here, maybe we should talk about this later”, to which the other responded: “what, those two white girls? Yeah sure, like they would understand.” My friend and I were only like 12 but were in a Japanese immersion program. When we left I said “I hope you get the problems with your niece worked out.”.

Image source: CatherineConstance

#30

Image source: ahbr, Drazen Zigic

Every day at work! I work in a manufacturing facility with many hispanic immigrants who like to gossip constantly. They assume that (due to the fact that I am white) I have no understanding of spanish. But what they don’t know is that I went to a school system which required us to take four years of a language, where I reluctantly learned spanish.

For three years now I’ve been working there, listening to their gossip about me. I haven’t said anything because I like being able to hear what they really think (and find it kind of amusing). At times it has been quite difficult to pretend like i cant’ understand, but I’ve managed to pull it off.

I’m really looking forward to my last day when I bust out my Spanish and teach them a lesson about being judgmental and shallow.