30 People Share Eye-Opening Examples Of Today’s Toxic Femininity
We have heard enough and more about toxic masculinity but how familiar are you with women who tend to display toxic femininity? The term is used to broadly describe women who gatekeep certain activities such as babysitting or taking the kids on playdates or feature the feminine aspect exclusively in some way.
It can even represent instances where women claim certain stereotypes and behaviours as feminine stereotypes. Indeed, according to many Redditors, it does happen more than we realise and they shared their stories of being exposed to such ‘toxic femininity’ in the hopes of eradicating it through awareness.
Dad of a 5 year old girl here. When my daughter was a couple of months old my wife discovered a nearby play group and was planning on taking her there for a session. I decided to take her myself as it landed on one of my days off and I wanted to spend some real time with my little girl and my wife deserved a break.
The play group is taking place in a large community hall and there’s quite a few people there with kids ranging from newborns to around 4 or 5. However I quickly noticed that out of about 30ish parents I’m the only man there and everyone stares at me. I think nothing of it and proceed to the soft play section for the babies to play with my daughter.
Not 10 minutes pass however and I notice mums and even nans pretending not to stare at me and talk under their breath. At first I thought I was being paranoid because I was nervous being the only dude there but then I noticed it was several groups doing it. I then overheard one of the mums in the baby section with us say to her friend/sister/who cares that I must be dodgy or on the offenders register. Yes. THAT register. All because I happened to be the only dad there.
I picked my daughter up, told the women where she could stuff her opinions and promptly left.
I told my wife what had happened and then she went back by herself and had a somewhat heated exchange with the organisers. Sometimes I think I married a dragon because she returned with a face so red with rage you’d think she just breathed fire.
But yeah… Tldr. Play group mums can be f*****g sexist as hell.
#2 Women who bully/criticize guys on their height and treat them horribly but when a guy PREFERS to not date a 250lbs woman, oh he’s a misogynistic pig that’s judging women based on their appearance.
My wife could not produce enough milk for our children. When our first was born she tried and tried. I woke up in the middle of the night to her crying. She felt like she was a horrible mom to even bring up formula.
There is so much pressure on moms, and it is incredibly stupid. Our kids are very well adjusted and were on formula the entire time. I tell anyone who is expecting their first that the only “right” way is the “right way for that child.” Damn everyone else’s opinions; do what is best for your family; not the mommy bloggers.
I want to put this in because of all the responses: my oldest is 10 years old and my Wife is at peace with it; she worked through her guilt, which I totally agree she should not have any guilt: she is an excellent mother. The statistics on breastfed vs. bottle fed have other correlations which I don’t want to take the time to defend, anyone can read the studies….but adding other factors like home life and atomic households, the delta between the two are not as big as the breastfeeding fanatics point out. Lastly, anecdotally and take this as a a claim from a dad. My kids are healthy and hyper-intelligent. My oldest has been consistently tested through school as top 2% composite intelligence, and she is thriving in advanced classes. I say this because there are people who say that IQ is impacted by breastfeeding. It just isn’t true, my children thrive, they are healthy and they know they are loved.
#4 Toxic femininity is not being allowed to show anger, displeasure or frustration. I was brought up to be accommodating and non-combatative. Unlearning…
#5 Women who throw other women under the bus for a man, or the attention of a man etc.
#6 Moms bullying other moms.
I am a feminist and I am constantly discussing how boys are being left behind. Statistically, they are further behind girls now than girls were behind boys in the 70s. And that warranted federal legislation to deal with the inequities.
We are promoting feminism at the expense of boys. Instead we need to be promoting both sexes to succeed. From a feminist perspective, everyone in society loses when either sex is left behind. And we are seeing the effects of this now. Sky high rates of single mother households which is also the most impoverished cohort, triple the suicide rate among men than women, low college degree achievement, etc etc.
I get shouted down and basically shunned when I discuss this with other feminists.
#8 Mothers shaming C-Section moms saying they didn’t give birth because the child was surgically removed
#9 Being a b***h and pretending like it’s cool or acceptable just because you openly admit you’re a b***h. Maybe being “a bad b***h” is just you being immature and grasping at social constructs to justify your immaturity and lack of growing potential.
#10 Being nOt LiKe OtHeR gIrLs
#11 When girls aren’t allowed to do things because it isn’t feminine.
#12 Pulling the “If you’re a real man” card whenever they need something.
#13 Being the default choice for custody of children even when you have a record of jail time, [substance] abuse, assault, and are a felon, while the father is employed and only has traffic tickets on his record. Whoever decided my mom was the better parent could only have come to that decision out of sexism. No other answer.
#14 Wanting to be treated equally only in certain situations, depending on who benefits most from it. You can’t pick and choose like that. We should all be treated equally all the time, in every aspect.
#15 Plus size women having to be hyper feminine to be taken seriously.
#16 Calling men “creeps” for doing totally normal things. Same way men overuse “crazy” for women
#17 Fake crying to avoid accountability
#18 Putting other women down for their interests
#19 The mindset that a man cheats because he’s a scumbag looking for some fun, but a woman cheats because she’s feeling unloved in a relationship and the intimacy is just not there. Cheaters are s****y people, period.
#20 I’m surprised I’m not seeing anything about pushing standards of self presentation on other women. For example, “you can’t wear heels if you’re too tall”, “if you don’t wear makeup it means you’re lazy”, “she should have gone on a diet before wearing that dress”, etc. To me this is what toxic feminity is.
#21 Not putting in romantic efforts in a relationship because they think only men should be romantic and pamper them. Works both ways!
#22 In my professional experience working in a field that is predominately female, I have observed that gossip and defamation can be pretty common among women. At least in a professional setting, women (or people who identify as women) won’t confront you directly with an issue, but they will assassinate your character when gossiping to others. You know it’s bad when normal volume turns to whispers and then the door closes. Yikes.
#23 Women who will believe other women purely based on the fact they are a women without any facts or evidence put forward.
#24 Women that only want traditionnal values when it benefits them.
#25 Mothers telling women without kids that their life is meaningless and they can’t understand true love.
#26 Telling men to be more sensitive then nope out when they are.
#27 “If a woman doesn’t have a job that’s okay, but if a man doesn’t it’s just pathetic.” ^ have heard repeatedly from radical feminists I know
#28 Judging other women for not wanting to wear heals. It’s a freaking spike attached to the bottom of your foot!!! Why is this still a thing that’s expected to look ‘professional’ or ‘classy’. I’m convinced the majority of the pressure comes from other women.
#29 Leading on a guy you don’t intend to get romantic with to get him to do things for you.
heres what **my wife** said;
1. “women who shame men for being draft dodgers, knowing full well that they will never be drafted.” (she says that they have absolutely no right to have an opinion on any man who “dodges the draft”)
2. “the fact that nearly all women hate each other and talk s**t behind each others backs” (yes, she admits that she is guilty of this, I always point it out when she does it and she gets annoyed with herself for it)
3. “blaming men for things we have done”
4. “believing that they are perfect and that their mere presence is enough to sustain a relationship”