“Picking My Dreams”: 20 People Share Their ‘Useless’ Superpowers
At some point in our lives, we all wanted to have a superpower. But as reality sets in, we realise we’re no Superman. But while mutations that give us gifted abilities quite like the X-Men don’t exist, there are some people who have wonderfully weird abilities that are quirky and totally useless.
From peculiar powers that include being able to pick the theme of a dream to the ability to always pick the shopping cart with the wobbly wheel, these ‘useless’ but captivating superpower confessions are only good for a laugh. So read on to learn about the underdogs of the superpower world who may not save the world, but they make it a better place nevertheless.
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“The last place I worked I could tell who had already arrived at work before me that morning by the smell(s) in the elevator. There was only one elevator as it was a small building. Kinda gross, but I freaked out a coworker because I was always right.”
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“My daughter has a parking fairy, basically she can pull into a shopping centre carpark and someone will pull out in front of her so she can park.
My mother-in-law had the same power.”
“My daughter says she can choose what she is going to dream about every night.
She describes it as having a few scenes to choose from and she picks one. She was amazed that nobody else in the family could do this. She thought it was normal.”
“Wow, this is the best superpower and anything but useless! I’m very envious and super happy for your daughter too! It’s called lucid dreaming and I’ve been trying to do that all my life. She needs to hold on to it! It is a gift. I have only lucid dreamed 1-2 times in my whole life where I could control it like a director.”
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“I can walk into a crowd of people and it naturally disperses. Have had this since high school, told my buddies-they laughed at me, until I walked onto a dance floor and soon had a 4ft open circle around me. They became believers. To be clear, I shower daily, wash and launder my clothes weekly, practice good hygiene, etc. I literally just walk into a crowd, and it disperses. Just did it last week at my local mall—started laughing and said, ‘Shoulda video’ed it for the boys.'”
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“I can remember things I did when I was 8 months old.”
“I can forget things I did 8 minutes ago.”
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“I’ve never really told anyone this before, but I think I remember being born. I’ve had these ‘memories’ my whole life. I’m in a completely enclosed space, with the space touching my skin and whole body, but not claustrophobic. Then there are moments where it’s smooth, and then all… crunched up? Like a smooth piece of aluminum foil, then it’s all wrinkled, then smooth again. It’s dark, but also my eyes aren’t open or closed. Sometimes I’ll get this memory when I’m falling asleep. I can’t think of anything else it could be.”
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“Severe aphantasia. Only a small percent of people with aphantasia have complete aphantasia and I’m one of those s*ckers.
I cannot picture things in my mind. At all. It’s pitch black, and it never changes. Apparently, you mutants can just close your eyes and imagine whatever you want like some sort of hallucination. I don’t even fully understand how that would look…”
I’m on the complete opposite end with hyperphantasia. My imagination is extremely vivid, it feels more real than real. My favorite thing to do is to create new episodes of my favorite shows and just watch it in my head.
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“I have an extremely strong sense of hearing, but people think I’m hard of hearing because I can’t hear them when there’s any kind of background noise.”
“I have this too. Its like my hearing gets overflowed with information and I can’t choose to not hear things. Nothing ever gets to the background noise setting.”
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“My useless super power is being double jointed in my ankles to the point I can turn both my feet around facing backwards. I was given the nickname crazy legs by a few of my classmates in high school. Its useless cuz not only does it freak people out, sometimes scaring off the more faint of heart but i stopped doing it entirely because the older I get it becomes a bit mire painful when I do it though I’m still definitely able to do pull it off. Most people my age aren’t impressed and honestly in hindsight teenagers are impresses by dumb crap like what I’m able to do. Adult life isn’t about impressing anyone but yourself or potential employers. More importantly life isn’t a popularity contest.”
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“(This is from actual medical/psych professionals.) I have very high observational vigilance and extremely fast information processing speed.
This can and has been extremely useful for a lot of my gal friends. If they were ever in doubt about a dude (couldn’t decide if his behavior was problematic or not) they’d introduce me and watch if I reacted negatively to them.
It’s useless because when you have this starting a young age it can REALLY screw you up. You start getting flooded with noticing other people’s negative reactions around you when you’re too young to understand that they’re not because of you. F*cks up your self esteem and is a recipe for chronic depression that translates into chronic social anxiety. I’m ok now, all handled and taken care of as an adult.”
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“I swear to god almighty I can sense death. When either someone close to me, or a very well known public figure (celebrity, politician, etc) is about to die, I can feel it. I can’t explain the feeling further than a spidey sense. I know it when I feel it, and moments after I feel it, someone f*cking dies. Either naturally or in a freak accident. I know this doesn’t sound useless, but it happens so quickly that I would have no time to do anything about it, therefore, useless. Other than being an early detection system I guess.”
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“I’m fantastic at killing flies and mosquitos by clapping them with my hands. Almost never miss.”
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“I can tell you exactly what episode of Golden Girls is coming on based on the first 10 seconds of the episode.”
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“I can read really fast, hard to prove to people though and if I get into a real flow people just think I’m flicking through a book too quick and don’t believe me.
I read so fast that if I read out loud I trip over the words on the page, I’m reading them in my head faster than saying them so I’m always a few words behind. In my head though yeah it just flows like water.”
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“I can find the slowest checkout line at the grocery store.”
“Haha that’s something we all have in common! Never change your first impulse decision. I always regret the change of a queue.”
“The trick is to always go to the one with the least amount of old people. I try to approximate the average age of a line and go to the lowest.”
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“I used to know when the phone (land line) would ring. I would go over the phone and wait a few seconds to pick it up before it rung. My mother was baffled by it and I also didn’t understand why. Hasn’t happened for the past 14 years now.”
“When I have to wrap multiple food items in aluminum foil, I have the super ability to pull my next sheet of foil and cut it to exactly to the same length and size as the last sheet, creating a stack of perfectly matching foil sheets. It amazes no one but me, and makes for a terrible party trick.”
“That’s the most useful useless thing I’ve ever heard. Good on you.”
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“I am a trivia savant.
‘There’s many things you can do with that.’
Yeah, win $20 off of bar tabs at pub trivia.
Otherwise, I never had finger dexterity to be a ‘Who Wants To Be a Millionaire’ contestant, and got third when I was on Jeopardy and won $1000.
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“Not me but my mom, if they have leftovers she can pick the exact right container it’ll fit into perfectly. It’s magical.”
“I have the exact opposite of this ability. No matter what, the container I choose is always the wrong size. If I try to play it off against itself and pick a different container before putting food in it, then the original container will have been the right size after all.”
“I have no object permanence, and it also works on people. Basically, if I don’t see people often enough I just forget them.”
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Got wisdom to pour?