20 People Talk About Why Their Friendship With A Best Friend Ended
For many of us, friends are like family. We think of our friendships as the unbreakable bonds of a pack that runs through thick and thin together. But as life goes on, differences tend to crop up. Priorities change, values change and people change. Sometimes we even realise that someone we thought highly of may not actually even be a good influence in our lives anymore.
When one Netizen asked an interesting question online about what caused the end of a relationship with a best friend, the answers that poured in were heartbreakingly familiar. It serves as a reminder that sometimes, people only come into our lives for a season for a reason.
More info: Reddit
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She became a mom martyr. The clincher was when I told her I was assaulted at work by a full grown man covered in poop and she responded ” well that happens to me daily and nobody pays me” Her oldest was seven.
I was told I couldn’t have children after years of wanting nothing more than to be a mother. Even with this knowledge my former bff told me one day that I could never know what love really was because I didn’t have kids. I realized that day just how toxic, abusive, and one sided our friendship had always been and cut her from my life.
Turns out the drs were wrong and I’m currently 5 months pregnant with my first child at 40. So yay for happy endings!
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He told my entire group of friends (and a lot of non-friends) at a party that I told him I was gay, before I got a chance to tell them myself.
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His wife cheated on him. I was the bad guy for trying to let him know.
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Went on a mini-vaca (was supposed to be 4 days) with my best friend in 2021 to NJ, she brought her (then) 8yr old son, I brought my (then) 4 yr old daughter. Her son was so disrespectful, swearing, nasty attitude and so mean to my daughter the entire trip. The last straw was on the morning of the 3rd day when he ripped a box of cereal out of my daughter’s hand, she started crying and he slapped her across her head. I tried disciplining him and my friend blew up at me and proceeded to DEFEND her son, as she called my daughter a “whiny baby”. We started arguing, I packed our bags and said we’re leaving. I drove 4 hours home without saying a single word to her or her son. Got to her house, threw her bags on her front lawn and peeled out of her driveway.
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My 16 yr old sister got me tickets to the Harry Potter exhibit in New York City when I was 13. Spent her own money on it for two tickets. Me and her. My best friend found out and through a fit to her mother that “ She should be going because she is a bigger fan” and the mother messaged my sister to tell her to give her ticket to her daughter because “ It’s the right thing to do” My sister told her to f**k off and told me immediately
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She told me I was her best friend, but didn’t put me in her wedding party. But continued to ask me for wedding styling advice for her bridesmaids. It all stung but I got over it. She also told me she needed me at her bachelorette and I was helping her brainstorm ideas.
We talked daily. One morning we talked like normal and that evening I saw posts of her on her bachelorette. We’d been best friends since HS, she had a girl she’d only known for 6 months on the trip with her. Her response when I asked about it? “Oh someone surprised me with it sorry you’re upset”
Blocked her and haven’t looked back (and I’ve been a bridesmaid for better friends multiple times since ?)
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I stopped being the first one to reach out every time. Never heard a word from them again.
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He got a DUI while driving my car and then lied about it and lied about why my car was towed. He lied about losing his license (suddenly he just wanted to walk everywhere for the exercise). He lied to my friends and told them it was my fault cuz registration had lapsed.
When I finally confronted him about it he kept lying.
Childhood friends since 1st grade essentially grew up together so you think we would have very similar morals and standards but right after having his 2nd kid at 19 he became emotionally abusive and eventually physically abusive towards them for about a couple months eventually he was arrested for domestic violence and she was hospitalized for a broken nose and fractured orbital bone.
I felt so f*****g guilty I didn’t noticed any of the abuse the times I was over and just such shame that he was my closest friend still bothers me years later.
Story has a relatively happy ending though his ex gf became my new best friend and now i call her my wife :)
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My mental health.
It got too much to handle and they backed out.
I absolutely understand this, but man..that hurt
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Unhealthy friendship dynamic. She always wanted/needed my approval and when I’d be honest about the fact she f****d up- she’d tell me what a terrible friend I was. She could never take responsibility for her actions. F****d and f****d over every person she knew. Lied about everything and burned every bridge she made. The down side is that she was FUN AS HELL! My favorite outdoor adventure partner. And we’d been besties from our 20’s into 40’s. But damn, time to grow the f**k up, ya know?
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when i realised i was basically this persons free therapist and we saw each other a lot, evrything was a moan-fest! caused me way more stress and misery than happyness. blamed his wife wanting a divorce on me, said he wrote a book about how bad a friend i have been, so i asked why he keeps contacting me if im so bad, i said iv had enough of your s**t, never contact me again.
I realized the only person putting effort in to maintain our friendship was me. If I didn’t start a conversation, we didn’t speak at all.
I stopped starting conversations. At first, I was just wondering how long it would take her to reach out. She never did. And I’m glad, because now that I’m not breaking my back trying to prop up our friendship, I realize how little I really got from it. I realized that I was always the one trying to mend fences and apologize when we fought, while she apologized for nothing. I’ve realized it’s not normal to expect a nasty fight with your best friend once a month. And I feel so goddamn *free*.
I’ve moved on. I’ve made new friends and deepened other friendships. At this point, even if she did reach out and apologize (she won’t), I wouldn’t want anything to do with her.
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I realized that all that “good-natured ribbing” over time was really more malicious than good natured, and that I was the outlet for his own insecurities.
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Asked to borrow money (~$3000) and told me not to ask for what, not because they needed help and trusted me but because I “had a decent job and could spare some”. Badgered me that I needed to send this money within 24 hours and kept repetitively asking when the money was ready. I was worried it was a medical emergency so I insisted they tell me why. No response except for “hurry up with the money.” Turns out they got scammed but that ended our friendship really quickly…money ruins relationships…fast.
Edit: wow I’m sorry to hear all of you having similar experiences. Thanks for hearing me out.
It was my last year in a country I previously lived in and at the time it was during summer vacation where we normally spend it in our home country. We had to cut our vacation short because we got a phone call telling us that our house had gotten broken into and robbed. We came back and on that day and he was talking to me telling me he saw cops by our house and he hopes everything is OK. It was horrible with everything stolen, furniture destroyed, closets torn down and fully emptied. My family decided to accelerate the transfer from that country and there was that. A year later he messages me a long e-mail explaining how sorry he was and that he was responsible for it and that his friends were the perpetrators and that he knew who did it but didn’t want to expose them. When we showed the police the e-mail and they questioned him it turned out he was part of that group as well.
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I didn’t realise that slowly, over twenty years, she’d basically turned me into her own personal therapist.
Every single day, almost 24/7, she’d be calling and texting, expecting me to sort out every single one of her problems, and validate her s****y, hurtful behaviour.
Then one day at the end of last year, I got into an accident that left me hospitalised. Whilst I was mostly fine functionally, I had a lot of scarring and was told that I might need a skin graft surgery later down the line, depending on how it healed.
And my best friend since we were 11 didn’t even ask how I was. Not *once*, not for two whole months. The only time she acknowledged that I was even injured was when she said, “that’s a bad way to start the morning” when I told her that I was in A&E.
She just… didn’t care.
And once I realised that, walking away was easy. Haven’t missed her at all, best decision I ever made.
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Choosing men over her family and close friends, disappearing to another state at the drop of a hat with no way to be contacted, oh and meth.
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When I realized all we had in common was binge drinking. No support when it came to attempts to cut back. Instead they got irritated when I didn’t want to go to the bars. I kept saying no and explaining I wanted to avoid situations with drinking. One guy said you can’t be part of “our” friend group if you don’t like going out drinking as some sort of intimidation tactic
Got wisdom to pour?