20 Men Share Their Biggest Relationship Insecurities

Published 1 year ago

When it comes to relationships there’s a lot of focus on a woman’s perspective but what about the men? During a study of 15,000 people it was found that 82% of men said being married someday is ‘very’ or ‘somewhat’ important to them. So, a redditor decided to hop on our favorite platform for discussions, and asked the fellas to share the biggest insecurity they have felt in a relationship as a boyfriend or a husband and many men stepped up to reveal the heartrending vulnerabilities they feel.

More info: Reddit

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Image source: Square_Swordfish_916, Leah Kelley

The fact that I’m about to be a stay at home dad and her parents keep bothering me about what I’m gonna do. She’ll makes significantly more than I ever could and there’s literally no point in me working anymore. I just don’t like being judged.


Image source: No-Education818, Almos Bechtold

Giving them the feeling of not being there for them enough.

I tend to be very quiet and introverted. I’ve been told several times that I’m too much in my head and that they have the feeling I’m not “actually there”. But I try to work on it and be more open about my feelings and stuff


Image source: sk8t-4-life22, Kelli McClintock

Well I quit my job to pursue my dream of owning my own business but it’s going to take a long time to get there so right now, I’m just a stay at home dad.

I thought it’d feel awesome being at home and being with my daughter while my wife works. It is awesome being with my daughter each day but man I feel kinda crappy now being a stay at home dad, like I’m not doing my part as a husband and father.


She’s such a better parent than I am. Between my temper and my size, both of my girls have this “don’t p**s off dad” mentality. It’s effective in the heat of the moment, but I watch her interacting with them and I feel completely inadequate as a parent.

Edit: As there seems to be a commonality in the comments here, I’ll note that I have been seeking professional help for both the PTSD and the anger management issues at the core of this. I want to be a better parent for my children, and it’s clear that I need professional help to get there.

Image source: Sawsamurai


Image source: hkfskhsfuhkefshkf, energepic.com

– Not being as good a provider as I know I could be. What am I working *for,* anyway?
– Empathy. She tells me her troubles and my only thought is: How can I fix them? She doesn’t want me to fix them, she just wants me to listen and care.


Image source: DankMemesMateus, gpointstudio

That I cannot fix every problem they have and that I am not always the problem when they’re upset. I have to let them be upset and understand it’s not always me and it’s okay to just listen to them.


My wife had cancer and now is in remission. I never felt more useless than when we were at the hospital and they told us and I just couldn’t do anything to fix it. I had to hope that someone else could help save my wife’s life. I couldn’t just beat the cancer up or yell at it or tell it to leave her alone, I felt f*****g useless.

Image source: zerosupervision


Image source: marchingzelda, Waldemar

that i will never find a woman as awesome as the one I just buried…

I miss my best friend…


Image source: Cmwilson19, Tatiana Syrikova

The amount of attention she receives. In my head, I can’t compete with any of the guys who openly go after her. And I genuinely think she would not give me the time of day if she didn’t have a child I am great with.


Image source: dman2316, Ron Lach

For me it’s feeling like i’m a drag on my partners life. I have several health issues that leave me in extreme pain near constantly, constantly sleep deprived and without any energy or motivation to do anything besides lay in bed and watch tv or listen to music while cuddling with my girlfriend. Meanwhile my girlfriend is a perfectly healthy, energetic and full of life young adult who wants new experiences and doesn’t want to spend a minute more than she needs to resting. I try my best to keep up and if i can’t do a certain activity she wants to try, i actively encourage her to do whatever it is she is wanting to do (i.e go to an amusement park, go on a road trip, go carting, activities like that) with her friends, but at the end of the day the unavoidable truth is i am a damper on her life and i don’t see why someone like that is willing to be in a relationship with someone like me.


Image source: Ezmoshe, JF Martin

Dying young and having another man raise my children and f**k my wife. It’s all the encouragement I need to live healthy.


Image source: madeinthearcade, Chirag Saini

I play with my daughter all the time but at the end of the day, she always prefers mummy.


Image source: 1punman_, LightFieldStudios

I am nothing but a collection of insecurities


Image source: StarTawek, Dương Nhân

That it isn’t real. Just someone having fun with a guy who’s gullible enough to let himself think he found somebody who actually cares for him


Image source: anon, Ron Lach

The person she tells you not to worry about. Trust me, we know. We can see the change in subtle behaviour and the feeling of ‘losing’ her.


Image source: space_llama_karma, LightFieldStudios

That I’ll be made fun of if I’m vulnerable. It’s happened before, and it’s hard to really trust like that again. You wonder “will this be held against me?” wether it’s teasing or in a fight. or if she’ll tell her friends.


Image source: ACalcifiedHeart, Wavebreakmedia

That I am not good enough, in any sense of the word, and that my partner is “just settling” because I’m stable.

Can’t help but feel sometimes they’re just waiting for something better to come alone, ya know?


Image source: HatesNewUsernames, Marc A. Sporys

That I’m not worthy of her. She’s the total package and I’m just… me. What makes it really crazy is that we have been together for almost 34 years and I still feel this way. In no way, shape, or form has she shown me that this might be true. She’s literally the perfect partner.


That i will push her away with how weird i am.

Image source: Portablemammal1199


I know it is unlikely but dying at the wrong time. Like driving the family somewhere or she is at work (she works odd hours) and it is just me and the kids. I had this walking nightmare for years of me getting like a stroke while driving down the highway and sliding out of control with everyone screaming or me just keeling over at home while my kids sit with my corpse for 6 hours.

As for why maybe it is because I like problem solving stuff for them and one day that is going to go away.

Image source: who_said_I_am_an_emu

Shanilou Perera

Shanilou has always loved reading and learning about the world we live in. While she enjoys fictional books and stories just as much, since childhood she was especially fascinated by encyclopaedias and strangely enough, self-help books. As a kid, she spent most of her time consuming as much knowledge as she could get her hands on and could always be found at the library. Now, she still enjoys finding out about all the amazing things that surround us in our day-to-day lives and is blessed to be able to write about them to share with the whole world as a profession.

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man's vulnerabilities, men in relationships, men's feelings, men's perspective, men's relationship insecurities, relationship anxieties for men, relationship insecurities
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