25 People Share The Most Memorable First Text They Got On A Dating App

Published 1 month ago

The dating game can be rough. It may even want to make you quit trying altogether sometimes. But you have to admit that it can be entertaining nevertheless. With all the added avenues of meeting people online things can get interesting because you meet all sorts of characters. Some interactions lead to a happily ever after while others just make for a fun story to add to the chronicles of dating disasters. 

So when one Redditor asked, “People who use dating apps, what is the weirdest message you’ve gotten to start a conversation?”, the most eclectic collection of stories was revealed. Scroll below to check out how the riveting events unfolded.

More info: Reddit

Read more

#1 Opened our initial conversation on PlentyofFish by asking for my detailed zombie apocalypse survival plan. I fell in love immediately. We’ve been married for almost 12 years now.

Image source: anon, cottonbro studio

#2 A friend got the message “Wow. Your eyes could start a cult”.

Image source: pinkynarftroz, Noelle Otto

#3 After my girlfriend and I started dating, she showed me her dating profile so I could see how many messages she was getting. About 50-70 per day, most of them were just “hi”. A few were really creepy (“you look like my daughter/student/sister”), but one stood out to us and we laugh about it to this day.

Image source: Soulfighter56, adiprayogo liemena

“you ever get f****d by a marine baby”

No punctuation or question mark, so we asked ourselves “what, like a baby shark? Baby whale?” lol… In the end she had 1500 unread messages when she deactivated her account.

#4 As a man, I didn’t get any opening messages. Got some doozy responses. One that still haunts me is when I sent this woman a nice opening message, talking about some of the things in her profile we had in common and asking a few open ended questions to start a conversation.

Image source: TypeGreen51, Rosemary Ketchum

Her response was: “With all the hot military guys in town, you need to put your aim lower.”

Then she blocked me. I thought I already had low self esteem, but it took another hit that day. lol.

#5 Ah man. There were a few.

Image source: Shahfluffers, RUN 4 FFWPU

“What is your credit score?” (literally their first line after I messaged a greeting)

“Do you want children? I want to start having them in the next year.” (this is coming from someone in their late twenties)

“I like it when people are mean to me. Can you f**k me up?” (that’s baggage I can’t handle even at the best of times)

“CNC?” (translates to “Consentual Non-Consentual”… hard no for me)

“You’re not my type. But my gay friend thinks you’d be a good ‘daddy.’ Can I give him your number?” (kinda flattering, I guess?)

“My husband died last year and I am looking for someone to be a part of my family.” (she had 3 kids, all sub 10 years old)

“You’re white. I only date black guys.” (so why’d you match with me???)

The list goes on. Needless to say, I periodically rage-quit dating apps after a month or two of this.

#6 I once got an opening message that said something like “you might not be the prettiest girl on here, but beauty is only a light switch away.” This was over 10 years ago, and I bet that dude is still single.

Image source: Crystaltornado, Tara Winstead

#7 Matched with a woman. Her first message was, “I guess you’ll do.”.

Image source: Bigt**s38, Charlotte May

#8 I was on hinge for a while and saw someone had “can’t text/call/meet on weekends because I’m in jail.” I thought this was a joke. It was not. She was doing time on the weekend for assault.

Image source: Exobyter, RDNE Stock project

#9 “You want to be my first dark skin ;)?” Some gay dudes really have no shame.

Image source: Karakara16, nappy

#10 My ex got messaged by the Swiss Cheese Pervert on OK Cupid. He started out respectful enough but by the 3rd paragraph was talking about how he likes to [enjoy some alone time] with cheese. She told her friends but no one believed her (she blocked him so the messages disappeared) until he started [being a bit too intimate] with cheese in public, got caught and went viral.

Image source: negativeyoda, NastyaSensei

#11 My brother sent this girl a message on Hot or Not: “Do you like burittos?” They’ve been together for 17 years and married for 11 now.

Image source: Henry__Every, Pixabay

#12 “I want my wife to have your eyes.” I don’t think it was meant like that, but my first thought was that the dude wanted to cut out my eyeballs.

Image source: CurvyCarrots, Noelle Otto

#13 Whose d**k do I have to suck to suck a d**k around here.

Image source: Big-Carpenter7921, Maurício Mascaro

#14 “WHY DON’T YOU SKYDIVE INTO THIS P***Y!!!” and then immediately unmatching me when I was like, “Woah now…”.

Image source: Synamyn_Dyxon, Tom Fisk

#15 ‘Hi there! You look like Anne Frank’ ?.

Image source: Discotraxx1990, Photo Collection Anne Fra

#16 A girl once messaged me with something along the lines of “do you ever see a bunch of cheese and say damn, I want to eat that cheese. And by cheese I mean my p***y”. I couldn’t help myself and replied that I’m lactose intolerant.

Image source: Teazykatka, Engin Akyurt

#17 “Excuse me good sir, would you kindly like to hook up?” She was clearly wasted. 5 minutes later she unmatches. Apparently she didn’t like I wasn’t available immediately. This isn’t a f*****g Wendy’s.

Image source: FriendsForEternityLH, Andrea Piacquadio

#18 I am a sterile man and a woman messaged me first on Tinder with “It’s a shame you can’t have kids. I mean, what if we fall in love after we f**k and I want to have your babies and I can’t? I’m sorry, I don’t think this is going to work.” After I replied, she ignored it and unmatched a few days later. We were both looking for casual so extra weird.

Image source: Wishilikedhugs, Pixabay

As a bonus, when I moved to a new area, I decided to use Bumble BFF to make friends. I didn’t realize that apparently gay dudes use it to low-key try to pick up straight men. The first message I got was a dude asking me if I would fart in his face with my cheeks spread open. I turned it off after.

#19 “You’re cute , hate dogs though” (I had very my cute dog in a photo).

Image source: DuffNinja, Helena Lopes

#20 I matched with a guy who taught at my old HS. I was in his homeroom class for 1 year, so we didn’t really talk much, but he gave me an entire essay confessing his love to me. He told me how he noticed me but never made the move, and was glad I finally reciprocated.

Image source: panfriedtomato, Andrea Piacquadio

#21 The weirdest first message I’ve received was “My hovercraft is full of eels”, and I can’t imagine what sort of conversation she expects if the person she sends the message to doesn’t happen to be a Monty Python fan (we’re getting old and rare here).

Image source: malsomnus, Jeffry Surianto

#22 I was the weird one. I’d start off commenting about something in the background of a pic. If I couldn’t think of something funny I’d just say “how do you feel about geese?” Most people have strong opinions.

Image source: SomeS**ttyBean, Pixabay

#23 Some gay dude offering me a free place to live if I s**t in a box and gave it to him every time I s**t. I was neither gay nor looking for a place to live and I didn’t bother to ask what the s**t was for.

Image source: BasicallyJustAnIdiot, Kim Stiver

#24 I was on Bumble, and got asked my Myers Briggs personality type. When I responded, she unmatched immediately. Gotta respect the hustle.

Image source: chromane, mikoto.raw Photographer

#25 My buddy got a self-esteem slaughterer of a response once. He asked her about the book series she mentioned in her profile. She replied, “Too far. Too fat.” And that was it. Killer.

Image source: ThingCalledLight, Pixabay

Shanilou Perera

Shanilou has always loved reading and learning about the world we live in. While she enjoys fictional books and stories just as much, since childhood she was especially fascinated by encyclopaedias and strangely enough, self-help books. As a kid, she spent most of her time consuming as much knowledge as she could get her hands on and could always be found at the library. Now, she still enjoys finding out about all the amazing things that surround us in our day-to-day lives and is blessed to be able to write about them to share with the whole world as a profession.

Got wisdom to pour?

500-

Tags

cringe, Dating, dating apps, fails, first texts, funny, relationships, text
Tweet
0
Like deMilked on Facebook
Want more milk?
Hit like for a daily artshake!
Don't show this - I already like Demilked