20 Funny Moments People Realized Their Partner Was Maybe Not So Bright
When you start dating someone initially there are so many questions in your mind as to what kind of person they are. The first blush of romance is generally a surface attraction but with time we know that it’s important for a healthy relationship to have discussions on life goals, finances, kids, and hopefully.. Education.
Unfortunately, according to a series of stories shared to a Reddit question posed by u/Known-Pop-8355, many people don’t seem to have the same common sense and knowledge that proper education provides but the way these particular people realized that they are “dating an idiot” is what’s absolutely epically hilarious. Scroll below for a collection of tales that will have you lolling in glee and facepalming in cringe.
More info: Reddit
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Had a girlfriend that tend to throw fits for everything.
One day she spotted me on a restaurant’s terrace on my campus having lunch with a lady. She came storming in like a fireball, started to scream at me, started to insult that poor lady she said was old enough to be my mother (come on, you understand already how could she not) and all.
When she finished I just said “So mom, this is X, my ex girlfriend”
My mom still brags about the fact that my ex believed she could pull a guy my age. At least she took it the right way lol
We were driving down the road, and she looks out the window to see a field full of cows.
She then asks, “Do they call it pasteurized milk because the cows were raised in a pasture?”
I married her.
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Phoned him up the day he moved into his first student flat (in the next country over – we were doing long distance). He said “I’m fine, just desperate for a cup of tea and can’t have one til tomorrow.”
“Why not?” I asked him, knowing very well he had pans.
“There’s no kettle here. We’ll have to go buy one.”
“If you’re that desperate, just boil water on the stove.”
“Oh! Yeah! Um… how do I do that?”
And I then had to talk a technically adult man through the process of boiling water.
Edit just cuz: I did marry that idiot, but only after I taught him to cook.
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We drove past a windmill on a windy day. She commented how it was too windy out and they should turn the windmill down. She was dead serious…
Image source: Saminotsammy, Priscilla Du Preez
I introduced him to my stepsister. He said, “weird, you guys look nothing alike.”
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It was when vampire-related shows and movies were in the height of their popularity. He became obsessed with vampires. When we would go outside, he started to act like the sun was hurting him, and he would shield his face with his hands while groaning in pain. Think of Jim from The Office with his vampire prank… only he was more dramatic… and serious
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She would always ignore the idiot lights in her cars, until they broke down. We bought a car that actually tells you when to bring it in for service. She came up to me, really frustrated, complaining about the car being noisy. She said “There’s this big flashing message that says “BRING AUTO IN FOR SERVICE” and I can’t get it to turn off. What should I do?” This person has a PhD too.
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She didn’t know how to get to my house from anywhere but her house. Her work was about halfway between my house and hers, but she had to drive home first every time before she could drive to my house.
*this was pre-smart phones
I came home from running errands one evening to him running out of our fenced backyard to grab the hose with a look of panic on his face. He yelled for me to grab the fire extinguisher.
He’s pretty calm and collected so to see him riled up means s**t’s going down.
So I grab the fire extinguisher out of the garage and run out in the backyard where there is a huge fire burning in a pile of leaves up against the fence.
We manage to rake it away from the fence and hose it down enough that it was under control. Finally got the chance to ask him why the f**k the fence was on fire.
He tells me that he was making some rockets and wanted to test one so he put it in a vise and it took off.
God dammit, you know how to make f*****g rocket fuel out of raw ingredients but you can’t f*****g figure out a test jig and f**k near burn down our house.
8 god damn years we’ve been married. It hasn’t gotten better.
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I watched her wrap a potato in aluminum foil and toss it into our microwave. I spoke up and said you can’t do that, because of ,ya know, microwaves. (She was 25) looks me right in the eye and says “my mom does this all the time, she taught me”
As nicely as I could I explained how she must be mistaken. She digs in, five minutes of passionate arguing result in me saying “try it”
She forced herself not to react to the volley of sparks and zapping sounds for the first few seconds, just in case it stopped.
Looked me in the eye and said “well it always worked before”
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Dated a guy with hemmrroids who swore that every time they bled he was just having his period.
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Dating this gal and we go out on a double date, she’s kind of Goofy, but more lacking common sense vs like dumb as a box of rocks…..until that night.
So double date is BBQ, we all order she gets ribs, so we are eating she says what part of the cow is this from? We chuckle, she stares at us all (her sister included), and says “Did you not hear me? What part of the cow does this come from?” We, in unison say, ribs! She responded *”I KNOW THE NAME FROM THE MENU, BUT WHAT PART OF THE COW IS IT??”*
I was done.
It was the most obvious one… they can NEVER lose an argument. No matter what facts are presented, no matter how insignificant them being wrong would be, they will not give up on being right. I could offer them irrefutable proof on something, and they would ignore it. Let me just give you a hypothetical example of how far it can often go.
Them “cows are so skinny”
Me “you mean fat?”
Them “that’s what I said”
Me “no, you said skinny”
Then “I know what I said”
Random person in back seat “you said skinny…”
Them “oh, so both of you heard me wrong. Yall need your ears checked. Yall seriously don’t know what you’re talking about ever. ”
Me “here’s the dash cam footage, let’s just listen to it”
*video of them literally saying cows are so skinny*
Them “see, I told you I accidently said skinny”
Me and 3rd person “WHAT?”
Me “you’ve literally just been arguing the opposite this entire time!”
Them “no I haven’t?”
We go through checking the footage and proving them wrong again and they eventually give up the cycle by changing the argument to me being an a*****e. That’s how it ends with the simplest and most complicated of things. It’s a really clear defense mechanism of an idiot.
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My ex thought he could play hockey and found what he thought were the holy grail of skates. He bought them for $200 (I don’t know the price as it was a long time ago). His friend, who lived in a city an hour and 20 minutes away, told him he got the same skates for $195. So my ex, in his old Camaro that cost $50 in gas round trip, returned the skates he got for $200 and drove 1 hour and 20 minutes to get the skates that were $5 cheaper. That should have been the biggest red flag. But sadly, it turned out I was the f*****g idiot who stayed with him for a few more years..
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My ex didnt think it rained over the ocean because there was enough water there already.
She was shocked it rained when we were on a cruise.
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How alcohol content percentage works.
We argued for months that 10% as alcohol content remains the same even if you halved the bottle.
She said nope, if you halved the bottle then the alcohol content would be 5%.
Engineer graduate that too.
She works for a software firm.
For 12 years.
When I mentioned I was on my period, he asked what my favorite flavor of tampons are. He genuinely thought the colors on the tampon packs were flavors, and that it would soak into my blood while inside and I’d eventually taste it.
I’m desperate to know the source of this information.
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I went on a couple dates with a woman who owned two large energetic dogs. When she bought them she was informed that she’d need to walk them every day to get them exercise and burn off energy. To save time, instead of walking them she’d take them for a drive and thought that accomplished the same thing.
Image source: inkseep1, John Englart (Takver)
We went to a science museum and saw a display of a carboniferous swamp and I casually remarked that the land would have been different back then due to plate tectonics. She had never heard that the continents moved so I explained how it worked with plates moving, earthquakes, and volcanoes. She still didn’t believe me. So I found the plate tectonics museum display that explained it all. And then she said she was amazed that I had enough pull with the museum to have them set up a display to support my lies.
When she asked, “How long does it take for a boy to grow a new testicle after intercourse?”
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Got wisdom to pour?