40 Gentle Gestures From Men That Spoke Louder Than Words

Reddit can be a strange place full of memes, debates, and unexpected deep dives. But every now and then, it serves up a genuinely wholesome thread that reminds us what people are really looking for, especially when it comes to kindness, effort, and emotional intelligence.

#1

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When a guy *does things* and doesn’t expect women to fuss over them. They make a mess, they clean it. They are hungry, they start cooking. They notice something needs fixing they get on with it wether or not it is a “masculine” job. And they don’t expect praise for it. Like it’s just common sense to them, you know what I mean?

My theory is these people were raised by single parents and haven’t had that “you boys watch the game while we cook dinner” type of experience.

#2

I had a rough life growing up and it was still rough when I met him. Friends had fallen away and were off to their own lives. I was working in a call center. I was working tripple/double shifts to survive in my apartment alone. My family isn’t even a question on the table. I had just been alone for a long time.

I met this guy on a dating app. I had been on a ton of awful dates as one does when trying to find your person on an app. But this one guy I saw had these pics of him in a hat way too small for his head and a couple of other photos I found endearing. We messaged for a long time, and it wasn’t hollow conversations. Real conversations, that weren’t ended in one worded replies. After some time and me giving up on dating for a bit, I deleted my app/account. But I just.. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. So a few weeks later, I made the account again and found him. We planned a date that week.

He showed up to our first date with a small gift bag. Inside was a small 3-d printed dino skull. He stood there in the sunset that evening telling me that he didn’t know if I would like him (aka continue to see and date him) should my birthday come in a month, and he wanted to give me a birthday present now just in case.

He remembered my birthday. He remembered every detail from our conversations. He remembered I said i loved dinosaurs. He made me cry that night as I hadn’t gotten a gift from anyone in a very very very long time. It was given with love.

He’s my husband. 7yrs happy and going on till the end of time 🩵.

Image source: SpaghettioTheif

#3

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This was a coworker, not a romantic interest. But, ordered me flowers on behalf of the company for an event and had specifically instructed the florist to make sure they were non-toxic to cats so I could take them home. Just him remembering that I had a cat and putting two and two together in that way was way more thoughtful than most dudes trying to date me ever were, really blew me away.

#4

Image source: iam-ky, Taypurade/reddit

My little brother keeps tampons, pads & ibuprofen in his glovebox just in case a girl might need it one day.

#5

Image source: KindCompetence, Getty Images/unsplash

I had a colleague who was absolutely rabid about credit going to where it was deserved. If someone (usually a woman) came up with an idea in a meeting and it was ignored for ten minutes until a man brought it up again, the next thing that would happen would be him reminding the room that Jenny said it first. Every time.

#6

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When my husband and I first started dating, we went out to dinner. It was raining outside and there was a homeless man seeking shelter in the front entrance. People were laughing and being mean to him, and my (then boyfriend) invited him to sit with us and order whatever he wanted from the menu and bought his dinner. Knew I wanted to marry him that night. The nice man gave us random trinkets from his shopping cart and we still have them to this day.

#7

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My friends and I were attending a wedding and were all staying in a big Airbnb. While we were getting ready doing hair/makeup, one of the guys in the group steamed his fiance’s dress and then went room-to-room to pickup and steam all the other women’s dresses. He then delivered the dresses back to each room a few minutes later. He said he noticed his fiance forgot to pack the steamer, so he put it in his suitcase because he had extra space. Once he warmed the steamer up for her dress, he figured he’d steam all the dresses since he had extra time.

When we attended steamer couple’s wedding later that year, another boyfriend in the group Airbnb steamed all the dresses so it’s become a fun friend group tradition.

#8

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Changed his opinion on something when given evidence to the contrary to his original beliefs. He’s one of the most thoughtful people I’ve ever met. Genuinely listens to people and actually weighs the things people say to him. Never just dismisses people without deeply considering their words and their perspective.

I can’t wait to marry him. 🥰.

#9

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I grew up in an environment where arguments were loud – shouting to get a point across. So it was something I thought was the norm. My first argument with my boyfriend (now husband) was very mature and he never once yelled. He was empathetic and heard me out, and put his points across calmly, without making me feel bad. We ended up having a constructive conversation and resolved it calmly. And got ice cream after. 4 years later, he’s still never once yelled at me.

I also don’t yell but that’s because I’m a crier.

#10

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My ex and I are still great friends. He lives in the same city as my mom, who lives alone and has no family in town, as all of us kids and grandkids live out of state. He’ll check in on her and drop her off jigsaw puzzles, which she loves, juice, fruits and vegetables. He may have been a s****y boyfriend, but I appreciate the hell out of him for these gestures.

#11

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My current partner never got the chance to meet my dad, who passed away several years before we started dating. I woke up around 11 on a Saturday morning in January to him putting a coffee on my nightstand that he had just picked up from the Dunkin across the street. I noticed when he kissed me that his nose and hands were ice-cold, and as it turns out, that was because he had de-iced, shoveled, and salted my entire driveway while I slept. On its own, braving the Boston winter cold to do that for me would be sweet enough – but my partner also knows that my dad died after a fall on an unsalted driveway. He got into bed with me and wrapped me in his arms and said “I don’t want to make you sad by bringing it up, but just know that whenever I see ice, I think about your dad. I’ll always make sure your driveway is safe.” I don’t really know what I believe, but I do genuinely think that my dad was looking out for me the day I met my partner.

#12

I was 17, went out with a fake ID, started talking to a considerably older guy. Naturally I attributed his interest to my maturity, sophistication, and poise beyond my years.

When he stepped away from me for a minute, another man – total stranger – approached just long enough to tell me, “You’re obviously not old enough to be here. That guy you’re talking to is not a good guy. You should go home. I’ll call you a cab if you need one.”

The creep came back, and as soon as I started showing hesitation about him, he became incredibly pushy, trying to get me to go somewhere alone with him. I insisted on getting a cab, and he tried to get me to tell him my address “to tell the driver.” I ducked him and got in the cab.

I’ll never know exactly what that stranger saved me from that night, but it wasn’t going to be good. I don’t even remember his face, but I still think about him sometimes.

Image source: Similar-Morning9768

#13

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He noticed what I liked as we started hanging out, and then kept those things on hand at his house.

It’s like a magic drink/snack/movie/game portal every time I visit.

#14

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Reacting calmly to someone else being aggressive. In situations that could have turned into unnecessary confrontation with others, even physical, it’s very valuable to trust someone is not gonna be easily provoked and will actually help deescalate a situation.

#15

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My bf was at home, and I was at the University. Probably a 20 min walk. I called him to say that I would be late to see him because I forgot my umbrella and it was raining pretty hard so I was going to wait till it died down a bit. Next thing I know, he shows up, umbrella in hand. I felt like I was in a romcom.

#16

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Asking for consent before touching me. Really appreciate that, I hate how so many people think that’s an awkward thing to do.

#17

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We had been dating long distance for less than a year when I got diagnosed with stage 4 blood cancer – he dropped everything and flew down to take care of me until I finished my treatment. We are now married and I have been in remission for 3 years. I did not know how common it is for men to leave their partners during a health crisis.

#18

The first time my now husband came over to my apartment, he was telling me a story and while he was talking, I nonchalantly held my cat’s tail (who was sitting in his lap at the time) near his mouth like a microphone. He stopped telling his story, tapped the top of the cat’s tail like a mic and said “testing…one, two…*tap* testing…” and continued telling his story into the cat’s tail like he was talking into a microphone. That’s when I knew.

Image source: DietCherryCokeHead

#19

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I married my husband because he is the only man I have ever met who has ever apologized to me and meant it. Not warped it into, “sorry you feel that way” or any BS like that. I can work through any problem with him because he is not afraid to admit when he is wrong and we face the problem together, not bash egos.

I was not that way when we met, but he allowed me to learn to be vulnerable and apologize when I am wrong.

#20

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I had to tell him how something he’d done had been harmful to me. Took it on like a champ, apologised and was clearly remorseful but not in a histrionic way that made me feel uncomfortable. He never did it again and it was all good, if anything he was like, wow thanks for telling me because that’s made me a better person. Just all round good vibes.

#21

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When he tries to help someone everyone else is ignoring.

anonymous:

I feel like I got a winner when I see my SO give up her seat on the subway to an old lady. It’s amazing how few people do that.

#22

He stood up to my a*****e parents and defended me when no one else would.

Image source: thr0waw4y1232123

#23

Not my spouse, but just a friend I have huge respect for, because I think it’s important to include ways men can stand out in contexts that aren’t romantic!

He always makes sure everyone in a group feels comfortable and included, even people who are a little more shy or new to a group. I knew we could be friends when we met because of how respectful and thoughtful he was toward other people and everyone in our friend group feels the same way. He sets the tone for interactions and will always gently rebuke if someone says or does something not kind, sexist, off-color, etc. He holds people accountable to be good to one another and has created an atmosphere in our friend group that we all feel proud of and work to maintain.

Image source: bliggityblag

#24

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He mentioned alternative contraceptives for men by himself in a conversation and how unfair it is that there’s the pill for women but not men and that the financial aspects are pretty unfair.

I don’t know if it’s just me, but most men I met never had a single thought about preventing pregnancy besides that it’s a ‘womens job’.

He’s my boyfriend now.

#25

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My ex and I approached a busy intersection where a man’s truck had broken down in the middle. Without hesitation, he put our car in park and jumped out to help push the man’s truck. No one else got out to help.

We lived in a big city where most people keep to themselves. He was different. He befriended a homeless man with a dog who occupied the corner of his workplace and became concerned when he stopped showing up.

#26

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My now-husband got up at 7:30 every day our last semester to have breakfast in the cafeteria with me. He didn’t have class until 10. He doesn’t eat breakfast. We weren’t even dating yet.

#27

When they are very kind to animals, it’s so sweet and tells you a lot about a person whom you might not know well yet.

Image source: WonderfulParticular1

#28

When my now-husband and I had been dating a couple of months, it somehow came up that the house I was renting didn’t have any carbon monoxide detectors. He didn’t like that, and said he was going to get one and install it for me. I was like, “Okay, sure,” and promptly forgot about it.

And then the next week (we lived about an hour and a half apart and only saw each other on weekends) he showed up with two and installed them before we went to dinner. It wasn’t just that he cared about my safety, it was that he said he was going to do something and then did it at the first opportunity. I’ve had a fair amount of people in my life who promise a lot but never deliver, so the fact that he did, well, that meant a lot.

A bit later, we were starting to get more serious, and he had gotten a new job after recently being laid off. He was talking about his future and that he might sell his house and buy a new one in a year or two, and I said, “Oh, what would you be looking for?” He replied, “Well, if we’re still together, hopefully we’d be ready to live together, so if you still have the same job, something halfway between our current places so neither of us has a terrible commute. And I figure you won’t want all of my WOW stuff displayed in the living room like it is now, so I’ll need a man cave. And if I have a space that’s all mine like that, it’s only fair that you do too, so there should be a room you can turn into a craft room or a library or whatever you want.”

I was BLOWN AWAY. No one had ever shown me such consideration and thoughtfulness like that, factored me into their plans without prompting and actually thinking about what I might want. I told him I loved him for the first time two weeks later.

And yes, our house has both a man cave for him and a library for me.

Image source: clcountry

#29

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My now husband after a few weeks of dating showed up with a journal he’d picked out. I mentioned in passing I liked writing. It was just a nice gesture. He saw it, thought of me and handed it to me without fanfare as he picked me up for dinner. It was the listening, the thoughtfulness specifically for my interest, and the modest way he did it where he didn’t need me to make a big deal about his gesture. It was a sign he’d be interested in me and thoughtful in small ways, I thought. 20 years in, I was right and it’s has held true.

#30

A guy made a pass at me at a coffee shop. I politely declined. He said something like “ok well thanks anyways, you have a great night”(with a smile) and then turned around and started to walk off. He didn’t call me a b***h or insinuate i was ugly or get angry. No grumbling. No pissing. No moaning.

He got about 5 feet from me before I went and asked him for his number. It was such a shock that I had to see what else he had to offer, even if he wasn’t really my type. We didn’t click but I sent every girl I thought he’d like his direction after that.

Image source: godwins_law_34

#31

It’s a tiny thing compared to some, but when I asked him not to use some words when talking with me (like refer to anything as b***h or b****y, etc), he just said ok and never used them again. He didn’t argue how it’s just a word and I’m too sensitive, just accepted it.

Image source: slendernan

#32

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The first time we disagreed, we attacked the problem instead of each other. It was the first “fight” I ever had with anyone where I didn’t feel defensive or scared or need to scream/be mean. It didn’t feel like one of us had to be right and the other would be wrong.

He was calm, receptive, listened to understand me, validated my feelings while brainstorming solutions to the problem. I was so shocked, I didn’t know this was an option. I can get ilys in the middle of an argument?????

Now I’m excited to be my true self, share my true thoughts and opinions and have lots of “arguments” with my boyfriend.

#33

Every time we walk in a place he’s been before the workers smile when they see him and remember him joyfully.

711, Subway, literally anywhere we go.

Image source: Totallynotokayokay

#34

My now-husband always did whatever he said he was going to do. He called when he said he’d call. He showed up at whatever time he said he would. Anything he told me, I could rely on it. A shockingly high number of the men I’d dated could not be relied on to do the simplest things.

We’ve been together nearly 33 years, almost 31 married, and he’s still that way.

Image source: WalnutTree80

#35

My wife says it was the moment I paid $91 for emergency vet treatment of her cat at a time neither of us had any money, but I had a credit card. Cat would have died.

In about 1984.

Married almost 39 years now.

Image source: Form1040

#36

Men who stand up to other men being unnecessarily rude, aggressive, mean to people. Immediately stands out in the BEST way.

Image source: rconrarrecha

#37

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I cancelled a date because I was sick he showed up half an hour later with medicine, soup and the Lord of The Rings box set.

#38

He was hanging around my boyfriend of the time who was bragging about how he was cheating on me. The next night when we were all hanging out in a group, he asked if I’d like to go on a walk with him before I went home for the night because he wanted to talk to me about something. He told me everything my bf said about the girl because “you deserved to know”. He bought me a soda and talked to me while I processed it and never once made me feel like he was preying on that circumstance like people sometimes do.

Image source: BethCab4Cutie

#39

Not done to me, but I actually met someone in an emergency room. His dad was sick, and despite the stressful situation and long wait, he stayed so patient and reassuring. He kept comforting his dad with the sweetest smile, making sure he felt at ease. The way he handled everything with such grace and warmth really stood out to me.

Image source: happyviruuus

#40

Was on the date with a guy and we went on a bus and after us this one older lady struggled to pay for the ticket. My date went and paid for her.. the s**iest thing I have ever seen.

Image source: ShaddowsCat