Many Men Still Seem To Think Doing These 20 Things Are Thoughtful But Women Don’t Agree

Published 11 months ago

There’s a reason the book “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus” became so popular. There are quite a few differences between the two genders apart from anatomically. However, it may not be as complicated as one thinks according to some insightful answers received on a discussion that took place after a group of men appealed to the online masses to help them understand women better. 

Many women responded with their opinions and the common consensus seems to be that in a world with over 3.5 billion women, it’s impossible to generalise and say “this” is what women want. In fact, it may actually just be that men need to listen to the individual woman they are dealing with and try to respond accordingly. Sound intriguing? Scroll below for a more in-depth look into the topic, as per the responses received from many smart women who took the opportunity to point out how simple it is and where men may actually be over-complicating the situation. 

Read more


Image source: pashaah, RDNE Stock project

When my husband cleans the kitchen its like he thinks he did me a favour and then expects a thank you. Its not just my kitchen, im not thanking you for something you should do more often…


Image source: celestialism, Cam Morin

Guys often do what *they* think is a nice thing without actually considering what the other person would perceive as a nice thing.

For example, buying me flowers when I’m pissed off that they were disrespectfully late for a date and haven’t been answering texts regularly. You could just… promise to not do those things anymore and then legitimately never do them anymore. I’d prefer that over flowers.


Image source: 5leeplessinvancouver, Ekaterina Belinskaya

My motorcycle stalled and wouldn’t start again. I was pushing it down the street back to my house when this guy saw me and insisted that I needed help. He pushed my bike a total of ten feet before he dropped it, picked it up and dropped it again, then started complaining that it was too heavy. Thanks to his “help” my poor bike got all scratched and dented. Funny I was doing fine on my own without him?


Image source: QueenOfTheTermites, cottonbro studio

My rage soars when I get the: “what can I do to make it up to you, now?” question. After I’ve explained that I’m mad they did this disrespectful thing. And what they mean is ‘is there a gift I can buy you to fix this so that I don’t have to change my actions’


Image source: EnvironmentalLuck515, Ron Lach

Thinking sex cures everything.


Image source: peppermind, Josh Willink

I’m sure the guys who come here, asking questions like this trying to understand women, are attempting to be thoughtful. The thing is, any attempt to figure out what we like as a group is doomed to failure. There are roughly 3.5 billion women on the planet, and any group that size will have different opinions on lots of things. Being thoughtful is about paying attention to the individual not making assumptions based on what some people on the internet said.


Image source: SheWhoWelds, Blue Bird

I’ve had several men insist on helping me lift something they think is too heavy for me while I’m at work. I have to explain that I was hired to do a demanding job and I need to be physically capable of doing it, and their attempt to “help” me is actually hurting my image.


Image source: EnvironmentalLuck515, Mikael Blomkvist

Mansplaining. Do things for me when I have indicated I prefer to do them myself. Thinking that the response they would want to something is the one I would want, without actually asking me or listening.


Image source: redmeownkey, Ketut Subiyanto

“let’s just do everything your way. You can decide. I have no opinion”

Sir this is your date/wedding/house/kids as much as mine. It doesn’t come across as thoughtful, it comes across as you not giving a s**t.


Image source: overdressed_raccoon, YuriArcursPeopleimages

Kinda specific but if a guy tries to get pass me and puts his hand on my lower back. I get that he might have good intentions and doesn’t want to bump into me but having a stranger make any form of physical contact instantly makes me feel like I’m in danger


Image source: sad-and-bougie, cottonbro studio

Thinking that I need practical advice when I’m just trying to vent. Focusing on problem solving instead of listening.


Image source: Magnificent_Ninja1, Julia Larson

Unsolicited advice on ways for me to get fit and/or live healthier, particularly if they’re my partner (they think they’re being supportive but what I hear is “you’re fat”)


Image source: anon, cottonbro studio

When men refuse to go through a door I’ve opened for them, grabbing the door over my head, and insisting I go through first. Bruh, I’m just trying to be nice, I’m not challenging your masculinity.

I know they think they’re being chivalrous and kind… but it comes off misogynistic. You simply can’t bear the thought of a woman holding the door for you?


Offering to do something to help around the house but then half as*ing it. I’d have rather honestly just done it by myself than have to get frustrated and finish it

Image source: candy211010


When I am upset that they said/did something they knew I would be annoyed about, and then want to give me a hug or kiss to make me feel better. Dude, it’s you who wants the hug or kiss to feel better, not me.

Image source: kirowyns


Image source: anon, cottonbro studio

It’s really really annoying when guys insist on doing something nice when I tell them no. More than once I’ve had to straight up argue with guys who insisted on being “gentlemen”. It’s not even a romantic angle thing, it’s just an incredibly patronizing “I know what’s best for you” thing.


Image source: eggofreddo, Dani Mota

Say things like “there are men who actually love [thing you’re insecure about]. I for one actually love [thing you’re insecure about]” when you open up about your insecurities. It’s not about whether men like something or not. Whether I love my own body shouldn’t be determined whether there are men out there who find it attractive. You could have a 100 men compliment the thing you’re insecure about and still hate it by the end.


Image source: paieggs, Keira Burton

This whole, ‘oh if I see another guy harassing you I’m gonna beat his a*s’. Unless I specifically ask you to do that (which I won’t because that’s stupid) you’re just going to make the situation worse, get hurt and make it about your heroism (or pain when you likely get battered)

There are ways to help in those situations without making it more dangerous for everyone involved


Image source: ohhownowpurplecow, Radu Florin

Make big grand gestures because they think that what girls want (thanks movies and social media), ignoring the fact that you’re a very low key person who hates attention.


Image source: MosadiMogolo, RDNE Stock project

Trying to be supportive or validating by saying things like, “You’re feeling [type of way] right now” or “I know you’re thinking [thoughts]” that are not at all how I’m feeling or what I’m thinking.

Instead of being thoughtful, it comes off as assuming they know me better than I know myself or shows that they’ve totally misinterpreted my thoughts and feelings and just assume things about me that aren’t true.

It’s infuriating and actually *highly* invalidating.

Shanilou Perera

Shanilou has always loved reading and learning about the world we live in. While she enjoys fictional books and stories just as much, since childhood she was especially fascinated by encyclopaedias and strangely enough, self-help books. As a kid, she spent most of her time consuming as much knowledge as she could get her hands on and could always be found at the library. Now, she still enjoys finding out about all the amazing things that surround us in our day-to-day lives and is blessed to be able to write about them to share with the whole world as a profession.

Got wisdom to pour?



condescending men, men, patronising men, relationships, women
Like deMilked on Facebook
Want more milk?
Hit like for a daily artshake!
Don't show this - I already like Demilked