20 Modern Young Women Talk About The Moment They Realized They Had Found Their Life Partner

Published 1 year ago

A question recently popped up on the Ask Women community on reddit asking, “What’s the moment with your partner that confirmed that you’re gonna spend your life with them?” At a time when most individuals are emotionally scarred and afraid there are no genuine people left in the world to make a life with, these heartwarming tales of love will bring back the spark of hope if you’re still looking for love and if you’re already with someone it might just remind you to thank them and love them through the daily slog of life that tends to distract us from appreciating the good things we have.

More info: Reddit

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Image source: Icy_Figure_8776, Cristofer Maximilian

We had just started dating in college and were driving on the interstate when we saw two old ladies and an old man who had run out of gas on the side of the road. My now-husband drove to a gas station, filled up a container and got them back on the road. I didn’t realize until then that the quality I was looking for in a partner was kindness. We’ve been together 50 years.


Image source: KimmyStand, Sven Mieke

Lol 47 years ago I’d been goin out with my boyfriend for a few months and he just started one night talking about our lives when we got married. He’s the most unromantic person on this earth, but he’s also the kindest and generous I’ve ever met.

He worked hard for 45 years to care for his family. Now he’s retired he looks after me, does much of the housework etc. and yeah gets under my feet. But he still makes me laugh. Note, I think laughter is important in a marriage.

We celebrated our 45th wedding anniversary last Oct. He’s a bit of a grumpy old git nowadays, but he’s my grumpy old git and I love him to bits.

Best marriage ever..


Image source: delilahdread, Andrea Piacquadio

One weekend he asked if he could come over after work. I was a single mom at the time and it had been a *very* long week. Between work and my kids absolutely steamrolling me, my house was a disaster. I hesitated and then told him he could but he was going to have to excuse my house because there was no way I was going to get it completely straightened out before he got there. He told me not to worry about it. I’d managed to get most of my house looking like humans lived in it again by the time he texted he was on his way but my kitchen was still a huge mess and I apologized for it. He got out of the car with a bottle of wine in hand and didn’t bat an eye when he went in the kitchen to pour me a glass. He hands me the glass of wine, picks me up and sits me on the kitchen counter then proceeds to *clean my kitchen.* Washed my dishes, wiped down the counters, swept, mopped. Refused to let me help. Lol. I tried to protest multiple times but he insisted that it was no big deal and what good was he if he couldn’t relieve some stress. I quietly cried into my wine while I watched him clean and the thought popped into my head, “I’m going to marry this man.” I did exactly that 2 years later.


Image source: the_molarbear, Susan Q Yin

Kind of silly, but I’m afraid of the dark and use a nightlight in my bedroom when I’m sleeping alone. When my SO and I first started dating, he’d stay over a few nights out of the week, but he needs it dark when he sleeps, so I unplugged the night light while he was over. One time he stayed over for like a week straight and then wasn’t staying that night, so when I got into bed and turned off the light I had a moment of panic about the dark until I realized it wasn’t dark. He had remembered to plug in my night light before leaving that day so I wouldn’t be in the dark. That was my first “wow, he really cares” moment and he continues to show me to this day :)


Image source: SAPERPXX, Camylla Battani

It was sort of a gradual progress until it absolutely wasn’t.

I wasn’t going to marry someone I couldn’t see myself being psyched over having kids with.

Turns out I ended up pregnant unexpectedly because why not be the 1% or whatever of “you’re sure you took the pill correctly but life finds a way”.

I was initially kinda scared of how he’d react, in a way. I thought he’d be pissed off or angry or something, turns out telling him “hey yeah this is super unexpected but btw turns out you’re going to be a dad” or whatever was like telling him he won the lottery.

That locked things down for me. I had weapons-grade abandonment issues at the time and it’s hard to put into words exactly just what the positive reaction there did for me.


Image source: queenofskys, Ivan Oboleninov

We were dating for six months when I got really sick. For a week I was looking like Gollum, with high fever and snot and everything. He took care of me the entire week, got off work early to bring me food and comfort, slept by my side even though I told him to go away because I didn‘t want him to catch my flu.

The way he looked at me when I was the most vulnerable unshowered goblin – like I was the most beautiful thing in the world – made it clear to me.


Image source: G_Ram3, Crew

Our relationship started out with so much drama. Regardless of whether or not it was their business, no one wanted us to be together. We were both single parents and everybody thought that they knew better than we did. All kinds of fires were started and I am a very sensitive/emotional person. He, on the other hand, lets his logic lead, which is a good balance for us (sometimes).

After a particularly rough night, he could tell that I was overstimulated and panicking. He walked over to me, tilted my chin up so that my eyes met his and said “Listen to me. F**k everything that everyone else says. I don’t care about that. I’m not going ANYWHERE”. For the first time, I fully trusted someone’s word. It has been almost exactly ten years since that day. We’ve been married since 2015.


Image source: isla_21, Scott Broome

When we had just started dating, he was visiting me and a well-known pop song started playing on the radio. He asked me to dance to it in the kitchen and sang the entire lyrics (very off-key) along. It was clear to me at that moment that we would be doing dances like that forever, me laughing at his non-existent singing skills (six years later I can report we still do it :)).


There’s so many. I get reminded of the fact that neither of are going anywhere often. Most recently tho I came home from work to a hot bath with a bath bomb, a candle lit, tacos, and a bowl packed *AND* he did all the laundry.

Image source: RobotDeathQueen, Roberto Nickson

Back when I worked an extremely stressful job, I had what felt like no free time at all, and my car needed some things done. I felt so stressed about it, but didn’t have the time to address it for a while. One day he offered to drive me to work, I don’t remember what he said his reasoning was, but i happily agreed.
While I was at work, he changed my tail light, changed the wipers and detailed the car.
I was at a point in my life where multiple compounded stressors made me numb to emotion. I cried when he picked me up in my car, and I saw all the things he’d done. I knew that moment that he was my forever


Image source: sirenrenn, Oli Woodman


Image source: buttfl0ss, Devon Divine

I didn’t have a ah-ha moment; it was a series of a ton of little things. How we loved the same movies, worked in similar industries, had the same EXACT type of humor, how when we went to the mall a few weeks after dating he offered to be my friend’s underage cousin’s step dad so she could get her ears pierced (it didn’t work lol). He made sure we went to Applebee’s on our first date bc back then I really loved their nachos (they’ve since changed ?) he replaced a broken Sun visor in my dad’s truck so my dad wouldn’t know I broke it, he took me to a cool playground on our second date, he cooked me the only recipe he knew and borrowed pots & pans from his coworkers for it (he was SUCH a single guy lol). We have been together 18 years now and I cannot imagine being with anyone else. He keeps getting better and better. He’s forever thoughtful. You all should see how he treats our dogs. It’s incredibly sweet. He’s recently stepped up and has become an advocate for homeless dogs. Gahhhh I have an amazing husband.


Image source: neveraftet, Toa Heftiba

It wasn’t a single moment, but just this overwhelming lack of tension and anxiety he brings. I’m a happy person naturally and I’ve had plenty of good relationships in the past, I’ve loved, I’ve been loved, but this man is just… everything with him feels new and so incredibly easy. Since we met, it’s like someone turned life on easy mode. He’s had issues come up with work and his family, I’ve had issues come up with work, life and my family, but it doesn’t touch our relationship, which is so solid and so reassuring and so secure – that it literally feels like nothing can touch me.

It’s not a single moment, it’s the endless ways in which this amazing person shows up for me and other people in his life, without asking for anything in return. It’s the looking back at our time together and realising there isn’t a single moment we spent together that wasn’t made better by him being there.


Image source: pancakemonkey21, Nishanth Avva

Not married yet but mine was more of several small moments. He always knows if I’m not okay, even if I pretend to be, he always asks and offers hugs and physical comfort. He often doesn’t say much but his gestures are so kind. He puts in the effort. Every time I communicate with him how I would like to be loved or things that trigger me due to past trauma, I notice how he puts in the effort to accommodate what I need each time. He makes want to be a better person. He deserves my best efforts too and that has helped me overcome so much.
He accepts me as I am along with all of my anxiety and insecurities with such patience and grace and I love him so much. Writing this out makes me want to marry him right now.


Image source: wazitooya, Wiktor Karkocha

He has never once made me doubt his intentions or how he feels about me. My calls were always returned and my texts always replied to eventually, almost always same day. He’s always been very clear on where he wants to be with me. After our first date he met with the woman he was casually seeing before me and ended things with her and promptly told me so, even told me about her on our date since I asked if he was seeing anyone. I felt so much respect for him that he went to her in person, and was honest, and told her he met someone that he’s really interested in getting to know better, full transparency. And he’s always been like that.


Image source: sahw2015, Frederic Köberl

We married 11 years (together 13 years), so there too many things my husband does for me that confirmed he is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.

But here one thing.

I had a near death experience where I was bedridden for almost a month with oxygen tank in my nose 24/7. The bedridden me defecate on myself and he cleans me up that whole month. He also sleep with a pillow and a blanket on the carpet right by my bedside (we had a hospital bed in our bedroom due to my illness).

The doctors offered him in home help, he refused, he said he wants to be the one care for me. So he rather be the one that clean me for the whole month when I was bedridden. Trust me, adults poop is nothing like babies.

There more, but this seal the deal. Anybody can have fun time together, but how about when you bedridden and defecate on yourself? He makes six-figures and debt-free, enough to hire helper, but he refused, he rather be the one that clean me and sleep on the carpet right next to my bedside care for me.


Image source: Melodic-Coast2149, Dollar Gill

When he learned my native language to be able to communicate with my parents.


Image source: nothoughtsnosleep, Soroush Karimi

They pop up all the time really, even to this day. I don’t remember the first one exactly but the most recent was last night.

I heard him in his office, having issues with his computer, cursing under his breath and getting aggravated. He’s never ever been the type to take his moods out on me, but in past relationships my ex’s did it all the time so Im programmed to just immediately get anxious by it, thinking I’d be walking on eggshells all night now.

After a few minutes he stopped fiddling with his computer and left his office to come to mine, and I prepped myself for the incoming attitude. But all he did was smile and say “when we go out this weekend can we stop by microcenter?” Then he laughed and said, “my monitor keeps going black and I died in my game cause of it!” I laughed too, we shared the aggravation he felt and went to go lay down together. No fights, no misplaced anger, no random attitude thrown my way from misplaced frustrated, just love and support.

It might sound like the bar is on the floor, but I’ve had so many ex’s in the past who just loved to take their problems out on the world around them, and I love that my current never does. He’s incredibly emotionally intelligent and caring and he really has become my safe space, a person I can depend on and relax around. We never fight, he’s always my number one cheerleader, and he’s 100% the person I want to be with forever.


Image source: KopyKet, Hannah Xu

Maybe my comment won’t have as much weight as others because I’m young and I’ve been with him for two years so far but I do believe we’ll spend our lives together so here it goes.

I’ve told this story many times before, but I enjoy being reminded of it by such posts.

We’d been together for less than six months when it happened. Somehow we’ve always known, but for me that moment was when I felt like I know for sure.

My mother has a rare genetic disease and it’s turned out that both my sister and I have the same genetic defect. This happened before we found out, but it’s relevant to the story.

It was a very hot summer day, and we had an appointment at the cardiologist’s since my mother’s heart is affected by her illness and wanted to get ours checked too. My partner tagged along.

We had a holter recorder attached to our chests for 24 hours, which I was pissed about because I knew that it couldn’t touch water and I wanted nothing more than taking a shower and washing my hair that day which I would have been unable to do alone.

I was very frustrated, I cried, I told him that if it turns out that I do have it, I’ll end it all before the disease could take me out. I didn’t really mean it though, which he knew. I behaved really bad, and it was clear that he was frustrated by it but never said a bad word, never raised his voice, nor ignored me.

Later in the apartment he helped me shower. I didn’t ask him, he didn’t even say he’s coming to help. He just followed me and helped, held the shower head, made sure that the device stays dry. He helped me wash my hair too, and then dried me with a towel. I was so touched that I couldn’t stop crying and thanking him.

All he replied was “cause the lady wanted to wash her hair, huh?” with a smile in a mocking yet loving way.

I’ll never forget that


Image source: Lavenders_Blue, Martha Dominguez de Gouveia

I met my current husband online in 2000 when he was 21 and I was 19. He was in the Navy and stationed close to where I lived in Southern California.

We had dated exclusively for about 8 months when I became very sick and was hospitalized so that doctors could run diagnostic tests to determine what was wrong with me. (It ended up being my gall bladder).

He took leave earlier than he had planned and instead of going home to see his family and friends, he stayed at the hospital with me for 2 weeks. The first night, there weren’t enough chairs and no extra beds, so he took a sheet out of the cabinet in my room and slept on the floor because he knew I was scared to stay by myself.

We had to get permission from my hospital roommate for him to stay overnight for the rest of my stay. She was recovering from a double mastectomy and when I was off for testing, they spent a lot of time talking. She told me once, while he was out grabbing some lunch, that he was a keeper and that he loved me a lot.

We got married September 2, 2001, nine days before the world changed. We’re still together. Things haven’t always been perfect, there was even a time that I thought we might divorce, but we always came back together.

My mom still sometimes mentions him staying in the hospital with me and tells people that that’s when she fell in love with him.


Image source: GPXPMPHP, Chris Abney

My cat was always terrified of everything, especially houseguests. The first time he visited, she fell asleep on him. She never did that with anyone else, even me.

We had been dating maybe 2 months. I was in a car accident and was so badly bruised I could barely move, he took care of me and was so gentle and attentive.

Shanilou Perera

Shanilou has always loved reading and learning about the world we live in. While she enjoys fictional books and stories just as much, since childhood she was especially fascinated by encyclopaedias and strangely enough, self-help books. As a kid, she spent most of her time consuming as much knowledge as she could get her hands on and could always be found at the library. Now, she still enjoys finding out about all the amazing things that surround us in our day-to-day lives and is blessed to be able to write about them to share with the whole world as a profession.

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ask reddit, ask women, better half, knew they were the one, life partner, mr. right, relationships, the one, wholesome love
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