25 People Share False Beliefs That Have Been Ingrained In Them Since Childhood
Childhood shapes us in profound ways, and the lessons we learn from our parents often become ingrained in our beliefs and behaviors. However, the journey of self-discovery often involves questioning and unlearning some of these teachings.
A recent Reddit thread became a virtual confessional, where users shared some poignant stories about the things they’ve had to unlearn after realizing their parents might not have held all the answers.
More info: Reddit
That it’s normal to have something negative to say about everyone you know as soon as you leave any sort of gathering.
Typical religious fanatic nonsense.
-My role as a girl was to prepare myself to be the best wife and mother.
-CSA is the victims fault.
-What I wanted didn’t matter, know your place.
-There’s no point in educating girls and women.
-If someone is a religious leader, they can do no wrong.
That when you injure yourself, it’s 100% your fault and that the immediate response is to scold you for being injured, and worry 0% about the injury for a second or two.
EDIT: I remember being at the fair one time and got lost for about 10 minutes. My mom just ran crying to the car because she used to tell us that if we ever got lost, to return to the car.
Pops was still looking for me when I got to the car. My mom’s first words were “your dad is gonna be *pissed* at you!” and yanked my f-ing ear. My dad eventually shows up and his words were “why the f**k did you get lost???”
That the number on the scale matters.
My whole life I agonized about my weight. My mom kept telling me I should weigh 120 but I could never get there. But now I’m almost 40 and I’ve finally figured it out. I can run a half marathon in under 2 hours and my mom still gets after me for my weight being over 130 at 5’4″. I’m healthy and strong. The scale doesn’t matter.
“People making minimum wage are stupid and beneath us.” “People on government handouts are a drain on taxpayers who work for their money.” “Universal healthcare is communist and unamerican.”
-My father who has never had a job interview or put together a resume in his life. He joined the army at 18 and is still in it over 30 years later as an officer. Whose entire salary is paid by taxes. AND has his healthcare and education paid for by the government.
It baffles me how he doesn’t see his own hypocrisy. How he can think it’s okay for these benefits to be given ONLY if you risk life and limb (and be overseas most of your child’s life).
Not to cry because everyone will think you are weak
All unions are bad. (my dad).
Refused to work a union job. Ended up with nothing but a life of financial struggles.
He was not thrilled when I took a union job.
Twenty years in a union (private sector). Good wages, vacation and traditional pension. It was not an easy job for me but at least I have something to show for it.
I’ve recently realized how much of my negative self-talk is directly from my parents. Something good happens and I STILL get negativity.
My mom put a lot of stock into people who had a lot of money, drove fancy cars, took fancy vacations. As an adult who is struggling to get by – I realize how ridiculous she sounds/acts. Your friend from high school just
Bought a $3 million house. That’s great for them. I believe they had a large trust fund. I have to work for everything
The need to always be productive. There is no sitting down. If you sit down you can be folding laundry, organizing something. The house must be spotless the yard must be pristine (even if there’s only one person to do all of it) and time for yourself is frivolous. Anything short of this is laziness. The ultimate sin.
I’m literally sick from living that way. The guilt of self care is gut wrenching.
“Never do a job unless you’re gonna do it perfectly.” Now as an adult, I’ve had to unlearn all this damaging perfectionism.
That the important people in your life should read your mind and know what you want them to do without asking. Absolutely not true- you need to set boundaries, voice your concerns and desires, and communicate to get what you want. Not just expect people to do what you want and be mad when they don’t.
“You can’t always get what you want!”
True Dad, but you keep forgetting the second part where if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need.
“Everyone is more important than you.”
When I was a junior in high school she once quite seriously asked my best friend why he would be friends with me because she couldn’t understand why anyone would be.
I can’t wear white after Labor Day.
I can’t ever weigh more than 120 pounds.
I can’t go swimming after a meal.
I can’t do this or that because yadda yadda blah blah blah.
Don’t talk back.
I was just explaining my logic and my way of problem solving.
Sorry that it sounded like disrespect but that’s your problem.
And my parents wonder why I don’t share information with them anymore.
Because heaven forbid your daughter share actual information with you.
Always think the worst it’s usually not that bad . I think they thought it was a good message but it actually made me very scared all the time if I can’t get a hold of someone I think they are dead or hurt. Or if someone is having bad day I always think it’s something I did wrong. I am trying to change trying to look at things differently.
The vast gulf between “adults” and “children.” I’m in my early 50s and I still think of other people as “adults.”
The whole make you finish what’s on your plate thing. Yeah I’m not hungry why you making me eat?
I was bullied a lot growing up. I was a miserable little girl who heard “Boys you pick on you actually like you,” and “Girls who pick on you are just jealous of you.”
“What will the neighbors think???” ?
That I HAD to hug any family (or friends) who wanted to hug me. Everyone else’s feelings were more important than my own deep discomfort. I was constantly being forced to show physical “affection” because not doing so hurt my father’s, grandparents’, and little brother’s feelings.
It really got kicked into overdrive when my mother realized that other people were noticing me cringe away from even the slightest touch from her. Who knew that if you badly abuse your daughter, she’s going to flinch when you try to hug her??
That I’ll quickly succumb to illness if I go outside with wet hair.
“The only people that sleep during the day are firefighters and [escorts] – and you aren’t either of those” I still can’t sleep/nap during the day. Lol Added note: The point my parents were trying to make – was sleeping during the day was lazy behavior. I didn’t have a night job (They used those two as an example) I was 10. Still stupid – yes, of course.
That I always have to explain/justify my mood if I’m in a bad or irritable or sad mood. No I don’t. Just let me be!