“I Was Given A Kitten As A Tip”: 30 Hilarious Pizza Delivery Driver’s Stories

Published 5 months ago

We don’t often stop and think about all the adventures our delivery drivers must go through while bringing our orders to us. They have to deal with the weather, animals, other people, weird encounters and more en route. Indeed, we miss 100% of the stories we don’t find out about. That’s a lot of drama, tea and entertainment that we are potentially not privy to. 

However, one recent subreddit, r/TalesFromThePizzaGuy,  has brought an interesting collection of tales to our attention. Check out the most hilarious and unhinged stories of what pizza delivery drivers go through on the daily grind in their attempts to make sure no one goes hungry for pizza. 

Read more

#1 Let’s send the 19 year old girl to the high crime area, what could go wrong?

Image source: jorgeeusfairy, bilanol / envato (not the actual photo)

I delivered pizzas for a chain when I was 19. I didn’t have a cellphone at the time, but this event spurred me to get one. I was a day driver mostly, and I was working for probably a couple months at the time. I get a delivery for a street that apparently has a lot of crime. One of my managers instructed me to only carry $15 in change, and to call 911 if I needed to. I reminded him that I didn’t have a cellphone. He said “That’s okay, just scream 911!” So now that I was nervous, I set out for my destination. I get out, lock my car, and deliver the pizza with no problem. Breathe a sigh of relief, go to open my car and… I locked my keys in my car. Some of the neighbors were out playing basketball in the street, and saw me. One of them lent me a cell to call the shop. The one manager that could help me, had driven into work on his motorcycle, so he had to drive home, get his truck and tools. When he asked me where I was, his response was something like “c**p, there of all places?!” So yeah, instilling more confidence in me/s. But in actuality the people on the street were very kind. Various conversations ensued, like “How good is your insurance? We could just break a window.” And “Hey man, couldn’t you break into it for her?” “Naw man, it’s been years since I’ve broken into cars” . I didn’t want to pay for damages to my car, because I did not know what the insurance on the car was. So they just kept me company for the couple hours it took for my manager to arrive with tools to open my car. Drove back to the shop to clock out for the day. Any time I drove through that area after the incident, the locals waved at me. It’s one of my favorite memories from that time.

#2 RIP to One of the Best Customers I’ve Had in a While

While I never had the chance to delivery your food to you at your home, you did come into the Pizzeria weekly (sometimes every other day). Everytime you’d come in, you’d ask how Black Betty Boop is running (I named my SUV Black Betty – yes I’m aware it’s a song lol). You always asked about how I was doing. How my SUV was running. You even took the time out of your day, to go through your SUV (we had the same SUV until he upgraded and got a new car), and pull all the fuses and relays to give to me for Christmas, knowing I may need them. Well I definitely needed them, a few days after your gift, my high beams stopped working due to a relay…. lol..

You’d ask my suggestion for food and tell me you want a big blue Pepsi to drink on the side, knowing we only served Coke products. You’d bring in your own can of Pepsi and even just fill it with Coke for the s**ts and giggles. So today, I had the kitchen make me a cheesesteak with mozzarella cheese instead of american, just like you once asked me what to eat.

I’m gonna miss the times when you’d come to the counter to pay, and as I go to grab your money, you’d pull it away quickly, teasing me practically. You always were a jokester. I’ll miss the folded up triangle bills that you would hide in my tip cup when I wasn’t looking. Everytime you came around, you always brought a smile to my face, to all of our faces here. You were humorous, and caring, and so so generous to everyone.

So to one of the best customers I’ve had, Bill, I wish you peace and bliss in your afterlife. We will miss you. We couldn’t believe the news when we were told. We had just seen you on Thursday before.

Rest in Peace, my friend.

Image source: Mother0fGeckos

#3 Had to request a welfare check this morning

Image source: Roarkyuubi1, Pavel Danilyuk / pexels (not the actual photo)

We have a regular customer who I had to request a welfare check on this morning. She is the sweetest old lady that we deliver to. Maybe 75-80 years old. She never tips well but no one cares. She’s in a wheelchair and has the cutest little Corgi named Frazier. She always tells us about her great grandchildren and how well they are doing. I’m not sure if I’m allowed to say her name this site. So for privacy I’ll call her Sarah. She orders Pizza three or four times a week, always the same thing.

This is the first time she has not answered the door in the two years that I have been there. I called her twice, no answer, and even walked in the front door to see if she was there. I didn’t want to go wandering around her house though so I just went back out the front door closed it and called dispatch.

I hope she’s all right. But all I can imagine is her somewhere in her house having fallen down and not been able to get back up.

Edit: I called three and a half hours ago for the check. Haven’t heard anything yet. Not sure if that’s a good or bad sign.

Edit: I just wanted to say that no matter how alone you feel in this world there will always be someone who cares about you. It may even be a total stranger. I’ve been worried about Sarah all day and I don’t even know her last name.

Update: Nearly 6hrs sense the call. I’m going to swing by her house after I get off work to make sure. Maybe the cops just forgot to call me.

Update: I went to her house and all of her family was there. Between the time she placed the order and I got to her door she had a heart attack and had to be rushed to the hospital. Unfortunately she did not make it. RIP

#4 Pizza too fast?

Image source: irish_mutt, Cats Coming / pexels (not the actual photo)

Just heard yesterday that a customer I delivered to on Friday called to complain that his pizza was “too hot to eat” after I delivered it to him. My boss said it dumbstruck him momentarily, since the guy seemed to be sincere about it. He repeated the complaint back to the guy, then told him that his complaint would be a perfect quote to use for advertising.

Anyone ever hear some feedback like that after doing your job too well?

#5 How big is the personal pizza

I happen to be up at the counter doing some stuff, when a lady comes in. She is looking at the menu board, then asks “how big is the personal pizza?”

Without even thinking, I snap off “Any size pizza can be a personal pizza ma’am. You just have to believe in yourself.”

I don’t think that she was amused, but the people behind her were cracking up.

Image source: KingTrencher

#6 I called the cops on a customer tonight.

So, it was about 8:30 tonight, and i was delivering a few pizzas to a public housing area, the kinda place in town where you see all the crazy s**t like, I used to be friends with a few guys from this area when i was younger and while coming to crash at their places after the pubs close (so like, 3-4am) i’d see children, even toddlers playing and smoking next to tweaked out crackheads in the street.

Anyway, i deliver to this house and the guy asks me to come inside, this isn’t particularly unusual, so i go by the regular routine, compliment the house, smile etc… put down the pizzas and leave. But when i got to the table. I saw a few girls in there.. YOUNG girls, like, maybe between 10 and 15? If that? There were three girls, one was leaned up against this fat old guy who was feeling her up, another was humming a song to herself as she lied down on the floor, the other was sitting on the other couch, holding out her arm as this older woman was sticking a needle in it. They didn’t give a s**t that I was seeing them do it.i didn’t bring it up or even look any more than a glance. I took the money, got back to the car, and as soon as i pulled out of the driveway I called the cops.

I don’t think i’ll ever get that image out of my head. I hope those girls get the help they need

Image source: RedderBarron

#7 A small kid (7-8 years old) answered the door

Image source: msciel, Anna Shvets / pexels (not the actual photo)

Usually, when kids answer the door for pizza it sucks because their parents don’t tell them to tip or how to tip on a receipt. Well a little boy answered the door for a delivery I took the other day, he was really young, like 7 or 8. Had on a bright red shirt with a dinosaur and everything. He proceeds to hand me an extra five and says “Keep the change” and when I say thank you he waves it off. I hand him his pizzas and he inhales like he’s smelling them and says “This is going to be great after the day I had.”

TLDR: I think I delivered pizza to a 2nd grader with a stressful job and a mortgage.

#8 Huge big stoner teddy bear

Image source: peterunwingeorgewall, LightFieldStudios / envato (not the actual photo)

I do pizza delivery as my second job. I live in Australia. And, well, I work here too. 40 year old male. Just giving context.

So this happened last year some time.

I get a delivery for a place I haven’t been to before. I get there, and knock on the door. A huge hairy bearded mother f**ker opened the door. I could smell the pot smoke as soon as he opened the door. (Which is not at all unusual.) When he saw that I had pizza, the grin that spread across his face, well, it was infectious.

“Guys. Pizzas here.” he called.

He took the pizzas. He paid. He then asked if I had any menus. “Sorry man. But if I’m coming back past this way I’ll drop one in.”

“No stress dude. All good.”

I don’t end up going past there that night. But the following week I get a delivery on the same road. So I make sure to grab a menu. I call in there on my way back to the shop and knock on the door.

After a moment the door opens a crack and he peers out. “Ahh, I delivered pizza here last week and I have a menu.”

That grin again.

He opened the door and called “Hey guys. It’s the guy who delivered our pizzas last week. And he’s got a menu.” As far as he was concerned, I was the greatest guy in the world. He said if I ever needed any weed to let him know.

A couple of hours later I was delivering to another place and the instructions were to go to the shed out the back. I knock on the shed door and open it. There’s some guys sitting around a table playing poker including my new friend.

“HEY.” he says. “It’s my pizza dude.” He then gets up and gives me a huge hug. I had no choice. I had to hug him back. And it was good. He then proceeds to tell the rest of the guys how awesome I was for remembering to bring him a menu. They just smiled and nodded as if they were thinking “Man. He’s so f**king stoned.”

Anyway. That made my night. I’ve delivered to him a few other times. And he is always cool and friendly.

I’ve got other stories that I’ll share over time.

#9 Little girl drops her mums’ pizza

Image source: i_like_lurking8, ROMAN ODINTSOV / pexels (not the actual photo)

So I’ve been delivering close to a year now, had no hiccups so far until this happened.

Got a delivery to a familiar house, nice and easy drive. Got to the door and heard the mum yell out “I’ll be just a minute”. Anyway, I’m greeted to the face of a 6-7-year-old when the door opens, no mum in sight. Now I don’t really care about kids answering the door in regards to tips, as in Australia we don’t have a tipping culture and don’t rely on tips. I tell the little girl it was $18 all up, and she looks at me puzzled and hands a $50 saying “Is this enough?”. Of course, I’m not going to steal from a little kid, so I carefully count back her change to the exact cent.

I think it’ going smoothly. How wrong was I.

I attempt to give her the pizza, she is obviously struggling to hold the box. I hesitate and say “I think it would be best if you got your mum to carry it just in case”, however, she shakes her head and said her mum said she had to carry it back.

This pissed me off a bit, I don’t want to be blamed if she drops the pizza. The little girl gets a good grip of the pizza and walks down the hallway as I’m closing the door. Just as I was about to close the door, the little girl drops the pizza, topping side down, all over the floor.

At this point, I’ve shut the door fully and can see a bit of the action through the glass pane next to the door. The little kid is trying to scrape all the toppings into the box, and failing horrendously. I’m in an awkward position as I’m just standing there at the door, helpless. I wait there for another good 2-3 minutes waiting at the door to see if her mum came to rectify the situation with me. I was prepared to talk it over with her and see if she wanted a new one, however, all I could hear was the mum scolding her daughter about the mess she made.

At that point, I was pretty pissed off. The little girl must have felt so embarrassed about the situation. The mum didn’t have the decency to help her struggling kid with the pizza. As I went to my car which was a good 20 meters away, I could still hear the mum yelling.

I got back to the store and told my manager what happened just to cover my a*s if the mum rang up and tried to blame anything on me. Fortunately, we didn’t hear from her. Throughout the whole shift, I felt awful about the situation and felt sorry for the girl.

At the end of our shift, we get to make and take home a pizza for free. I decided to make the same pizza as the one that the little girl dropped and drop it off on my way home to their house. This wasn’t because I felt bad for the mum who probably had to cook her own dinner, but I felt as if it would take the stress off the little girl. So I went back to their house, pizza in hand and some ice-cream for the kid.

I explain to the mum that I saw what happened and decided to tell her how little kids shouldn’t answer the door, as money can be easily taken/ food easily dropped. I say that in the future she should at least watch her child when answering the doors for deliveries at the very least. She ended up apologising profusely and thanking me for my troubles.

The mum has answered the door ever since.

#10 I got some nice revenge on a s**tty customer who never tips.

Image source: Roarkyuubi1, aetb / envato (not the actual photo)

TLDR: Customer who never tips wants me to pay for part of his pizza. I get revenge by letting it get cold in a blizzard while he searches for 10¢.

Greg. F**king Greg. So I work at pizza slut as a delivery driver and we have this one customer that everyone hates to go to because he always pays is exact change. No tip. Ever. If the driver dosen’t have the change he wants he will call the store and demand the driver brings him back his 50¢. He has done this multiple times.

let me also mention that Greg is very well off. He lives in a half million dollar house and drives a $50,000 truck.

This happened during a blizzard. Of course. And Greg orders a pizza. Nothing special but his total was $15.11 and I draw the short straw and have to take it to him. There is about 3 inches or so of snow and still snowing.

I get to his house and ring the bell. At this point I take his pizza out of the insulated bag. I want it cold but everything turned out so much better than I had anticipated

He takes forever to get to the door. When he finally gets there he hands me $13 in cash and a handful of change. In the process he drops a dime. I count everything up and I have $15.01. 10¢ short.

At first he asks if I can just cover it for him. I say “no I am not going to pay 10¢ out of my pocket for your pizza”. If it were any other customer I probably bwould have. It’s only 10¢. But not for Greg. He starts blaming me for dropping it. (He dropped it). Again I say no and that he will have to find the dime or get another.

At this point the pizza is already getting cold. It was well below freezing out there.

He starts kicking around the snow on his porch looking for the dime. I spotted the dime right away but kept quiet. All the while he is muttering about how I dropped it and I should pay for it. I’m trying my best to hide my s**t eating grin.

About 3-5 min later I’m starting to get cold and the pizza might as well have just came out of the fridge. I tell him I am timed on these orders (I am) and that he should go inside and get money. He, of course claims, he has no more money and starts his sob story about him not having money. So I give him back his money and leave. I told him that if he finds his dime to just call the store and we will bring him his pizza.

I know he has money so I just pull around the corner and call the store to tell my manager what happened. During the call Greg calls the store saying he has his money.

I get back to the house, pull the pizza out again, and go back to his door. He hands me all the money and I make sure to count it, slowly. It’s all there. I ask him if he found it in the snow and he said “no, I just got it from the house”.

Not the most dramatic story but I was happy. He got cold pizza and I got payed. He hasn’t ordered since. F**king Greg.

#11 We used to have this sweet old lady who would stiff us…

It was a little shtick that she would do. She ordered from us about once a week and our store was just a revolving door so we always had new drivers. Whenever a new driver would go out to her house, she would know whenever because she was familiar with most of us. She would always order a medium cheese and a 20 oz drink and paid with cash every time. She would see the new driver and take a while to count out the change to the penny. She would give the driver exact change and say, “Oh I don’t need change back for anything. Have a great day!” The driver would turn around dejected and she would always say, “You forgot something!” and hold our her hand. $20 without fail. She was one of my favorite customers whenever I was delivering. I thought you guys would get a kick out of this story.

Image source: Melemakani

#12 I busted a kid making prank orders.

Image source: ikillconversations, Prostock-studio / envato (not the actual photo)

I had a delivery for two 20″ pizzas and wings. The order was $55. I get to the house and the whole family was outside. The daughter stopped me and said they didn’t order and have received numerous fake orders to their house the last few days. They were real nice and wanted to find out who it was so I gave them the name and number on the ticket and went back to the store.

I tried calling the number from a store phone but got no answer. I felt bad for the family and was a little pissed this kid wasted my time so I called from my cell and the kid answered. I told him I’m from pizza place and he made a fake order and needed to pay. He said “oh s**t” laughed and hung up on me. I was pissed and bored so I tried googling his number to get a name or address but couldn’t find anything.

I decided to try and scare him. So I sent him a text saying if he doesn’t call and pay the cops will be at his house in a little bit. It worked. His sister called back crying and saying please don’t send the police her parents will pay when they get home from work and she will make sure her brother gets in trouble.

Later that day his parents called and paid for the food and I’m pretty sure that kid won’t make any more prank orders after this.

I also got free pizza and wings out of the whole thing.

#13 We get a call saying been an hour and the pizza hasn’t arrived

Image source: usernameisacashier, BLACKDAY / envato (not the actual photo)

So I’m working as the pizza maker at a tiny independent pizza shop in New Orleans and the delivery driver is a 6’6″ Lithuanian basket ball player who’s supposed to be on a basketball scholarship but he has some troubles with the NCAA over a few exhibition games he may have gotten paid for so he’s delivering pizza in a clapped out ghetto sled instead of going to college. We send him out on a run for three nearby deliveries and after about 30 minutes of him being out the customer from the third house call to complain that their pizza hasn’t arrived yet. So I call the first house and they’re like pizza came just fine. I call the second house and they say their pizza just arrived, so I figure he’s had car problems and I’ll go find him. So I drive over to the second house and follow the logical route toward the third and as I’m almost there I see this giant man running at a dead sprint down the middle of the road with the pizza bag held up over his shoulder like a waiter. I pulled up beside him and without stopping he yelled “must deliver pizza,” turned the corner and ran up to the customer’s house. When he got done I found out that his car had failed to start at the first house and he decided to run about 3 miles with several pizzas rather than screw around looking for a phone. Best delivery driver we ever had by far.

#14 Delivered To A Dead Guy

Image source: Ok-Passenger4556, duallogic / envato (not the actual photo)

I’ve been delivering pizza for over 20 years for the same Pizza chain. About 17 years ago I was delivering to a regular. He ordered every week a medium all meat pizza. He was always waiting for me on the steps when I got put of my car.

I got to his house and he’s not waiting for me. I see his front doors open so I know he’s home. I tried to find him in his yard because I hate redelivering. Then I decided to see if I could see through his picture window if he was maybe asleep on his couch. Sure enough I see him on the couch. Then I noticed he’s not breathing.

I ran to the door and opened the screen and went inside and watched his chest to see if he was breathing. He wasn’t. I grabbed his house phone that was on the coffee table and called 911. I had a Nokia cell phone but I was panicking and didn’t think about it.

I waited for the cops to show up. I stayed on the line with 911 until they got there. I knew they would want to talk to me so I stayed around. The phone rang in my hand I thought it might be the cops or somebody else so I answered. Turned out it was the dead guy’s brother I didn’t tell him his brother was dead I just said he should come now.

I stayed around for probably about 2 hours talking to the cops telling them what happened talking to the brother when he came talking to his girlfriend and a grief counselor that was riding along with the paramedics.

When I called my manager and told her slightly hysterically that my customer was dead her reaction was to say “do you have any more pizzas that need to be delivered?” Typical for her she had no people skills. She didn’t even bother to ask me if I was okay.

Before I left the dead guy’s house the brothers girlfriend gave me $50 in appreciation of me calling 911 and not just leaving I burst into tears. I almost quit that night. I never want to go through that again.

#15 Best tip ever

This was from 1985, in a mid-sized American university city. Pizza employee wages then were comparable to other fast food restaurants, tips were not as big a factor as they are now. Almost everyone tipped a dollar or so (about $2 and change in 2019 money).

I got a delivery to a house on the less affluent side of our delivery area. I was met at the door by four children, I guessed the ages 10 on down. All beaming with anticipation of all the pizza goodness I was bringing. They paid with exact change and thanked me politely. No tip, not a big deal and four happy kids.

As fate would have it, I delivered to their house every time they ordered. I was greeted with, “Hey, it’s you!” Same four kids, never saw the parents. Always paid in exact change. It quickly became clear to me that pizza was a treat for them and something they had to scrimp to afford.

Just before Christmas, just before I left the pizza job to work in my field of study, I delivered to their home one last time. They met met me at the door as usual. After paying, the oldest child said, “Wait a minute.” She came back with a 50 cent tip. “This is for you.” Knowing that the family had to scrape enough for a pizza treat every couple of weeks, this was the best tip ever.

Image source: Knightsrule

#16 Kid tried to tip me $34 and I didn’t let him.

Image source: JonathanWarner, Pressmaster / envato (not the actual photo)

So today I took a really funny order. At first I thought it was a prank order, the delivery remarks said: “I want my pizza BONELESS!” When I get to the door a good humored looking 15 year old answers and I say “sorry all of our pizzas have bones, it turns out that the Better Ingredients were people all along.”

He laughs, I read him his order and his total ($26.30) and he hands me the money and I hand him the pizza and ask if he needs any change and he flippantly waves and says “no it’s a tip, keep it”

When I’m walking away I realize the kid gave me sixty f**king dollars.

Since the kids parents are home and I don’t want him to get in trouble I turn around and knock again and an older guy (dad) answers.

“Hey, normally I would never turn down a tip but he gave me at least twice what the pizza cost.” Holding up the 3 $20s I told him I couldn’t in good conscience take a 120% tip without questioning if it was an accident.

He took back one if the $20s and was basically in awe that I was so honest. He asked my name, shook my hand, and gave me an extra $5 making the final tip $19 plus a customer for life.

#17 “Sing a christmas carol for a tip”

I’ve been a pizza delivery driver for several years, and today is the first day I legitimately feel ashamed of doing what I do. This story may not seem to be a huge deal to some people, since it’s probably more of me being socially inept when it comes to a big audience and being recorded and not being comfortable with my singing voice. So I may be overreacting, but I can’t shake this feeling of humiliation.

Since I was a kid, i’ve always been pretty shy. Even amongst close friends i’m somewhat quiet. And I am absolutely terrible speaking in front of large crowds. I remember in highschool having nightmares for weeks about having to do an upcoming presentation, and I would be dreading doing it every day until the day of. Not only that, but i’m a terrible singer, and I know it. I don’t even feel comfortable singing in front of friends and family.

Which brings me to the actual story. I had a delivery today with a note written in the ‘special instructions’ section that said “Sing a christmas carol for a tip”. I didn’t really take it all that seriously, and figured they were just joking. And if they weren’t, I thought of a corny line to say while driving there to hopefully satisfy them if they were serious.

So I show up and it’s some kind of small party going on. There’s probably roughly 10-15 teenagers gathered around in the living room and the mom comes to the door and takes the pizzas (there were 6 larges) as I give her the receipt to sign.

She then looks at me with a smile and goes “So did they tell you?!?

Me: “Haha, oh the note? Yeah I saw that, but trust me, you don’t want to hear me sing.”

Her: “Oh come on, you have to!” She then ushers me inside and closes the door behind me. All of the people there are watching me and already have their phones out recording me. I instantly get uncomfortable and want to leave as quickly as possible. An audience is one thing, but being recorded my multiple people will instantly make me feel anxious.

Her: “Well go on, sing!”

Me: “No really, i’m a terrible singer, i’m sure I will ruin your christmas!” (christmas is still several weeks away, I have no idea why they wanted a christmas carol so bad)

Her: “OH COME ON. I’ll make it worth your while” She said as she waved a 20 and a 5 in front of me.

I continued to insist on being a terrible singer and not being comfortable with it, but she kept pushing. Eventually I decided to try my corny line and hoped it would satisy them.

So I just said “Okay, how about, rub-a-dub-dub I brought you some grub!” Which was corny as f**k and holy hell so cringey to say and made me feel infinitely more uncomfortable.

Obviously no one laughed, and she went “No, it has to be a christmas carol!”

I insisted more about not wanting to sing and was starting to get seriously pissed off and uncomfortable that she wasn’t taking no for an answer, and she kept waving the money in front of my face to ‘encourage’ me, so finally I just said “Look, i’m sorry but i’m not going to sing for money.”

She looked at me incredulously for a second and went “Woooooooooowwwww It was only for fun you know. Well, you’re definitely not getting this then,” She said as she pulled the 20 away and only gave me the 5 and the receipt she had signed.

I said thank you and quickly left, while I heard several comments behind me from everyone else like:

“Wow, is he serious? What a d**k” “Ugh, gross” (wtf this even means I have no idea. disgusted she didn’t hear a christmas carol i guess) “Wow did he really have to make us feel so bad?”

So yeah. It’s just being pressured to sing which I guess should just be fun, but I’ve never felt so used and humiliated while working here. I legitimately feel ashamed to be working a minimum wage job now, and truly feel like i’m on the lowest rung of the ladder in society. I was just a tool for their entertainment that they thought would jump at the chance to make a fool of myself for an extra 20 bucks. I’m a pizza delivery

Image source: pizzathrowaway7035

#18 1144% tip

Totally normal day. Average tips, usual traffic, nothing at all out of the ordinary. I’m just on auto-pilot, one of the last deliveries of the day.

One pizza to a regular-a*s apartment maybe half a mile from the store.

Guy comes to the door, wearing a face-mask (that alone was already enough of a tip for me!)

He hands me the credit card slip back, just the signature, no tip.I briefly consider asking him to “fill out the total” (I almost always do when they leave it blank) but decide to just let it slide since he wore a mask and it was right around the corner.

He says “hold up. can yall take tips?”

“uh, yeah, man. you can write it in or whatever, we get it all”

“hold up”

he comes back and hands me a pile of bills. I see a FIFTY, a twenty, and a one. At first I just shoot him a look like “nah man, you already paid, remember” but I can see by his face he knows what he’s doing. I straight up recoiled in horror. Imagine that Italian Spider-Man gif. Not sure what made it out of my mouth, as I was literally in shock. “Whaa…???” “Seriously??” “You sure??”

He reassured me he was serious. “That’s all for you, man.”

Had to make a social-distancing exception and ask for a hug, which he graciously allowed.

Got back in my car and realized it was THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY-ONE DOLLARS. What the F**K!!!!!!! Why do I feel GUILTY?

Image source: petriyacht

#19 Kid tries to give me $100 for a Personal Pizza

Image source: MelonGodVEVO, Mehaniq41 / envato (not the actual photo)

So, first post on here. I’ve been delivering for about 3 weeks now, and tips are either really bad, or pretty good. I go to the door and a kid answers, his mom is in the back. I tell him his total and I’m pretty sure he was just happy to pay for something because without hesitation, he hands me a $100 bill, claps, and runs to his mom to tell her he payed and runs back. I don’t notice it is $100 and thought it was $10 so i walk back to my car, and see the bill he gave me has that blue line and gold 100 on it. At that point I got really happy, but realized that I felt guilty if I left. I go back and the mom answers and looks really confused. I show her the bill and said the little boy gave it to me. She called his name and he said he got it from her purse. She told me she was so glad that I gave it back and that it was supposed to be for their groceries that week. In the end I got a $3 tip, but at that point I didn’t mind since I just saved a family from going hungry for a couple days.

#20 I got to hold a 5week old kitten on my last delivery last night.

Image source: mersl0th, westend61 / envato (not the actual photo)

I took the call for these people and it took all the patience I had for it. They were crammed in the back of an Uber (yay for not drunk driving, tho!) and all yelling over each other. Finally the guy on the phone told them to shut up or they’re not getting food and was able to place the order with me lol

Tips weren’t predictable last night- so I was just like… I’m getting mileage and this is my last run, wasn’t expecting any tip cause they were trashed. Girl writes $20 in the tip line and gives me the receipt “i can’t do math for the total sorry” and tells her friend to bring me her cat.

I’m like… why is she telling him to bring me a cat?! Then this tiny little black and white kitten with the cutest meow got put on my shoulder and I’ve never smiled so much in my life. I def hung around there for another few minutes and it legit made my whole year.

TLDR; got a $20 tip, but holding a 5week old kitten was really the best tip I’ve gotten at this job haha

#21 Delivered 150 pizzas to Bungie

Image source: FaZ825, DC_Studio / envato (not the actual photo)

I deliver pizzas in Bellevue and Bungie was having some huge party for their employees. They ordered 150 pizzas and 3 other drivers and I delivered them in waves. Well, on the last wave the guy who signed for the pizzas asked to wait for a sec while he grabbed something. He came back with a cart of FOUR Destiny 2 collectors editions. One for each of the drivers. Also tipped $500. Easily the best tip I’ve ever gotten. Just had to share!

#22 Your guard dog has a weakness.

The only thing better than a 5$ tip on a short drive, is petting a friendly animal while I’m out. Usually cats and dogs, but I’ve had odd luck with horses too. One night I was off in a rich ranch type area. I pull into the open gate and while I’m grabbing my bag, I hear a loud “AWOO!” And I see this bloodhound barreling towards me. He stops dead about a foot away and immediately starts wagging his tail and trying to get me to pet him. He’s licking my hand and following me to the door. The owner opens the door and looks mortified. She goes “Oh my god I’m so sorry I forgot to lock him up! He’s a guard dog, he’s really well trained.” She made a huge fuss thinking he was going to hurt me or something while I’m petting him and he’s just happy as anything. I told her “I think your guard dog has a little weakness. He likes me because I smell like pizza.” I ended up getting a pretty good tip, it was a good night.

Image source: DatJason

#23 I got a brodozer pulled over

Coming back from a delivery, middle of town. (Hudson WI)

A**hole in the typical brodozer truck cuts another car off and rolls halfway into an intersection on a red light. Gets honked at, flips the bird.

I’m already annoyed as he had been riding my a*s for the past few blocks. Now we were side by side. This dude is obviously aggressive, so I figure I can make him get himself in trouble. Down the road is the restaurant I work at, and after that is a popular spot for police to wait for speeders.

Light goes green, I floor it, giving my 13 year old acura all she’s got. However I do not pass the speed limit.

Brodozer does not like this, and blasts past me, and continues to go 60 in a 40 way after he’s left me in the dust.

As I pull into the Pizza Butt parking lot, sure enough, cop was waiting as d**khead passed by.

Enjoy the ticket. You earned it.

Image source: Fire-LEO-4_Rynex

#24 I got followed by a Karen.

So I (22F) was going on a delivery around 9:30 and I pulled into the neighborhood with someone behind me. As I approach the house, I put on my hazards a little earlier because this car was driving decently close to me. I park in front of the driveway and the car stops behind me. It was already a little weird because I was parked on the “wrong” side so they were also on the oncoming traffic side. I thought maybe I parked in front of their driveway so I started driving away so they could pull in. Nope. They started driving too. Now I need to turn around and I don’t want to be an a**hole and do a three point turn with them behind me so I pull into a cul-de-sac and loop around and they follow me. I’m starting to get freaked out so I go into another long cul-de-sac and they stopped at the “main” street when I turned in. I wait at the cul de sac for a minute and call my bf/manager at the store and tell him to stay on phone with me as I think I’m being followed but am not sure yet. As soon as I see them follow me in the cul-de-sac, I immediately start driving back to the store and I’m terrified by this point. Every red light I hit I’m taking a right turn and then U-turning because I thought they might try to crash into me and kidnap me or something. They follow me all the way back to the store where I park in the back and run inside. Cops show up soon after. Turns out it was a stupid Karen who thought I was suspicious. For what???? Putting my hazards on and parking in front of a house? I wasn’t driving bad before that either. Thanks for terrorizing me and wasting mine and the cops’ time.

Edit: Just to clarify, I didn’t call cops, she did. I know I probably should have but I was mainly focusing on getting somewhere safe.

Image source: poppunkinrunkin

#25 Hug from cute little girl because I delivered her pizza

Image source: clarkkent1521, DragonImages / envato (not the actual photo)

It was a 7 mile delivery, order was $37.36, gave me a $2.64 tip. Gave the dad the food of 4 boxes. His hands were full so he asked his 3 year old daughter who was with him to close the door. He walks away and I stay to make sure she can close the door. But she runs out to me and yells in her little squeaking voice, “I don’t forget to hug you!,” hugs me, then runs back inside, closes the door and screams “pizza!”. That made up for the small $2.64 tip.

#26 Anyone ever have to call social services?

Image source: ryanobes, NomadSoul1 / envato (not the actual photo)

So I’ve been a pizza guy for the past five or so years. I’ve called 911 a few times, drunk drivers mostly. I’ve called the non-emergency line dozens of times (dead deer on the road, fights happening, car accidents, downed poles, etc).

But this year alone I’ve been in two situations where I’ve called social services, something I’ve never done.

The first was a family I delivered to (new customers) in a rough area of town. The guy was screaming at his family before I even knocked on the door. When I finally did, the screams went SILENT. Dude answers the door, his small (3, maybe 4 y.o.) daughter behind him. The transaction goes normally but the daughter gets excited and steps forward to wave at me. “GET THE **K BACK!” He screamed at her, she f**king flinched like a car was about to hit her. The mom then comes out from the back room and grabs her quickly, whisks her daughter away from the dad. That’s when I notice the mom was covered in bruises and her body language suggested she was terrified of the dude. She wouldn’t look at him, kept her head low. I was disgusted. And maybe I was looking in to this crookedly, but I didn’t want to take the chance. I called my local domestic abuse hotline.

Fast forward to this week.. I have a regular customer who is a mentally handicapped lady and her guardian (I assume mother). every time I go there, the house gets messier and messier and messier. Three weeks ago she answered the door in a dirty night gown with a giant reddish-brown blood stain 6″x6″ on the crotch… on the crotch. I was disgusted. Yesterday, I delivered there and noticed the previous weeks delivery boxes still stacked on the front coffee table. Weeks old, and the pile just kept growing. While the handicapped girl went to get her mom to sign for the pizza (she’s never tipped me once, 0/50 or so deliveries), I snapped a picture of the gross house. So I called social services, told her that the lady seems happy, but her guardian is forcing her to live in squalor. She doesn’t have the means to move out, and who knows if she has the functional ability to take it upon herself to clean the house. Basically she’s being forced to live in squalor.

And just 10 minutes ago, social services called me back and thanked me for the report. They told me they already have a pending investigation open in which the state is trying to obtain guardianship of the girl. My report is just one more big piece of evidence they’ll use in court. I don’t regret a thing, I hope she gets the help she needs.

#27 I saved a newborn’s life last summer with a pizza jacket.

Image source: anon, Antoni Shkraba / pexels (not the actual photo)

I’m a delivery driver for a small carryout/delivery place in a suburb of Seattle. Our area is really weird, because although our radius is 5 miles, we have all types of neighborhoods: section 8 housing to multi-million dollar homes, urban to rural, etc. It’s a fast growing area so it’s a total mixed bag.

Last summer I had a delivery to an upper-middle class area of my town. Regular customer, a guy who ordered from us every week while his wife was pregnant with their first kid. Same order every time, 2 large pizzas.

Their house is new and pretty nice, but they live on a hill so the platform outside their front door is a 5 foot drop down onto their front yard, which is also concrete.

I go to deliver their pizza and the wife opens the door with a newborn no older than a week or two sitting on her arm resting against her chest. She’s clearly exhausted, and her husband is coming home from work, so he isn’t home to help her out. Her hands are full so I offer to set her pizzas down somewhere for her, but she insists that she can take them.

I hand her the food and while she’s focused on balancing the boxes on her hand, I see her baby lean backwards and start to fall out of her arm. I reach to catch him and he slips into my f**king bag feet first and lands perfectly inside of it, completely unhurt but crying. She drops the pizza and grabs him out of the bag and we just silently stare at each other for a few moments in shock. She hands me the money she owes me and says “thank you” in a shaky voice and closes the door.

I’m not sure if we have delivered there again since that incident, but it shook me pretty bad to the point where I sat in my car and cried for a minute or two just out of sheer shock and speculation out of what would’ve happened if I wasn’t able to catch him.

#28 I was given a kitten as a tip

Image source: mayapapaya645, Nida Kurt / pexels (not the actual photo)

I can’t believe this story really happened so if you don’t either then I understand. Today I delivered to a motel 6. In general, 4/5 people at Motel 6 don’t tip, so I wasn’t expecting much. The guy answers the door and I hand him his pizza. As he’s signing the credit card slip, I notice his pet cat. I love animals, so I always get really extra and I say “Omg your cat is so adorable”. He opens the door a little wider and points to the corner where there was a full liter of about 10-15 kittens. He says “Do you want one?”. At this point i’m kind of shocked. I ask if he’s being serious and he says yes and tells me to go grab one. I picked one up and he says “that can be your tip!” and hands me back the slip (which did indeed have a nice little 0). So now I’m the owner of a 4 week old kitten named Tipsy.

EDIT: I would like to add on here because I’ve seen a few people worried about the well-being of the kitten. Yeah, it’s super sketchy that a guy is giving out kittens. I just hope the rest of them go to safe homes as well. We are confident that we can provide this kitten with a loving home. Though she is young, both the Vet, and people at the Pet store said she was fine to be away from her mama (since this was also one of my concerns), so long as we are diligently feeding her, and giving her lots of attention!

#29 I (Unknowingly) Delivered a Stalker’s Message To His Victim.

Image source: tannerkubarek, Pavel Danilyuk / pexels (not the actual photo)

This just happened today.

So i get a delivery to a home for the elderly, so the address should have the physical address as well as a room number. The receipt said to “CALL WHEN ARRIVED”, which isn’t very unusual in and of itself. The order was a medium hand tossed cheese, which is super basic, but again, not weird in and of itself. I figured that they wanted me to call because it was past the time that the house would’ve been unlocked, and maybe they would meet me at the door. I thought this was confirmed when there was no specific room number on it.

My GM texted me when i was on the way to the address that the person called again and asked to call when I arrived. Again, I figured that I would call, we’d meet at the door and I’d be on my way, easy. I get to the address, and dial the number on the receipt. A man with a stern voice answered, speaking in a demanding tone. He said “Listen to me. You will knock on [insert name on the receipt] door, and give them the pizza. I told him that without the room number, I wouldn’t know where to go. He once again repeated the phrase. He told me that he ordered it for her, and she would pay in cash (it was a cash order).

I started to get red flags, that this was getting sketchy. I still tried justifying thing to myself, thinking that maybe it was her grandson ordering for her, as it was an old lady who maybe didn’t know how to order.

It got weirder when he wanted me to keep him on the phone, so I did. I knocked, and someone was close by, so they let me in. I asked what room so and so was in, and they told me. I went there, and knocked. An older lady answered the door, looking confused. The first thing that she said was “I didn’t order pizza.”

I began to realize what was happening. He asked me to hand her my phone, so I just put it on speaker. He started with “I’ve been looking for you [first name, last name]. Why have you been ignoring me baby.” She was confused and started asking who this was. He told her that she knew. She once again confirmed that she had no idea who she was. He demanded that she give him her cell phone number. I shook my head no, and she said “why would I give you my number, when I don’t even know who this is.” He then sneered “I am coming for you baby. I will find you.”

I hung up the phone. The number was likely spoofed, as he called on private when he called our store. He then preceded to call me 5 times (all with private caller as the ID) with me ignoring every single one. I finally answered and told him that if he called this number again, I would be calling the police. That was the last time he called.

When we were off the phone, I told her to contact a loved one, as well as the authorities. I told her I could blacklist her address, as she never orders pizza hut. This is the second time a stalker scenario has happened with me driving. Yikes.

#30 Someone tried to have sex with the delivery driver

Ok, so this story is about my husband. He used to deliver pizza when we lived in Florida. (Also when we lived in NY, but that’s another story. )

So, one night, the pizzeria got a delivery order for a pizza with mayonnaise on the side. Weird, but okay. And it was to be delivered to a hotel room. Fine.

So, he gets there, and the woman asked for him to put it on the table in the room while she got her money. Not the first time that happened, so whatever.

As soon as he put it down, the woman literally GRABBED MY HUSBAND! She started telling him how she was getting old, and she was so alone and how she just wanted a man for…you know.

He turned his head just as she went in to kiss him. Instead of on the lips, she got his eye. Startled, she backed up by 1 step, which was enough for my husband to get away from her. He ran to his truck, didn’t even bother buckling up, and sped back to the pizzeria. He was only out of the store less than 10 minutes.

He got back and told everyone what happened, including me, since I was a waitress there. For YEARS the running joke was that she didn’t want mayonnaise, she wanted “Man-aize”

He said if ANYONE ever ordered that again, he refused to take it.

Obviously, every time I ordered a pizza for delivery, I asked for mayonnaise on the side…lol

Image source: gfurbush

Shanilou Perera

Shanilou has always loved reading and learning about the world we live in. While she enjoys fictional books and stories just as much, since childhood she was especially fascinated by encyclopaedias and strangely enough, self-help books. As a kid, she spent most of her time consuming as much knowledge as she could get her hands on and could always be found at the library. Now, she still enjoys finding out about all the amazing things that surround us in our day-to-day lives and is blessed to be able to write about them to share with the whole world as a profession.

Got wisdom to pour?

500-

Tags

delivery drivers, drop-offs, pizza delivery, stories, work
Tweet
0